My 9 Month Old Doesn't Want to Eat

Hi L.,
This is actually a response for a 14 month old I wrote but thought it may start pertaining to your issue in the near future so am sending it.

This is one of the first ways for kids to start 'pushing the envelope' and having some control. As they get older it is great for them to have some say in their diet, gives them a sense of control in their own lives however right now you still need to be in control. What happened with me kids, as the pediatrician recommended, was to put out the healthy food I wanted them to eat, if it landed on the floor it was cleaned up, and no other food was offered. A healthy snack a couple hours later was offered, if it was thrown down then the same thing, clean up and nothing else offered. Let him throw a fit if he wants and probably will for maybe a day or 2 but once they realize they aren't going to be catered to and there is no other food coming their way they will start to eat. My son was very mobile at a year so he had to help do the clean up, big fit but great results within 2 days.

This sounds tough but I learned from helping with my step sons who were completely catered to at meal time that it continues forever if you don't take care of it when they are little. My oldest stepson refused to eat what the rest of the family ate and at his moms had a nanny that would fix him separate meals of whatever he wanted, to this day, he is 27 now, he thinks he should be catered to at meals. My own son who is now 9 eats what we have or if he really doesn't like something new we are having he will fix himself a sandwich.

As he got older, 18 months and up, he started helping with shopping and cooking. He would help pick out the fruit and veggies, learned how to choose which ones were ripe..., he got to weigh them at the store and carefully put them in the cart. At home he helped crack eggs, kids love this and learn to do it well very quickly, he stirred the food and held measuring cups.... He was much more interested in trying the foods we made, was much more likely to try new foods when he had participated. As he got older we talked science, what foods are good for your brain, help your muscles and bones grow strong, how taste buds change and something you didn't like before you may like later and that you have to try something many times before your taste buds start to like it. Kids really respond to the interaction.

Also don't have junk food in the house as a choice. If it's not there they won't learn to like it or ask for it.

Good luck and make it fun!
SarahMM

1 mom found this helpful

Hi,
Just a few more ideas here.
Do you give her only one kind of jar at each meal? I remember I used to try to have two different flavors in the bowl so that each bite was different. Or, I would have one jar flavor and the other half would be baby cereal. It's like salt on your margarita!
Also, what happens when you let her out after 1/2 a jar? Does she pee or poop? It's possible she is stopping because she needs to eliminate. You know how eating gets the GI tract started? From about 15 months and even now at 26 mon, my son will poop the majority of the time after lunch. So, we always put him on the potty after meals. See www.diaperfreebaby.org. I had read in one of the books that kids do not eliminate in their car seats, so it's probably true of their high chairs too. Yes, I know I sound off the wall, but I've seen this firsthand with my son.
M.

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but I wouldn't do anything. Until baby is about a year old, food is an experiment in tastes and textures. They should still be receiving the bulk of their nutrition from formula or breastmilk. So if she doesn't want to eat, then don't worry about it. By trying to force her to eat, you can do one of two things. First, she might start eating because you are making her, not because she is hungry. Children have to be taught to ignore their bodies signals of hungry and full, and when we try to get them to eat "just a little more," that is exactly what we are doing - teaching them to eat because someone wants them to, or because there is still food in front of them. We parents can be the ones who set children up for a lifetime of overeating problems. The other possibility is that she will realize that she can get you all riled up about eating. Rather than eating for exploration or nutrition or enjoyment, food will become a power struggle. My advice - don't go there. Keep reminding yourself, there are two things we will never force our children to do... you can't force them to eat, and you can't force them to use the potty! Just be sure to make nutritious, age-appropriate choices available and let her decide what she eats or doesn't. Even if she is eating no solids at all, that really isn't a nutritional problem, so just don't worry about it. I bet once the payoff of having everyone's undivided attention is gone, she'll move onto something else!

Best of luck,
S. L

I agree with Sara. Baby's know their bodies and when they are full. If she is refusing to eat it's because her body doesn't need anymore of whatever you are feeding her or she is full. Let your baby lead the way and she'll be fine.
J.

I would suggest that you let her stop eating when she's "done" and stop worrying about it. Don't urge her to take another bite. Have a dinner conservation with your husband, look at a book, clean up her mess and coo at her. Why is this a big deal?

She will be experimenting with behavior for the rest of her youth, and the more reaction she gets from you, the more she'll do it. So if you pretend that it doesn't bother you at all, she will eventually stop throwing tantrums at meal times.

When she's older and her behavior is unacceptable, you can calmly, without showing anger, give her a very boring time-out, but for now, she's a little baby. This doesn't qualify as 'bad behavior", it's only her experimenting with the little life she's been given.

I am having the SAME problem with my 8.5 mo old! I actually have found that if i give her some finger foods for her to give herself inbetween what i feed her. It seems to work really well. Given it is still taking me longer than i'd like to feed her but at least she's getting the nutrients she needs

It's probably just a stage, but my 9 month old would eat a couple of bites and then throw a screaming fit. It turns out she had a ear infection. There were no other symptoms. Once her ear was better she started eating like normal . . something to keep in the back of you mind just in case.

My 10 months old son LOVES to eat, but he won't have anything to do with baby food for the last month. He wants what we are eating.

you may want to get her checked to see that she doesn't have digestive problems.

with some practice you can feel her tummy to see if she feels full

feeding slows down at this point. many babies start to eat less, as they are not growing so rapidly. especially little girls can live on very little food. and they do. as long as she is healthy, has energy, sleeps well, she is most likely fine.

if she stops eating she is done. Kids will eat as much as they need they are taught to over eat. Dont try to make her continue eating if she is fighting it. Little kids can eat small meals all day long. Put the lid on the food save it for later she may be hungry again in a few hours. or she may not but dont force because you think she should eat more.

It might be time to give up the "jar" stuff and start introducing more appetizing adult foods (made baby friendly of course) - like yogurt and smooth to slightly chunky vegetables, and simple soups. I'm pretty sure my first child started rejecting "baby mush" around the same time. If your daughter still has no teeth and you are worried about her eating anything but the softest, mushiest food - just get a food mill and grind the heck out of everything. But really, try tasting that stuff in a jar and you'll realize she's most likely bored of it or wanting more taste. If you introduce some really easy to chew/gum and swallow finger foods, she might enjoy the newness of feeding herself. It's really good for their coordination and satisfaction if they can start exercising some control over the feeding process. My 7-month old (who is still eating the pureed bland stuff), is much more content when he can hold his own spoon (I give him one and use another) and will get fussy if I'm just shoveling it in for him.
I have to agree with you that there is nothing more rewarding than being a MOM! Love to hear others say that...

i wouldn't worry. if she says she's done, trust her. As she is weaned from nursing or the bottle, things will improve

You've already gotten some great advice. I agree with them. Don't worry about it too much. She should still be getting the majority of her nutrition from breast milk or formula, the babyfoods are just extras. I think it's a great idea to let her start feeding herself if she's ready. Try little pieces of bread, cheerios, etc. Also, she may just be tired of babyfoods if she's been eating them for a while. My kids eventually got sick of the pureed fruits and vegies and did better if I mushed up more grown up foods. Good luck to you!

I wonder if she is thirsty...do you offer water with her meal? Also, she may be getting ready to start self feeding, have you offered her stuff she can feed herself?

You know, at about this same age both of my children began refusing to eat also. And, from what I was told, it can be absolutely normal. They are becoming more mobile and active and sitting for a long time to eat isn't that appealing. Another reason may be that they are cutting teeth, or that they just aren't requiring as much food as their growth rate slows a bit. Though my children are both only in the 25th percentile (or so) for weight, one is in the 50th for height and the other in the 95th, so I don't think their refusal to eat is unhealthy for them (and neither does their pediatrician). Neither of my kids (now 4 and 2 yrs) eats as much as I think they should, but they eat a good variety of things, and that is really the key. Don't get frustrated-- she'll be fine.

As the mother of a 9 month old who is doing something very similar, I know how frustrating this can be. If you are sure that there isn't a medical reason for this (food allergies, stomach bug, teething among other things can cause disruptions in appetite/eating habits) then I would let it be. She won't let herself starve.
My little guy used to eat like a sumo wrestler, but has recently started eating a few bites then throwing the rest of his food on the floor. I just take it as a cue that he is done, even though he could certainly eat more. I get him out of his highchair and we do something else. If he didn't get enough to eat, he will be more focused on eating at the next meal. I don't try to force it, or dance around trying to get him to eat. Food and mealtime can become a real battleground if you let it, since it is one of the few things your kiddo can control. She may just have figured out that not eating gets a reaction from you.
You also might, as some others have suggested, start offering your daughter more food off of your plate (or a modified version of what you are eating). I know that my son is much more interested in what mom and dad are eating than in baby food and much more likely to eat well if we all eat together and he can see that we are having the same thing.
Good luck!

she's full. don't force her to eat more than she feels is necessary. children graze throughout the day...it's natural. they don't sit down to big meals like the rest of us, and especially on our timetable. let her graze. if she gets hungry later, feed her the rest of the food. but don't force the issue. she's not going to let herself starve.

Hi L.,

I agree that your child should determine the amount. If she refuses food then be done. You want to avoid battles with eating so that food time is social and fun. Trust me, she will eat a full jar at the next meal if she doesn't get her fill at the earlier one. Good luck. G.

The beautiful thing about 9 month olds is that they won't starve themselves. When they are hungry, they will eat. When she starts to have a tantrum, end the meal. She will eat more next time. Don't stress about how much she eats at each meal - kids don't always eat the same amount at each meal - none of us do. If you are worried about how much she is eating overall, add more snack or meal times. She will learn that throwing a tantrum ends the food - at 9 months old they are old enough to learn cause and effect. After 3 kids 4 1/2 & under, I've learned not to stress about their food intake & I've never made it a battlefield. I give them good options, restrict junk food to just a little when I know they're getting enough of the good stuff & let them eat however much they want of whatever I give them. Sometimes that's a few bites, sometimes it's their whole plate & back for seconds. I have 3 great eaters & there is very little they won't eat - they even eat prunes & soy beans!

Read the book called Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Sater. It is wonderful. You will learn how to approach feeding/eating in a wonderful way and you will not drive yourself or your daughter crazy. I have loved the book and use it with my 4 year old and 1 year old boys.

If she isn't interested let it go, let her down. Forcing her will just tick her off. A child will eat if they are hungry, teething and growth spurts can cause fluctuation in eating.
I always went through the rule of thumb once they play with their food, turn their mouths away or start wiggling around they are done. Just try again later. Don't worry about it, she will not let herself starve!!!

Nine months is the age when most parents introduce solid "real" food to a child rather than baby food. Try giving her bites off of your plate. I bet she'll be more interested in regular food than baby food.

I had to distract my child...I gave him a little toy or something to keep him happy and he would take more bites and actually eat until he was done. If food wasn't the main focus, he would eat. It just seemed like he would get board. The toys got dirty, but oh well!

Just something to consider- food allergies. I know, that's all you hear about these days! But I tell you what, my son did the exact same thing. He'd only want to eat Saltines and I could maybe get him to eat a little bit of baby food before he would refuse any more. Turns out, he has really bad allergies and I think that was his body's way of protecting itself (not trusting anything- even fruits and veggies). So, first look for other signs like eczema behind the knees or in the creases of the elbows, or getting a puffy or red face with eating some foods. If your daughter has any of these signs, just keep a keen eye on her. Either way, just let her eat what she wants. She is getting enough nutrition from the bottle/breast and maybe she will prefer table food instead of baby food. Some babies hate baby food so give her really small pieces of table food and see what she does! Good luck!

Leslie,
When my daughter was 9 months old, she would refuse to eat as well. It turns out that she just wanted to feed herself. She was just showing her independent streak. Maybe that's part of the issue. Good luck!!

I'm afraid to ask how you know for sure she isn't full....its her tummy to control. Let her. If she says she's done, believe her. The last thing you want to do is fight about food, you'll have plenty of that as she gets older and peer pressure to be thin starts to take over. May as well encourage healthy eating by offering good foods and let her eat as much as she wants, which may include just a single bite.

It still amazed me that my 4yo can eat an entire bowl of beans and rice from Chipotle one day and literally nothing a week later. But I just shrug and say oh well!