My 8 Year Old Social Talker

Updated on April 08, 2010
T.L. asks from Mesa, AZ
6 answers

I am new on here, and must say this forum is awesome!
Here is my questions that I could use some great advice. We have an 8 year old son (only child)
He is very social, and talking non-stop in school. Every day, he comes home with a card pulled for
talking. They have moved him 3 times! This is also distracting for the other students. His teacher is not
very structured..so it is hit and miss. ( i have tried changing diet, rewarding, discipline, etc..)
When it comes to discipline it is hard, because no matter what we take away..he adapts!
Gameboy, toys, outdoor playtime..you name it..he just adapts.
Here is what I need help with

1. Would he do better in a structured environment with stricter rules? He just got accepted to a great school
in Gilbert. Much more structured. Would you drive 30 minutes Extra for a Better Top 30 school in Arizona?
He will be in 3rd Grade.

I am going to try the chip/reward system again and see if this works...

Thank you for your help!

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So What Happened?

Such wonderful advice!!
I am going to try to move him into a more structured school (He was accepted in the gilbert area) and if that does not work..
then I move on to step 2 :)
Thx again everyone

More Answers

L.W.

answers from Phoenix on

My 7 year old daughter is similar to your son... she's a little social butterfly! She goes to school at Benjamin Franklin Charter School and does very, very well. The school is very structured, expects a lot from their students and does not put up with distractions.
Would I drive extra... heck yes! The BFCS school my daughter goes to is ranked in AZ top 10% and I can really see a difference in her studies, her reading and math skills.

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

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M.F.

answers from Sioux Falls on

More structure is a good thing. I have a daughter the same way. God Bless them for being outgoing! I would go for it. When we lived in Michigan my kids went to a charter school which was wonderful. It was a pain to get them there, but they LOVED it!
I don't get too upset with her for being outgoing. She is wonderful at reaching out to people, and I believe it is a God given gift. In school, I am upfront with the teacher about her issues of talking and she is always placed in the front next to the teacher. She does get disciplined by the teacher for being too chatty alot, but I believe the pro's outweigh the cons in her personality "flaw". To be happy is a gift. I just talk to her about being respectful to the teacher.

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S.S.

answers from Phoenix on

I too have a "talker" who is in third grade. He went to K-2 at our neighborhood school which was a bit more chaotic where the kids sat in groups facing each other and he was getting in a lot of trouble for too much talking, was moved several times, etc. We switched to a much more structured school (Neely), not because of his talking & socializing too much, but more for academic reasons. He is doing so much better now. The structured environment works great for him. He still gets the occasional "name on the board" for too much chatter because he's still that very social kid, but not nearly as often. His grades have improved over last year at our old school and the curriculum is even tougher here. Yes, I would drive 30 minutes to a better school. Good luck.

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K.M.

answers from Phoenix on

My 9-yr old son is ADHD, he thrives in a structured setting. Currently he's attending the Franklin West campus. He still has a couple days during the year where his gregariousness gets him into trouble, but he does know that it's not appropriate for him to chat with everyone during class. Surprisingly, he's not bored in class, which was often his complaint at his other school. Previously, he was attending a charter school that had more group and exploratory learning. His grades were fine, but the loose structure meant that he competed with the teacher for talk time, which led to much the same problem that your son seems to be facing. Many times, he'd be the first to finish the activity, would help his group finish early and then they'd do whatever they wanted. Currently, his teacher has them pull out a book to read or some quiet activity that they can do while the other's finish. (Franklin students have their own desk, they sit in neat rows and columns.)

I would say that it's worth the troubles to send your son to a more structured school. I'm not advocating Franklin schools for all children or that style of instruction, but it really works for my 9 yr-old. When my 3 yr-old starts school, I'll see what works best for him.

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T.N.

answers from Phoenix on

Maybe he's bored? It sounds like he needs to be stimulated?? My very social son thrives in a Montessori environment, which is freedom within structure. He is not allowed to disturb others while they work, but the children can work together if they desire. My impressions of Montessori were very different before I actually started reading and learning what it really is. The kids don't just do whatever they feel like, there is structure. Some more traditional schools that have a very hands-on approach similar to Montessori that I'm interested in are Eduprize, Polytechnic, and San Tan Learning Center. There's Good Earth Montessori and other montessori's around if you're okay with that. All the schools I've mentioned are charter schools and tuition-free like a public school.

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