16 answers

My 6Yr. Old Masterbates . Need Advice . Is This Normal ????

I have a 6 year old girl who has been masterbating . Im very concered and scared . When i found out i freaked didnt know what to do or say . I kinda pulled myself together and asked if anyone has ever touched her there . She said no . She was very emberressed to talk bout it so i dropped it for the moment . Well she shares a room with her younger sister who is five and she caught her doing and so did her older sister. So i tried to do a lil research on the internet and alot of people said they started at a young age . I think one was even as young as 4. So i talked to her told her its normal and that she needs to do it in private . I also asked how many times she does it because i read that if they do it to often its not normal. But what is to often ? She said she does it once a day . I have also noticed since this has started that she wont go to her friends and spend the nite anymore and im concerned that its because of this urge . If anyone else is going thru this or knows of someone who has please let me know . Even if u have any advice it would be greatly appreciated .

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I just wanted to say thank u so much to all who offered advice . I feel so much better . Im going to go ahead and talk to her dr. And i think im going to try and spend some more one on one time with her . I have always felt she kinda gets the short end of the stick around here. She is the middle child and the youngest gets attention causes shes the baby and my oldest gets alot of attention cause she is such a handful . So i think i will try and do more one on one with all of them but most definatly start with her . Thank u all again . U moms rock !!!!

More Answers

Yes it is normal.....let her know that private parts are private parts and there is a time and place for everything. In front of mommy and other people with other people is not apropriate!
Spending the night at other peoples house is over rated...play dates are better in the day and age...with all that kids can get into, is it the safest? Times are different!

I have boys that play with themselves all the time.I remind them daily what is private and appropriate!
As parents we have to remind them of what is acceptable, like table manners and what to wear and how to use their bodies.
The world today is very open and exposed re sexuality.
It is harder to raise kids today than ever before!
Take one day at a time and know that they are children and the most important thing that you can do is keep the communication open.

you are not alone!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi B.,

I think you've handled this well so far in communicating to your daughter that her behavior is acceptable, but has its time and place.

I understand your concern, and I think a lot of that comes from our culture's tendency to view sexuality as taboo, especially for females, while it's actually a very natural process of development and exploration; I know of many parents of girls who had a similar experience, and their children turned out to be healthy, well-adjusted young adults.

Teaching your daughter that this is something that should be done in private, I think, allows natural sexual development while still protecting her from the social stigma that accompanies it...maybe not the ideal answer in a perfect world, but the one that makes the most sense to me in the one we live in.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I do think that it is normal for small children to "touch" themselves because of the sensation they get. For instance, my 2 year old does it in the bathtub and I gently remind her that we don't touch there and it's going to make her sore. I'm actually quite surprised that some moms are telling you to encourage her to do it in private. She's 6 years old and it's ok for her to be doing this behavior?! I don't even believe it's ok to do as an adult. I don't think you would encourage her to do anything else sexual at her age, so why this? I hope I haven't offended. Just offering another point of view. I wish you much luck.

1 mom found this helpful


TOTALLY NORMAL! Usually young girls do this as a way of soothing or stress relief. The most important thing is not to make her feel bad or ashamed. IT IS OK. =o)

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I have to agree with Mary D ---- don't make this a shameful issue. My cousin's little girl began by rocking with her stuffed animals (looked like she was humping them)as a baby. My cousin then found her at around age 6 or 7 masturbating at night. I do believe for some it is just their way of self-soothing. It helps them wind down and relieve stress. I was actually shocked when my cousin first told me about it, but since then I have heard about it a lot more. Like others have said, just continue to reinforce that it should be done in private. Don't treat her differently or be judgmental. She is acting purely on instinct --- it is not as if she is a bad girl. Stay strong --- I know these times are scary!!! I have two girls of my own. :) Just love her, keep the lines of communication open and make sure she knows that you do and will love her dearly no matter what. She may even be a little conflicted about it and not understand it. Honestly, it is no different than passing gas or picking your nose. It is very human, but not appropriate for public display.

1 mom found this helpful

Don't freak out - it is not totally uncommon. Explain about privacy and that she can only do this in privacy and that those are HER private parts and NO ONE else is allowed to touch them.

Oh, please don't tell her God is watching - this isn't about shame! If feels good to her - she figured this out. I truly doubt that anyone taught her or showed her.

This is called "self-stimulation" and kids who self-stim often masturbate, or rock back and forth, often before sleep, etc. It is similar to thumb sucking and they get comfort and calming from that, especially when they are alone. It may be your daughter's way of physically comforting herself and releasing stress/tension before winding down to sleep. Just like some kids get to the point that they can't go to sleep without rocking, some kids begin to need/depend on this release before sleep. It is also very common in neglected or abused kids, especially in orphanages. They don't get much physical contact or comfort and this is one way to create those comfort feelings. (not that I'm suggesting your daughter is neglected.)

I think you've handled it well, but if it's always a before bed kind of thing, you might try to give her some extra time and attention at bedtime... rock with her if you can. Let her stay up for 10 minutes of alone time with you. She may be experiencing some extra stress or going through a needy period and needs some extra help in calming and comforting. Help her remember that you can comfort her and give her physical contact, she doesn't have to do it herself.

1 mom found this helpful

i forgot about that one. My kids are teenagers now but i do remeber back when the little girls we six and mothers talking about it. I didn't have that issue so i tuned out of the conversation and can't give you any answers other than it didnt last long (less than a semester) adn that it is common

I remember my mom saying that my niece was masturbating and I think she was five. I know that they were really trying to look into the issue and make sure like you did that there was not something else behind this action. Her answer was also no; that no one had ever touched her there. I think that my niece was caught doing it often. They did talk with her doctor about it and they did not seem to find much wrong with it as long as she did it in privet.
I know that I don't really have much experience but I will also ask my mom and see what she remembers.
Good luck!

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