19 answers

My 5Yo Won't Stop Being Mean to Our puppy...need Advice

Hi Mama's. I need help. I don't know what to do. We recently took in a puppy (about 9 months old) that was going to be taken to the pound if a home wasn't found for her. She is the sweetest thing. (a puggle) We'll my 5yi is mean to her. She hasn't been aroung dogs and is afraid of big dogs. But this dog is little and gentle. She will hit her on the head and say "no" to her or she'll kick the dog when she doesn't want her near her. Many talks and time out's and it's not working. I ask her why she's mean to the dog but get the "i don't know" response and then she tells the dog I'm sorry and then 5 mins later it happens again. She loves her or at least shows some love to her but then is hitting. I don't know if it's because she is the littlest one in the house (my oldest is 11) and the dog is the only one she can boss around, since everyone else bosses her around? I just don't know how to get her to stop. My poor puppy. Help anyone???? Thank you so much mama's!!!

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you to all of you with "constructive" advise. I will be trying all of the suggestions. Things have been better the last two nights and she is more reponsive to talks and cuddling with the dog and giving her treats. I would also like to address some of the comments left. I do not allow my child to "abuse" the dog. Maybe I should have used different wording in my request. The dog doesn't weigh 5 lbs she weights 20lbs and my daughter is 35 pounds. She doesn't really kick her but more of like pushing with her foot. You don't need to preach to me about "letting" her abuse my dog. It's very far from abuse. It almost like rough play but I don't want it to get out of hand. I posted my question for advise, not be be slammed from people (other mother's I thought were on here to help not critisize) Thank you to all who understood my situation and answered with some real helpful solutions. You guy's are great!!

Featured Answers

He could be having difficulty expressing himself to you or to the puppy. You may want to find books on prodigy and advanced children, and/or indigo & crystal children. All the children born at this time are advanced. I haven't run into any who aren't. It may just be that he is frustrated.

Also, NAET.com for allergy eliminations. Emotional/Mental & Physical problems stem from allergies.

Be well.


More Answers

Sounds like displaced anger/frustration to me, and the poor puppy is the "outlet" for your daughter's pent up whatever.

If she cannot develop "empathy" or responsible handling of the pet however, then she should not be allowed to be with the pet. Or the pet will become unfairly affected.

Does your daughter's eldest sibling boss her around or do teasing toward her or anything that is not age appropriate??? If so, your daughter may be just striking out at the dog, for whatever is done to her... out of frustration, because the puppy is "harmless" and cannot lash out at her like "older" humans can and is sort of defenseless.

Your daughter is already 5 years old... at least in Kindergarten? So she 'knows' in her heart what is right and wrong. It probably is true, that she does not know "why" she is hurtful and abusive to the puppy... all she knows is that she can 'pick' on it and it relieves her of stress perhaps.

In some way, she is doing to the dog, what she feels inside maybe... and it is an outlet for her.
I would talk with her, or perhaps ask a Teacher on how you can help her to express herself or how the ENTIRE family can help her...

Perhaps even ask your eldest child, what she thinks? I know, as a child and being the youngest, my sister was SUPER bossy toward me and teased me a lot... it pissed me off, and I didn't understand why "I" got scolded for things... it was probably because my sister was older and more able to defend herself and verbalize things and get herself out of situations. Versus for me, being the youngest, I was not as quick mouthed as my sister... thus, I got blamed more.

But certainly, the puppy has to be helped too... or it will become afraid of your daughter.

All the best,

2 moms found this helpful

I don't know, but when my 6 year old nephew kicked my dog in the leg, I walked over and kicked him in the leg. He was SHOCKED! I then explained how the dog isn't expecting it or liking it either and from then on, anytime I saw him mistreat the dog, I was going to give him the same exact treatment. Needless to say, it worked. A dose of their own medicine sometimes helps. (obviously I'm not promoting any beatings of small children, please realize no marks or bruises were left on my nephew, it was more the outrageousness of me kicking at him that got his attention, no need to be harsh) Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

Have you trying doing the same thing to her taht she dode to the puppy of course not as hard as she does to do the puppy also have her hold the puppy in her lap and praise her when she does so some times it takes a little time to get use to a animmal by the way in between give her lots of hugs so she knows she is not being replaced by an aanimal with patience shell come around let her know that she is very important to you but dogs are fun encourge her her to feed. Pet and love her londerful pet goo luck. Ive found raiseing my 4 children positive approch worked better than punishment A. no. Hills

1 mom found this helpful

This has got to be a tough situation but it could get worse, As hard as it would be, it might be the best for the puppy and your child to find a new home for the pup. Perhaps even talking with your child and letting them know that this behavior is cruel to the pet and if it happens again the puppy will have to go to a "safe" home. A tough love lesson.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi M.,
This isn't about the dog, but the "why" question. Many of us ask children "why" and always get an unsatisfactory response. Why? Because they don't know, they just want to and don't know the reason. So don't ask, just makes them feel stupid. Instead, ask, "what are you doing?" Ask children to reflect on the action or the behavior. Ask her what the dog does when she kicks it, how does she think the dog feels? How would she feel if someone did that to her? This will not remedy the action in one try, but over time she will think about what she is doing, the why may remain an enigma.
Good luck, Wendy

1 mom found this helpful

My best suggeston would be to sign the puppy up for "puppy kindegarten" and have your daughter participate in the class. Whether the puppy needs the additional training or not it will teach your daughter the patience that she (and the puppy) will need. I think it is SO important that kids grow up with pets. Also, have your daughter be "responsible" for feeding her. If she is taking care of the puppy it may also make her think twice before just jumping to the hitting. Remember, this is not a lost situation. Have fun with it and your daughter will too.


One more thing I just thought of! If your daughter doesn't want her around, have her throw a toy for her. Typically, puppies will take the toy and run off with it. maybe thatwould help for the immediate....

1 mom found this helpful

this is completely inapropriate behavior by your daughter. especially with such a small dog, she can cause serious injury or even death to the animal. is she can't be nice, then she can't be by the dog at all, no if's, and's or but's. by being mean to the animal and her not correcting her behavior, even after your discipline, she has shown that she isn't ready for the animal and i would suggest letting her know that you're going to get rid of the puppy because she can't be nice. cruelty to animals, especially by a child that can understand reasoning and right and wrong, leads to other mean acts and needs to be corrected.

1 mom found this helpful

When my kids were mean to our dogs, I consistantly showed them how to be nice. And then if they still weren't being nice then they couldn't touch the dogs. If they wanted to touch them, they had to be nice. If it got to this point, it didn't take long for them to change their actions because they wanted to pet the dogs. Be consistant and good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

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