11 answers

My 5 Year Old Twins Wont Stop 'Crying' and 'Whining' All the Time.

My twins daughters are 5 years old already, and no matter what I ask of them, they cry about it and whine about it. I'm getting to the point that its driving me crazy!!!! Bedtime is the worst part.Also getting them ready for school in the morning is just as I don't give into them when they whine and cry, and time outs aren't working. What can I do?

2 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank everyone so much for your great advise. I put up a calender and each daughter got a different color marker. If they had a great day they got a sticker on that day, if they had just a good day they didn't get anything, but if they were just bad, they got their colored in. Its amazing the improvement i've seen just in a short time. The one that was having the hardest time is trying to find things to do to get a sticker on her calender. She knows that at the end of a week, if she has 5 stickers she gets to do something fun. ITs working, Thanks again everyone.

Featured Answers

Try to give them as many choices as you can. In the mornings or the night before show them two shirts and two pairs of pants that they can choose from to wear to school. Each girl can rotate who picks first or give each girl two outfits to choose from. Lots or "controlled" choices will help them to learn to make better choices as they get older. Hope this helps some. Also make them think whatever you want them to do is their choice. Like, Do you want to go to bed right now and hear a story, or do you want to go to bed in 10 minutes with no story? Same with the outfits, Do you want to pick between these outfits tonight or in the morning?

1 mom found this helpful

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Hi M.-
I was meeting resistance from my 4 year old when it was time to get ready in the morning and at bath and bedtime. I created an incentive chart. It listed all the days of the week across the top and down the side it listed all the chores or activities I wanted him to do. (get dressed, feed pets, brush teeth, etc.) I set a timer for 10 minutes, in that 10 minutes he needs to get dressed and brush his teeth. It's a fun game to beat the timer, and if he beats it, he gets a fun sticker on his chart. My two year old loves to beat the timer too, so I've created a simple chart for him as well. Hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful

Try to give them as many choices as you can. In the mornings or the night before show them two shirts and two pairs of pants that they can choose from to wear to school. Each girl can rotate who picks first or give each girl two outfits to choose from. Lots or "controlled" choices will help them to learn to make better choices as they get older. Hope this helps some. Also make them think whatever you want them to do is their choice. Like, Do you want to go to bed right now and hear a story, or do you want to go to bed in 10 minutes with no story? Same with the outfits, Do you want to pick between these outfits tonight or in the morning?

1 mom found this helpful

Hey M.,
I am new to the sight and I hope my advice can help you in some way. I realized the way you talk to your children at the age of 5 is the way they will respond to you. For example; if I talked to them in a cute, baby talk (whinning)- then they continue to talk like that. But if I talk to them like big, school aged kids - then they repsond like that. I hope this will help & good luck!
_ Moni

1 mom found this helpful

As an elementary school teacher, I can say you should focus on the positive. Point out all of the *right* things that they are doing and tell them, "Olivia, I really like the way you did that." Or, "I'm so proud of how you put away your toy after you were finished. That's awesome!" When they start whining, tell them that you want them to speak in their "big girl" voices. Then praise them for using big girl voices (especially if you didn't have to tell them to at a time when they normally would have whined). The first few days you do it, think of yourself as a cheerleader for the day. Pretty soon, it'll be natural!

Some type of reward chart will really get the kids excited about all of this positive behavior (whining is negative behavior). Watch a SuperNanny show to get ideas - or Nanny 911. They do a great job of using reward charts. Every time you think they did a wonderful job doing something, say, "I'm so proud of you! You've just earned a star (or whatever) for doing that."

Introduce the reward chart during a calm time of the day. Tell them the very simple rules of the house, like (1) Use big girl voices (no whining), (2) Use loving hands (no hitting), (3) Listen to Mommy, etc..... whatever you think they need. But, keep the rules simple and short. 3 to 5 rules should be enough.

hi M.,

I have a total of 5 kids yeah!! 4 girls and 1 boy,my son is the cry baby of all the girls when he wants something and I don't give it to him he crys and crys, before I would just give in so I don't have to hear him cry anymore,well not anymore! It's time to put your foot down you have to have alot of patience. I tell my kids no and that's it I dont change my answer at all, he crys and I sit down and ask him why is he crying of course he tells me "because I don't give him what he wants" so I tell why I'm saying no, and if he keeps on crying then I just tell him he hads to earn it I tell him to go clean his room, fix his bed, pick up the toys and everything else that his, and then maybe he could have it! I do this with all of them let them know they have to earn it, by making them do chores around the house and helping you out and by crying is not going to help!! Remember talking with them (not yelling) is a step forward and then you will see the difference. Hope it works out good luck.

I too had my son in a Christian Day Care and found it to be a problem with discipline. Time Out is great, no doubt about it. However, time out is not for everyone. Many children have callous unemotional trait. Meaning, nothing matters, they dont understand why they are getting punished therefore will respond in a way they feel is appropriate. For children like this, the Reward System is a better approach to discipline. If you yell at your children, they yell back. If you raise your voice, they raise theirs, etc. Using a chart as part of the "reward system" they will be able to see what they will receive at the end of the week and look forward to going out with you to get their special surprise. You have a lot on your shoulders as a single mom. You are wearing two hats, your children know this and have found a way to manipulate you. Be firm, but not to the point in yelling it only makes the situation worse.

M., I too am the mother of twin 5 year olds, except boys. I am finding they whine more now than they did when they were much younger. I try to explain things to them, show them how they are acting, but it is HARD. Please let me know if you find an answer or even if you want to swap twin stories. I am new here... :)

WOW, hands full, I have twin 3 year olds, they will be 4 in a few
months, I have the same problem with only one, I walk out of the room
before I go to crazy, cause it does drve me nuts, the best thing that
works for me is taking stuff away they love, or teach them how to cream
in a pillow, I know they probly won't want to do that, but bribe's are good too!

How do u do it alone? I hope u have a support system, cause I understand
how hard and frustrating it is, I am a stay at home mom, so I am with
them all day.

Well good luck!!!!!

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