My 5/Y Impolite

Updated on January 07, 2011
R.L. asks from San Francisco, CA
9 answers

My almost 5/y boy always uses some annoying words that he just learnt such as “damn”, “you make me sick”, and always say them when there are visitors. Yesterday, some children visited our house. What made me very embarrassed was, he shouted to a little boy bumping into him by accident: “you, troublemaker, I don’t want to play with you anymore”, and when a girl touched his toys, he said the same thing to her. He’s now in kindergarten and I don’t know why he acts like that.

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Warn him that we don't talk or act like that - ever. When he does, you put his sorry butt in time out for 5 minutes even if he has friends over.
LBC

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J.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Kids are most excellent imitators. The first thing you need to do is, if it's you and/or dad he is learning it from, it needs to stop there first. Secondly, YOU watch whatever he is watching on tv. I am totally shocked at some of the things they say on children's movies and tv. You can either stop letting him watch those shows, or you can teach him the things that are inappropriate and explain to him that it is rude talking and if he repeats it, then he can not watch the shows anymore. This applies to things he might hear from his peers in kindergarten. Don't just tell him to Stop, explain to him that that kind of talk is rude and unacceptable. Also, in the moment, explain to him another way he could of handled a situation. Instead of saying "You trouble maker, I don't want to play with you anymore," tell your son that he could say(to the little boy that bumped him), "Excuse me, are you ok?" Replace his bad behavior with good behavior. Kids need to be taught good behavior, it can not be expected of them if they aren't taught it. So, don't just reprimand bad behavior, teach good behavior and praise him for it. Make sure he apologizes for his bad behavior. Kids need to learn that the things they do can affect other people. If he says something rude and inappropriate, AFTER you have already warned him, he needs to be punished. And, it needs to matter to him. Sitting in a chair works for some kids and other kids don't mind sitting for a while. :op If the time out does not matter to him, he needs to give up something for the bad behavior - A video game, a dinner dessert, an early bedtime, a favorite toy. Don't forget to praise him if something kind comes out of his mouth. Make a chart, put a penny in a kindness jar when he says good things....do something that works for you. Try your best to be consistent. I wish you the best!

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

You need to sit him down, and tell him that those words arent acceptable, and he should not use them. He needs to learn now or its going to get worse. He's at an impressionable age, and probably repeat alot of what he hears.
Give him words that are acceptable to use, and let him know that its not nice to be using the other words.

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I.*.

answers from Columbus on

I think you are a phony poster! I don't know why people make up posts to waste women's time answering them.

1 mom found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

It doesn't matter WHY he's doing that. What is your reaction? Does he get a clear direction not to do it and then a consequence if he does it again? If not, he has no reason to stop. If you are not firm with him, and allow him to run over others, he will always be a bully and it will be harder to stop later. My kids learned rude things to say in school too, but they weren't allowed to say them more than once.
www.backtobasicsdiscipline.com

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I wonder if he's hearing these things at school What makes me wonder is his use of the term "troublemaker." I would check it out.

G.K.

answers from San Francisco on

My mom said the same thing about me when I went to Kindergarten. She said I went to school that 1st morning an angel and came home a child she didn't recognize. It's natural for kids to repeat what they hear, and we have no control over what other kids say during school hours. This is also a natural time for kids to continue to push their boundaries and see if they can get away with things they never would've thought of before having access to other kids.

And to the mom from Columbus: I'm sorry you feel that this is a phony post. Just because your life and kids may be picture perfect doesn't mean everyone else's is. Moms have all kinds of issues with their kids, and you obviously have never come across something like this, but other moms have!

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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My Dear you are dealing with a BULLY! As the parent of 5 and having been a Foster Mother I have learned that children learn what they are allowed to say and do if the adult in charge isn't strong enough to say "listen I am not impressed and neither is anyone else I am in charge and not you so knock it off" I have been known to wash out a child's mouth for hurting another child in this manner. You are the adult so be firm and make it stoip. Why would he have people play with, talk with, or agree to have him on thier teams if he is unkind or mean spirited. You have no idea of the other chhildren's backround and how that may really harm a child- I have seen it with a very shy child who gave up tryig because the bully said thig like that. Since he is in school I hope the teacher has him taken out of class to the principals office or some firm punishment like no recess or has to write reports to pay for the meaness. As a parent ou children will embarass us from time to time but as you are in charge take control to limit that.

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L.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

Have him rephrase it into a better way to say it.

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