My 5 1/2 Yr. Old Boy Is Driving Me Insane!!!!

Wow, what a nightmare!
When my son, at age 3, started sassing me, I told him, "hey, that sounded like you were sassing me" and gave him until the count of 3 to apologize. It took a month or so, but he stopped. I refuse to be disrespected, especially after seeing how letting that go can really screw up a family (my inlaws!!!) Just the other day, he sassed me for the first time in MONTHS. I said, "hey, did you just sass me?" and he immediately apologized. So it really stuck with him over the past year.
That's all I have experience with, sorry. Good luck getting him to shape up!

My kids respond well to charts that they get to put stickers on. I think your son needs to feel responsible before he will act responsible. Give him two or three jobs a day that you check up on and let him pick out a sticker to put on the chart. At the end of the week or month he gets a reward. (something he really wants, video game?) Discuss with him first what he is 'old enough to do'. He will be very proud of being able to do things. Act surprised and impressed when he says he can unload the dishwasher, or load it(the dishes will still get clean even if it's not done the way you do it) or other things like water the plants, take out garbage, feed pet, wash windows. If he gets excited about his new abilities,ask him what part of it he is most proud of. If you praise his great window job and announce to everybody that he has just washed this window and would everyone be careful not to mess it up.
I hope this helps him to value a job well done and to gain respect for cleanliness. Of course his brother should be on the chart as well. Competition works wonders in my house.
Good luck, maybe you can use some or all of my ramblings.
C.

I have a 5 year old daughter. She is a very strong willed little child. Nothing used to phase her either, UNTIL we enrolled her into a Tai Kwon Doe class. This class is not just about running, jumping and kicking. The Korean instructor is very adamant about respect. So along with the fun in class, outside of class, kids have to learn about responsibility, self-confidence, character, and respect and love. Those are learned in the home. If those are not worked on, then the master can take away the all important belt that the child has worked so hard to attain. Just an idea. It has worked wonders for our daughter. There is a new level of respect in our home and my daughter has pride in the things that she has completed.

Boys are known for waiting until the last minute to "go"..then the don't always have a lot of control where it goes. Make him clean up his own mess. Pet stain & odor remover works best at getting the smell out of carpet and tile. Just be very relaxed about it. He may be doing it to get a reation out of you.

I think I learned one of the best pieces of adive from Ceasar Malan aka the "Dog Whisperer". It was meant apply to the training of dogs, but it also works with kids. " You have to be the leader of the pack and be the Calm Authority". :)

At our house we've even written down what the rules are and what will happen if the rules are broken. That way the kids know what's expected.... & Consistency is Key. (just to let you know, when we first implemented "the List of Rule" things got worse for awhile --- the dear angels had to test us, but we stuck to it and things did eventually get better).

The whole peeing on the toilet is so very normal for a boy ( I have 4 boys and 3 girls) and this is the age where it all happens, get some clorox wipes, keep them by the toilet and have him know that he is to clean around the toilet every time, regardless of whether or not he thinks he missed, their aim gets better as they get older, but not much! And if he doesn't make him stop whatever he is doing and go and do it, patience and persistance is really the key. One other thing I had to do with one of my older ones was I had to make him sit to pee for 2 weeks, cause he did it on purpose.

Time-outs for the sassing work well but they have to be done right and consistantly, there is another post similar to your that explains how to do them. As to the lazyness, that's a little harder some kids are just that way but learning to work within your childs abilities can make a big difference in how you two relate to one another.

Good luck!

Also read responses to my recent post re 5 year old boy's behavior and discipline.

I think you are going to need to make clear changes in your behavior and expectations of him. It's not easy, but I'd suggest a couple of books by Adele Faber to help you - one of them is How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk. I don't remember the name of the coauthor. But this book, as well as some others by the same authors, give really fantastic advice -- very simple and actually easy to implement, I thought, compared to any other parenting books.
Good luck!!!

I know how you might feel, I have a five year old girl and this age can be hard! Have you heard of Love and Logic? They have books and videos and even workshops all around Denver. The library is a good place to start if you are on a budget. If you can swing it the workshps are great and your husband could go to so you are both on the same page. And by the way, time outs don't really work! And no warnings either, just action! I would think the cleaning up would work especially if he has to do it alot. Every kid has something they value: ie a favorite toy, tv time etc. If he won't clean up the pee mess then take his priveledge with his favorite.
And maybe he just needs some attention? And by the way, my boy's pee all over the back of the toilet too, they don't aim very well yet! I have them clean it up and don't make a big deal out of it.

Put cheerios in the toilet and go in there with him. Tell him to hit the cheerios, and if he starts peeing all over, hold it for him. There is a reason God made little people, well, little.

have his dad teach him to aim. use a cheerio

Hi A. i would put him in big boy pull ups and tell him when he can be a big boy he doesnt have to wear them anymore.(and make them girl colored)