36 answers

My 4 Year Old Son Is Obsessed with He Pee Pee and Other Wierd Behavior...

I have a 4 year old son who just tunred 4 yrs old in January. He is always having his hands in his pants and wanting to touch, hold and show his pee pee. He likes pulling on it and just the comfort of holding it. I am always telling him to get his hands out of his pants but he won't stop. He is just now fully potty trained with in the past few months. He doesn't sit down on the potty unless he has to go pooh, he prefers to stand.

2. I can't get him to eat any vegies at all.. he is a very very picky eater. He loves to make a mess but doesn't want to clean it up. He makes a mess all over the house SOLO but wants a team effort in cleaning it all up.

3. He is always falling adn hurting himself some way some how. Just two weeks ago, he fell and hit his head on a side dresser and ended up slightly cutting his ear. I took him to ER, and they glued his ear back together and gave him some butterfly stitches. he was fine the rest of that day. Yesterday when i picked him up from child care, he had a huge scrape on his nose and for head, he was palying and fell face first and got an owie. I have a hard time getting him to pay attention to his surroundings.

4. Last but not least of a mother's concerns, He is 4 and still does't like sleeping by himself. He always says that he is scared and will cry all night if i make him sleep in his own bed. I am working on getting his room re-done so it will be like able for him to want to sleep there. He will play in his room, no problem but sleeping no. He doesn't want to sleep by himself nor go to sleep alone. If he happends to fall alseep in his room, he will wake up in the middle of the night and come into mommy and daddy's bed.

My son a wonderful, smart and very active. He gets along with all kids. He is a wonderful helper when he wants to be.I am working on getting him into preschool. It was hard before because he wasn't fully potty trained, so we are just a little behind, but he should get a good year and some out of preschool when he starts. Are these things normal or is there something wrong with my son. I feel like we are not raising him right or doing something wrong. Any advice???

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What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I just want to say thank you to every one who read this and gave me feed back and advice on what to you. My son is doing great. He doesn't touch his pee pee as much as he use to. Or if he does, he is in his room. He is helping out on keeping his room clean as long as I help him, it's a start, so I am very proud of him. He always wants to help out around the house. He is going to be starting preschool tomorrow and is very excited about it. I notice lately that he is starting to sleep in his room when he falls alseep in there, he still wants to sleep with me and his father, which is ok, but when he feels the courage to, he will sleep in his room. I baught him some spider man night lights for his room and decorated his walls with spiderman as well so he feels more comforatable in his room. Things are improving with us, we have alot of work to do in the future... but What parent doesn't?!.. Thanks again for all your support and help.

Featured Answers

Totally Normal!!! My son is the same age - and we just remind him that his peepee is his private party and it stays in his pants. We don't get mad, laugh no reaction at all.

Does it work? Sometimes. I just gave some advice to another Mom on a different topic - but distraction and getting them moving will help. When the boys are bored, the hand goes right down the pants! :-)

Good Luck.

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Hi, Its easy to think that you are not doing something right when raising children. My son is only two and I am constantly second guessing myself. Luckily I have an amazing sitter who has helped to educate me. She recently recommended a book called 1-2-3 magic by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D. It is such a logical and simple approach to dealing with children. basically it teaches you how to set boundaries and follow through on discipline. And what is really amazing about the book is that it teaches you how to support positive behavior. The book is short and sweet. I hope you can find it helpful. Good luck, D.

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Your son sounds normal to me. I have girls, but I have two nephews. So I hear all of the same things from my sisters. Just the other day my five year old nephew was running around the house yelling "I am the weiner man" and he had no underwear on. My other nephew jumped off the coffee table when he was three because he wanted to fly like Peter Pan (liquid stiches).

I think at around ages 3-5 kids really start figuring out who they are and figuring out that they have choices. I have a 3 1/2 year old girl and she tests me constantly. She will sleep in her room with her older sister, but does end up in my room 3-4 nights a week. Try and stick to a routine and things will eventually work themselves out. Preschool will help, they are so busy learning and playing that nighttime will get easier because he will be exhausted.

As for vegetables, find a couple they like and serve them. Occasionally ask them to try new ones. My girls would live on mac-n-cheese and if I let them.

Most of all - enjoy this time. My oldest is seven and its light years from when she was 4.


2 moms found this helpful

Sounds normal. We didn't want to shame our 4 yr old for touching his body, so we would ask him to go into his room because that's not something you do in front of other people. A few times we had to tell him that its not appropriate, but it wasn't too long before he learned what is socially appropriate. We had the same issue with nose picking......

I have the same trouble with veggies. here's what i've found. He'll eat the snap peas - he likes to open the pods and pull the peas out. He'll eat green beans if i cook them whole then give him ranch to dip. He'll eat broccoli if I bury it in parmesan cheese. Typically, i can get him to eat anything that is a vehicle for ranch or cheese.

As far as sleeping, you might want to try setting a date a few weeks away as the big-boy sleeps alone day. buy new sheets. read bedtime books in there. And if he sneaks into your bed be diligent about returning him to his room even if it is 4 in the morning and you're tired. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi C..
As a mother of 3 boys, and from what you have said, I'd say your son is quite normal. My suggestions would be:
* Go watch other little boys his age (day school, park, where ever). You'll find 80%+ hold their pee-pee's (constantly) for some strange reason. This'll eventually go away. However, the hands in the pants and the showing of his privates should be curbed, at least for social reasons. I'd start by telling him this is ok at home but not in public as these are his 'private parts' and meant to be kept private. NO lecturing or making him feel guilty however -- just redirection.
* Sudden veering off and running into things is also not unusual. You aren't going to be able to teach him out of this. But, he should out grow it within the next year. You may want to consider a team sport, like soccer. It will help him with balance and space awareness.
* As children get older, as one might imagine, it gets harder and harder to get them to sleep by themselves. So starting now is better than continuing to wait. You're on a good track with re-doing his room. Be sure not to have a mirror directly across from his bed (i.e., mirrored closet doors). Feng Shui experts will tell you this is a HUGE no-no that causes A LOT of restlessness. You may want to ask him what his concerns are about sleeping by himself and then solve for those. If it's monsters, look for them together and then let him pick out a protective stuffed animal. If it's he misses you, stay with him for a while, scratch his back, etc. but let him know you'll be leaving and you expect him to stay in his bed. If he does he'll get XXX (whatever the 2 of you decide would be a good reward for his becoming a big boy) -- like pushing the grocery cart, or whatever he enjoys, but, you're always afraid he's too young for, type of thing.
-- Compromise whenever you can. You'll find both parties will be happier.
Good luck -- and no worries; he's 'normal'. :)

1 mom found this helpful

Good morning, It sounds like in my opinion you have a perfectly wonderful NORMAL 4 year old! They All are obsessed with their pee-pees - it often continues into manhood. LOL! Little boys think it's neat and want to do everything they possibly can with it. They want to write their names, shoot it like a gun, hold it, show their friends, ect. As well as raising 3 boys plus 1 I taught preschool for a number of years. They All do the same thing. I have just found to say something like 'we don't do that here' or ' daddy (or whoever)doesn't hold his pee pee in the store.' That they seem to understand. About his falling down, he's probably busy. Alson sometimes they grow and aven though you can't see it, it throws off their balance a bit for a while til they readjust.If you're really thinking it's something serious I would take him to the doctor. Lastly I had to kick mine out of the bed too. He's probably a cuddler. I think you just have to keep sending him back to his own bed. I hope some of this helps.I don't think you should worry too much. Kids do some of the weirdest, funniest stuff you've ever seen it your life! Have a great day!

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HI, C.,
I realize that you probably have enough responses with everyone telling you that your boy is normal. You are doing a great job! Regarding cleaning up, you may want to teach him HOW to clean up. Show him and have him work with you. Then you can tell him he needs to pick up his toys before dinner or before going out, or whatever. In order to not have such a big mess that it becomes overwhelming for him to clean up by himself, you may want to teach him to pick up certain toys before taking others out. Remember, they are little, so this will need to be repeated over and over again! My three year old will ask me for help, too, in cleaning up. Sometimes I help and sometimes I just leave him in his room and tell him to come and get me when he is finished. He will show up about 10 minutes later announcing he is finished.

Regarding the sleep issue...sounds normal, too. My little boys sleep in the bed with us the entire night. My three year old won't go to sleep without me there, unless I am not at home. Then he will sleep without me or my husband present! I don't think it is unusual at this age. We all sleep much better when we are in the same bed. If my son wakes up slightly, he will fall right back to sleep. If he is in his own room and wakes up, he comes running into our room. I think the fact that he feels secure with me at night makes him feel secure and independent during the day. I would personally be against forcing your son to sleep in his own room by locking him in! Imagine if someone did that to you and imagine it was the person you loved more than anyone in the world. It may be tramatizing! I read a book that gave a great suggestion. Set a date and talk about it with your son. When that date comes, you can have his sleep in his bed. if he wakes up at night, you go to his room instead of him coming to yours and then sit next to him in a chair until he can fall asleep. The next night, you move the chair a little farther away and do the same thing. Each nightt, the chair moves farther away until you only have to sit across the room from him for a little bit if he wakes up in the middle of the night. Slowly, he should be able to put himself back to sleep on his own. Eventually, I will train my son to sleep on his own in his own room, but for now, I am enjoying the comfort of my little ones in the bed with me. What a great way for us to snuggle, bond and feel close to one another as we fall asleep! It won't last long!

Regarding veggies...the only way my son eats veggies is Japanese style, so I have no idea what I would have done if I could not have cooked it for him this way! I cook spinach and then add some soy sauce, rice vinegar, bonito flakes and a drop or two of sesame oil. He loves to eat this. I also add lots of spinach and seaweed (wakame) to his miso soup and he devours this as well. Another thing he loves is tempura. I grate cabbage, carrots, green onion and mushrooms and put into a batter mixed together. Then I deep fry and serve with diluted soy sauce. He eats tons of these, as well as deep fried broccolli. I realize deep frying it is not making it healthy, but we do it only once in a while and it's nice to know he can at least enjoy veggies very much. If you are really concerned about getting the nutrients into his body, try getting the book Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld. She talks about how she hides veggies in other things for her kids to eat.

Good luck! If you want any good book recommendations, here are a few I really liked:
Playful Parenting
Between Parent and Child
Positive Discipline for Preschoolers

I found these to help me out quite a bit!
Take care and be easy on yourself!

1 mom found this helpful

All normal but another thing I would do is tell him that when he touches his private parts he has to go wash his hands! Everytime! It's hard enough to get them to wash their hands before meals. It can become a a hassle to him and could make him think twice about it. Also, of course just letting him know you don't want to see it and his has to do it in his room.

1 mom found this helpful

I have a son who turns 4 in August and he also:
1. Plays with his peepee a lot. We have told him he can do that in his room, or when he is by himself, not at the table or when other people are around. Which he accepts.
2. He eats veggies but is picky with other food. He can literally eat pasta always and only if we let him. Never eats potatoes.I would say it is a phase, let him figure it out. And, when he is really hungry before dinner, give him some carrots or cucumber slices, when you are hungry everything goes down.
3. yes, they hurt themselves a lot. But might be good to check his vision, maybe he needs glasses?
4. My son wakes up every second night and wants me to come and sleep in his bed, which I have done a lot. But I have had enough of it, so now, when he screams we tell him to come to our bed.
All kids are different, yours sounds normal I would say. Hang in there, and have fun with him! Play and go to the park after dinner!
Good luck!

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Hi C.!

It sounds like you have a perfectly normal boy in your home :o) Especially when it comes to his "pee-pee". Those things can be VERY fascinating! He just needs to learn that it is private, and not for everyone to see.
His eating sounds normal, too. He'll come around in a year or so.
His sleeping habits seem better than normal, actually. If he EVER falls asleep in his own room, than I consider it a head start already :o)
It sounds like you're doing a great job, and raising a perfectly, normal, and active "boy".

Be patient, and don't worry, he's just fine....he's just a BOY! :o)

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