My 4 Year Old Has Trouble with Personal space.UPDATED

Updated on April 07, 2008
L.R. asks from Voluntown, CT
11 answers

I am new to this site and I am very excited about being able to talk to other moms about my children and hope that we are all going through the same trials being parents and can help each other out...Well my concern right now is about my 4 yr old she is a very bright loving little girl she is attending preschool at the local elemetary school 4 days a week 2.5 hours a day. Her teacher has brought it to my attention (THANKFULLY)that she is concerned with her balance and cordination stating that she bumps into furniture and other children falls constantly and is unaware of personal space and never pays attention to where she is going. I have noticed her with these things also but was clumsy as a child too, so my huband and I thought she was just klutzy. Well the teacher brought in a occupational therapist and she did some tests on her, she told the teacher that there might be some vestibular issues so I already brought her to the eye Dr's who sent her to a Ped's op and we are waiting on that appt she was diagnosed with being near sighted and having astigmatism, I then contacted her Pediatrician and he brought her in did some tests on her as well and said that neurologiacally there was nothing wrong that he could see and that she was slightly pigeon toed in her right leg (going to that specialist next) said her ears looked fine and gave her a antihistamine for any fluid that might be built up.Has anyone ever dealt with this or have any suggestions as to the medical issues? I am grateful that her teacher let me know her concerns and now that we are dealing with it, So if anyone has ever dealt with such situations let me know!!Thanks

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So What Happened?

Roisin thanks for your response the Eye Dr and pediatrician said that her prescription is minimal and should not be causing balance issues nor not being able to see objects being nearsighted means that you are able to see up close but not objects or words, numbers far away.

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R.B.

answers from Denver on

maybe I am missing something here, but if she has vision problems then wouldnt that explain all of her "symptoms"?

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J.W.

answers from Boston on

i agree with the other mamas who have suggested getting your daughter evaluated by an o/t (occupational therapist). my son (who is about to turn 4) used to look like a drunken sailor! we have been in therapy and he is doing great!! he has low tone and sensory issues (vestibular, tactile sensitivities, etc) BUT NO ONE WOULD KNOW!!! i think other moms used to think i was just paranoid - but having been a school teacher - i know that early intervention is the best thing!! the longer you wait - the harder it is to correct. there is a great book called the out of sync child (http://www.out-of-sync-child.com/) that is really helpful! there is so much that can be done to help your daughter if this is indeed what she has - it cannot hurt to get her evaluated so do it now.
feel free to ask me any questions - we've been through it all!! :-)
J.

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K.V.

answers from Boston on

I would take her to a chiropractor to get the foot back in place. This is VERY common with children and a less invasive plan is best.
I, personally think the teacher is a bit over re-active to bring all those folks into test her. I am sure she will grow out of everything you mention, except for the foot, which can be fixed with one visit to the chiropractor!

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I have astigmatism myself and wear glasses to see things far away, but I do not bump into things. If she is having trouble seeing things far away, it should not have anything to do with bumping into things that are right next to her. Did your daughter have the routine eye exam at her three year appointment? What did the doc say then? One another note - Recently, my son was bumping into the doorways and tripping all over his feet. He had a virus and congestion. When the fluid dissipated, he was fine. Something tells me, that if this is something you have always noticed and her teacher (someone who works with many children and knows child development) is concerned, I would keep checking into it.

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R.M.

answers from Boston on

Interesting that her ears were checked and the doctor said they were fine. BUT was her hearing checked? If the doc just looked into her ears and didn't order a hearing test, how can he/she be sure that her ears are fine?
Although I can hear fairly well, I'm very deaf in the right ear. This affects my balance at times. If someone is trying to get my attention and calls my name in a noisy environment, I can not tell from what direction the sound is from.
Human beings actually hear sound in stereo, that's why most turn in the direction of a sound. Have your daughter's hearing checked by an audiologist right away. If she has a hearing loss, a hearing aid might help a great deal.

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I.M.

answers from Boston on

Hello L.,
I am new to Mamasource as well and welcome such dialogue. I too have been in a similar situation with my youngest girl. In preschool when she was 4 her teacher informed us that we may want to have her balanced checked. It came as a surprise to both my husband and I. We just thought Erin was very energetic and always on the move. But she did tend to fall a lot, and like most parents, attributed it to clumziness. She would fall, and then get right back up and keep on running, but her teacher indicated, even when she sat on a chair, she would fall. We wondered if perhaps it could be an issue w/depth perception. At our first Parent/Teacher conference the following September we mentioned this to her new K-1 teacher and she had the Occupational Therapists do an evaluation. Erin has a history of ear infections, so we also thought that may have had an effect on her gate. We evaluated every pair of shoes she wore. And watched her move, especially in crowds. The OT evaluation claimed that she looks down when she was moving. Instead of anticipating what is ahead, when she runs, walks, jumps, etc., her head is down. At first I thought this was rediculous and that they didn't do enough evalating, but as I watched her I did notice, that she wasn't paying attention. She just moved at her own pace and she too didn't give much notice to personal space of other. She is now 7 and doesn't fall as much,still moves a mile a minute, and gets right back up and continues motion. However, now that she is in 1st grade we are now having discussions around concentration and following direction. I'm thankful her teachers are noticing this and seeing warning signs although mild at that. As a parent it keeps me informed and makes me look and work with my child in a way that she will respond. I don't know if this will develop into anything further, however, if it is recognized in 1st grade, at least it will not surface in later grades after she's tried to overcompensate for years and negatively impacts her self esteem. I have come to the conclusion that every child is different. My 9 year old takes things much more slowly and thinks before she acts. I just know that this will not be the same for my youngest.
I wish you luck.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

L.,

Sightly pigeoned toed is nothing to one should wait and see about. I say this because our pediatrician always pointed it out but was not alarmed. I had two daughters like this. They would be standing still on the sidewalk when all of a sudden down they went. If they tried to run across the lawn in a straight line once again they would have to fall several times. Finally I made an appointment with a pediatric orthopedic specialist. Find the best in your area. In Boston Dr. Michelli of Childrens Hospital Orthopedic group is the man.

My daughters legs rotate inward 80 degrees and outward 20 degrees. The normal rotation is outward 80 degrees and inward 30 degrees. Pigeon toed is one way of categorizing this. If this pigeon toed is not corrected before the age of 7 there is nothing the doctors can do. Their little legs are from birth to 7 have loose tendons and muscles that are still attaching and able to be adjusted and coaxed to allow the legs to straighten out.

The pediatrician would miss this. Only a discerning eye would pick this up that treats this day and night. Our solution has been boots attached to a bar at night, figure skating and therapy that coaxes her body to allow her legs to rotate outward not inward. Never let them sit with their legs in a reverse w. always straight or criss cross indian style.

Good luck.

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C.T.

answers from Bangor on

Occupational Therapists are pretty common in todays classrooms, as are Physical Therapists and Speech Therapists.... since early detection is such a BIG stressor and kids are getting the help they need early on.

I'm wondering - why in gods name are you mad!? Your childs teacher did the right thing - and because of it - your child is getting the help she needs. I'd be happy if my sons teacher was concerned about something and talked to me about it. Thats how it should work (instead of the teachers having 25 kids in the classroom and being so overwhelemed they can't notice something going on with just one).

I think, with early detection, your child can get the help she needs, and be taught about personal space so it will no longer be an issue... The joys of early detection!

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M.C.

answers from Boston on

I would take your child for an evaluation at a private OT center like Project CHILLD in Beverly or OTA in Wakefield. These places are amazing and can find and help you with things that the schools will never recognize.

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R.D.

answers from Providence on

I have some experience with children with vestibular issues / OT referrals as my oldest has sensory integration dysfunction and my youngest came to us (we adopted her as a toddler) with vestibular problems - falling, crashing into people/things, spacial awareness issues. I strongly recommend you find an experience OT that can show you simple exercises (hammock swings, heavy pushing/pulling, rocking, etc.) that turn playtime into exactly what your daughter may need. A few targeted play areas around our house made all the difference and while our son will probably always need an OT (he is autistic), our daughter has now incorporated everything she needs into playtime and is doing remarkably well...her body awareness is great and coordination is so much better! Good luck!

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T.D.

answers from Boston on

Hi L.,

I am a pediatric physical therapist. Your daughter has all the classic signs of slightly low muscle tone and sensory integrative dysfunction. She needs a full sensory integration evaluation as soon as you can manage it. If you can't get one through the school, there are centers where you can go, and I believe if you have a referral from your doc most insurances will cover the evaluation and subsequent treatment. These evals are usually done by a certified SI therapist (most often an OT) There are lots of things that can be done in therapy sessions to help your little one, but most importantly they'll give you strategies to help her at home and for her classroom setting as well. Don't wait. If you are local to the Merrimack Valley, contact me through MamaSource and I'll get you the names of 2 wonderful local centers where you can get what you need. Good luck!

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