My 3 Year Old Son Needs to Gain Weight

Hi A., I was given the following number from Early Intervention in NJ for a feeding evaluation for my daughter: 1-888-244-5313 ext. 2214. If you live in NJ maybe they can help you. Good luck.

Try to get an evaluation by a swallowing specialist, to see if he is a candidate for therapy to teach him to swallow. Good luck.

Grandma C.

These meal shakes are very good for children and you can added the powdered vitamin to get him adequate nutrition while you continue to sort this out.

http://www.shaklee.net/healthmatters4u/product/ChildrensH...

You can also make it with less milk to get a pudding like consisitency. See the website to see how you can make this a 330 calorie meal or snack. Several of these should help get his weight up. Once he has adequate nutrition, then you can try some of the other things to move him to the different consistencies.

L.

First of all, let me say that my son has a g-tube and it is awesome. I know it is not ideal but it has helped my son so much. He also struggles with weight gain. He has hat his tube since he was 3 months old. He's now almost 3 and is just learning to eat purees orally. We add a calorie supplement called benecalorie. It is available online without an Rx but I would talk with his doctor first. It is a liquid supplement that has 330 calories in 1.5 ounce. We add it to his purees and he has no idea it is there. Aer you pureeing full meals? We have a vita-mix blender that will puree anything, even steak, to a smooth consistancy. We are able to give him everything we eat this way. The most important thing I can tell you about the tube is to not let the doctors tell you that you have to give him formula. Look into a blenderized diet where you put blended whole foods through the tube. It changed our lives! I have so much more info on this topic and I'd love to share it with you if you are interested.

**I will say that my son has CHARGE syndrome and until recently it has not been safe for him to eat because of aspiration. He gets speech and occupational therapy to help him with eating. I felt that several of the other posters were way too harsh! If you make him give up his purees cold turkey or if h thinks you are mad at him because of eating you may loose what little eating skills he has. If eating has a negative connotation then he may refuse to eat at all and that won't help either of you. Try to get him some therapy and try to gradually introduce new textures. The fact that you are trying to save your son from a tube makes you a good mom.

Hey mom,

It sounds as if your son might have Food Aversion.
You should try and do a yahoo search on the best techniques and therapies.

I suggest:

why not graduate to regular apple sauce, its not as fine but he may enjoy it.

Creamed spinach.
creamed corn,
rice pudding.
smoothies.

These are foods that have a slightly more grainy texture.
but still smooth.

Next get a water table,
and put Foods into it and have him touch them each day.

If he likes chocolate, give him that,and Nutella is spreadable chocolate.
if its cookies give him them every day. to build his tolerance and encourage diffrent textures.

Take him to the beach, and let him play with the sand.

Buy him rock candy, and let him feel the texture.
try pop rocks candies and let him hear them crackle

Put Wintergreen life savers in your mouth , turn off the lites and bite them ( they spark and he might want to try)

BRIBE him and PUSH HIM, reward him and praise him when he tries new foods.

The real trick is to try and eliminate stage 2 foods all together.

If he has the strong gag reflex, then sit there and feed him one spoon full at a time even if it take and hour.
teach him to chew the foods really well. till they are mushy.

Show him how the foods break down with water.

Do not let him move from his chair til he eats,
NO playing
NO TV No books.

BE FIRM,

MOM,

If this were my child I would not rest until he broke.
and took a bite, even if he puked all over me, I would keep at it, until he ate.

If he started gagging, I would say in a very harsh voice,
STOP DON't you dare throw up, and I would say it like I was angry.

BUT bottom line , NO matter how much he gagged and puked I would not give him the pured foods.

eventually he'd have to eat and learn to eat.
and its your job to push him.

The fact that they are considering a feeding tube means this is serious.
and he could DIE.

And the way I look at it, is if you are afraid he will Choke to death, DON"T he is already dying from starvation.

which is almost torture,a slow and long process

Hopefully your 2 year old daughter is on regular foods now,
IF NOT now is the time to start.
or she will also end up having the same problems.

If I sound harsh , I am sorry but, this is your childs life.
you hold it in your hands.

FORCE HIM to eat.and eventually he won't gag any more.

it could take weeks. but eventually he will give in.
Especially if you take away the stage 2.

And worst case scenario is he has to be put on a feeding tube. and unfortunately you are already there.

I wish you the best of luck.

M

Would he drink an EGG NOG? In a blender mix an egg, milk, sugar to taste, and a drop of vanilla. You might also add some powdered malt, and/or banana. I don't know for sure if this will make him gain weight, but it is certainly nourishing.

Hi A.,
I feel your pain and fear. My son really struggled with texture and weight gain. In the end, I think he just wasn't ready yet for textures and needed time, just like every kid walks when they are ready. As parents we often like to think that we can control these things. If it could only be so...
I am not a nutritionist or a doctor, but with all I have been through with our son I feel 99.9% sure that your son's weight and aversion to texture has nothing to do AT ALL with the atmosphere you establish or what you feed him. Is your son in feeding therapy? I agree that is likely what he needs, or some medical evaluation, if you haven't already gone that route. Hopefully with feeding therapy you will also feel much better and have help, instead of trying to solve this all on your own. Stay strong, and good luck. And if it does come down to a feeding tube, it will be because you have tried everything else and it is what your son needs to get well, so you can mentally prepare yourself for the possibility. Also, I am pretty sure that there are tubes that allow continued feeding so you don't have to lose the feeding skills he does have. I know it is not ideal, but plenty of kids need this at some point, and do just fine. There are tons of blogs and support groups to prove it. You will get through this I promise!!

I am not a huge fan of medical intervention when it's not needed, however perhaps the benefits of a feeding tube outweigh the risks in your case. Perhaps do some reading on success stories of parents who have implemented them to boost your confidence and assuage your fears. it might also help your son grow some confidence in eating. I would imagine that he would be kind of afraid of eating with all the issues surrounding it.

I don't think its as simple as finding things for him to eat. He needs feeding therapy.

My 2-1/2 year old son is also in the 1 percentile and very picky when it comes to eating. Certainly not as severe, but we give him lots of high-calorie somewhat healthy dips/humas with crackers or veggies for snacks or even meals (maybe your son would just use the veggies to dip and just suck off the dip?) He'll also drink yogurt after dinners - he's a big fan of straws. Also, about an hour before bed we make him a Pediasure ice cream milk shake - Hagan Das has a lot of calories. We also try to make lunch a big meal since he naps right after and doesn't burn off the calories.
He still drinks whole milk, and quite a lot of it. We learned that if he won't eat dinner-food for dinner, then healthy snack food usually works. He also loves eggs so we'll have breakfast for dinner sometimes - green eggs may also work for you. Scrambled up they're pretty soft (my 9 month old likes them). How about meatballs that are cooked too long and are falling apart (another hit for my baby)? She also likes chicken pot pies. She won't eat the chicken, but the veggies are super soft and the sauce can be eaten with a spoon. Canned Spagettios may also work since they're super soft.
Good luck to you. We learned that when we stopped worrying so much about serving lunch foods at lunch time it got easier.

A.,

One good fruit that has fat and is soft (can cube but it smushes very easily) is Avocado. Try it plain or add stuff to it (you might need to go specific for your son.) Mango isn't fatty (that I know of) but it is high in trace minerals and lots of other stuff.

Is he active? Is he burning off everything right after he eats it?

Have you talked to another pediatrician for a second opinion?

One thing we added for my son was pancakes - and he eats these right before bed. We make them no sugar and with olive oil.

You might make an exception about food before bed so he isn't burning it off right away. Full fat ice cream might be another good idea.

The only other idea is just plain fatty foods - no they are not healthy, but they'll put a little weight on.

If your son is burning off food as fast as he eats it, more meals and/or more snacks would be the way to go.

Mostly though, I would go with the second opinion. If he's happy and hitting all his other mile stones (language, etc) this might just be a stage.

Good luck,
M.

We had a similar situation with out son though not as severe. Our son also threw up a lot and was underweight. We sought the advice of a nutritionist and found this to be very helpful. As in another response you received the nutritionist recommended Nutella because it is very high in calories. She did NOT recommend forcing him to eat or getting angry with him. Her advice was to ignore the behavior as much as possible because a lot of times it is about control with children this age, especially boys. She also said that once children go a while without eating regularly their natural appetite turns off so you have to find ways to turn it back on and the best way to do this is to let them eat what you know they like instead of trying to introduce new things at this time. If you haven't already, go and see a professional nutritionist who specializes in children's eating issues. It has taken a lot of patience but we have made a lot of progress. In three months our son has gained 2.5 lbs. One of the recommendations that was hard for me to do but proved successful was, when he throws up in his plate or at the table, ignore it and go about eating your food. Don't bring any attention to the fact he has thrown up. Leave it until the rest of your family has eaten your meal. When the nutritionist recommended this I thought she was crazy but like I said, it proved successful as he stopped throwing up after a few times of this. Good luck to you. I know how worried and frustrated you are but it will get better.

I think you should have your son get an evaluation at Childrens Specialized Hospital (outpatient center) the phone # is 888-childrens. they have a few locations. They have OT's that specialized in food evaluations. They can help your child start eating "different" textured foods. They deal with a lot of kids that have severe reflux. Hope this helps. You might have a while to wait before being seen.

I know their are therapies out there than help with feeding issues.. I think you see a speech therapist but not sure.. talk to your doctor to see if that's a possiblity before resorting to a feeding tube. good luck!

Hi A.,
I'm sorry that you have this problem with your son. Have you seen a pediatric nutritionist? That's where I'd go for recommendations and a diet plan. Good luck!

For under $3 a serving (an adult serving; a child would be less), you can give your son one of the most nutritious protein drinks in existence. The formulator, John Anderson, won a Congressional Medal for his work in nutrition. I'd be happy to fill you in - you can email me at ____@____.com.

HI, A. my daughter was the same way, because she was born premature. However, I purchased a baby food blender from "babies r us" and I blended everything for her, from chicken to patatoes. The blender is designed to blend foods to a pureed consistancy, after that I started giving her regular "ensure plus," she is now 5 years old and almost 50 lbs. I hope this helps, I know what you are going through.

N.

try stoneyfield whole milk yogurt--has a little more fat and calories in it and give him full fat ice cream.

I know how difficult it can be when you are dealing with these type of issues. However in some cases I have seen first hand that this is nothing more then a power struggle. I have had two children come to my childcare center with the same problems. One actually had a feeding specialist come for therapy. I am very old school and told the parents we were going to take a hard line with this and they have trusted my staff and I enough to give it a try. A few times of them gagging and puking and us just being firm and consistent with them turned them completely around. I would have the teachers dice the food into very tiny pieces and just leave it on their tray. Walk around tend to other children. Once the child realizes that no attention will be brought to them and no other food is being offered they began eating. Now they are eating everything the other children eat. I even have the one child holding onto an entire chicken nugget uncut and taking bites on his own. I also have a kindergarten student who would literally shake when he would be encouraged to try something new. His anxiety towards food was heartbreaking. His menu was so limited because mommy would make him ten different things just to get him to eat. She did not realize that even though she had good intentions she was a part of the problem. I would talk him through each bit reassuring him that nothing was going to happen to him. From September to the present time he eats all school lunches, breakfasts, and snacks when he wouldn't even touch the school food in the past. Children are great manipulators and as parents sometimes we feed into it. I think you should try to relax yourself first and begin offering tiny, tiny, pieces of food on a tray. Walk away do not hover, remain calm, do not get upset, if he doesn't eat take him out of the highchair and do not give him the pudding or baby food. When he realizes you mean business and gets hungry enough he will eat. It may be difficult as his mom to do it so maybe you can get someone else who is not so sensitive to the situation and he may do better for them. I am in no way blaming you or saying it is your fault. I am merely saying that as a mommy we never want to see our kids sad, hungry, or sick so he could be playing off of your emotions and anxiety. It's worth a try and it is surely better then a feeding tube. Good luck!!

NYU Hospital has a Swallowing Disorders Center and several of the specialists there specialize in children's feeding issues. It sounds like your son has hypersensitivity in the mouth area, and he could probably benefit from some therapy. At this Center, they can work with your son on massaging/stimulating the inside of his mouth and to slowly introduce some soft solids. They can also direct you to medical specialists to determine if there is a medical reason (food allergies? inflamed esophagus? severe acid reflux, tongue issues, etc.) why your son can not tolerate table foods. There are also other occupational therapists and speech therapists who specialize in feeding issues. Also, have you tried mashed avocado? You can start by mashing it into his food. It is high in good fat and calories and has very little flavor.

First thought, stay away from butter. It is not good for anyone in large amounts, or little amounts throughout the day!! This will only cause other health problems you do not want to deal with.

I would ask you pediatrician about his gag reflex and if there is anything he can do about it medically, or if you have to teach him to eat things with chunks. This was your responsibility long ago!

He should definately be completely off of jarred baby foods and pureed foods! He is too old for this baby treatment and is spoiled by you by letting him get away with this. The pudding, ice cream and yogurts are a going to be a power struggle, but he needs to be off of them also.

Yogurts are good, but not all day and cannot be the source of his nutrition, you are starving him. Pudding and ice cream are good for desserts, after he eats a good dinner, but not because he wont eat anything else.

You need to be the parent and step up and make sure he is eating healthy. If he is only 22 1/2 lbs at 3 years old, he is not healthy!

Start with oatmeal. All stores will carry Quaker Oatmeal and Oats and store brands, if you want them cheaper, and they are flavored; maple and brown sugar, cinnamon roll, and lots of others, and fruits and cream. Try this, they are healthier than pudding and ice cream. You can make your own oatmeal, I used a little bit of brown sugar and raisins and cooked it like is says on the package for my children. They loved it.

Lunches, my kids like mac and cheese, the noodles should be soft enough so he doesnt gag. I knew someone who added small chunks of spam and frozen peas to hers. I dont like it but my kids loved it.

Don't forget peanut butter and jelly!! Peanut butter is very nutritous. Serve it with milk.

You need to try things that he needs to eat. If it is too "lumpy" smash it up with a fork or spoon, do not puree it. He needs real food, grown-up people food, not baby foods.

He will probably use his gag reflex to convince you he cannot eat it, since thats what he's been doing all along, keep feeding him these foods. he will eat eventually. Do not give in and give him ice cream!!
Be a parent.

What has the doctor said to help train his gag reflex? I would think there would be 1) a medical reason why this is and perhaps a medical fix to it (surgery of some kind perhaps?) and 2) aren't there therapists he/she can recommend to help you help your son get past this? I know a woman online whose toddler was a victim of Shaken Baby Syndrome and he had to eat baby food and the like to help him learn to swallow food again. I would think the hospital or your doctor should have someone they can recommend who does this for a living and knows what helps the children the best. Poor guy!! I can't imagine being 3 years old and unable to eat real table food!! Is he just not chewing his food enough or taking too big of bites? :(

I do hope you keep us posted.

OMG!! I just read the first advice you got. Good gracious please don't read that and do anything that she says!! While some children may be doing it on purpose, you don't say if you know if that is the case where it is for spite or your son has a real medical condition. I am shocked you got such harsh advice and really pray that person's child doesn't go through anything like yours is. God help him if he does. :(

Pediasure is not healthy. Any foods with sugar shouldn't be given to him. He needs veggies and fruits and protein. Sounds like he's on a very high carb diet which will lead to problems. By the way I just read that the Massai warriors ate 1.5 pounds of butter a day and they are far from fat. It's a myth that eating fats (if they are good fats and no the processed, hydrogenated fats) will make you fat. Just make sure that all his food that you're pureeing is really healthy food. Start investigating various protein powders--you get what you pay for--and until you solve the problem at least he'll be getting some nutrients.

I also think that seeing a specialist would be a good idea. Perhaps it seems to some like a power struggle but I can remember even as teenager being forced to eat foods that would make me gag. I eventually learned to swallow them whole like pills because I couldn't stand the texture in my mouth. Sometimes I'd go through 3 big glasses of milk at one meal. Not healthy! My parents grew up with war and hunger so they believed in not giving choices and "you eat what's on the table" so they meant well but I hated them for it at the time. Food should be pleasurable, not a horrible event.

Amino acids are what make muscle grow so look for shakes high in amino acids. I wonder if he may be allergic to some foods as well. My daughter had problems with eating and she turned out to allergic to almost all the foods that she didn't want to eat. My friend's daughter ended up getting her colon removed. Her dad is a nutritionist and made her eat "healthy" foods but they tore her colon apart. She always said they didn't make her feel good and it was too late by the time they found out what was wrong. She was REALLY skinny. So was her Mom as a child. My doctor told me that children know better than we do what they should and shouldn't eat (except for addictive junk foods!). Give us an update some time please!

Did you ask the doc about protein powders? You can add the powder to yogurt smoothies or ice cream shakes.

Try mashed potato with cheese or maybe some of the pureed soups like lentil or pea.