My 20 Month Old Son Still Needs a Bottle at Bed Time.

Hi J.,
I didn't read the other responses yet, but here is how I feel about it. There is nothing inherently wrong with a bed time bottle (or sippy cup - same thing IMO, just a different "nipple"), but if it is causing sleep problems (like not sleeping through the night), then you need to address that part of it. The bottle can be a part of his bed time routine, but do not actually put him to bed with it. If he takes milk, make sure he brushes his teeth after the bottle before he goes down for the night. And, when he wakes and asks for more, do not give into him. Just tell him milk is all gone, it's time to sleep, pat his back, tell him you love him and leave the room. You are right, continuing to give him bottle throughout the night (even water) is just encouraging him to continue waking on schedule. Somehow you got into a habit of that (it is easy to do). So, time for you to break the habit (he's not going to do it on his own). He needs to learn to put himself to sleep. I would move the bottle earlier in your bedtime routine so that he is not taking it to bed with him, and definitely no more in the middle of the night (this may take some sleep training techniques -- I have some advice on that too of you need it).

My youngest son is also 20 months sold, and he has an eight ounce bottle of milk every night after bath. At this age it is still very important for them to get enough whole milk (about 16 ounces a day) becasue they need the extra fat for their brain until age 2. My son drinks milk form a regular cup (no sippy) at meal and snack times, but I feel he still need that extra eight ounces a day, and the only way he will drink a full eight ounces is from a bottle. When he turns 2, I will switch from the bottle of milk, to a light snack and a few sips of water after bath as the same part of our routine. I did the same with my now 3 year old. Didn't cause any problems with potty training for us. He goes potty right before bed anyway, and has never had problem staying dry.

When you do decide to go off the bottle completely, cold turkey (in my experience) is the best way. One night after bath, you have him throw a bottle in the garbage, say bye- bye ba-ba, and then sit him down and offer the snack and let him know that now he is a big boy and big boys get snacks, not ba-bas. I did this with my 3yo on his 2nd birthday, and he was very accepting of it. He is all about anything that makes him a big boy. He did ask for it a few times after that, but I just kept reminding him that only babies get ba-bas, and stuck to it.

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J.,
I would definately go cold turkey off of the bottle. It's not good for his teeth and he's really too old to still be using one.
Try throwing out every single bottle so that you will not be tempted to give in.
Give him a sippie cup instead. It may take a few days for him to adjust, but just tell him that the bottles are all gone now.
Take Care,
T. (mom of 4)

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Hi J., I'm a cold turkey kinda mom. I have 3 kids & w/all 3 I stopped giving them bottles on their 1st birthdays. Since your little guy is older I would say to have him participate in getting rid of the bottle. I did this w/the pacifier, I had each child put all their pacifiers together and "give them away". My 1st son gave them to his baby brother and my 2nd son gave them to the babies in his preschool. Then they got a prize for being so nice to others. Have your son give his bottle to a baby and he can choose any toy he wants(w/in reason). I say use what works, talk to him about it, tell him he only has 1 more week w/the bottle b4 whatever character he likes(Diego, Thomas) has to come pick up the bottle, but they promise to leave a prize for the big boy. I hope this helps, good luck!

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Hi J.,
Our sons are almost 3 & 4 yrs old and we still gives them bottles sometimes at bed ( we are watching the amounts of liquid for potty traing) and sometimes in the morning when they wake up, because we want them to have fluids before they go to school and they drink them faster. They drink from all kinds of cups and we just don't care. If they are happy then fine with us. Their teeth are fine and we only fill the tall bottles half way or less at bedtime. Just enough to soothe them sometime. So don't worry, just explain to him that he only gets one bottle at bedtime or if he isn't overwetting at night, give him like two ounces, he won't know. Or you could put some ice in one and it will melt over the night. Good luck and god bless. L. Z.

My son (16 mos) would do the same thing with pacifiers. He only took one at night, and when he woke up in the middle of the night I would have to go in and give it back to him so he could go back to sleep. When I finally decided to get rid of them, it only took a few days for him to adjust and now he goes to sleep and stays asleep just fine. The first thing you need to do is be strong and firm in your resolution. At this age your son doesn't NEED the bottle; he wants it and knows if he has a meltdown he'll get it. To keep yourself strong you would have to throw all the bottles away on trash day, so they are gone and you cannot breakdown and give in to his crying. Second, be loving and firm with him when he is having the meltdown and just keep telling him that the bottles are gone and he is a big boy now. My friend had a similar issue with her daughter and allowed her to have a sippy cup with a little water in it in her bed with her all night; that way when she woke up thirsty, or just wanted the cup, she would already have it and she could be independent in putting herself back to sleep. You son will learn to soothe himself back to sleep if you stay strong and firm in your decisions as his parent; teach him as his parent you know best. Good luck! :o)

Good day,
My personal experience with all my children is we had to make them go Cold-Turkey, but I took each one to the store to pick out their new cup/water jug. One still took it kinda hard, but I explained that there were thousands of nasty lil germs so we had to throw it out! So she wanted a new one; and I told her that she was getting to be a big girl and she soon found her "jug" was an excellent replacement! GOOD LUCK...
Truly,
Kathy N.

He's going to have to learn how to soothe himself back to sleep without a bottle eventually, why not now? Teaching children, even at his age, how to become more independent is what parenting is about. You're delaying his own independence by giving him that bottle that he doesn't need.
I know it's really hard to hear him cry when you know exactly what would stop it. That bottle is just as much your crutch as it is his. If the bottles are not in the house anymore, neither of you can give in and keep up the cycle.
As most of the other moms said, it will take a few nights for him to really get it, but once those few are over with it may only take a gentle reminder a couple times and that issue will be over and done with.
You'll figure out what you're willing to do to raise your own son. And no one can tell you that you're wrong for it. The only time it really becomes a problem is when you feel like it's a problem. Moms know. You asked for help, so you must be feeling like he doesn't need to be doing this anymore. Go with your instincts. Trust yourself. Kids respond much better to a confident parent. Good luck and enjoy your baby!

I have four kids and as long as it is water, it is not a problem. I would make sure he is getting enough to drink during the day; my guess is that he is playing too hard and forgetting to drink enough liquids during the day; hence the waking up at night.Think about it, when you don't drink enough during the day, you wake up at night thirsty At his age, breaking this habit may become a battle of wills. This is what I would recommend.
1st, make sure he is drinking enough during the day. Take 2 days to make sure he is rehydrated.
2.Now cut off extra water at night.
3. if after 4-5 days of no extra water, you want to cut off the bottle, do it now. I picked my battles; is this something you want to battle about? If you are up to it, now is the time, otherwise, I would wait until he is over 2, and understands a little more. You know when they are manipulating you.

Our Dr. suggested we have 3 different cups. One for juice, one for water and one for milk - that way there is an association with a cup as to what they will be getting when they take a sip. This worked very well for us. At dinner our daughter got her milk cup (a large sippy cup), then the routine of bath, books and bed. NO sippy cup of milk in bed - only water cup. They need to learn to eat when it's time to eat. It took 3 nights and she was fine with it. We started on a Friday night to make it easier on us. GOOD LUCK. It's about the routine and staying with it!

Throw the bottle away. You say he will take a sippy cup all day long but will demand the bottle at night. I hate to state the obvious, but he is getting his way each and every time you give in and give him what he wants. At 20 months old, he shouldn't be getting up because he is thirsty. You are doing good to only offer him water but tell him the bottles were taken by the bottle fairy and he can only have a sippy cup. Will he melt down? He might but IF you ignore his melt down, he will realize that mommy means business and he'll soon learn that having temper tantrums will not yield him the positive outcome he was hoping for. Remain firm. He's old enough to understand. Just don't give in once you tell him no. It sends mixed messages and mommy and daddy are always supposed to have the last word. Good luck.

Just don't give it to him! My boys were 1 when we threw away the bottles. It's really not as hard as you may think.

My advice would be to wean him off that night bottle, though I'd probably go with a more cold turkey attitude than weaning. What you have to remember to do is replace that bottle with another comfort item. He's associating the bottle with sleeping, otherwise he'd want it day-long. This has become his routine and you're breaking his routine. Encourage him to associate something else with sleeping - be it soft music, a twinkling night light, a cuddly blanket or stuffed object with a special name. In the long run it will help night-time toilet training as well, because you're priming him to stay dry. :) You're never too young to luv the feeling of a dry behind in the morning! ;) Good Luck!

Hi, J.. Well, first of all, your son is not even 2 years old yet, so I wouldn't worry about him being "too old" for the bottle. He's not quite done being a baby yet.

Why fight with him about it, since it's not going to hurt him at all? His sleep -- and yours, too -- is way too important to mess around with. EVERY child has some kind of comfort behavior before and/ or during sleep, so I would just go with the flow. If you are giving him water only, then you are doing the healthy thing and not letting him go to sleep with any kind of foodstuff soaking his teeth. And you're not endangering his teeth by having a pacifier pushing against them -- that's not a huge concern anyway until a year or two down the line. Thus, there is no medical or dental concern to worry about, so I would just let him have the bottle.

If he's doing the sippy cup all day, he's probably enjoying being a "big boy," so he should soon be ready to give up the bottle all by himself. But don't stress over when he'll do it or how long it will take. In fact, I would just smile and silently enjoy this last little piece of his babyhood, because he'll never be a baby again. ( :

Peace,
Syl

My Daughter was like that too. We let her give her bottle to her Baby cousin (not really but it was for her to see they were out of the house) and we then let her buy a night time cup. Then at night we would put about 1/3cup of water in it and right before she went to sleep she could have a sip and then we left it in her room and told her if she gets thursty its right here. All along praising her for being such a big girl. Now she goes down with Nothing. Works like a charm. At 20 months you may want to try going to a sippy cup then a big boy cup. But make him a part of it. Don't just take the bottle and hand him a new cup. let him pick it out from the store. Trust me, Its a big deal! Good luck...

J.,
Any time you are breaking a habit a child is going to cry and have fits. If you want him to be able to sooth himself back to sleep then you're going to have to take the bottle away. We went through the same deal with the binki and it's no fun, but the end result is great. Several nights of crying and so forth and you're done. I'm sure the ped would tell you that it isn't good for his little teeth either, even though it is water. Or maybe not... ask your dr and if they say it's not biggie, then take it away on your own terms. I have a friend that only nursed her son at bed until he was about 18 months. Try giving him an empty bottle or put something bitter in it. I know that sounds awful, but you never know.
God Bless,
R.

I understand what you are going through. My son did the same thing but the funny thing was that he would not ask for it if we were out and about and he was fine with the zippy cup. If we were at home he would ask for it.

My husband and I decided to give him the zippy cup for dinner time with the milk and that way he is still getting his portion of milk but just not at bedtime. This has been working out very good because he has gotten used to it. You need to be persistant. It wont happen overnight but it will work after a week or so. Remember that everything the kids do is testing their surroundings.

Good Luck!!

My 65 year old mother-in-law and my 32 year old husband both take a glass of water to bed with them and keep it on the nightstand. I don't see the difference. As for your son being "too old" for a bottle, I know that the prevailing medical opinion is that babies should give up the bottle at 12 months. However, it is perfectly okay for a baby to breastfeed "as long as he desires". What is the difference? Since you are giving water, let him have it and move on to more important battles.

My son is now 30 months, we let him have water in a bottle until he was 2. Then we replaced the water in a bottle with water in a sippy cup. My son sweats a lot, including at night and I'm sure he needs the water for fluid replacement, same as my husband....

Good luck! C.

I'm just curious as to what's wrong with that? If he needs that bedtime bottle then give it to him. He'll break out of that habit soon enough so why traumatize him cold turkey. What scale are you concerned about meeting? Or is it that someone else's child doesnt take a bottle anymore and you feel the need to keep up with the Jones's? I mean really you are smart enough to only give him water for the safety of his precious little teeth and I totally agree with you on that but I dont know why you want to take away his comfort. I mean really he is not even 2 years old yet. He is still a baby. I may not have the answer for you and I am sure a dentist will chime in on the dangers of teeth rot, but as for myself,I have learned not to sweat, or stress myself or my baby out over the small stuff and I just wanted to share. Good luck with whatever you decide to do for your precious baby. Take Care and God Bless.

Switch to a sippy cup and water in his bottle is ok. It is ok to have something to comfort you at night and water is great for you. Plus, he may really be thirsty.

Hi. Try giving him yogurt or a yogurt drink before bed. It will help to keep him full.

I have a friend who was having issues with potty training who used an interesting tactic. She told her daughter that all the diapers were gone, and she excepted that. Now granted she was older than your son, but you could try. My only concern would be the message being sent to him by giving in to his "meltdown". Ultimately he has to know that he doesn't run the household, you do.

Suggestion: Throw the bottles out. All of them.
Suggestion #2: Review your sleep training.

He doesn't NEED a bottle at all. He just wants it. As for waking up twice at night asking for it... be careful. It is very easy to lose ground in "the sleep wars". Kids go through phases with waking at night. If he is normally a good sleeper at night then this too shall pass, probably pretty quickly. But if you inadvertently encourage it, you might be back to getting up twice a night (and maybe more) for a long time. Tread carefully with that.
Just switch the water to a sippy cup and leave it in his bed with him if you really want him to have it during the night. Let him know it is there before you put him in bed for the night.
Good luck.

at 20 months--just throw those bottles away--and show him that you are doing it. Tell him--bottles are going "bye-bye." And then really throw them away so you aren't tempted to use them either!
Realistically, he shouldn't need anything to drink before bedtime, --since this will only undermine potty training when you start, and is bad for his teeth.
Just remember, just because he demands something doesn't mean he should get it--you are the parent. Stick with you guns-because this is one of many things you will need to say "no" too as he grows!
So incorporate a nice bedtime routine without the bottle (we like to do bath, brush teeth, get pj's on, then a couple of stories) then night-night. He may cry, but it will only be for a few nights and each night will get better if you stick to your guns and don't give in. Letting him cry will NOT traumatize him or hurt him in anyway. You know what is best for him, and you know he needs to drop the bottle. :)
Good luck, I have found that I'm always afraid of transitioning my child to something else (dropping bottle, moving from crib to bed, etc.) but once we decide to do it--it only takes a couple of nights for him to adjust...

My pediatrician told us at 12 months to take the bottle away totally. We thought she was crazy, but b/c my husband was an MD, too, we followed orders. Our daughter was not happy. I was not happy, but with the help of my husband, we were all fine. She had her meltdowns when she was thirsty. After half a day she would take a drink out of the sippy cup and then throw it down. But we were just as persistent and kept handing it to her. After 2 days, she didn't say anything more about a bottle was weaned off. So persistence, encouragement and teamwork...your baby (and you) will be fine. Good luck!

at my son's 12M check up the dr. said ok time to throw away all the bottles and go to sippy cups. well by that time my son was already drinking water/juice from a sippy cup so as soon as i put milk in the sippy and he drank it without any problems i threw away the bottles and never looked back.
so now and ever since then my son has his sippy of milk before bed each nite.
get rid of all the bottles and do NOT buy anymore :)
that is my advice.
D.