17 answers

My 2 Year Old Sleeps with Me!

First of all, I like sleeping with my daughter for the time being. She has been doing so for several months now. It started out with her having to sleep with me the first night back from her daddy's. It progressed to every night. Being single, I don't care right now about her being in my bed. I don't plan on getting into a relationship for a while. But I know that I eventually have to get her out of my bed. She can climb out of her crib so I am going to buy her a toddler bed soon but I know that when she wakes up she will either cry or get up and come to mama's bed. I have no idea how to approach this. I know she is comfortable with me. She likes to snuggle and likes to wrap my arms around her tight while we are going to sleep and I love this feeling. As hard as it is going to be for me to let go, I have to teach her to let go too I know. Thanks in advance for your help!

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Thank you so much for all of your responses! It really helped me put things into perspective. I have been so worried about what other people think but most of you are right. Both Jaye and I love this arrangement and there is no real reason to change things at this time. I will remember ya'lls advice though when it comes time to move her out. I appreciate everyone's help!

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You are indeed not alone. My 2yr old daughter has been sleeping with me for the last year. I'm trying to transition her to her own room but I have had no success. I'm getting ready to move in a few months with my soon-to-be husband. He doesn't mind that my daughter has to sleep with us but something has got to change. So maybe if you have any success, you can pass it on to me.

I also love to snuggle with my 2 year old while she goes to sleep. I think it is a great way to bond especially because I'm at work most of the day and also have a 4 month old. This is my dughter and I's time together. We lay down in her bed though so that I can get up when she goes to sleep (or when the other baby wakes me up). Sometimes she sleeps the rest of the night in her bed and sometimes she comes to sleep with me and my husband. I just feel like when she is ready, she will sleep in her room all the time. Hope that helps

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Hi C.,

Personally, I don't blame you. Although I am married, when my son was little (up to the age 4) I would read to him everynight in his bed until we both fell asleep. Really there is nothing as snuggly!! And now my daughter is 4 and again I still read with her everynight, pet her little forehead and snuggle with her till she falls alseep. Many people including my husband have really given me a hard time about this.

What I have always done, is crawl out of their bed in the middle of the night or when I get an elbow or knee in the face!

What I did with my son and with now my daughter is let them know that our bedroom door is always open to them if they need us.

If I were you, I would simply start by talking to you daughter about her room. Get her all pumped up and excited about the bed that you are going to buy her, "Her Very Own Big Girl Bed"! Then create some fun bed time routines, like reading singing, and saying prayers with her and her dollies. Maybe even have her tuck her dollies or babies in their bed. Let her know that your door is always open for her if she needs you. As well, let her know that on special nights you will still have slumber parites in mom's room.

It won't happen over night and who cares! She will only be your baby girl once. And I promise you, she will be too big soon enough to event want to sleep with you!! Just start laying the foundation with excitement about her bedroom, fun bedtime routines and by letting her know that big girls sleep by themselves in their own room.

When push comes to shove down the road, put her on a reward system. Example: If she goes to sleep in her rooom for 5 nights in a row, then she gets a reward! Simple rewardslike, a new princess movie or pizza dinner. Note, at 2 she won't exactly get the reward thing yet!

In the mean time, enjoy your precious baby girl! She'll grow up quick!!!

1 mom found this helpful

My 2 year old sleeps with me too!!!. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Being a single mom I think of it as a security blanket(for both of us) I know he is safe and he knows I am there. Now don't get me wrong I love having my own space to sleep, so I put his toddler bed in my room. I give him the option everynight of where he wants to sleep. I do not force him to sleep in his bed. I figure there will come a time when he will no longer need to be in the same bed let alone the same room. When he chooses to sleep in his own bed i feel better knowing he is in the same room as me.

J.

I also love to snuggle with my 2 year old while she goes to sleep. I think it is a great way to bond especially because I'm at work most of the day and also have a 4 month old. This is my dughter and I's time together. We lay down in her bed though so that I can get up when she goes to sleep (or when the other baby wakes me up). Sometimes she sleeps the rest of the night in her bed and sometimes she comes to sleep with me and my husband. I just feel like when she is ready, she will sleep in her room all the time. Hope that helps

my daughter is now 11 years old. she has been sleeping with me 4 - 9 years now. i would rather have her with me so i know she is ok. she is right there 2 let me know if she is sick or scared. sometimes i lay there and watch her sleep knowing that 1 day she will b grown and gone and i will long 4 these days back with all my heart. kids grow up so fast. do what feels right 2 u. if u want your baby with u then keep her there as long as she will stay.

i remember when my son was that age and he did the same thing until he was about 4. my husband and i made a deal with him insteda of in the bed we made a large pallet on the floor and told him that once he was 3 he was considered a big boy and that he would have to go back to his room. it was hard at first but it worked. he stills like to come in our room but does not get in the bed. he will sleep on the floor. it stills allows for them to be close to you and not feel as if they are not welcomed in your room. its just a thought try it maybe it will work.

try reading to her at bedtime and laying with her till she falls asleep in her big girl toddler bed and yes she may get up and climb into bed with mommy at times, joys of being mommy

You are indeed not alone. My 2yr old daughter has been sleeping with me for the last year. I'm trying to transition her to her own room but I have had no success. I'm getting ready to move in a few months with my soon-to-be husband. He doesn't mind that my daughter has to sleep with us but something has got to change. So maybe if you have any success, you can pass it on to me.

Hey C.,
My husband and I live separately too and we have a 3 year old. She goes back and forth between our houses night by night. She's always hated sleeping alone. At his house they share a bed partly because he just doesn't have another bed for her. At my house I put her to bed in her room in a regular full size mattress on the floor. When she wakes up in the night she used to sleep in my bed but I am a light sleeper and couldn't get any sleep so I made her a little bed on the floor and now she'll just sleep there next to my bed on the floor and it comforts her to know I am right there. The cuddling sounds great. I don't think it's a problem at age 2. Maybe as she gets older you can transition into sleeping separate but for now enjoy it. Good luck to you!

if you enjoy this time with her and don't plan on starting a relationship why does it have to change?, i slept in my moms room most nights until she died when i was 8, and my daughter will be 4 in two days and she sleeps in the family bed most nights still. She even has her own silk and down queen canopy, its better than ours! but i don't mind this because this time is precious to me as well, i feel that she is already starting to gain her independence while still having a very strong bond with me and my husband. if her sleeping in there poses no problem now then i see no reason to force it to break away, it sounds like you are a great mom and that you will have a friendship bond with your little girl for years to come.

As nice as it feels, its really a bad habit. I would begin by walking her back into her room and putting her back to bed. Explain that its her bed and she sleeps there and you sleep in mommy's bed. Just continue until she eventually learns. its going to be a rough process for you both, but better in the long run.

Well, don't feel bad, I may get flamed for this, but...my 5.5 year old still sleeps with me most nights...I'm a single parent who works as a teacher and am attending night school to get my masters. I don't want to fight with her about sleeping arrangements, I'm single and 2 hours from family so if they have soemthing to say--too bad. I do what works for me...and what works for now is for her to either sleep with me the whole night on bad nights, or for her to start in her bed and end up in mine about 2am when she gets up to pee. I'm not bothered and if someone else is then they can deal with my strong-willed child every night or shut the heck up.

hi, i'd suggest getting a crib tent since she can climb out. hope this helps.~J.~

enjoy the time you will both know when the time is right. good luck

My son, who is now almost four, did this for quite some time. Even after we got rid of the crib and set up the big boy room, he would still come join us most nights. Then, he eventually got to where he would stay in his bed. I would make him a special breakfast when he made it through the night in his own bed, but I did not punish him for coming to our room. He just eventually got to where he could stay in his bed, but he was well beyond three. My advice would be to enjoy the cuddle time. Most likely she'll get independent enough to want her own bed.

Hon-there's nothing wrong with letting your little princess share the bed with you. My daughter-now 18-has always been close to me. She had her own bed by the time she was 3, but I became very ill & had to move into my parent's so they could help care for both of us. She had a twin bed in the same room as me. After we got on our own again, she had her own room & her own bed. I would read to her & snuggle a little, then turn on her nightlight & remind her "my room is right beside you, just the bathroom between us." And if she ended up in my bed in the night, I never made much of a deal of it. The older she got, the less she got into my bed. When I re-married, my now-ex worked wierd shifts, & the week he would be on ll-7, she would sleep in my bed a few nights....clear up until she was 11 or 12! When I asked her why she thought she needed to still sleep w/me, she said, "Because it's our 'bonding time' & I won't be able to do it forever!" WOW! After we moved into a huge 13 room house, she had the privilege of having TWO bedrooms--one downstairs for when her step-sis came, & the guest bedroom upstairs, which she was allowed to help with remodeling/decorating. After divorcing the ex-we kinda shut down the downstairs part of the house & she claimed her territory in the upstairs bedroom, but never slept in my bed again.
So I think you'll adjust as times go along, & she will grow out of this phase. One small word of advice though...it's those dang toddler beds! Little kids move around a lot in their sleep--my stepdaughter, now 4, had a toddler bed, & fell out of it so many times we finally got her a twin bed & got a bedrail for $19.00 @ Walmart---she's pleased as punch, & her dad & I can actually get IN this bed w/her to read & snuggle, where we couldn't with the toddler bed. So maybe if she had her own "big girl bed" later on it might be an easier transition for both of you?.....just a few thoughts.
Good luck,
and keep up the good work on being a perfect mom!!! If your relationship w/your daughter is as good as I have with mine, you have your future best girlfriend sharing your bed right now!!!

Hey C.,
Two years old, in the grand scheme of things, is still so very young. What a great thing you give to her by letting her end her day by falling safely and securely asleep with her mother! I think its wonderful. I think that she will be developmentally ready for sleeping alone as she grows older. If you enjoy it and she enjoys it.. why rush? Everything changes with time.
Wishing you two lots of zzzzz's and happy slumbering!
A.

My 3 1/2 year-old sleeps with me and my husband. We thought long and hard about it and decided if it didn't bother us, who cared what others thought. As for attachment, my husband grew up in a co-sleeping environment (overseas) and they found that the kids would naturally transition when they were ready. Our son has a bed and some nights he chooses to sleep there; others with us. We just don't make a big deal of it. Just remember that it's unlikely she'll go off to college still sleeping in your bed. Probably not the advice you were seeking, but my point is what's the big deal?

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