My 2 Year Old Is Hitting Me and Other Family Members.

First of all, hitting your child back is ridiculous and what message does that send? When my two year old gets frustrated and acts out, I either put him in time out or get up and remove myself from him or him from me. Ignoring him for a few minutes is THE WORST punishment for him! He is wanting the attention and if I don't give it, he isn't getting a positive/negative reaction from me, thus the behavior didn't receive a "pay off". Without a "pay off" it isn't worth repeating. They eventually figure this out. They are smart little creatures.

Not exactly sure why?? But my 4 year old son did this to me for a while and then just got over it,so to speak.I think his was just a phase. Age 2 could be immitatting some other child.Check with your daycare provider if some other children are also doing it.Otherwise just try and be patient age 2 is still very young...but smart also!! She could just be wanting negative attention too My nearly 9 year old still does things every now and again for attention.
Good Luck!!!!

--A.J

H.,

I suggest that you hit back. Just a little harder than her hit. She needs to understand the pain and normal they will stop hitting if they feel what you feel. I know if is difficult because it is your 1st child but it works.

My two year old son does that, too. He's gotten better about it now that he's learning new words. Part of it is frustration, I think, because they can't express themselves. I'd just keep doing time out and keep telling her "NO!" I truly believe she'll outgrow this. My oldest son was a biter, and he it instead of hitting. I think its the way toddlers tell you they don't like something, but they'll learn to quit something if it doesn't get a huge reaction.

You should read the book To Train Up a Child by Michael and Debi Pearl. It is very reasonably priced and available on their website www.nogreaterjoy.org )click on The Web Store) They have really great child rearing ideas and great discipline advice. You just have to be willing to do the work (and it is work to discipline a child). Good luck! Really a great book!!

I have three children. Currently one of them is 2 years old. He is in the hitting stage too.
It's a phase that can quickly become permanent if not gotten under control.
Every time my son would raise his hand to hit someone I would question him as to why he was doing that. Then I would tell him that he shouldn't hit that person because they love him very much and we don't hit people we love.

Eventually he understood and now he runs up and hugs us saying "we don't hit. We hug!".

Girl, I feel for you. Mine was the same way and it took forever but the best thing that I ever got was this series of books from Barnes and Noble. One was Hands are not for Hitting!
It is the most fabulous thing and my child got it in no time. And, when she started back up, we would just read it again and finally, it sunk in.

Best books in the world. D.

I also have a two year old that love to hit his older sibling and have even swung at me once. I have learned that he loves to sing and write so I channel the energy to those two things and so forth it is working. He has so many educational music CD's and a fisher price CD player that I am teaching him how to use and it keeps those little hands busy. I lhope this idea helps with your two year old.

Some 2 year olds you can reason with others not, but you can ask her how she would like some one to hit her, an then act like it really hurt, and tell her she can't do that. If she listens at all you'll have to repeat it, but it may be a start. If you are at school full time and work part time, and your husband gone, sounds like there isn't enough left over for family which i'm sure is your first prioriety, you may have to cut something for now , she may just be missing family and acting out because of it.

You are going to school full time and working part time and your husband is never home. So who is raising "true blessing" daughter. Maybe she just needs to spend more time with her mom.

She may be acting out because of the lack of time with you and your husband since you work full time, go to school part time (and I assume use more time to study) and your husband works out of town. If children do not get enough time with you while being good, they frequently try getting your attention by misbehaving. Try giving her quality time one-on-one with you everyday and with your husband (when he is in town).

Also, watch Supernanny on ABC; she has a lot of good tips on how to discipline children.

It sounds like hitting may be your daughter's way of dealing with both of her parents taking on more responsibilities outside the home. If your husband started traveling and you have started school and work, then chances are you might not be spending quite as much time with her. Maybe you are, but there's still a change in your lives. Some kids just simply don't handle change very well. I work in a daycare, and I can always tell when kids have any kind of change happen in their home, positive or negative, before the parents tell me about them. Just keep up the firm, but loving discipline when she hits. She will learn that you won't tolerate the hitting, but you understand that there are changes going on. She's young and can't really express how she feels, so just be patient. Good luck!

I have the same problem in my day care. A 2 yr old girl hits then my 22 mo old started and I am very interested in what others say. He keeps going to time out or I put him in his bed where he can not join the other children. He is such a character. My son also used to bite at age 18 mos and we bit him back they all grow out of it and when you think about it they can not talk so grabbing things from others or hitting because they can not say,"Please may I play with that?" Makesn sense they do out grow it and it is a faize. G. W

My kid also used to hit, till someone told me to hit him back everytime so he experienced it and he stopped eventually.

I have a 20 months old boy, and I am not really going through the hitting stage yet, but he is throwing himself on the floor or ground for that matter when he doesn't get his way or does nor understand that he needs to wait a little bit. Even though is hard, what you are going thru is a stage and it thou shall pass.
Not every toddler does so, (I also have a 7yrs old and she never did), but I have a nephew who's 30 months now, and when he was 2 he used to do the same thing that your baby is doing now, he also used to behave like my son when he was my son's age.
I wouldn't say that she's craving for attention, I just think that is a normal stage of her life. I work in a PreSchool and we see that very often, but as kids get older they move on to other trends.

I know is frustating and embarrasing, but it will get better.

I like Kim S. response! She is using praise rather than punishment. How do you show a child not to hit by hitting? Try the positive approach first and see what happens. I also think she might be acting out by having her daddy gone and you at school. Is she verbal? She might not be able to voice herself and is taking it out physically. Good luck to you. It will pass.

Did this start when daddy left? How verbal is she? Is she able to say "I'm mad"? Telling her "you are allowed to be angrey when we.... upset with mommy when..... not like being told no... BUT we DO NOT HIT." Then putting her in a completly removed time out, where she is not with any one, either in a room by herself with out toys, or simply turned around in a corner where she can't see anyone. That is what I would try. I really think talking to her about her emotions of upset being okay but the action being wrong is important. I suspect she just doesn't know how to say "I don't like this" and I also suspect she doesn't like that daddy is gone is there any other schedule/life changes that have happened recently?

H.,
I'm experiencing the same thing with my 3 year old boy. He is constantly hitting his 2 other brothers and even very rough with our 5lb puppy. I've alos tried time out, and he doesn't seem to care. Its gotten to the point where he's picking up things and throwing them at us. The only thing I've tried that has seemed to slowly die this issue down, is taking all his toys out of his room. He is left with nothing and he gets placed in time out in a completly toy less room. Everytime he would hit, he'd get a few toys taken, till he was left with nothing to play with. I'm not sure if this will help, but it seems to have been working for my boy so far. I hope this helps, as I know how you feel.

My sweetie did that too but it was usually a personal space issue. We taught him soft touches (rubbing blankets or teddy bears) and we made him kiss his hand and rub them together after he hit ( sometimes after having a timeout.) I don't think you should hit for hitting but maybe she should have to use her hands in a soft way? Good luck! She'll grow out of if.