My 2 Year Old Broke My Brothers Laptop . How Should We Handle?

Updated on October 19, 2012
A.W. asks from Frederick, MD
36 answers

I asked my sister in law to watch my 2 month old for the day while my husband and i took our 2 year old out. My brother came with her. We gave her $40 for the 5 hours. When we returned my brother had put his expensive laptop on our fish tank. My 2 year old tripped on the cord which was stretched across the room pulling the laptop down. It barely missed her head. My husband and sister in law were scared for my daughter and my brother got his stuff and just stormed out of my house. I heard from him a few hours later when he sent me nasty text messages about my "true colors" and how I gave him attitude and how he was out 1000 bucks without even an apology which isn't true. He left before anyone could say anything and my 2 year old didn't mean to do it. The screen was cracked but the computer was working but now he is saying its completely broken after we told him we would pay half of repairs. He's become so nasty about it I don't even know what to do. Please help!

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So What Happened?

I received a text from my brother today. He said,"it will cost $300 to fix. Do what you want". I told him that I would send a check for $150 and I haven't heard anything else. Thank you everyone who has responded. It really helped me out! I feel that I should take responsibility for my daughter pulling it down and he should come up with the other half for having a cord across the walkway. I am really hoping that this doesn't destroy our relationship.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Does he not know anything about kids? When you have kids in the house you do not put any electronic equipment near water, or stretch cords across the floor. I remember my aunt used to say set it on the floor it can't get knocked off there. Okay not always the right thing but you get the idea.

He is the adult and the responsible party. He should be ashamed of himself for blaming a 2 yr old for anything. Tell him to grow up -- it's time.

12 moms found this helpful
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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

He's a Big Baby. There is nothing you can say right now, he will just put his fingers in his ears like a BIG BABY --0--

Let him throw his tantrum.

Updated

He's a Big Baby. There is nothing you can say right now, he will just put his fingers in his ears like a BIG BABY --0--

Let him throw his tantrum.

4 moms found this helpful

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

Whoa, as I was reading, I was just about to tell you to man up and pay for the damage that your child did to his laptop. However, what kind of dumbass actually puts a $1000 laptop on top of a fish tank with water? Not to mention the cord stretched across the room...it could easily have been an adult that tripped over the cord rather than your 2-year old. Your 2-year old could have easily been injured by this as well.

Frankly, I think that you are being incredibly generous offering to pay half of the repairs. You nor your 2-year old did anything negligent here.

13 moms found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

If your two year old had taken the laptop and dropped it in the fish tank, you pay. In the case you describe above I think your offer to cover half of repairs is very generous and your brother is being a twit.

11 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I'm guessing your brother doesn't have any children??
If he did, he would certainly know that HE is the one responsible for what happened. You can't leave stuff like that laying around (cords draped across walkways?! on top of a fishtank?!) when there are young children around.

I feel sorry for your SIL. How does she see this? I wonder who's idea it was to set it there... you know? I can see the two of them: He got up and left the laptop on the sofa, and her chiding him for leaving it there, saying that you guys will be back soon and little one will get ahold of it, or that someone might sit on it, etc. So he picks it up and moves it (draping the cord).... so he probably is made at his wife, too. And himself, because she warned him... or something...

I think offering to pay half the repairs was EXTREMELY GENEROUS on your part, since it was totally and completely HIS FAULT it happened.

I would give him ALLLLL the space he wants right now. ;)

9 moms found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Cleveland on

You are right...a two year old didn't mean to do it. How could a two year old mean to trip...and even if your two year old would have picked it up and threw it...the child is still two years old. It was his fault for how he put it like that. He is the adult and should know better... especially with little ones roaming around. I feel he should be happy that you even offered to pay half.

And not to ask how your little one is doing only caring about his precious laptop...that to me shows his "True Colors". He cares more about material stuff that costs money...than his niece/nephew that you can't put a price on.

Sorry, I don't have much advice except you are doing everything you can with your brother. You aren't the problem here...he is. I hope things get better for you though...I know it can be hard when a sibling doesn't talk to you.

9 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Who puts a laptop on a fish tank?
With the cord "stretched across the room"?
And leaves it that way with a 2 year old in the vicinity?

Stupid is as stupid does!

9 moms found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

How old is your brother? It kinda sounds like he's a teenager (or just acting like it).
Really, I doubt the laptop cost $1000. Who pays that much for a laptop nowadays? (Did I really just use that word? Ugh, I'm getting old.)
Anyway, seriously, he was negligent. He basically left an electrical device on top of a bucket of water, with a trip wire through the middle of the room with a two year old present. How many ways was he trying to break his own computer? He knew the two year old was there because he came along! I'm sorry, but I think offering to pay for half the repairs is much more than fair. You are nicer than I am, I wouldn't have offered that given the circumstances.

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S.H.

answers from Detroit on

Have your brother post here so we can all advise him to either 1) don't leave valuable equipment in a dangerous spot when toddlers are around, or 2) don't act surprised when something happens when you leave valuable equipment in a dangerous spot when toddlers are around. I don't know what else to add. Family dynamics developed over a lifetime are difficult to outline in the proper detail on an internet forum.

8 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I'm torn on this one. Your brother is behaving like an immature child. You don't put expensive things on fish tanks and leave cords laying around when there are small children around. I am going to assume he doesn't have kids and that he is kind of an idiot.

I always believe in offering to pay for things if I am involved in breaking them, and I think your offer to split it with him is fair. I'd stay my ground and let the baby (your brother) throw a tantrum.

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L.D.

answers from Ocala on

I have to wonder, would he have paid all of the bills if his negligence caused injury or electrocution to your child? With all of the poor decisions he made, it is really lucky that the only thing hurt was a replaceable/repairable piece of electronic equipment.

8 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Imo, he put his laptop on top of a fishtank, with the cord stretched across the room. This is not the kind of accident I would pay for.

I had an incident with my mother that was similar. She was watching my daughter at her house. She had her in a circle chair, which I had specifically told them not to buy for her because it wasnt safe (they have ungated staircases in their house). While in the circle chair, she was clearly not being supervised because she wheeled over and pulled a large price of pottery off a shelf and it crashed and broke on the floor. My mother was mad about this. I firmly told her that 1, I told them not to put her in a circle chair, and 2, they needed to watch her better as she could have been seriously hurt by this. Theres no way I was paying for that. If I had been there, and not been watching my kids, and they had broken something, that would be totally different.

Sounds like you brother is being a bit of a bully, and a brat. Stand your ground. He was irresponsible with his belongings, one of them is now broken. Not your problem.

7 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

It's your BROTHER'S FAULT ENTIRELY for leaving the computer on the fish tank. Who does that? Seriously, who does that and then plugs it in letting the cord stretch across a room for people to trip on the cord and then expects the homeowner to pay for a new computer or the entire repair? He set the whole thing up for an accident and yet he's upset and shocked that it happened. Perhaps he's more embarrassed than he is angry.

Why did he bring his computer in the first place? Here's the thing. You offered to pay half for an accident that was entirely his own fault. He really should be paying the whole thing on his own. He ought to be grateful that you're paying half and feel responsible since it was only chance that your child was the one that tripped.

How about your brother apologizes for being a douche and apologizes to your son for causing him to trip and fall?

Decide between you and your husband what you feel is fair to give your brother as "half of a repair" and he can accept it for that (a repair) or he can put it toward a new computer. Give it to him in a check and write down on the check what the purpose is so that when he cashes it, you have written proof and an automatic receipt of him accepting payment.

EDIT: And also, once you give him money, don't give him another red cent. The matter should be considered closed. Accepting the check ought to be considered the end of the issue and payment for damages. The thing is, giving him the check will be you accepting part of the responsibility for the damages. So seriously get it in writing with his signature when you give him the check that he won't be asking for more money.

6 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

He's an idiot. He put a LAPTOP on a FISHTANK? Really? And I'm guessing he would have blamed you if it fell in. And it was plugged in across the room? No, NO, NO! You're being nice to pay half since it happened in your home. A real man would realize that it was his own stupid fault. If he keeps copping attitude, tell him what I typed and that he can pay for the repairs himself since his negligence with his own property is what got you in trouble in the first place. And he's just throwing $1000 out there - have him get a real estimate if he starts acting like a mature adult. Have your SIL give YOU the make/model, etc. so you know he's not trying to upgrade on your dime. Otherwise, ignore him. He's your brother, so you probably know if this is typical or out of character.

6 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

He put a computer on a fish tank?

I am still shaking my head at that one.

5 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

i am always a very apologetic person. i actually caught myself saying "woops, sorry!" when two people i was talking to bumped into each other, the other day. (rme).

my husband can (sometimes) tend to be more like your brother.

after years of marriage what i have figured out is, if the man is throwing a temper tantrum in a situation like this (that is really not that big of a deal, AND you very fairly offered to split the cost with him - since it was at LEAST 1/2 his own fault anyway) then my guilt is gone. i don't feel bad, i don't apologize anymore, and that's the end of it. he can keep throwing his tantrum if he wants - but for my own sanity's sake, i can't keep trying to make it better - he is choosing to let it make him miserable. that's his choice.

i make my offer, give my apology, and move on. either he accepts it or he doesn't. if he keeps up with the attitude i would probably end up giving him a piece of my mind. bottom line, it was his fault more than anyone's. you offered to pay for half, either he takes it and shuts the heck up about it, or he's a selfish immature brat and he can call you when he grows up.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

He put an expensive electronic on a tank of WATER, where a toddler who doesn't know the meaning of valuable, tripped over it. Water, toddler. Why isn't he mad at himself for being an idiot? YO are paying for his idiocy? You shouldn't be. The fault rests squarely on his shoulders. I think you do nothing, he's being a jerk...over something stupid HE did.

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

Well, first off, I am assuming the 1k is for a brand new laptop, or is how much he paid for his. Computers are like cars. They depreciate quickly, and are outdated quickly. He doesn't get a new computer. He gets a used one, same make & model, that won't cost 1k.

He was negligent in his placement of the computer, but being that he doesn't have kids, he probably wasn't thinking like a parent would. If the child hadn't have been there, then the accident might not have happened. Not to mention, he had good intentions and was doing you a favor at the time of the accident.

So, I would pay 1/2 for the same/similar make & model, used. But I would not be paying for 1/2 of a brand new laptop. And that would only after he started acting like an adult & not throwing a tantrum over a stupid material item.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

1.He shouldn't have had the laptop on your fishtank to begin with.
2.He layed the cord in the wrong place where ANYONE could have tripped over it.
3. He shouldn't be blaming YOU for anything. You didn't do anything. He put the laptop there, he is responsible. It is unfortunate that it was accidentally broken in your home, but you have nothing to do with that.

He is very lucky you offered half--you don't owe him a dime. The nice thing to do is to offer to contribute--which you did~ But if he is nasty, I would say take it or leave it--if he gives more trouble--retract your offer to pay anything.

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K.M.

answers from Washington DC on

When I first read your title I thought "Uh pay for a new one!" However, after reading what happened, I don't think you are responsible and are being kind offering to pay for half of the repairs.

I wouldn't do anything more. Accidents happen. If you had place the laptop on the fish tank or anywhere else, with the cord stretched across the room, then I would say you owe him. It was his carelessness, end of story.

I hope you get this worked out and good luck.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.F.

answers from Boston on

You owe him nothing. He is old enough not to stretch a cord across the room. Your little one tripped over it because of him. Time for him to grow up and stop blaming people for his mistake.

2 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Charlotte on

I would say that you could talk to your insurance company about covering the cost of repairing it, but I doubt that the repair will be as much as your deductible.

I would have said this, but what your brother did was just awful. He has become your judge and jury without giving you a chance to even work with him about it.

I would not offer anything until you can bawl him out but good. He needs to get off his high horse. Those texts he sent you were out of line in a big way. He needs to apologize for his behavior. Only THEN do you get it repaired (NOT replaced.)

Dawn

2 moms found this helpful

J.O.

answers from Boise on

I've got nothing more to add that these other ladies haven't already said.

2 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Offering to pay half is fair.
A $1000 seems a bit much for a laptop but I suppose it's possible if it was a tweaked out gaming model - I know some of the higher end ones can run over $2000.
I'd make sure you pay one half of that particular model (and not more in the event he wants to upgrade to an even more expensive machine).
Yeah and I can't believe he placed it over a fish tank.
Placing something expensive in a precarious place is just asking for trouble (are you SURE he wasn't looking to guilt you into an upgrade?).
I'm afraid there's nothing you can do about his immaturity act.
He'll throw a hissy fit as long as he wants to but this could not have happened had he not come along or not brought his computer or had he placed it somewhere safe where the cord was not dangling across a room - he definitely contributed to his computers demise - and maybe that's one reason why he's so mad (maybe at himself) but can't bring himself to say 'it was my own fault'.
If I were your sister in law, I might be a bit worried about how he's going to behave once they start having kids of their own.

2 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Sorry - your brother is an idiot.

1. No person in their right mind would put ANY electronic item - laptop, cell phone, kindle, ipad, etc. on top of a fish tank.

2. No person in their right mind would string a chord across the floor AND then put the item attached to that cord on an aquarium.

You don't owe your brother a dime in my book. If you feel like you can't stand up to your brother - you need to stop having him to your home. period. Yes, I know he's family - but really - he walks all over you. You allow it. STOP. Stand up for yourself. He was an idiot. The whole thing could have been avoided if he had not strung a cord across the floor AND put the laptop on top of an aquarium. DO NOT let him blame you for this.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Sometimes we just have to take care of ourselves and find a way to not let our relatives make us feel badly. My brother has been upset with me for years. I kept trying to get along with him while he continued to berate me. He no longer speaks to me. That was his decision.

Your brother's response is way overdone. I'd ignore him. You offered to pay half which is more than I would've offered. He is the adult and it's his responsibility to take care of his belongings. A two year old is not responsible for his lack of care. Even an adult could've tripped on the cord.

I suggest that the more you try to mollify him the angrier he will get because you're not agreeing with him. I suggest that you not talk with him. When he calls to yell, tell him you're not going to listen and hang up.

My brother continues to berate me to my other brother and he said he's learned a new phrase which is helping to stop the negative conversation. He says, "I've heard that before" and changes the subject. You can say, "I know how you feel or I'm sorry you feel that way. We don't need to discuss it any further" and if he persists, hang up or leave the room.

He will either get over it or continue to be angry and eventually avoid you because he's not getting a rise out of you.

Do not replace his computer. I would tell him that because of his attitude I would not even be paying for half. To pay would be enabling him to be an immature and irresponsible person. I strongly believe that each of us has to learn to take responsibility for our own actions. When we fix it for others we're not doing them a favor.

2 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I agree your brother is out of line. Perhaps that's why he stormed out - he knows he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Putting a computer on a fish tank is already dumb. And a cord stretched out where a child is walking? A 2 year old is not capable of figuring out that tripping on a cord can bring down a laptop and isn't that fun...

Your brother may be angry about something else, like having to watch your child, or about something in the past. Or he's mad at himself.

I don't think you should have to pay for any of it, and I do think he should have insurance on his expensive electronics. However, I doubt his insurance would pay because it was due to his negligence. Fish tank or no fish tank, he left it out where a toddler could get at it.

For the sake of family harmony, you can pay half if you've already offered to do that. I'd get the repair estimate from the store though - I'm not sure your brother is reliable in his citation of amounts owed.

And why should you apologize for something that happened when you weren't there? That's what you paid the babysitter for.

2 moms found this helpful

H.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

This is a tough one... I have had to try to imagine my own child having done something, and what my reaction would be. The pleaser in me would immediately apologize and offer to purchase another one. This is however, family. If they can afford it, meaning they are financially ok, then offer to pay half of the repairs just as you did. Siblings are hardest on one another, so I might consider talking to your SIL about it rather than go through him.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If you can afford it buy him a new one. If not then you'll have to come to terms with the fall out of what he thinks about the whole thing. He did try to put it up out of reach but didn't do a good job of it. Next time he needs to make sure and just put it up totally.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Who in their right mind puts a laptop on top of a fish tank, and stretches the cord out where a toddler can trip on it?
Since part of the reason for the breakage was your brother's idiocy, I think you should offer to pay half the cost of the repairs.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

You could turn this into your homeowners insurance and let them handle it. However, they would say that you had to somehow be negligent to owe for the damages. A 2 year old is below the age of reason (typically though to be about 7yrs old) which makes the child incapable of negligence. Your brother placed the laptop on the fishtank and stretched the cord across the room knowing a 2 year old was in the house. So, you really have no negligence on your part with the possible exception of not telling him to move it someplace safer if you happened to have seen where it was placed. So, I doubt that insurance is going to agree to pay for anything. If they did pay for anything, they would cover only repairs, not replacement unless it was cheaper to replace than repair. They also would depreciate any replacement.

If I were you, to keep the peace with my brother and about my children, I'd probably have offered to pay for repair (not replacement) and been done.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

I can't believe your brother would be foolish enough to have a cord stretched out so as to trip a baby, nearly causing her an injury and not perceive himself to be the_________________! Fill it in for yourself-it was his negligence that contributed to the demise of his precious laptop. He could have insured it for about $2/week!!!!:

http://www.squaretrade.com/laptop?ccode=bs_war_adword_140...

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L.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

You don't owe him a dime. He was irresponsible with his own property and created a tripping hazard. Don't throw money at stupid.

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

OK, I'm realize I'm the only one to present the other side of this. It is irrelevant if it was on a fish tank, it didn't fall into the water and your daughter wasn't hurt. The same thing could have happened on a coffee table, bookshelf, counter or kitchen table. The three of you came home, your daughter took off and tripped. It wasn't a booby trap to hurt your daughter or get a new computer.

I'm pretty sure it can be repaired for significantly less than $500 (the cost of 1/2 a new computer). I just had a bunch of work done on an extra laptop and it was less than $200 (including a new screen). I agree he acted like an a** but it was an accident.

I feel there are other solutions, especially if you like these people enough to trust them with your infant. For some reason I am super willing to make someone "whole" if something happens in my home. So sorry and good luck!

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Your daughter didn't "pull it down" he stretched the cord across the room and she tripped. I don't think it was her fault at all. He's the one who stretched the cord and he's the one who put the laptop on top of the fish tank. Both stupid moves if you ask me! He should pay and consider it a lesson learned!

1 mom found this helpful

D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, A.:

What is it with you and your family?
Your brother is responsible for his broken lap top.
It is his fault that the lap top broke.
He came with his wife to baby sit.
She offered, you allowed her.
They have to be accountable if they don't know
how to babysit.
Next time, they won't ask to babysit.

Are there any Co-Dependent Anonymous support groups in the
area where you live?

Good luck.
D.

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