My 19 Month Old Keeps Wakin Gup in the Middle of the Night

Updated on March 30, 2008
S.P. asks from Monroe, NY
22 answers

Hi Mommies: Any advice on the following: My 19 month old son has always been an average sleeper...we've had months of him sleeping thru the night and then periods where, if he is teething-waking during the middle of the night. The last almost 3 weeks, he has been waking up around 3am--screaming--i do go to him and even offer him a bottle (he doesn't always take a drink, but likes to chew on the nipple, he is not a binky kid)and sometimes he'll go right back to sleep OR sometimes you think he has fallen asleep but as soon as we put him in the crib, he screams again. I know it is from his eye teeth coming in. I give him Tylenol from time to time, and I also have used the teething tablets which for him, can be hit or miss. My question is, am I doing the right thing by going to him or should my husband and I be stronger and let him cry it out or even feberize at this hr of the night? We ferberized him when he was younger and it worked. We even have to sometimes revert back to the method if he is giving us a hard time going down, which is at 8pm every night like clockwork. We have a good "go to bed" routine. I am just uncertain if he needs us when he awakes in the middle of the night or if it has at this point become a habit. During the day, he is happy go lucky! Though in saying that, his hands are in his mouth and he is having some weird bowels, so I really do think it is from teething. Any advice will be appreciated, thanks!

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J.G.

answers from Albany on

Try putting a t-shirt you've worn all day in the crib (or his bed) with him at night. Also leave a bottle of water and an extra binkie - if he uses one. The t-shirt will smell like you and possibly help to comfort him. I've been doing it with my son (14 mon) since he was 9 months and it's awesome. Now, when it's time for a nap or bedtime, I give him his binkie(only time he gets it) and my t-shirt. He clutches it, smells it, and it settles him right down. Good luck. You could also try the book Good Night, Sleep Tight for other ideas!

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D.G.

answers from Grand Rapids on

S.,
I am going through the same problems with my 13 month old. He usually going back to sleep after a bit, but his teeth are the major problem. We have been using the baby origel and it seems to be working well, a lot better then the tabs that are out there. As soon as he wakes up screaming, we put it on him give him a bottle and he usually goes back to sleep. Its a game of hit or miss at this time! Teething is a hard time for both parents and kids! I have also been giving my son ice in a baby washcloth for him to bite on, that seems to work well too, but its a little mess...or wet!!
Hope this helped a little!

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S.M.

answers from Albany on

Teething is a tough time, we started giving our 16 month old Advil at night, and it does a better job at keeping her pain free at night. During the day, we give her teething tablets and lots of love. Good luck, and hang in there...this too shall pass.

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C.R.

answers from Syracuse on

I just responded to a similar request not to long ago. It very well maybe teeth or it could be night terrors...they usually start around 2...(my son at 16months). If it is night terrors your son may look awake and be responsive but is still asleep and most of the time can't be calmed...the good thing is that either way it's temporary...if it's teeth they'll come in and if it's terrors they go away as suddenly as they started(my sons lasted for a month, came back for about 2weeks a couple months later and nothing ever since...he just turned 6). As far as comforting him, I think a parent should always acknowledge their childs cries...that doesn't mean you have to stay in until he's calmed down or asleep but if he's up and uncomfortable kiss him, hug him and tell him goodnight...I wouldn't give him anything other than water and you could even put that in his crib before you go to bed and see if it helps, although it may just cause another habit to break in the long run...and if you're sure it's teeth give him meds at night, the teeth moving can cause ear pain when he's laying down...my 19 month son gets an ear infection and bursts his eardrum everytime he gets a tooth...if it helps him sleep go for it, as long as its only for a day or 2...once the teeth break through they don't hurt anymore...goodluck,I hope I was at least a little helpful.

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J.R.

answers from New York on

I want to begin by saying that although I have used the Ferber method and it has worked I have HATED it! My youngest, 2.5 years old, goes through periods where he will sleep well and other times not at all. My initial thought, since you said that he has slept and can sleep through the night, is that something is bugging him. If it is teething Tylenol does not work for my kids. I use Motrin at night and Tylenol if I have to in the day time. The Motrin should last 6-8 hours. He is also at the age where is becoming emotionally and physically aware of his suroundings and the world around him. He could be having a bad dream or be scared of the dark. If he is I think letting him CIO (cry it out) is terrible. I would go see if you can calm him back to sleep or bring him in bed to fall asleep with you.

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C.D.

answers from New York on

Hi S., Your little guy is probably experiencing discomfort from the teething. I have 3 children (soon to be 21, 18 and a 6-1/2 year old). Honestly, I was not the kind of mom who would let my children scream or cry it out. I always went to them and in desperate times, brought them back into my bed. Most would say that was a no-no but when you're tired you do things like that. I never let my children cry for more than a few minute; it was terrible for them and for me. I have also found that by the time I figured out why certain things were happening, it would stop and eventually some new experience would arise! Go with your gut. Take him to bed with you and cuddle! I cherish those moments even with my little one as i know they will be over in a short time - so go for it!!!

Not your typical advice; i didn't always listen to what others would say. My grandmother told me when i had my first child "hold that baby and love that baby" and i always did.

P.S. I have always worked full time and good sleep was hard to get with little ones even now with my 6 y.o.

Enjoy your little guy!

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L.L.

answers from New York on

My son would get up too. Every night until he was around 3. He would come into my room and I would put him back into his bed with minimal talk, (I would say its bedtime) and walk out of the room. Sometimes he would cry but we hung tough and eventually he would get up and then he would calm himself down and would fall back asleep. Children sometimes wake themselves up for some reason and don't know how to fall back asleep. by ferberizing him he will re-learn how to calm himself down and will eventually fall right back asleep if he wakes up. good luck!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

If you know that his waking is from teething, he is in pain. Ferberizing isn't about ignoring a child in pain. Your son is a baby, and when a baby is in pain, he needs attention. He does not know the difference between pain during the day or the middle of the night, and you can't expect him to suffer silently. Think about how you would feel if the tables were turned and it was you in pain during the middle of the night.
That's a very different situation than a child who simply wakes up habitually and has no needs that must be met.

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D.

answers from New York on

I would suggest going to him, but don't pick him up. Try soothing him with your voice. Also, I know he's not a binky kid, but it may help him fall back to sleep. He really doesn't need the bottle during the night at his age. My daughter isn't a binky kid either and sometimes it helps her fall back to sleep.

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S.C.

answers from New York on

Getting eye teeth can be VERY hard for a lot of kids. They have the hardest time at night. Why not be proactive and give him a dose of Children's Motrin before he goes to bed...it lasts longer (6-8 hrs) and it helps with inflammation (his gums) better too. Just make sure he's following it up with a few swigs of milk to help protect his stomach. I had to give my daughter Motrin every night for about 1 1/2 weeks....it helped her sleep and if she still woke in pain, I then gave her a dose of Tylenol to get her through the night. It may sound like a long term, but in actuality it is short term and I was only giving it at night, when she was most uncomfortable. Focus on helping your son with his discomfort, which will then allow him to get a good night sleep and most likely it will not turn into a "habit" of waking.

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D.E.

answers from New York on

Do you have something with lights or musical on his crib that he can put on or off when he wants?
My son doesnt get up often in the middle of the night but when he does I go in and change him and give him a bottle and put the aquarium on. Or sometimes when my son gets up in the middle of the night he pushes a button on his aquarium and it lights up and plays music and he goes back to sleep on his own I always give it about 15 mins to see if he went back to sleep.
Hope this helped.
D.

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S.T.

answers from Albany on

This is a tough one and I have three boys and my third one is 6 months and he just got his first two set of teeth. It is hard. I mean, bfore going to bed, give him teethings which I give him, the Teething Tablets and give it to him about 1/2 hour before going to sleep and hopefully it will help him, let him cry for five minutes and attend to him. The next night, if he cries, let him him cry for 10 minutes and so forth and see if it works. My third son seem to cry and cry and cry and doesn't stop and I can't sleep, but his was teething and is very hungry so I don't let him cry and cry at night because he is hungry. I nurse him, but meainly at night he eats cereal hoping it will carry him over in sleep a little bit longer, but it doesn't. It worked for my older two boys, but not this one. Every child is different and you haveto get to know him and try different things to see what works. If he's not hungry at night and you know that he's not because he won't eat and you give him teething tablets and try letting him cry little by little at night. As I said before you haveto get to know your son who is learning from being conditioned to what has worked for him and you'll keep learning about him as he grows and grows. I prefer teething tablets over tylenol. I don't like the idea putting that stuff in his body just for that. I use tylenol for fevers, or about 1/2 hour before getting shots so the pain doesn't hurt as much. you do what you believe is best for him. I'll pray for you all too for God's wisdom.

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A.P.

answers from New York on

Go to your son. If you awoke in the middle of the night in pain and didn't know why and needed your husband wouldn't you want him to comfort you. That's how it is for your son. He is awaking due to pain and wants his mother's comfort. I think you should give it to him. If he were 7 and awoke due to a bad dream would you ignore him? Probably not, you'd go to him, comfort him, then put him back to sleep. It's the same thing only he's still a baby and can only tell you what's wrong with crying.

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H.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi S.,
My 19 month old daughter is doing the exact same thing. Except in her case, she is not teething b/c she already has all her teeth.
She wakes up at 2 or 3 am and 1 of 2 things happen. She wakes up yelling for me and wants to snuggle in my arms, but never falls back to sleep fully enough to be put down.
Or the worse one, she screams and has tantrums that are so bad I can't even hold her for fear I'll drop her. She'll have a tantrum for 20+ minutes! She wants me there but can't get it together enough to let me hold her.

I'm beginning to think it is a nightmare thing. When my older daughter turned 2 she started having nightmares and would wake up screaming - it has to do with the development of language.

We are wondering the same thing about ferberizing her or not. My husband works early in the morning, so I do most of the night waking with her since I'm home.

These things are never easy, it's hard not to feel guilty.
Let me know what you decide and what works for you. I'll do the same if I can figure it out. :o)
-H.

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S.C.

answers from New York on

ahhh, your little guy sounds like our little one. same sort of sleep cycle - months of being great, with little interuptions here and there. we also did the ferber thing when he was 7.5 months old and it worked really well for him. so... here is our method for dealing with these interuptions: first, we are consistent, consistent, consistent about our approach - we do this everytime! first, i listen to see if it is an extended cry (a couple of minutes), then i go right in to check on him. i do not ever take him out of the crib (unless, of course he has gotten sick to his stomach). I feel his forhead to see if he is feverish - i kiss him and tell him he is ok and it is night-night time still. i make sure he has a stuffed animal and his blankie. if he is teething, i give him tylenol. i stay with him for about 5 min or so and then i say bye-bye. sometimes he cries his head off... and as long as i am sure he is ok - we let him do that for 10 mins or so. then, my husband re-checks for a quick min. and then we let him cry again. truth is, since we have been so consistent, he really doesn't cry anymore. the tylenol usually kicks in pretty quickly to care for any discomfort and he is back to sleep quickly. if not, we know it is most likely an ear infection and we are at the ped's office the next morning. around december we had a stretch like this and we were not consistent - we tried taking him into our bed and it was a disaster - it only prolonged the return to sleep. of course, all babies are different and you have to do what works best for your family - but for us, the consistent response coupled with a gentle and loving check and no getting out of the crib has worked really well. good luck!

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C.M.

answers from New York on

Hi S.,

Wow - I thought you had my kid when I was reading your post. This is happening to me too, the teething, the hands in the mouth, the screaming, but the only difference is my kid does this at around 2am. Last night, he screamed so hard that he ended up throwing up all over me. Then he smiled. I can't let him scream because he ends up puking. I tried bottles, he looks like he's asleep then when I put him down, he pops right up. We are teething here too, but is this normal behavior and are we harboring bad habits now? Any help would be appreciated, sorry I could help you S.... good luck...

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J.D.

answers from New York on

My daughter is about the same age as your son and I am having the same issues. But - she's never been a great sleeper. My son, on the other hand, could have bombs going off around him and he'd sleep through it! When my daugher slept in our room we could breathe too heavy and she'd wake up. My daughter does take a pacifier and sometimes she can't find it in the middle of the night and that's why she cries. We've also stopped giving a bottle when she wakes up like this unless she's completely over-the-top with screaming. When we hear her cry we don't run right in...we see if she can self-pacify herself and fall back asleep. Most of the time, she does. If she continues to cry we go in there and give her the pacifier back and then leave. Should the crying continue and she doesn't let up, we give the bottle and that usually settles her down. We thought it was becoming a "habit" with the bottle in the middle of the night and that's why we stopped it.

I don't know if I have any "advice" but see if your son can put himself back to sleep without you having to go in there. And sometimes they can't. But let him cry a little bit before rushing in there. Every child is different. What you're doing doesn't sound wrong...hey - this job didn't come with a handbook, right!?!?!

Good luck!
J.

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J.L.

answers from New York on

Hi there, I know alot of books and people say if your child is teething or sick, go in, but I don't believe in this. I think by 19 months your sone should be able to soothe himself back to sleep and you really shouldn't give him a bottle in the middle of the night, even if he doens't drink the milk. Does your son have a lovey? My daughter sleeps with her favorite stuffed animals, has been since she was about 6 months old (now she is 21 months old) and I think it helps her. I have to admit being very lucky that teething and being sick for the most part don't wake her up, but I hear her stir in her sleep alot and think he loveys help. I did let her cio when she was about 5 months and since then, she's been an excellent sleeper. Good luck! I know it's hard but you, your husband and son will be so much happier and well rested when your son sleeps through the night.

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T.L.

answers from Rochester on

Hi S.
My daughter is almost 15 months old and had started doing the same thing. I put her down between 8-8:30 and by 2 she would be up inconsolably crying. I tried feeding her which was hit and miss too. the common factor between all the nights was a diaper. it was sooo full!! We switched her to an over night diaper and that has done the trick! No more night wakenings. I hope your issue is as easily solved! gOOD LUCK!

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M.R.

answers from New York on

S.,

My name is M. and yes you should go to him if it is for teething. If he likes the nipple from the bottle you can either try to find a binky that has the sam nipple and see if that helps or try to make your own binky out of that nipple. Sometimes the teething rings will also work the frozen ones my be too cold for him so if you keep 1 that is room temperature it may work better for him. if that doesn't do the trick to get him back to sleep then another thing is to hold him and rub your finger on his gums after giving him the tylenol to soothe him to sleep. Unfortunatly since there is no way for him to really tell you what is going on he needs the comfort. If after they break and everything is back to normal and he is still waking up to try and have you come in the room then I would let him cry for about 10 minutes and if he doesn't calm down go to him and just try rubbing his back until he calms down and then go back to bed yourself.

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T.B.

answers from Rochester on

Hi -- my daughter is 18 months and just started waking in the middle of the night too. If your son is teething - i would try infant motrin -- works better than tylenol. I used tylenol for the longest time until her eye teeth started and i called my doc and said to the the motrin. It might be becoming a habit - as i think that is what is happening with my daughter. She goes down at night no problem and then between 1 - 3 wakes up and now she starts screaming and won't go back to sleep unless she sleeps with us. I have also found that she is dreaming so that could be part of it. Good luck to you.

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L.G.

answers from New York on

If it is from the teething, then you should go in. He is in pain and it is always worse at night. Once his teething stops, then let him cry it out.

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