My 14 Month Old Daughter Isn't Talking Yet.

Updated on September 02, 2008
T.S. asks from Spring Valley, IL
25 answers

I have a very smart little girl who understands everything I tell her. She can sign several words: cup, eat, bath, please, change, up, etc. (she's even making up her own signs for things) but she won't say anything except "up" when she says cup, even though when we sign to her we always say the word. I have been dying for her to say mama, but I've never even heard her say the mmm sound. Sometimes she does babble, but it's never directed at anyone or anything. My sons were right on cue, but this baby girl is giving me a run for my money on everything from not talking to NEVER sleeping to learning to walk at ten months. I know girls are harder than boys, but I'd always heard they learn to talk first. Am I just paranoid?

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T.K.

answers from Chicago on

To T. S, If the doctors have not found anything wrong with her hearing, I personally would not worry. My daughter did not start speaking until just after 18 months. She potty - trained right at 18 months! She is a nine-year-old intelligent, sweet, "old soul" today and excels in reading and spelling in school. Some children just do not have much to say until they can articulate in their way. good luck, Tra- SAHM in Plainfield, mother of 4

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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

Have you ruled out a hearing disorder? Not to compare between siblings. There are so many variables for children's progress, I think it's too early to be concerned, but mention it to her doctor.

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B.M.

answers from Bloomington on

Hi T.,

As a speech therapist and mom to two I can tell you that recently my now 29 month old underwent an Early Intervention speech eval (yes speech therapists kids aren't all perfect talkers...how embarrassing though to make the call!)....anyway at the time of the eval he was 27 months...and could only say about 10 words...and they weren't super clear...and HE DID NOT QUALIFY...they use a percent delay and he didn't meet the criteria...yes, his expressive speech was behind but not enough to warrant therapy, his receptive skills were just fine and there were no other developmental concerns...from what you describe that she may or may would not qualify (they really have to be so far behind to meet criteria) and she is just approaching the time that many children really start to use and experiment with sounds and words....the fact that she is using some words (babbling counts!) and making signs indicates she does understand that speech and gestures are ways to communicate...ask your pediatrician at her 18 month visit and if you're still concerned of course get a referral to EI...but know she is very typical, especially as the youngest of three!

Keep talking to her, labeling items, saying things like "blue ball" or "big puppy" etc...keep it simple and related to things she can see/touch/play with etc. Look at books and describe the pictures in simple descriptive words- of course just keeping a running commentary while you're doing all the daily chores is the easiest....with 3 kiddo's I'm sure you don't have tons of free time or time 1:1 with her....I have two and can't imagine a third!

And I'm happy to report that my son is really starting to explode with new words almost by the hour and stringing two and three together sometimes...yeah!

B.

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E.J.

answers from Chicago on

I know the feeling! I have a 21 month (18 months adjusted for prematurity) that is the exact same way. Developmentally things have been relatively on target, but slower at times, and a lot of the time people want to say it's because of his prematurity. My opinion...he's on his own time table for his milestones. He started walking more than just a few steps at 17 months. We tried and tried, becoming frustrated, discouraged and as you have spoken about, worried that something was wrong. Given the time he needed, he's a walking/running pro now. He just did it in his own way and in his own time. Talking is another slower developmental issues for him. He babbles up a storm all the time and does say Mama, Dada, giggle, but not much else. He knows lots of words, can recognize words when we say them, and has sportically said words, but never consistantly. We just had his 18 month well baby check, and even with his prematurity being taken into consideration (he's never been very far behind on his milestones), our pediatrician is not worried about his being a bit slower in this area. Her thoughts were that he does babble and it sounds like he is using sentences and inflection, he just isn't using the words yet. The pediatrician told us not to worry and that if we were still at the same place in three months at his next check-up, then we might consider looking into getting a specialist to see if there are any specific issues at play. I guess what I have been trying to do, and this is said with full knowing of how hard it can be, is to sit back and let him be. He's learning and developing, just at his own pace. I am learning to respect it and that is on some levels freeing for me. Mommies will always worry, but our children will always surprise us, especially when we least expect it :)

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

As a former speech therapist and now a mom, I can say with confidence each child has his/her own unique developmental path and there is a huge range of normal. What you describe is your daughter laying the perfect foundation for speech *for her* and it will come in its own perfect time. Also in my experience early walkers tend to be the later talkers and vice-versa. They're so physically-focused the speech can take a backseat for a while.

And keep in mind there *are* risks to seeking early intervention for a perfectly normal child (and delayed children as well)- labels, behavioral manipulation, and feelings of not being right or good enough or needing "fixing." I'm much more sensitive to this aspect of it now being a mom than I was as a practicing therapist before I had kids. Trust in your child's perfection and trust in your gut feeling about this (not your "paranoid letting worry sneak in" gut feeling, but the real Knowing gut feeling). You know your child best!

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

Every child is different, and because she has the sign language, she may put off talking since it doesn't seem necessary. The fact that she says "up" for "cup", I think, means everything is fine, and she'll start vocalizing words when she feels like it. My son still only had about five words he knew by the age of 20 months - "gog" (dog), "dight" (light), etc. You have lots of time to worry about her - don't start now! She's fine! :o)

I do think one of the hardest things about being a parent is the temptation to compare your children to others and worry if they're not at the same place as the rest. But everyone is not in the same place - every child is different, and in that way, your little girl is NO different. There's no manual for children, so just enjoy the ride!

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

There was a discussion about speech delays at 15 months just last week -- you may want to take a look at it for some of the advice.

Our pediatrician said that the base speech guideline at 15 months of age is the ability to say 3-5 distinct words -- and my son cannot do this. The Dr. wants us to call "Early Intervention" and have his speech development evaluated to see if he is eligible for some speech therapy assistance.

The Pediatrician also gave him several requests to check his language comprehension. She said that it is clear that my son's language comprehension is where it should be, so she is not concerned about any mental or physical deficiencies. Furthermore, she said that research indicates that speech delays, without comprehension issues, have no correlation to intelligence or bearing on future success (not that we were worried about this.)

Talk to your Pediatrician next month at the check-up. But since your daughter's language comprehension is excellent, I would try not to worry too much. All children just do things in their own time -- and it won't ever matter that she wasn't talking at 14 months!

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T.K.

answers from Chicago on

I posted the same question when my son was 15 months old and he would only say ma-ma and da-da but he would understand everything else we would say and point to it, Like where is your nose and he would point to his nose, well not long after my worries, he had a word explosion! Do not worry yet... give it a little while longer and then you will be wishing they didn't talk.... Because then you hear mommy over and over and over again. I Love it! Good luck and be sure to let us know what happens.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi T.,
My daughter is 18 1/2 months old now and is talking up a storm. That being said - she was very much like your daughter at 14 months. She has only been saying mama for about 2 weeks now. The focus on learning words and talking has only been here for 3-4 weeks. I think your daughter is fine. Kids just do it in their own time. Two theories I heard that made a lot of sense to me may to you too. One I heard is that babies do not say "mama" as an identifier for you because she still thinks she IS you. This sounded weird to me at first, but when we asked my daughter who "dada" was, she pointed to her dad every time. However, when we asked her who "mama" was, she would point to me sometimes and to herself sometimes. Her name is Evelyn btw, so no sound confusion there. The other theory I heard from my pediatrician was about signing. I realize I am risking being viciously corrected by saying this one, but it's what my doctor told me and in my child's case I think it applied. My daughter signs as well and our dr. said she may not have spoken earlier because she didn't have to. She had other communication means by which to get her needs across. So there you have it. I think your daughter is a-ok and sounds adorable :-)
Best,
Mary Claire

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the previous poster. If your daughter still doesn't have a few words by her 15 month appt ask for a script for an evaluation through Early Intervention(you don't necessarily need their ok-but it does help to have them on board bc you need prescriptions for therapy from them). IMO(as a mother and EI provider) it's better to be safe than sorry. It's especially important to take advantage of speech services through EI if they are needed because it's very hard to get insurance to cover it unless their is a medical diagnosis.

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L.N.

answers from Chicago on

My son is 14 months too and understands what i'm saying but he doesnt talk either. He tries to say duck and dog at least thats what I think he is trying to say, but i'm not worried about it. My son is too alert and smart for me to worry about this. I also have a nephew who did not start talking till he was 3yrs old. My friends son did not talk till he was 2yrs old, and another friends daughter did not talk till she was 18 month old. Too much stuff to worry about so i'm just gonna keep trying to show him and we will see what the ped says at his 15 month appt. YOu know take it one step at a time. I know easier said than done. I use to worry about everything but I realized I was putting too much stress on myself and on my son, and he was picking up on that.
I"m sure she is going to speak when " she wants" to speak, so dont worry about it, esp since you say she is a smart cookie.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

At your 15 month appointment, ask your pediatrician to refer you to Early Intervention. Our son is currently seeing a speech therapist because he, too, wasn't saying really anything at 15 months. They will assign you a case coordinator and do a home visit where they test to see in which areas your child is demonstrating delays. Don't worry about the 'test' though; they basically bring a bunch of toys for your kid play with (stacking rings, manipulatives, a baby doll, among other things), and make observations through their interactions with your child. My son had so much fun during his evaluation!

After the evaluation, they will determine whether your child is demonstrating a delay and make arrangements for therapy if necessary. Although the therapy sessions are not free, they are based upon your income and a 'sliding scale' is used. You also have the option to have All Kids cover the costs, but since our family is not eligible I don't know much about that.

Our son qualified for an hour weekly with a speech therapist and it has been wonderful. I'm not the type of mom who wants her son to be reading War and Peace and giving dissertations at the tender age of 18 months, but I did want him to be speaking at a 'developmentally appropriate' rate for his age. The therapy sessions are great because not only does our son learn more, I also get to watch the therapist and learn how I can help my son.

I know there are some moms out there who just say "outgrow it; they'll talk eventually". To me, I felt there was always the possibility that this developmental delay could snowball into other issues and make things worse as he gets older (I'm a teacher and have seen what happens to kids whose parents ignore their early signs of difficulty, then hit the panic button in high school when it is much more difficult to get back on track).

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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

Girls usually talk first. But regardless of gender, if you are worried, call a speech therapist. All she needs is one appt to evaluate her. They will tell you if there is a genuine speech delay or its nothing to worry about at this point, setting your mind at ease. It has nothing to do with intelligence and does not mean there is anything wrong with her.

Chances are she simply gets what she wants without speaking. When my nephew had a speech delay, speaking NOTHING at his second bday, all he went to was one visit and they diagnosed the problem. Relying too much on signing and a bigger problem of older siblings, parents too, not requiring some basic attempt at speech before giving him what he wants. But he was older than your child, so it may be different.

In any case, it cant hurt to call over to a speech therapists office. They may say right over the phone that she is too young to worry about anything, or they may have one visit to evaluate her and then you go from there based on what they say. There is no point in sitting around worrying when you can resolve either the worry or start to work on resolving the problem.

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

If she knows sign language, she really does not need to speak (in her mind anyway). She can already communicate so why bother, right? If you really want her to say MAMA first though, make sure you refer to yourself often. Typically, kids says DADA first because that is all they hear - where is Daddy? When is Daddy coming home? Oh, is that Daddy? My kids both said MAMA first because I always talked to them about me! Mommy is going to change your diaper now. Come to Mommy for tickles! Mama is going to go potty, be right back!

If you want to get her to talk, cut down on the signing so she has a reason to speak.

Good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Chicago on

I would not be worried at 14 months.

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

First of all who ever told you girls are harder didn't have them I suppose. I have two girls and a son and from my experience and that of my mother the exact opposite was true.

Anyway, have you talked to your pediatrician? Have you had her hearing tested? Did she have frequent ear infections as an infant? Does anyone talk for her..like the older children?

All could be a factor and no you aren't paranoid. Better to aire on the side of caution and investigate.

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C.T.

answers from Chicago on

I have two questions, Do the older siblings do most of the talking for her? Have you had her ears checked by the ENT? Maybe she is in need of tubes.

C. T

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I.C.

answers from Chicago on

Don't worry. 14 months is still too young for chatter. My son didn't talk until he was almost 4 and now I can't get him to shut up!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I am assuming she is the youngest. Oh yes. The youngest doesn't usually have to say anything because everyone always does the talking for them. Although if you are worried call Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat clinic. They diagnosed my hearing deficiency when I was a little girl. Or get a direction from your family doctor. I am sorry I don't have a phone number right now.
She sounds normal to me.

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

Early Intervention can come out to do an evaluation for free just to ease your fears or recc services.

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L.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hello T.,
I guess I have to start off by asking the question "Why is your daughter using sign language and why did you teach it to her?" I have worked with the mentally handicapped for 10 years and only people unable to speak are taught sign language as a way to communicate. If you weren't told by a physician that she is unable to hear then sign language is something that should come after she has mastered basic language skills. This should only be used as a educational tool and not as a way to communicate her needs to you or others. You are basically telling her that it is okay to sign her needs instead of verbally communicating them. You need to reteach her now. Whenever she needs something and she signs or points at something she wants, YOU say the word for the item and ask her to say it. Do not give her things when she only uses signing to let you know she wants something, make her talk. Of course she's small and there is no time table to talking, all children are different. My daughter is 17 now but I was really the only one that understood her until she was 2 1/2. She had this jibber jabber talk that I learned to understand while still encouraging her to say the words properly. Eventually it worked and she is a normal kid today, whereas my son, now 4, was talking at 12 months. So my point is you never know but you have to stay consistent so she will know that words is what she needs to use to communicate.

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

My son is 15 months and all he says is hello, dada, woof woof, and uh oh. I talked to the doctor about this on Thursday and she said not be concerned yet since he does understand everything. I wouldn't worry just yet.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

This sounds developmentally appropriate to me but if you have concerns, Early Intervention will do a free global assessment for any child in Illinois under 3 years of age.

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D.W.

answers from Chicago on

My little one is 16 months and is just really starting to talk. Here is the thing, my cousin is a Signlanguage teacher and her husband teaches the blind. They thought it would be a good idea to teach their little girl to sign as well as talk. She really didn't say anything in the way of words till 2 or so and my cousin really regreated her choice. She wished she would of taught her to say the word than sign it. With her little one and mine we get on their level and really express the word with our mouths. They picked up in no time. And, like my cousins little one, she knew the words and was very smart but just got used to signing and wasn't interested in trying any thing new. My advice is stop signing for know and start with one word repeated several times a day. That worked for my cousin.

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J.A.

answers from Rockford on

If you have any questions or concerns about your child's growth and development, call Help Me Grow/Future for Kids helpline at 1-800-323-GROW (4769). They can provide you with answers, and give you an idea of whether or not her development is on target.

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