My 13 Year Old

All I do know- don't leave him to temptation and leave him with younger children alone- unsupervised. Hire someone if you have to. I would not keep talking about it where he can hear as to why you are keeping him seperated- try and make it a positive environment where he is set up for success.
Keep in touch with the therapist- other than that I have no experince in this- thank goodness. Just from watching Dr. Phil before he got too sensationalized.

I know this is awkward for you and scary at the same time. But you have to remember that he is 13. He's going through puberty and having all these new feelings and thoughts. Although he shouldn't have touched a younger child, he needs you to talk about this with him and let him know his feelings are natural and normal, but there are limits to it. If you punish him and send him to counseling, he's going to think there is something wrong with him and this could push him in the direction you don't want him to go. He may continue to do this but just be secretive about it start to threaten whomever he decides to touch. Talk to BOTH of your children about good touch bad touch and let them know that NO ONE touches them in their PRIVATE areas where our swimsuits cover. This includes family and friends! Most schools talk about this now at a very early age. Our school starts this program in 3 year old preschool. I don't think there is anything wrong with your son. No, he shouldn't have touched the younger girl. I agree you shouldn't leave him in a position to possibly try this again, but please don't think he is horrible. Just let him know he can't touch younger children. I have a ten year old son and I know I am soon going to have to start dealing with this puberty thing and it makes me really nervous! But I think your son will trust you more and come to you when he wants to talk if you let him know he can. Good luck! Sorry so long!

Added 4/23
You are doing the right thing, putting him back in counseling. Since he was sexually molested as a child, he may need an additional person to talk to. Make sure he knows he can still come to you. I'll keep you in my prayers!

At that age what he did was totally normal. I think your over reacting. I cant believe a judge would even see this case and the parents of the 7 year old girl are crazy. Are you sure she didn't start it ?

I think you already have some great advice, but I'm going to express my opinion as well.
Okay, he is going through puberty. He is going to be sexually curious. Be careful though. Don't isolate him because he needs to know that you care and you still love him. Going to the counselor is the right thing to do. If you need any more advice or just want a Christian perspective, contact Focus on the Family. They are great! They have a phone line and email just for counseling and talking to anyone who needs help of any kind. They can also tell you books that might help, and can give you ideas to help your son feel more comfortable talking to you about his curiousity.

I hope that he knows how blessed he is to have a mom that cares about him. My cousin was 13 when he got a girl pregnant with his first child, and his mom has made a lifestyle of not caring and letting him do whatever he wanted. He is unfortunate in that he doesn't have parents who care about his actions. I wish more moms of teens cared about the adult that child will grow up to be.

I have to agree with the one person who commented on the girls throwing themselves at him. Your daughter is at the perfect age to have friends that will get all starry eyed over a older guy. I did the same at that age. So talk to him about that as well. You probably need to talk to your daughter as well. I'm not saying he did this, but there is a small chance that he might have touched her or even just watched her. Just talk to her as well. One girl I went to school with got sexually curious at 8 and had sex with her 13 year old cousin. I'm not trying to make you scared or paranoid, but just prepared for the pressures that children and teens face today.

Well, I hope all goes well and that both your children grow up to be well adjusted, happy adults.

Well, I don't want to diminish what he did.. but you were vague about the touching thing, 13yr old boys touching is pretty normal and so is their making bad choices. How young was the other child? Female/Male? Did you freak or talk to him about it? You haven't said anything to make me think he is deviant just curious. You certainly need to reinforce boundaries for him, making sure he understands the consequences that come along with sexual behavior. Not only does he have to worry about pregnancy, STD's and social stigma but now he has to worry about being labeled a sexual offender, so younger girls have to be off limits. You know, this is a really sad comment I'm leaving and really reflective of our society more than your son. Your daughter's friends are gonna make plays for him whether they are too young for him or not...that is something that isn't going to change. Girls love to have friends with big brothers they can lust after (even if it's all innocent) I remember when I was in 5th or 6th grade I would have LOVED having a boyfriend in 8th grade.....that sounds like what is going on here. My now 13yr old daughter always had a crush on older boys and no she didn't spend time alone with them. Because I didn't trust her or the boys to behave..........THEIR KIDS WITH HORMONES!! Your right for being protective of younger children but remember to be protective of your son too. He's a child as well. Maybe your son just made a bad choice, if you are sharing all the relevant info in your post maybe you just need to open up the communication between you and your son. He may need some frank sexual knowledge and a whole new set of sexual rules to live by. All of us go through puberty and do really stupid stuff in the process....even those of us who never got caught. Good luck and I hope your son makes it through all this understanding he is perfectly normal for having sexual urges and curiosity.

I'm really sorry this upset you so much.

First, don't worry too much about the sexual exploration, if that's what it was. It's perfectly normal for kids to be curious about sex, especially when their young bodies are going through so many changes. There really isn't any need for concern unless he was acting like an adult. Reassure him that you love him and that he's normal, and go to the therapist with him. It will help you both understand what he's going through.

As for the child care, see about making friends with some of the other mothers at his school. Ask your kids' teachers. Inquire at church, if you go. Or check the neighborhood for a high school or college student who is willing to help out for a bit less than daycare. If you have someone to watch them both at your home or their home, then you can use the money from daycare to pay them instead.

I wish you the best.

I do belive that you have to make sure that your son does not do anything to harm younger children, physically or mentally. But keep in mind that he may have just been curious. Therapy was a good idea for you son, but have you had any one talk to your daughter? So that she can be protected. Not just from any one close to her, but also a stranger. There are programs that she can attend to teach her about good touching and bad touching and how to tell a good stranger and a bad one.

Have he did this before?

I have one question about this - when he touched the other child, did he do it in private? If he did it in private then it would seem he knew it was wrong. Doing it in public would show that he didn't have an understanding that the action was not one he should be doing.

You are doing the right thing by putting him in counseling. If he was molested when he was younger then he needs a therapist to help him deal with that. He may not have much recollection of it but, without therapy, it could really impact him throughout his life.

Be sure you talk to him about this multiple times - one conversation is not enough. Make sure he understands that you love him and are not passing judgement. Explain that it is normal to be curious about his body and others but it's not acceptable to touch someone in their private places.

Good luck to you. I hope everything with your son works out.

I really don't want to be alarmist, but no one has mentioned that your son may have had this "innocent touching" happen to him. My training is in Social Work and you did the right thing to arrange for him to talk to a counselor. It is NOT a punishment. It may have been as simple as curiosity or it may have been more serious. Everyone asked the right questions - how old was the other child? was it only once? Some states require that ANY touching be reported to the authorities. If so, the counselor can help you further. I would not brush this off as innocent, nor would I punish him. Take a deep breath and follow up with the counselor. You're doing the right thing.