My 11 Year Old Wanting a Cell Phone..

I feel your pain, we've been dealing with this too. We explained that when she needs a phone she will have one. Now when she ask for one, we just ask her, "Why do you need one?" She hasn't been able to give an answer yet. When she does, we'll consider getting her one.

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Hi C.~ I have a son that is 11 years old that I got a cell phone for when he was 10. It gave him a sense of responsibility knowing that he had to take care of it and behave or he will get it taken away. As long as they abide by the rules I don't see a problem with it. Good Luck!!

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ABSOLUTELY 100% agree with you. I WORKED for a pager place when I was 16 and I still had to pay the bill. LOL I am saying yes til she is 13 or maybe the cheap throw away phone that she pays for.

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I would hold off as long as possible, it creates more problems in the family. They don't listen as well when they have a cell phone. They are distracted too much. They also text inappropriate things they would probably never say personally to each other. They learn too much from the cell phones. We got it for the purpose of being able to reach them too, but they are too young at this age in my opinion. Also, they often end up texting and not talking which I think is very anti-social. We have 3 kids and our bill is almost 200 a month. You will save yourself a lot of heartache and money if you hold off.
I know you have to do what is right by your family, but I'd wait at least until High School to allow this.

Our kids have to give us their phones at 9:30 pm because we found their friends were calling at all hours until 12 am or later. If you do so, make a contract with specific rules and take it away when it is not followed. Let your child know from the start that it is a privilege and that you will read the messages and find out who is calling. It is our responsibility as parents even though they try to guilt us by saying we don't trust them.

Take care,
K.

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I would agree that you should wait. It is an unecessary luxury for kids that age. They don't need it. It would just end up being an expensive unecssary toy for her. My daughter is 13, almost 14 and of course begs for one. Once she is 16 and is driving, she will get one. And even then, it will be a basic tracfone, pay as you go phone that will only be used when she absolutely needs to. I think that it's so ridiculous how kids these days waste all their free time on their fancy cell phones. This generation of kids is going to grow up having no idea how to properly socialize with others. It really is a sad thing. Good luck with your decision.

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From a mom with two teenagers, I would wait as long as possible. My children had one at Ten years old because when they went to their dads house he would not let them call me(ever). I felt it was necessary at the time... Since then it has turned into a nightmare of non-stop texting (hundreds to thousands a month) if allowed,gossip and an array of problems that would never happen if they didnt have a personal phone. (I dont think kids these days even use the phone for verbal conversation). Almost every child in Jr. High has their own phone so it is hard for the ones that dont (peer pressure)! I am also a stay at home mom and I have two great children that get good grades and have great friends. With that being said... I have set limits, check text, know their lock codes and dont allow ANY use at school (unless emergency) and it is still a nightmare. Good luck holding out as "parent pressure" is difficult. But from one mom to another you are saving your child and yourself alot of stress and money. =0)

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Don't cave in to her pressure. We have 6 kids and our oldest will be 13 on Sunday and our kids don't have cell phones. First of all, it's another monthly bill that isn't necessary and expensive. We learned from our babysitter's family to hold off on a cell phone til the kids are in high school. My daughter survived her first year of Jr. High without one. She borrow's mine if she needs to text friends and stores their numbers on my phone (which is a great way to get a hold of her friends). We also let her get an email address in 6th grade and now she can "twitter" her friends which is a lot like texting, but only free. We set up a "family safety email account through hotmail - Microsoft - and it's free and very safe. She still would love a cell phone, but is happy to twitter for now. Stay strong. They may not appreciate it, but will be more mature and responsible once they get one.

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Hi C.!

We go through the same thing with our 11 y/o dtr. Santa Clause gave myself my first cell phone at 37 y/o and our oldest at 16 y/o when we recognised the convenience of reaching him with sport practices finishing at diff. times, and after school needs varying... Some would argue that the waves they produce are bad for you and more research is being done here. Children are keeping them on them at all times and sleeping with them by their heads... I've found my oen son textinga about 2 am about nothing! We have him drop it off at the end of the day in the kitchen to recharge and then he is allowed to get in am. My dtrs. friend just got the newest craze phone with all the bells and whistles. We were recently at a party at her home, and I noticed she was texting more than spending time with the friends around her. I sat in Urgent Care once, and while I chatted and read to my children, I couldn't help notice another family totally plugged in and disengaged from one another. Being in health care and working with peds, I read a lot of info. that is pointing to tech. causing a disconnect from self, each other and nature/God.
Even here while I respnd to you, I recognise I am plugged in and not interacting with my family. Ha! Go figure. I think it's good to have this awareness though and find a healthy balance.

Also, I too worked at age 14 y/o and had to earn extras. Go with your instincts and don't give in b/c "everyone else has one".

Best wishes!

Barb

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Stick to your guns mom. You are absolutely right - no child "needs" a cell phone. We got our son a cell phone on the day he got his driver's license (16 years old). That's when I felt he really needed a cell phone. It will be the same for my other 2 children. Kids today view phones as toys and have no concept of having to pay a monthly bill. I wish more parents would wait to get phones for their kids so there isn't this peer pressure all the time to have what their friends have.

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I agree with you. My oldest is now 15 & got her cell phone when she was 12 but that was becasue she was in after school sports & when practice was over the office was closed & the coaches never stuck around. (it was blocked at that time & she could only call certain people we pit in the phone (grandmas, mom, dad) she didn't get friends put in her phone until she was 13 & then it was a certain # of people.. I think giving your child a phone just casue it is the IN with the other kids is ridiculous it doesn't teach the kids anything about peer pressure etc.. I have an 11 yr old also & she knows she will not get one until she is in after school sports & againit will be blocked just like her sisters had been. (I too do not let my kids go anywere unless I truly know the person or its family) just to many crazies out there.. Good luck in your decision

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I personally believe 11 is too young for a cell phone. Unless she were in a situation that she'd be alone and need one, like walking alone from school or in a sport or something away from you. We wentt thru the same thing w/ my daughter, both my nieces got phones. I just explained to her how blessed she was not to need a cell phone, and that when the time comes...and it will, she will get one. Probably not until she's 16 though.

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Hello C.! I would have to agree with you. My son is already asking for one and he is only 7 1/2 years old. He wants one because a lot of the kids he goes to school with and rides the bus with has one. I too beleive 13 is a good age for a phone. I did'nt get a pager till I was in high school. Does not seem like she is running around to where she would need one. I think she will be just fine for a few years.

S.

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Sounds like you've already very wisely answered your own question, C..

M.

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From the sounds of your situation I do agree. I think she may need one if she walks alone or is away from family for periods of time. My 12 yr old niece does have one and I am not sure if she really needs it myself. She also texts alot and I think as a mother I would have issues with that! My kids are younger so I am no where near this point yet! LOL

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Personally, I think kids have no business having cell phones. Most parents I know say they give kids phones so that they can get ahold of them. Should those kids be anywhere where they can't be reached? Give me a break. The only phone I would get my kids are those that have two call buttons on them. One that dials home and one that dials 911. That's all they need! No texting!

Good luck.

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I think that is too young as well. If she has a house phone and only goes with family or friends then what's the point in the cell? Don't feed her need/want to be "cool". If that's what it is, not trying to be judgemental, but she'll have enough of those issues as she gets older. I got my cell phone from my dad the evening of my 8th grade promotion/graduation. It was something I, too, had been bugging my parents for, but when I got it I was loving it! lol I knew that this was a step towards new responsibilties. I was entering high school, was now 14-15 and had to take care of an expensive thing, or I'd be SOL. If you DO decide to get her something before high school, I would recommend pre-paid, give her the responsibilty of traking her minutes and use them only when needed, not to text or chat 24/7. Idk, just a few ideas. Good luck!

Honestly because she is 11, I don't think she is ready for a phone. I do however suggest doing what I had to do with my two step kids. I purchased them a pre-paid cell phone. obtaining the best one's within my budget and I let them purchase new minutes with their allowance. Sometimes honestly it's good for them to have a phone as I have been known to forget my cell phone and need to make a phone call and have to borrow theirs...but then that means I get to pay for minutes LOL. a pre paid is teh best idea that young. Good luck

You mentioned she's not ready, so to me it sounds like you don't need advice on the decision.
My kids have asked for them as well and I don't see a purpose at the moment, therefore, I have let them know that they can get a cell phone when they are ready to pay for it. I had them research how much it costs for the phone and the monthly fees. They haven't asked for phones since....

I totally agree with your decision. I have an 11 yr old boy and the way you described your child's upbringing is exactly the way I've been bringing him up. I also have a 16 yr old whom I gave a phone at 13 yrs old, so that's the excuse I use with him. Hang in there, the later the better, the way I see it, they already have peer pressure at school they don't need it 24/7. By the way, I have my services with T-Mobile and they have a great plan for parents like us, it's called the Family Allowance Plan. I pay $2/month for this service and it allows me to control her phone usage, ie I disable it during school hours on school days and again at 9:00 pm. On weekends she's allowed until 11:00 pm. Check into it, it's so worthwhile.

Good Luck!
M.

I agree with your instincts. In this day and age it is difficult not to go along with the general population, but listen to your instincts. I think a cell phone is warranted when they are permitted to go places alone, whenever that may be. I don't think at 11, they are mature enough for a phone, texting, etc. When they are ready for a cell phone, there is a responsibility that comes along with it, because now kids are texting all of the time. I see kids walking across the crosswalks texting....a girl fell into a manhole in NYC the other day while she was texting. I have seen Moms driving while they are texting. It is getting out of hand and if parents don't take the responsibility to give phones when the kids are ready and educate them and make rules when they get the phones, then we will have many more accidents.

Sometimes we don't want our kids to have things we feel are 'grown' up things and cells phones are one of those things. Once we let our kids have a cell phone it is a sign they are getting older which we all don't want. We did not feel our son was ready for a cell phone but he has been pestering us to let him have one since some of his class mates do have cell phones. He is only 9!!! So fortunate for him we ended up with an extra cell phone. (We are on a family plan and if I cancelled the phone line it would cost more than to just keep paying the $10 extra a month.) So we decided to give him a test run. The phones now a days do have security features that you can activate and are accessable via security code. Our sons phone we set to only allow it to recieve and call the numbers in his contacts list and he is not able to add numbers or delete any numbers on his contact list with out the security code. So in a sense we control who he can call and who can call him. he has been pretty responsible with it and has not lost it and if his friends try to use it they are not able to so our bill hasn't not gone thru the roof. But it has been a real confidence booster because he is one of the many kids that have a cell phone now. One other option is the way we started my daughter out with a cell phone is we got her a prepaid one and every two weeks we would add minutes to her phone until she proved she was able to keep a cell phone and then we put her on our plan. Yeah I didn't have a beeper until I was able to get one on my own and the kids now a days it seems like a necessity to have a cell phone. Only you know when your child is ready for one and with all the new abilities on a cell phone you also have a lot of control over it to. AFter all you are the one paying the bill.