My 11 1/2 Month Old Won't Sleep Through the Night

I have to respectfully disagree with some of the advice you have been given. I do agree that it sounds like your baby has not learn to soothe himself to sleep. If babies learn to use something to fall asleep, they will need it again in the middle of the night to fall back to sleep when they wake. So the first suggestion is to set an environment that will be exactly the same in the middle of the night - no sounds, lights, bottles or anything that won't be exactly the same every time he sleeps (even naps). Also, don't make a baby overtired - don't skip naps. It doesn't seem to make sense, but an overtired baby doesn't sleep well. Next, set a bedtime routine that is always the same. It can be very simple - just consistent (bath, bottle, song or book, bed) - that will signal to your little sweetie that it's time to sleep. Then set him down in his crib. Pat him, comfort him as best you can and leave - even if he is crying. Let him cry for just a minute or two. Then go back in & soothe him again, but DON'T PICK HIM UP. You can talk to him, pat him, sing to him. Stay for just a couple of minutes & leave again. This time, increase the time you are gone by a couple of minutes. If he is still crying, go in again. Repeat the process, going longer & longer between visits by just a couple of minutes each time. Do this when you put him to bed & do it when he wakes in the middle of the night. Most kids respond very well to this. It is not easy at first for a parent, we all hate to hear our kids cry. But it helps that you go in all the time to comfort. Your son will learn that you are coming back - you haven't abandoned him - but eventually he will decide it's too much trouble to cry long enough to make you come back & he'll fall asleep. If you are consistent, most kids will learn to put themselves to sleep within a week. He'll cry the longest the first time you try this - a little less then next day & less & less until he just goes right to sleep without crying. He will also stop waking so much during the night - if at all. If he cries at night, do the same thing - let him cry for a couple of minutes & then start going in to check on him. This worked wonders for me & my kids. It's been great! Also, I would never start bringing my baby to bed with me, unless you're okay with that also becoming a routine. If you're okay with your kids sleeping with you, then more power to you. But if you want him to be able to sleep well independently, that will only work against you. Good luck to you!

Mine does the same thing and she is 14 months old. It's hard to figure it out although skipping her second nap helps a bit cause she is so tired but she still got up 2-3 times last night. It does get better with time. Make sure they are plenty tired when they go to bed.Maybe you should try putting her to bed at 9:00. 7:30 seems way to early. Try putting a blanket over the window to make the room plenty dark. We had to do this since the early light mornings of summer and the skipping nap I think has helped. She use to do like 5 times a night. Now we are down to like 2-3 times a night. On occasion it's only 1 time a night for a bottle and we are amazed on those nights and take what we can get. Also when my little one is teething she is up a lot during the night. Even if you don't think they are teething, new teeth pushing on the gums can cause pretty bad pain for the little ones and you may not be aware of it. Now sometimes when she stands up in her crib half a sleep in the middle of the night we just lay her back down and give her a pacifier and she is out. This use to not work for us but as they get older they start to adapt to what you are trying to teach them. Most of the time it's just for a bottle now and a little tylenol now and then so she can get back to sleep. Usually waking up frequently is a pain thing, meaning something is bothering them or just a bad habit you need to break such as the laying down with a pacifier. They do cry for a few months but after a while they start to get the hang of it and go back to sleep. It's all training. If sucks because you are so tired for so long but it will get better with time. Just do what I said and it will all work out. Also one more thing, the white noise does help. I invested in a circulating heater-fan. It's just a small heater that sits on the floor by her crib and I turn it on during the night and her naps. It's quiet but makes just a small amount of soothing noise that I actually got use to it and like it. It does block out most noise in the house and outside. Just go to walmart and buy a quiet one that has a fan option so you don't have to have the heat on in the summer time.

I would continue the 7:30 bottle but not the 12 am . You may try giving him water instead of formula/milk. He may have a tummy ache at that time. Try a night light and soothing music. Good luck and let us know what works.

Here is a great site to start with,

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/advice/0071381392.php

Good for you on not wanting to choose CIO!

That's tough. A few things that I've tried with my two boys is:
1) Feed them solids right before bed so they can last through the night. (I realize that at almost 1 year, he's mostly solids by now)
2) Having a night light helps them feel comfortable in their room, and they aren't scared when they wake up in the middle of the night. Everyone wakes up in the night, but we usually just go back to sleep and don't remember a thing.
3) Don't pick him up. This is really hard, because I'm usually super-groggy to the point of feeling sick while I stand there and rub my son's back. And sometimes I can't stand it long enough, so he's not all the way asleep, so he wakes up again and I have to start over.
4) Take him to bed with you. This has been a lifesaver. I have sleep issues, so I need all I can get. We all sleep well together. I hate sleeping with an infant (fear of suffocation or crushing), but at 1 year, my boys were big enough that I felt comfortable. Of course, you could start a bad habit, but when we both sleep in until 9 and he wakes me up with a giggle, there's just nothing better. And maybe he'll just get in the habit of sleeping all night long! My sons never got to where they wouldn't sleep in their own bed again, except when they were sick or that time we lived with my inlaws for a month...
And I haven't tried these (because the other things worked), but maybe it could help:
5) White noise. It blocks neighborhood and house sounds that could be waking your son, and its constancy is soothing and familiar, which could help with going right back to sleep.
6) If he uses a pacifier, make sure he's got one in his bed and can put it in himself.

Sorry if a lot of them are blatantly obvious and you've tried them all. I've been amazed at other women's ideas that seem so obvious to them. That's why we all love to exchange ideas!

Get the "Sleep Lady" book, you can look her up online. The book's called something like "Good Night, Sleep Tight". They might even have used copies at Amazon.com. It sounds like your son is going thru what our daughter was when we brought her home from the orphanage in Vietnam -- bottle dependency. She didn't know how to put herself back to sleep. She thought she needed the bottle to go back to sleep and thus kept waking up throughout the night. We read the book, followed her suggestions and our daughter has, thankfully, been sleeping thru the night for the last 2-3 weeks! Good luck!

I feel your pain. My first son didn't sleep through the night until he was more than 2 yrs old. Every kid is different. I think your bedtime schedule sounds good. One thing I've done is put a tape/CD player in the kids' room and if they get up in the night I just tell them it's not wake up time and I put some music on. It usually helps them fall back to sleep and drowns out any noise that may have woken them. Even the air conditioning or heater coming on can wake them and it can take a long time for them to get used to the noise enough to stay in bed. I usually play a short tape because I don't want my kids to be totally dependent on music for sleeping and because it sometimes keeps me awake. But my sister keeps a CD playing on repeat all night long in her kids' room and it works well for them. When my brother's son was your son's age, they fed him, put him to bed, and if he woke before morning, they would only check his diaper and tell him to go back to sleep. Then they closed the door and let him fuss as long as it took to fall asleep again. He eventually got used to it and would wake in the night, but just play and talk to himself, play his own music toys, and go back to sleep. Just some things to try. I don't think there is any one method that works for every kid because we are all different in what makes us comfortable enough to sleep. Good luck!

let him cry, don't give in. maybe he's stuborn and it will take him longer to get to the point mom's not going to rescue him during bedtime

I wish I had some great advice. My 18 month old wakes up at least once a night just screaming. Her doctor said she is having nightmares, sometimes we let her cry and she calms down. Most of the time I have to wake up and rock her. This is around 2am and I get up at 4:30 to go to work. At his 1 year check up ask your doctor. Mine said there is not much we can do and hopefully she will grow out of it. I feel your pain.

You are right not to let your baby CIO. My best suggestion is to get the book The No Cry Sleep Solution. Don't let other people make you feel like a bad parent for not wanting to let your baby cry. There are other ways to get your child to learn to sleep on his own.

At his age he shouldn't need to eat at all during the night. It will or has become a habit and he will continue the cycle until you break it. He could very well be teething which cause a lot of discomfort at night. Check his gums for swollen or redness, have him take some tylenol at bedtime. If he wakes up try the teething tablets, those would get my son settled back down in a matter of minutes. Don't just give him a bottle as he will think he has to have one and continue waking. Getting him to settle in for the night at his age is very important.
Try thinking about taking the bottle away too, he won't need it after the year mark and it is a HUGE battle if you don't break them of the habit early. It can cause damage to their teeth especially in the night time feedings. Have a sippy cup handy if he is truly thirsty but he doesn't need to eat during the night. Try letting him fuss it out for at least 10 minutes, rub his back, tell him it is time to sleep and leave the room. It stinks hearing them cry but teaching him to soothe himself when he wakes and fall back to sleep by himself is a huge plus for him as well as you! I would bet it is because of teeth coming in!

Hi C.,

I have three amazing kids that are all out of the pre-school era. I can tell you that I didn't have a clue how to get my little ones to sleep thru the night until my third.
I understand the frustration, heartache and exhaustion that you are feeling. My son was just the same. I tried to have him "cry it out" and it ended with me crying from my bed while he stood in his crib screaming "Mommy, Pease. (please) Mommy, pease." Honestly, it's not good for either of you.
You and that bottle are your son's way of being comforted during the night. Let me ask you this... do you put him in bed already asleep? Do you rock him first? Rocking a baby is a wonderful, bonding experience, BUT always put them to bed awake and never let them sleep with a bottle. Two rules that work on a newborn, but can take a lot of work at your stage. A child who goes to bed awake knows and understands where he is and how he got there. One who is rocked to sleep has his last memory of being in Mommy's arms and suddenly wakes in his bed, jolting him from his comfort zone.
I'm just a Mom, not an expert, but I want to share the process that worked for me. It's tough to do, but well worth it, especially on that first full night's sleep. (If you even remember what being rested feels like:)
Step One: Put him to bed awake. Drowsy, but aware of his surroundings.
Step Two: No more bottle or pacifier in bed, and never get him up to give him a bottle (sick babies are the exception.) AAAHG! I know it feels like your only sanity right? It's really a disruption. Once he loses the "Bink" out of his mouth or "needs" his bottle, you're getting up again. So brace yourself for the resistance and be tough.
Every time he screams, cries or tantrums, go to his room and lay him back down. Say to him your "command sentence" gently but firmly "It's time for sleep, son. Night, night Mommy loves you." (That's what I said) He will freak-out, for lack of a better term. Don't bother going to bed... just lay him back down and leave. Don't wait or watch him... leave the room. give him a few minutes to fuss and do it again and again and again. He will get tired and eventually fall asleep. This took me a week. Every single night. Have Dad help with the process so that your son understands that this change is from both parents.
You need to sleep. Lack of sleep contributes to weight, problems, depression, low immunity and various other terrible things.
Good luck to all three of you.
D. B

Do you feed him solid food close to bedtime? Like cereal or a good snack to keep his tummy full until morning? That's what I would try, it worked for my oldest son. His tummy was empty in the middle of the night and he wanted real food, not a bottle, to fill him up.

My dd went through that and most of the time it was teething, ear infections or a sore throat. You could try a little tylenol or infants motrin and see if he sleeps through the night( I reccomend the motrin longer hours). If he still wakes up then it could be ear infection or night terrors. I hope this helps and gl.
Oh yeah the other was gas (try mylicon and see if that helps too)

one thing that is helpful to remember is that we all wake up through out the night, as we get older we learn to just roll over and go back to sleep. your little guy may think that every time he wakes he needs a bottle to get back to sleep. if I was in your shoes the first step i would take would be to soothe him back to sleep with out giving him a bottle.when he cries or wakes up, do what ever he needs to help him get back to sleep without the bottle. once that is going well then you can work on letting him learn to soothe him self back to sleep with out any help from you(and there are various methods for this task as well). this may be an easier route as he is an older baby and at his age he can be a little bit more stubborn about staying awake if things are not going his way, plus you may have less nights of screaming crying if you do little steps at a time. GL! N.

I loved the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Mark Weissbluth. He suggests that kids go to bed too late and are overtired. As a result, they have trouble falling asleep and remaining asleep. Also, what is the scoop with your child' naps? Maybe he is getting too much or way too little sleep during the day. Try pushing the bedtime closer to 6 or 6:30. It is surprising that an earlier bedtime can help!