12 answers

My 10 Year Old and Her Behavior Out of Control

I have a 10 year old that it seems that i can not get any control over. She is not bad it is her mouth and her attitude. I dont know what to do with her as for how to get her to respect me and since her stepdad went to Iraq and her real dad dont seem to have much to do with her. I have tried putting her in time out in her room but it dont seem to work do u have any suggestions

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My son can be the same way, he will go for weeks and be a total angel and then he can be a devil just as quick. And it is usually when he doesn't get his way. Have you tried taking something away, like tv or game priviledges? Sometimes that works for us.

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I have an 11 year old girl the same way; Very mouthy and her attitude stinks. Part of it is due to hormones, part of it to ADHD and the other part I DONT KNOW. I know where your coming from. I have tried grounding her and taking things away but nothing seems to work. Maybe we could come up with something together.

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Have you thought about getting her doctor to test her hormone levels? My daughter is going thru puberty at 9 and she is showing the same type of attitude and behaviour and I have been told that it probably has to do with the up and down of the levels raging thru her. Hope this gives you some help!!!

Hello S. how are you? I too am a military wife. My husband is active duty Army and went to Iraq when our oldest daughter was only 1 1/2. It was very difficult so I sort of know what you are going threw. My sister's husband was also there and she has 6 children. We spent a lot of time together and helped with eachother's kids. Her children more than my own (probably cause the age) did the same thing. Weather she admits it or not this has a lot to do with him being gone. I would try and wait it out. Maybe try and talk to her, but she will only talk if she is ready. She is probably very scared that he won't come home. I know that is hard to think about but you just have to reassure her that it will all be ok. It should ease up once he does come back if not it will stop all together. Just don't let her forget who the boss is. Keep your ground, don't let her walk all over you but ease up on some of the attitude she gives you. Let her know that she isn't the only one who feels this way and you need help from her too to take care of your 4 year old. This will make her feel important. I hope this helps and if you need another military wife to talk to any other time please feel free to contact me.

My 10 year old is the same way! I just take away the things she likes the best and make her do extra chores. She is also in counseling. Good luck!

My son can be the same way, he will go for weeks and be a total angel and then he can be a devil just as quick. And it is usually when he doesn't get his way. Have you tried taking something away, like tv or game priviledges? Sometimes that works for us.

My 10 yr old has gone through this, too. I, too, think age is a factor. I finally got tired of feeling sad about it & forced him to sit down with me, look me in the eye, and realized that he was hurting me. We talked about what each of us feels we fight about the most & how we can change a few things to quit fighting about the same things all of the time! We also tried a penny jar - when he had good days, he got a penny in the jar. At the end of the month (or week) the pennies can change to dollars & we could spend that money on something fun to do TOGETHER! That way we were spending quality time together to enjoy each others company. Make sure of REALLY compliment her when she behaves - let her know you are aware of her efforts to be nice & you aren't always just noticing the negatives. Sometimes the negatives are just to get SOME kind of attention!
Good luck - we are all here for you if you need to vent!!

I too have a 10 tear old and I think alot of it is the age and wanting more independence and what not. I'd try and talk to her to see what's up. We have some pretty good conversations when I go to her asking her to open up to me.

Wow...by reading your request and the responses, I can see that this happens often. I have an 11 year old daughter who is such a sweet girl and she's very caring. But she does have that problem with being mouthy and disrespectful, not to mention that she is ADD. I find it hard to get her to talk to me about what's bugging her. And I remember a time that I felt uncomfortable about talking to my mother about things. She is also not very close to her father. What I do is buy lots and lots of squeeze balls to squeeze the hell out of instead of her. LOL. But I also let her know that I will always be there to talk to her about anything she needs to get off her chest. It is true that she might want some attention....but I know it can be hard when there are siblings around. Counseling is a good thing that I see that was mentioned. Good luck with that...and if you do find something that can better help you than from what I have come up with, please let me know.

IT SOUNDS AS IF SHE IS TRYING TO GET ATTENTION AND CHILDREN DO NOT CARE IF IT IS GOOD ATTENTION OR BAD. HAVE YOU TRIED TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH HER LIKE TAKING HER SOMEWHERE YOU CAN PLAY TOGETHER OR READING AT NIGHT WHEN THE OTHER KIDS ARE ASLEEP. PLEASE DON'T THINK I AM BEING CRITICLE I AM A MOTHER OF THREE AND THEY ALL GO THRU THIS AND HER STEP DAD BEING GONE LOTS OF CHANGES AND SHE NEEDS HER MOM. GOOD LUCK. TRY TO PRAY ABOUT IT SOMETIMES THIS WILL HELP YOU. DEB

My neice started acting that way at the same age. This went on for about 6 months- some days worse than others- until she started her period. After that she was fine except for maybe a week or so out of the month. Getting her hormone levels checked like one of the other moms suggested, sounds like a good idea.

S.,

Being a school counselor, my advice to you is your daughter needs some counseling. When my parents divorced, and my relationship was nonexistent with my dad I did the same thing to my mom. Your daughter is taking her anger and hurt out on you since her father is not around. Counseling REALLY helped me and my mom and I have a great relationship. My mom also encouraged me to confront my dad , I needed for him to hear me. That may not be the best solution for your daughter, but counselor will help. Also in order to get respect you have to give it. I don't know you but I work with a lot of parents whose actions are not worthy of their children's respect. I hope and it sounds like yours are! Good Luck!

S., could be her hormones, but really maybe the fact that her "dad" is in Iraq makes her worry and that is the only way she knows how to express her feelings. Take her to a counselor,let her express herself there, this could be her way of asking for help. Also if it is her hormones, get her active, let her play sports, swim, basketball, whatever is going on right now,this can help with her body image, and the more active you are the less likely you are too start your period early. Also what about Karate, this teaches self respect, respect towards others and it will keep her physically fit.
Keep your head up, I too have a loved one in Iraq and you know that everyday you worry, so think about what she is going through, take how you feel about him being gone and triple it for a 10 year old, she doesn't (more than likely) understand why he is gone for so long. Be there for her, love her and let her know that no matter what you are there for her unconditionally.
Goodluck

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