17 answers

My 10 1/2 Year Old Son Pees His Pants; Advise on How to Help Him Stop

My 10 1/2 year old step son pees his pants during the day; every day! Occasionally during the night too, but generally during the day. He has been to see 2 different eurologists who did x-rays, ultra sounds and other tests, both results; nothing wrong. It does not seem to bother him that his pants are wet and that he and his room smell. He does try to cover it up when it goes completely through his pants but that embarrasement does not stop him from future accidents. I have tried different things hoping it would help him stop such as star charts & other incentives, having him do his own laundry (washing & folding), diapers, grounding, taking things away until he can stay dry for a week...nothing has helped. I did find a psycologist that he will start seeing this week but if there is any advice from you mom's on how to control/stop this, I would greatly appreciate your suggestions. Thank you!

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Have you tried seeing a chiropractor? I remember a child who saw one for that issue since everything is connected.

1 mom found this helpful

Dear S.,
I have known so many kids that do this. And now that you have ruled everything out medically, what I truly think is happening is that he gets distracted or thinks he can hold it longer than he can actually do so. Then finds out the hard way. It's good that he doesn't seem too embarrassed, because you don't want the psychological harm of that. I think, you just have to put him on a pee schedule. In the morning, no breakfast until he pees. Make him go back in before he leaves for school. Talk to his teacher and say that he is to go to the restroom, and pee, before he can have recess. Again when it's time for lunch. Again after lunch. Again somewhere in the middle between lunch and being on his way home. It might be a pain in the rump for a while, but you can't have him wetting himself and I really truly think he's just trying to hold it too long.
I'm glad you are taking him to see somebody. In the meantime, I would say to him that since he doesn't seem to know when he "feels" it's time to go, he will just have to go to the bathroom and try throughout the day on a schedule. That way, it rules out any physical reasons for him wetting. Insist that he take plenty of chances.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

S.
I know what may be wrong. I wet my clothes a lot as a child. Even in middle and high school. The first problem I had was to try to always hold it. The reason I could not is because of what most people dont get until they are old, and it is a very weak bladder. I could never hold it at all if I got to laughing or coughing and there was anything in my bladder. This was looked at like a behavior issue and I didnt learn untill I was well into adulthood that I dont have the same bladder as most. At 37, I can not cough without issues. Doctors will tell you nothing is wrong they did me and my mom all my childhood. If it were my son I would explain that he has to go to the bathroom every 2 hours even if he dosent think he has to go. try on a weekend and monitor him with a timer if he has no accidents because he is sent to pee every 2 hours then you know its that he is trying to hold it too long and then doesnt have any chance to make it.
Hope this helps I feel for him!

C.

1 mom found this helpful

Dear S.,
I have known so many kids that do this. And now that you have ruled everything out medically, what I truly think is happening is that he gets distracted or thinks he can hold it longer than he can actually do so. Then finds out the hard way. It's good that he doesn't seem too embarrassed, because you don't want the psychological harm of that. I think, you just have to put him on a pee schedule. In the morning, no breakfast until he pees. Make him go back in before he leaves for school. Talk to his teacher and say that he is to go to the restroom, and pee, before he can have recess. Again when it's time for lunch. Again after lunch. Again somewhere in the middle between lunch and being on his way home. It might be a pain in the rump for a while, but you can't have him wetting himself and I really truly think he's just trying to hold it too long.
I'm glad you are taking him to see somebody. In the meantime, I would say to him that since he doesn't seem to know when he "feels" it's time to go, he will just have to go to the bathroom and try throughout the day on a schedule. That way, it rules out any physical reasons for him wetting. Insist that he take plenty of chances.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

food allergies? my boyfriend wet the bed every night until he stopped drinking milk in his preteens. it was a clear connection for him. good luck, and try to be patient. something is going on here, and he cant feel good about it.

1 mom found this helpful

Take your son to a chiropractor. Chiropractic has had many successes with this. Dear Abby once had an article about it many years ago. It is certainly a safe and drug-free approach to try.

1 mom found this helpful

Have you tried seeing a chiropractor? I remember a child who saw one for that issue since everything is connected.

1 mom found this helpful

The thing that helped my son was making sure that he was never constipated. Constipation seemed to make the involuntary urination worse.
I never punished my son for wetting his pants or the bed. I hope the psychologist can help.
One teacher made my son pay tokens to go to the bathroom, other than recess or lunch. That made it much worse. I got a note from the urologist, saying that he had a medical necessity to go to the bathroom whenever he needed to.

1 mom found this helpful

Check the school bathrooms with the school. My son didn't go in the school bathrooms because they were dirty! He would come home with(stuff) in his pants too. At home during the weekends maybe you can stay home and set a timer for every 20 to 30 min. and have him go to the bathroom and at least try.
Almost like RE potty training...

1 mom found this helpful

I wrote this a long time ago, but it was helpful and I saved it. I will adjust it to your situation.

It's best to know how your body works. The kidnies are filters. Around 2 hours after you have liquid you have to urinate--it takes about 2 hours for our bodies, mostly kidneys, to process the liquid. Know how long your body takes--some more--some less. Go to the bathroom before then. And when you do go, empty your bladder. You can do this by pushing on your lower abdomen (learn where your bladder is). By pushing, you are emptying you bladder. Before bed, have any drinks early enough to compensate for time. Right before sleep, empty your bladder.

Since your son is aware of what's going on he can do "habit training" Basically what he'll have to do is get in the "habit" of going to the bathroom. It's okay if he doesn't urinate. The point of actually being there is to start the "habit". An easy way to do this is get a digital watch with an alarm that is set to sound every hour or two, and just go every time the alarm sounds.

When it comes to bed time, do what I explained in the earlier post. If you want, you can invest in one of those bed wetting alarms for parents. I understand they work, but are very expensive so I wouldn't feel it was worth it.

1 mom found this helpful

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