Moving to Big Boy Bed Need Advice.

Updated on May 23, 2008
T.A. asks from Hudsonville, MI
27 answers

Thinking about moving my 3 1/2 y.o to a big boy bed and wondering what has worked for others. My son currently plays with his 2 stuffed animals for about an hour each night after we put him to bed. He will sing songs and just talk to his little buddies for nearly an hour each night and then fall off to sleep. I am concerned b/c now there will be nothing stopping him from getting out of bed for that hour. Wondering what advice you could give me before we start this grand adventure. Also I would like to add that he does NOT want to change to a different bed. He wants to stay in his crib. Whenever we talk about it he will say, "I want to stay in my crib, I like my bed." It is just difficult for when we go on vacation or something like that b/c he can not be in a pack-n-play anymore and clearly we can not take a crib everywhere we go.
Thanks.

Thanks, T.

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T.F.

answers from Detroit on

Wow I wish mine had stayed in his crib til 3.5 years old heh. Anyway when he started climbing out of the crib last summer we converted the crib in to the toddler bed since it had that option. I know every kid is different but it took us a reallllly long time to get him to stay in bed. Just recently we moved him to a new room in to a twin sized bed because we're expecting again in October and wanted that transition out of the way, way before the new arrival. I wish I had advice for you on how to switch him since he doesn't want to move. Best of luck to you.

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R.A.

answers from Kalamazoo on

You might want to try putting the big boy bed in his room if you have the space. Let him get used to the idea of the big boy bed; maybe he will eventually ask if he can sleep in it.

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L.N.

answers from Benton Harbor on

My son doesn't like change, either, but the bed change came pretty easily. I like Liz's idea below, if that is possible. I think we'll try that when the youngest is ready to transition. Other than that, I can only think to push the bed against a wall and put a rail on the other side, maybe it will feel more like a crib to him.

Good luck...and if you find a great solution...please share!

~L.

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L.G.

answers from Detroit on

Before we got our son his big boy bed, we just had his crib. It was not the sort that is meant to change as your child grows. I just took off the side that went up and down and lowered the springs as far as they would go. That way, he still had his crib, but it was a big boy bed too. We never had a problem with him getting out of bed after we put him down.

I hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.L.

answers from Benton Harbor on

Let him pick out a cool new comforter, maybe with a favorite character on it. Tell him it can only go on the big boy bed. Right from the start, set firm consistent limits about staying in bed. If he gets out, just quietly and calmly return him to bed and just a brief reminder of the rule. He might try getting out a couple nights but as long as you stay calm, firm and consistent with the rule he will learn it.

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

Is he still in a crib? We moved my son to a bed at just over 2. It had a guard rail and he didn't really figure out that he could get out for almost a year. At 3 1/2 he is old enought to tell to stay in bed. You'd be surprised how easily they adapt. My son loved getting into the big boy bed. When we moved a year later he got a new bed frame and a bigger mattress and he thought it was super cool. Let him help get the bedding and make a big deal of it. Then tell him, big boys stay in bed.

Good luck.

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

Are you turning the crib into a bed? If not maybe put both in the room to get him adjusted. My daughter was not ready but my husband just did it anyways. It was an adjustment but what I did is put a body pillow against the gate (to keep them in) this helped her feel more cozy. We also told her she can not get out, that she has to call us to get her out of the bed. This has helped because I was afraid she would wander the house at night.

If he is not climbing out yet maybe you should wait a little bit longer.

Good luck,
K.

Ps my daugher does the same thing. she sings, has to have all the animals and books in her bed. finally she goes to sleep. :)

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C.E.

answers from Detroit on

My son likes to help (2-1/2 yrs)... he's in his big boy bed, and he kept saying no at first as well - I asked him to help me put the toddler bed together. Granted it took an hour longer than it should have probably, but it got him excited about the bed.

As for staying in it - all I can say is good luck. I'm honestly back to rocking for naps; night time is easier, but we read a lot of books first while he's laying in his bed.

Good luck!

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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

Hi T.,

Does your son like Spiderman or Thomas the Tank Engine? The reason I ask is because for around $40, you can buy online a bed topper to put over a twin bed. My son loves Thomas and I got him the Thomas bed topper at Etoys and after 5 months, he still loves it. This topper has been one of the best investments we've made for our son. Whenever we have new friends visit, the first thing he shows them is his bed and all of them so far have asked their parents for a topper too. This topper made the transition from toddler bed to twin bed so easy. I have no problems with my son ever going to bed because it's like a retreat. He keeps his stuffed animals and his favorite blanket in his bed and some books. I also put a side rail on the bed so that my son wouldn't fall off and the other side is up against the wall. The topper can also be used as a playhut.

MC

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L.M.

answers from Detroit on

Boy does this sound lke my dtr. She was still in her crib at 3 1/2. She LOVED her crib and didn't want anything to do with her bed. What worked for us was we moved her bed into her room with her crib and put the crib rail down and pushed the crib up against the bed. She thought this was great fun as she could go from her crib to her bed whenever she wanted. The first 2 nights she slept in her crib, after that she choose the bed. Just make sure you lock the wheels on the crib so it can't move. After about a week in a half, we took the crib down and mom cried :(. It's so sad to see your baby is growing up...I hope that helps..
L.

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E.A.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter LOVED her crib, so when we moved her out of it when she was 2, we bought a toddler bed and canopy from IKEA. Now she LOVES her bed. The canopy makes her feel cozy and secure, just like the sides of her crib did. She gets out of her bed when she's in there at bedtime, but she always gets back in and falls asleep. And in the morning, she won't get out of her bed until I come in and get her. The canopy was the key to making the situation work. We made a big deal about it, too, going to Ikea, getting some lunch there, letting her play in the kids area. We got the toddler bed, canopy, and mattress (which is not the plushest mattress, but it works and she doesn't complain) for less than $120. The sheets for it (only available from Ikea, are $5 each. We didn't get the coordinating comforter, pillow, etc from Ikea, though; we just use our own blankets. She doesn't stay UNDER the blankets anyway. :) Here's a link to the bed tent and a picture of what we got:
http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/40099056
Good luck! I stressed and stressed about moving our daughter into a big girl bed, but she was fine from day one! That was such an answer to prayer.

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J.M.

answers from Grand Rapids on

We used the super nanny technique with our first daughter.
When they come out of their room~ kiss them, walk them back in and put them in bed, say goodnight, and leave. After that you just walk them back in without saying anything. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES IT HAPPENS!

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D.S.

answers from Detroit on

Hi T. -

If you are going to buy (or already have) a new bed for him (instead of a crib that converts) and if you have the space in his room, you can try this: set up his new bed, use it for reading him stories before bed, etc..but continue putting him in his crib to sleep for the first few nights. If he still takes naps, ask him every afternoon if he wants to try sleeping in his new bed. Continue to ask him every afternoon (and soon every night, too), but don't push him. Eventually, he'll get so used to the bed that he'll begin playing on it by himself, and will hopefully surprise you one of these days by asking to sleep in it. Once he does decide to sleep in it, though, leave his crib up for a week or so until he is good and used to it, otherwise he may get really upset.

Another thought - maybe have him tuck his stuffed animals into the big boy bed...And if you haven't bought a new bed for him yet, take him with you to pick it out. Also take him to pick out new sheets, pillow, blanket, etc..that way he's more likely to sleep in it if he got to help pick it out.

good luck
dana

ps - before you let him loose in his big boy bed, make sure that his room is safe for him, for if and when he does get out of his bed

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A.I.

answers from Lansing on

T. hey there yes with all five of my girls we went from our crib to a reg twin bed at 18 mo to 2 yr we keep everthing eles the same we read our books song our song and some played with there teddy bear or what ever then they went to sleep he could mostlikley get out of the bed if he wants to if that becomes a problem some use gates to keep them in there room i just walk or carry them back to bed all i say it bed time kiss them and put them back to bed well good luck

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L.J.

answers from Detroit on

try a toddler bed that uses his crib matress, then he might feel more comfortable. we bought our daughter one at toys r us and it had sides on it so she wouldn't fall out and it was low to the ground. it was about $90, and worked great for us, though yoru son might be getting too old for it, my daughter started sleeping in it at 2 1/2 untill she was almost 5, now she is in a real bed.

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B.P.

answers from Saginaw on

We moved our twin boys to a bed at around age 2, and kept the cribs in their rooms next to the new bed. We let them play in the big boy bed and crawl up and down until they got used to it and comfortable. One son started sleeping in his the same day; the other one took about a month before he was ready. One day, he just crawled up there at nap time and that was that.
We didn't disassemble the cribs until we were sure the beds were going to work out; you don't need to deal with that in the middle of the night, trying to put the crib back together.
One boy does get out of bed several times a week in the middle of the night to come and get me, usually for more water or can't fall back asleep. I just carry him back and put him back in bed. Not much you can do about it and he will outgrow it. The other boy doesn't ever get out of his bed and still wants me to pick him up in the morning (2 1/2) and lift him out.
Just be consistent and if your son gets out of bed bring him right back with minimal talking; "It's dark outside, it's still night time." That's usually all I say. Good luck.

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R.M.

answers from Saginaw on

I can only share what worked for us. We put the bed in my daughter's room before we planned on having her sleep in it. We just wanted her to get used to it being there. I really think that was key for us. We talked about it being her bed; that her crib and her bed were hers. I didn't want her to feel that we were 'taking away' the crib (when actually my son was due soon and we needed her out :) ) One day for nap, she wanted to sleep in her bed instead of crib (she was 18 months). The age might make a difference for you, but my daughter also has her own little routine after we put her in her bed, like sing, look at her books in bed and will occassionally get out of bed. If she gets out of bed, we don't go in there right away, we give her a little time and then go in and gently put her back in the bed and kiss her goodnight. Be confident that it will work. Good luck.

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B.B.

answers from Detroit on

Move all toys BUT those favorite 2 toys out of the room.
Tell him to stay in bed and if you hear him moving around in the room, go in and put him back in bed.
Close the bedroom door till he's asleep so he can't play peek aboo...
Make sure that all outlets are covered and any dangly drape/ curtain/ blind cords are up out of grasp.

Basicly put him in there, let him do his thing. Don't make it torture, but don't make it fun. :-) Stress the staying in bed thing. It will probibly take a few nights so if you have stairs you may want to baby gate them to deter the possible night wanderings.
I also don't have night lights or any thing like that in the room. Its hard to amuse yourself in the dark.

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M.B.

answers from Detroit on

ok, this may not be 'conventional' (but I do have professional background in early childhood!).
but when our son was 23 months, we 'needed' his crib for our next baby...we actually tipped the mattress off of the brackets so the back half laid on the floor. I explained to Cole that the bed was broken, and that daddy needed to fix it....but in the mean time, we had his new bed ready to go as an option (daddy is kind of slow in fixin' things!). Cole quickly became settled in the other alternative (i.e. his real, new bed) before daddy got to fix his crib!

By the time baby Ben came around a month later, the crib was 'fixed', but big brother had no intention of leaving his new bed!

Oh, and by the way, we had the toddler bed set up in the nursery, so room changes were not necessary. first things first: adjusting your child to a new non/crib bed may work best in the same room!

best wishes! your big boy should do great.

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T.K.

answers from Detroit on

Don't sweat it :) It's true there is nothing stopping him from getting out of bed, and true that he will in fact get out of bed - for a bit. Simply say something cheerfully informative like "Sorry, Honey, it's bedtime! Time to stay in bed now. Goodnight!" You'll probably put him in bed at least 10 times the first few nights, but he'll get it.

My six were all in "big" beds by the time they were 12-18 months so you may encounter some issues due to his age, but I don't think they will be appreciable. If he is moving from a crib, put the top matress of the "big" bed on the floor for a few days or a week, so if he rolls out no big deal. Then add the boxspring for the same. By that time, he should have pretty well trained himself to avoid falling off in his sleep and you can put the bed up on it's frame. Just make sure he can get up and down comfortably in case he has to go potty! (either now or when you start working on it)

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C.R.

answers from Kalamazoo on

My 3.5yr old son plays with his stuffed animals for an hour or more each night too. We had to move him to a toddler bed shortly after he turned 2 because he liked to jump in the crib and it wasn't safe. When we first moved him, he caused a ton of havac with his dresser, one night pulling it onto his head. That night we removed everything out of his room aside from his toddler bed, pillow, blanket and stuffed "guys". It remains that way still. He has a nightlight that he doesn't and curtains at his closet opening that he doesn't bother, although he pulled his window curtains down. He likes his door shut when he sleeps, and we have one of those pressure baby gates that we put up when he goes to bed. This keeps him from wandering around upstairs while we are down in the family room (which he has done when I forget to put it up). He's able to reach over it and open it, and is able to climb over it, but he doesn't. He opens his door and calls for us if he needs us. In this way, we are able to let him have his wind down time in his room, where he is safe and we don't have to sit on top of him waiting for him to sleep. He's even come to remind us to put the gate up when I forget. It's part of his routine, and I think it makes him feel safe, maybe like he's in a big crib.
Good luck with the transition.

C.

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K.K.

answers from Saginaw on

do you happen to have one of those cribs that is convertible? with my crib...the front panel came off, and the mattress board lowered to act as sort of a "day bed". It is a nice transition between big bed and crib. That way he still has the security and comfort of what he's used to with the opportunity to learn to stay in bed even though he is "free".
Otherwise, if you go right to a large bed, make sure you get one of those "net things" that act as a barrier so he can't fall out. Move his current comforter to the top of his big bed, and possibly even tack the bumper pad to the wall, so that his new bed is still familiar.

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H.S.

answers from Detroit on

T.,

I had to move my son who is 2 and a half to a big boy bed when he turned 2 because he wouldn't stay in his crib. Well, in January, my husband and I replaced our bed with a really nice all wood futon to save space ... and it wasn't cheap, it is a quality bed. My son will scale the baby gate, run into my bedroom and lay down on our bed. I don't know how determined your e and a half year old is, but my son has a graco toddler bed, and it's just a plastic bed with some metal parts ... my 2 and a half year old can pick up the mattress, pull it off the frame then throw the frame around his bedroom. I would go straight to a twin bed, that way you don't have to replace the bed a second time like we have to ... they make mesh railings you can put along the side that goes all the way down the length of the bed to help prevent falling out. I would buy him either a twin sized futon or a set of bunk beds that can be taken down and used as two separate twin beds when the time comes. I got my futon at Dragon Lair in Ann Arbor, MI ... it's on Liberty. Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Saginaw on

Hi T., I had this issue with my first born. When I had my second child the oldest was only 21 months old. I took her crib mattress and put in on the floor (not as far to fall if they roll out of bed), then I put up a baby gate at the bedroom door. She cried herself to sleep on the floor by the gate the first few nights, but after that she was fine. Hope this works for you. Tell your son that he is going to sleep in a big boy bed like his daddy. They like being like the same sex parent at this age. Also let him know that he is still "in his crib" because of the mattress. Hopefully he will except this, and get comfort from it. Good luck.

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B.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I just put my 2 1/2 year old in a big bed and she was the same as your son in the crib. She would stay up and talk, sing, play with her feet, whatever, for an hour before she fell asleep. Now that she is in a big bed, I have nothing in the room that she can get into. I told her that if she wanted to stay in the big bed (which she was estatic (sp) to get in the first place) she had to stay in it at naps and nighttime. She has only gotten up once and that was because she was wet. She still sits in there and does her night routine, however, she doesn't step foot out of the bed. I even told her she had to ask to get up in the morning...and she does, for now. If it becomes a problem of him leaving his room, put a child proof doorknob cover on the inside of the door. That way if he does get up, he can't get out and eventually he will get tired and go to sleep. Also, you might want to think about a bed rail if he is really active in the bed and it's high up. Good luck!

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R.W.

answers from Detroit on

By the age of 3 1/2 your son is old enough and big enough to climb out of his crib. So there still is nothing keeping him from climbing out of his bed. Three options are open, 1. Go cold turkey and switch his bed and make him a part of the process, 2. Take the drop down bar off of the crib, if possible, so he can see that the only difference between a crib and a BB bed is the "guard rail" or 3. Buy a regular size twin bed like I did and get removeable "guard rails", that slide under the mattress, to give him the feeling of security that the "rails" of the crib give him. Depending on how his bedroom is set up you might be able to purchase only one guard rail and push the other side against a wall until he gets used to not rolling out of bed. If you can't find a guard rail just place padding around the bed so he has something soft to land on in case he falls out of bed. But no matter which way you choose, once you make the change, stick to it. No matter what/how you do it you need to do it now. Nobody likes change, but some changes are very necessary for a child's growth, both physically and psycologically.

R.

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M.S.

answers from Detroit on

Maybe start by moving his crib mattress to the floor with the same familiar bedding. Doesn't he climb out of his crib?

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