Moving & New Sibling

Updated on July 06, 2008
J.B. asks from Covington, LA
13 answers

Hi Moms!! My husband myself and my two year old son...well 2 1/2 :) have been living here my sons whole life. We are now moving back to our home town to be closer to family. This will all be very new to my son, new home, etc. Also on top of that we are expecting a new baby girl. So my son will be forced into having a sibling 2 mnths before our big move. I'm very nervous as to how my son might take this. Looking to hear from anyone who's been in a situation like this before. I'm not sure of any way I can make it easier on him, our lives are going to be making a HUGE change for him. Thanks!!

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E.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I think you son at that age will probably adapt faster than you Remember he hasa not started school which means he will be making new friends easily one he starts school And probably in a few years he won't even remember the house he is living behing.

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M.N.

answers from Charleston on

I got my daughter involved while I was pregnant, same age as your son, 2.5yr name Olivia. I brought her to my appoinments, she got to hear the heart beat and the dr even let her hold and look for the heart beat with that thing-a-majigger. When the sibbling was born, my sister came to town for a week. Olivia had complete attention from her Auntie and when Auntie left my husband was home for another week, so she always had someone paying attention to her. By the time my husband went back to work, Olivia was adjusting well and still potty training no problem. And I was adjusted to having 2 kids to watch over. Olivia was 3y 3mo when we moved. We lived in an apartment where both kids shared a room and we had no yard to play in. We got Olivia excited telling her she was going to have her own room that we can paint any color she wanter and that she was going to have a yard to play in and her very own play room with all the toys. When we got to our new home at 11pm she was very excited to see her new home. She had not seen it yet as we left her at home with family when my husband and I flew down to buy the house. Get your son exctied about moving closer to grandma and grandpa. When your daughter arrives, let him help if he wants to. Let hime help wash the baby up or pick out an outfit. Good luck to you and get as much sleep as you can.

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H.E.

answers from Spartanburg on

My husband, son, and I moved back from Africa to the US when my son was 20 months. A few months after that we had twin girls. When the girls were 6 months and he was 2 1/2, we moved across the country to SC. It was a whacky time for our family and full of transition. What remained constant for our little guy was us. We were always there. That was the most important thing. My husband was great at spending lots of focused one on one time with him. We acted excited about all the new things, so he was excited, too. We made sure to get his room set up right away, so he would feel settled. I think kids are extremely resilient and get the cues from us. Good luck! Enjoy being back "home."

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A.H.

answers from Atlanta on

As with any new situation in your life, if you are good with it, they kids usually follow suit. It is when you get worried and anxious that the children do the same. Just talk to your child about what is going on and be excited and positive when you do. Congratulations on the new little one and good luck with the move.

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S.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Hey J.,
I just went through the same thing. I was 4 months pregnant when we moved to our new house. My daughter was a little older than 2 and decided to use the potty in the midst of all of this. We were able to take her to the new house once or twice before we moved. We took some of her toys over there (just a few) and put them in her new room so when she went over there she would see something familiar. We talked up the whole thing about moving and really made a big happy deal out of it. And when it came to the new baby, we talked about it but didn't make it out like a huge thing until time got closer for me to deliver. We were real careful not to make her feel left out with her little brother coming. I got a couple of books to read to her that explained some things on her level to her. She did go to the doctor appts with me to hear the baby's heart beat and she loved it. And we bought her a "big sister" present and gave it to her when she came to the hospital and saw the baby for the first time. So we made it out that when her little brother came she was going to be a big sister and that made her feel special. I would just talk it up and make him feel special during the transitions. Keep familiar things around. If he has a night time routine, try to stick with it as much as possible when the baby comes!! Even if that means that someone comes to the house for an hour or so to help you out. I hope this helps.
S.
One of the books we got is "I'm a Bis Sister" by Joanna Cole, She has brother ones too

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K.T.

answers from New London on

Hi J.! I'd like to chime in on the positive notes that the other moms have left. Kids absolutely DO take their cues from parents, so if you are positive and upbeat about the move, and truly enthusiastic, he will be, too. I would recommend giving him so extra time before, during and after the move to make sure that he knows that you're always there for him.

And, I think the best piece of advice I've ever read (even though I only have one child) is that when both children are crying, tend to your older one first. The baby won't know the difference, nor will she remember being "neglected" for a few minutes. Your son, however, may come to resent you always choosing his baby sister because she's younger and can't do anything for herself.

I hope everything works out for you, and I really hope you can pull a positive attitudue for him, and I hope he mirrors it back to you, to show you both what an awesome impact attitude can really have on life and happiness. :D

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L.R.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Hi J.,
We were in a very similar situation as yourself when our youngest child was born. We moved when he was 3 months old, and our oldest had just turned 3. Just try to pay attention to your older child's cues. Make sure to have his loveys close. He will feel comforted by things that are familiar. Try to "play up" him getting a new room, and some of the exciting things that you will be able to do in your new area (ex. zoo, parks, beach, etc.). If he has any really close friends at your current home that he is attached to, you could ask them to come for a visit once you get settled. Don't be suprised if you have some regression in behavior and potty training if you have started this yet. They will grow out of this once they are more comfortable in their new surroundings.

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L.M.

answers from Atlanta on

When you move ino the new house have his room the firs room to be decorated and unpacked.I would pick out thing you wnat in his room and paint picked out and bought

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B.F.

answers from Atlanta on

I've never been in your exact situation but I can hopefully give you a tip to make the move easier for him. Keep him involved as much as possible. Let him help pack some of his own things and help move them into his own room. Just before my sons 2nd brithday we moved. We left him with his grandparents and a couple of days later presented him with a new home and a new room. The first few night he cried wanting to "go home." Also I wouldn't change his decor right away let him get used to the move and have his familiar things around him.

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D.C.

answers from Savannah on

Wow this was my exact situation. I have a little girl who just turned 3 she was my 1st we had our second in March and then just moved in June. Is it possible for you to visit the house with your son, we took my daughter a few times and showed her always making it exciting saying this is where your new room will be ect, we were also able to move a little slower b/c our move was not long distance so I moved some of her toys there maybe a week before we actually made the move and let her play there for awhile in her room. As far as the new baby I think all kids are different.Try to keep his routine as normal as possible even during the move toddlers find comfort in routine. My little girl pretty much ignored her sister we didnt force her to be overly loving ( we were thankful she wasnt acting out in a bad way) she must always be kind ( she calls her yucky sometimes and we make her apologize) I think the best thing to do is act naturally, you will have to spend lots of time with the new born esp if you are nursing like I am, just make it matter of fact oh Im feeding the baby now ect dont make it seem like hes getting less of you, Alot will have to do with how you handle things we tried to remain as calm as possible and just act like normal life. I wouldnt prepare him for the move until maybe 2 or 3 weeks b4 b/c toddlers dont understand time like we do I wouldnt even mention the move until hes adjusted to the baby. Thats what we did that way hes not on change overload. Just remember many people have brothers and sisters your son will adjust just fine you'll see, it may take a week or so but if you dont buy into any of his reactions or dont push him to be involved more then he wants to be and just keep asuring him this is just normal life now he will adjust. Kids are very adaptable,and the move will be ok too. When he sees you packing just say oh this is coming to our new house and we have to get it all ready, if youre getting a big moving truck that should peak his interst too make it fun and cool! Trust me it'll be harder on you trying to unpack with a toddler and new baby than this move will be on him, thats where Im at now. Sorry I'm writing a novel here bottom line just dont make a huge deal out of any of it and stay calm yourself they can sence our anxiety if he sees your relaxed he will be too! Good luck hope this helps!

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J.G.

answers from Spartanburg on

When my son was 2 1/2 he had a new sibling then we moved across several states right after he turned 3. For the most part he was excited about everything and he adapted well. The one issue that we had was that we potty trained him before his brother was born and a couple of weeks after his brothers arrival he quit using the potty. With all the changes in his life it took us till he was close to 3 1/2 for him to be fully potty trained. No amount of stickers or treats worked, potty training just worked one day when he decided he was going to do it. Also shortly after his brother was born for about a week when he was having any type of problem he would try and hit my husband or myself (never the baby) but after a week of time outs he got over it. We just had to keep the disciple the same no matter the changes. We understood why he was lashing out but he had to learn that was completely unacceptable (he had never hit before). One thng that made the move a little easier was his 3rd birthday was right before we moved so we made it a huge party with all his friends and it was also a sort of goodbye party. I would play up how exciting it will be to be closer to family. Good luck and congrts!

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T.L.

answers from Savannah on

My family also moved when my son was 2 and it didn't bother him. He got a new room that he loved and got along fine. It was my 9 year old that had to adjust. I noticed that little ones adjust easier. We did the same things in the new house and town that we did in the old one. Bath time was the same, meals were the same, shopping was the same. The only difference was the layout of the house the look of the town. I wouldn't worry about it. And if it does seem a little hard then take it one step at a time. Good Luck!

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L.K.

answers from Boston on

You're right to be concerned. I'd make sure you talk about how important his big brother role will be and make sure the baby gives him a special gift he'd really like when she comes home. We're actually planning a big move to be closer to family and our little girl is 18 months old. OUr doctor said to get rid of the pacifier prior to the move and before she's 2yrs. So we were lucky she did that last week. We might have another child and the above was the doctors advice to us. Just talk about the baby in your belly a lot and make sure he has some special time with you even after baby 2 comes. Baby 2 will be used to sharing you since it'll be all she knows. If your son gets jazzed about being a big bro, it should be fine. Good luck!

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