Moved!! - Owens Cross Roads,AL

Updated on September 27, 2007
T.H. asks from New Hope, AL
6 answers

We just recently moved and my children had to change schools. They are 12(boy 7th grade) and I have 2 girls which are 9 (4th grade) and 6 (1st grade). They all are saying they hate this new school. My girls have never complained about school. They have always been excited about school but now I can really see a change in there attitude toward school. They just don't want to go. I have talked with them and told them that we have no other choice right now but for them to go to the new school. I have to take them back and forth to see there friends from there old school just to make them happy. They have been there about a month now and nothing is changing. My 7th grade boy has always talked about when he graduates and now all he seems to want to do is give up. I didn't gradute and I regret it to the fullest and I don't want my children to miss out on all the things I did like prom and graduation. What do I need to do to get them more involved in this new school. He has never been into sports . He makes good grades but all he thinks about is playstation games. Thats his sport he says. My girls do want to get into sports but it's not sign-up time for anything right now. I just need a few pointers on how to get my kids to understand we can't move back to where they were. Thank you for any help you can give.

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L.S.

answers from Birmingham on

I am so sorry that your children are having such a hard time. I had to change schools alot when I was growing up because of my dad getting transferred and it was horrible. I felt just like the way you described your children. It is very difficult especially in the 7th grade but it will get better. It took me about a year and half to adjust and find new friends. Also, listen to your kids, and try to help them come up with solutions to their anxiety, I used to get picked on all the time because of my southern accent, and beat up a few times. I didn't want my parents to handle it because it would have made it worse on me, but I wanted them to understand what I was going through. My parents were strict but eventually allowed me to fight back to defend myself, and I never had a problem after that. Side note: the day after I graduated from high school I moved back to our home town and have been there ever since. That was 19 years ago.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from Birmingham on

My experience has been for me to get involved in my child's school. When I make friends with other parents, it has helped my child to feel more a "part of". I also got my child involved in one of the local churches. That helped her make some friends from a smaller, less intimidating group. It helped pull her out of her "shell".

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

wow im not sure how to deal with this but what school are they currently at because i dont want my kids to go there!

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L.J.

answers from Birmingham on

Moving can be h*** o* the kids but they usually adjust quickly. They may each be feeding off of the other's feelings and this is making it worse. If you are confident that the school is a good school with a safe environment and they are around children who are in general in the same family/financial situations, you can assure the children you have made this move with them in mind and they will be fine .. no more complaining. Offer to get them involved in one thing of interest in the school or community to build a new sense on belonging (sports, choir, swimming, guitar, ice skating, just anything they would enjoy).

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S.H.

answers from Huntsville on

Have the kids given any reasons as to why they do not like the new school? Are other kids picking on them? Have they not made any new friends yet? Is it the teachers? Might have to talk to them individually to make sure they aren't just saying what the other says.

If you can get them to tell you the reason, maybe you can help them work through it. Maybe you could also get them to talk to you about anything good or fun that happened at school each day. Get them to talk about something they learned that they thought was interesting.

I hope they are able to get through this and enjoy school again. Let us know how it goes!

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L.C.

answers from Lexington on

Boy does this sound familiar. Please know that your kids will survive this upsetting experience. In the mean time, they will try everything within their power whether it be guilt, complaints or whatever, to get their way and make you move back. First of all you should not let this be seen as something that upsets you. As long as they feel they are getting under your skin...their attitudes will continue. Once they see that their fits aren't getting them anywhere, they will put their energy towards making new friends instead of making your lives miserable. As for your son, he'll only play playstation for as long as he is allowed. If it's not there for him to play, or if he's given a time limit...he will find other ways to occupy his time..such as sports. Some kids however, just aren't the "sports" kind. My oldest son has never been interested in any sports what-so-ever. I'm sure once you establish that these new surroundings are theirs, and are going to remain theirs, things will go a lot easier for all.

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