Hi Moms...I have a 15yr old soon to be step daughter that lives with her dad and I,her mom lives in California and she only sees her a couple a months a year. Anyway, I came home from work last night and her dad told me that Kiersten was upset because me and her don't ever do anything by ourselves. I don't have a normal work schedule I work 2p to 10p, I also sell Mary Kay and I'm trying to get that off the ground, and also me and her dad have a 3yr old daughter together. I'm quite a busy person and try my hardest on my days off (Mon-Tues)to spend time with everyone. I feel really bad that she was upset because it makes me feel like she thinks I'm neglecting her and I'm not I attend every cheerleading function she has if I'm not working..I guess my question is what are some good ideas I can do with her once a week on my days off(now that cheerleading is over)just me and her for a couple of hours.
I want to thank everyone for the awesome ideas. Kiersten and I have had the best time together. We've gone bowling and last week we did a mother/daughter spa day it was great and I think she is having a blast. I apologized for not paying as much attention to her and she told me that she understood but she wanted a mother that she could rely on since she can't rely on hers and told me that I have been more of a mother to her then her own has been, It made me cry. Thanks again ladies
Like the other Mom's said going out with her is good, trust me what she wants and needs is a close trusted female to talk to about her ever changing life, mind, and body. Take her out have fun and Please talk and listen.
I have a 15 year old foster daughter and a 15 year (1 month from 16th birthday) biological daughter. This weekend me and my daughter went shopping and sometimes we go riding around looking at house. Go out to eat, spa day, go out for ice cream, and little stuff is good for teenagers. My fiance' he take my daughter out and he is teaching her how to drive. Ask her what she would like to do with you. I hope this helps.
My daughter (9yrs old) loves to go to dinner with me and walk around the mall. We dont even buy much, maybe get her something at Claire's. But we enjoy talking about people in the mall, stuff we see, etc. I let her pick the restaurant for dinner and we always share dessert!
Putt-Putt, bowling and going to see theatre productions are fun too! I think it is great she wants to spend time with you, most girls her age are doing anything they can not to talk to their parents!
C.
I would start by finding out what she likes to do. Maybe have a girls day out, get your nails done, go to the movies, have some lunch-dinner together.
Howdy R.,
There have been so many wonderful suggestions! Here are a few more....How about taking classes of some kind together. There are always fun craft projects to work on and the old stand by of a nice long walk through the park or just around your neighborhood.
Blessings,
J.
One thing I did with my daughters separately was a night out just me and one of them. It really helped strengthen our relationship. Especially with my youngest. Just a movie or even dinner, or anything that you both might have an interest in. You might even take her (when possible to your Mary Kay shows and let her be your model.
First of all I think you should be thrilled that a teenager wants to spend time with you, and especially a "step". Wow!
Cheerleading functions don't count as time with just the two of you, because it's not really just the two of you. Go have a pedicure together, go shopping, scrapbooking, movie, coffee, etc. Any kind of girly thing! It's amazing that she just wants to hang out with you. It doesn't have to be a big thing. The best gift you can give to a child is your time. Good luck!
She is 15 so go to the mall or go get nails done. Even if you just go get a burger somewhere she will enjoy it. Be glad she wants to spend time with you as I am sure you are. I didnt like my step mom at 15 but I sure love the new one. Any way have a girls day out if possible. You might think about changing jobs to where you can be home with her at night. This is a very important time in her life and will need alot of your attention. Good luck
At that age, most girls don't want to spend time with their parents. I think it is great that she does. Think of what you liked to do with your mom...movies, going for a drive, shopping, concert, find out what you two have in common and work from there. The main thing, don't try too hard. Make it fun for both of you and you will both enjoy it.
Hi R....
I'm a single mom of 4... from California... now in TX... I have a 15 yr old son, 14 yr old daughter, 11 year old son, and almost 3 yr old daughter.
My older daughter loves to just have me take her to the mall and look at the stores and maybe buy a pair of earings or jeans or something... or go see a movie. Just some girl time is definitely needed at this age. My daughter is also a cheerleader and I know how hectic their schedule is. Sometimes we make our time in the morning... before the boys and baby get up.... we'll make breakfast, coffee, and watch our shows that we recorded on the dvr. Even a little card for no apparent reason lets them know how much you love them. Their dad is also in California and he sees them maybe once a year... so I definitely have to be both parents!
Good Luck... I hope this helps you!
A LITTLE ABOUT ME.... I'm a single mom of 4, and I do home daycare so that I can stay home with my youngest...almost 3. I've grown to realize that life is so much better once you become a mom.... :)
I have a 13 yr old daughter and I take her about once a month to get mani/pedi's. If that is too expensive, you can do them yourselves at home. There are many reasonably priced kits at the drugstore. Or you can pick her up once in a while from school and take her out to lunch. Those are a few ideas. :)
I have been in the same boat. I have a step daughter 18 AND a step-son 17 as well as a biological daughter 4.
The oldest two came into my life on a perm basis when they were 8 & 9. I took the lead from a friend of mine (whom I felt was an excellent parent) and my husband and I set up "dates" with our kids on a regular basis. It could be as simple as going for coffee or breakfast, maybe even lunch or dinner. Or maybe go get your nails done. The mane thing is find something that SHE is interested in and then go do it together. Maybe that is the start. Sit down and talk to her.
All of the suggestions have been great! How about having a few of her friends and their moms over for a make-over. You could incorporate time with your daughter while promoting your business. The girls might love it. Teenagers and makeup tend to go hand in hand. Also be sure to talk to her its a very difficult time in life and she is going to need you even if at times it doesn't seem like it.
I would just encourage you to keep it simple. It can be the two of you going out to lunch or to get ice cream, or catching a movie together. My 11 year old loves going to the mall and looking around. The key is to not try too hard. Even a simple mani/pedi or going for a walk together or doing other fitness activites. My daughter even takes kickboxing classes with me at the gym. Any time you spend with her is time well spent, no matter what you're doing. And it doesn't have to be an all day event, or something real expensive.
You could out and get your nails done together or maybe shopping.
R., how about getting a pedicure together. My daughter, by the way who is 43y.o. and I do this occassionally. It's a good hour of together time. I have a 16 y.o. grandaughter and of course shopping is always a good past time. Also, you could use her as your Mary Kay model. Hopefully this will make her feel special.
Good Luck,
Shug
