23 answers

Mother-in-law Issues - Lakeland,FL

ok i need advice on what to do or say to my mother-in-law, so what happened is that my brother-in-law and his girl friend split up and all hell broke loose between the girl friend and my mother-in-law and so the girl friend told me some things that my mother-in-law said about me and my kids, things that the girl friend would not no unless mother-in-law told, ex., saying my kids are spoiled and that i need to keep my mouth shut when it comes to my husband and him taking his pain pills which i don't want him on anymore, and if i would stop going to the salon 2 and 3 times a week, "really can you imagine going to the salon that often, only in my dreams". anyway, so he could afford to keep going to the dr and get his pain pills like she doesnt no her son does not need to be taking that and my husband and i have been fighting alot about it, and she knows, she has even told me that he needs to stop as well and just learn to live wit the pain like others have to then she goes and says that behind my back, well of course my husband says i need to stop acting like a child and talk to her to see if its the truth and im like hello it is what cant you understand about it? I just dont no what to do I no she said it cause how else would the girl friend no about it I dont have that kind of relationship wit the girlfriend, I mean she only told me cause she so pissed at my mother-in-law, yes my mother-in-law has called leaving messages saying its not true that she just mad and wants to start problems?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

ok well it seems that everyone pretty much said to let it go, she is my mil, well it was just bothering me too much so I decided to email her on what was said and i felt about it, and this was about a week ago and i havent heard a thing from her, so I m thinking i prob made a mistake?Thanks all for the advice I really appreciated it.

Featured Answers

i like to avoid any conversation about someone not in the room. in my opinion, the best thing to do is forgive. if you want to confront first that's for you to decide. but i would consider anything the girlfriend said as fact unless you heard from the MIL as well.

I personally would ignore what the girl says & just not fight in front of yor mother in law. Don't discuss he sons issues unless she asks (or you think he really needs an intervention). Keep things pleasant but be cautious.

I'd stay away from the X :)

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Don't even start the "is it true is it untrue" arguement, doesn't matter. Just tell her to stop talking behind your back and move on. You WILL NOT change her and you involve her in as little as possible. Most of all, you go on with your life knowing the type of person she is and expecting it. You can't change the fact that she is your husband's mom. You stick to your guns about what is good for you husband and your family and get him help.

1 mom found this helpful

G., stop, take a deep breath and exhale. So your mother said something bad about you, don't all women get in their groups and talk. Let it ride off your back because you have probably had your indifference toward her too that if she heard would cause issues. Be thankful you heard that info, and if true, begin to take measures to STOP talking your business to your mother in law etc. She does not live in your house and what you and your husband fight over is your business. Take the bigger person role and do what you know is right and let the petty thing she said roll off your back. Don't get involved in the commess cause the girlfriend could very will be bitter, your mother in law could very well just say back something out of anger. Who knows if the girlfriend is trying to get you to have a problem with your mother in law too just because she has one. If you really can't brush it off, confront your mother in law and discuss it and act accordingly by staying at arms length when it comes to certain things relaing to her.

1 mom found this helpful

Hey G......
Welll seems i am not the only one with a nosey butt mother in law... mine is the pits too, so the best advice i can give you is to just make peace at family functions but not let her that involved in your lives. If she feels your children are spoiled then they really dont need her time or energy anyway. You only let people know what goes on behind your 4 walls if you tell them. If your husband is having issues with pain meds, talk to him about alternative methods. Once you are on those narcotic meds for years it's hard as hell to get off of them. BElieve me i know first hand about them.
Pray alot about it GOD will bring you an answer.
People sometimes say more when they are upset, when the girlfriend comes back with more "gossip" just tell her point blank that she hurt your feelings the last time ya'll had talked and you'd really rather not know what anybody has to say about you.
Talk is cheap when folks are pissed off.

1 mom found this helpful

I personally would ignore what the girl says & just not fight in front of yor mother in law. Don't discuss he sons issues unless she asks (or you think he really needs an intervention). Keep things pleasant but be cautious.

I'd stay away from the X :)

So sorry to hear about that. Even if you confronted your mother-in-law, she will deny it as she has already done. If I were you, I would just ignore it and let them fight it out among themselves. It sounds like the ex wants you to be in on the fight. Be the better person and just let it go over your head. I know it's hard. As long as you're married, you will have your m-i-l to deal with. The ex will be out of the picture soon enough. Good luck. Keep us updated.

Perhaps that was the girlfriends opinion of you and your kids and she is filled with sadness and anger berries letting it all out but does not want to feel the hate toward herself so she is blaming be mother in law

your "friend" shouldn't of even told you any of that...Really, it's shame on her more than anyone else..All that does is hurt your feelings uneccesarily to satisfy her own selfish needs..She sounds like a troublemaker and ya probably want to lose her..She is your mo-in-law so you are forced to be in eachothers lives..Just try to forget it and move on if ya can..

It sounds to me like the so called "girlfriend" may want to start problems being that she is not part of the fam anymore. U, however are very much part of the fam and have 2 children involved. I would just let it go and tell ur mother in law that whether it was true or not, u just want to move on for everyone's sake, especially the children's sake. I was fortunate enough to have an awesome mother in law, she was my best budd and I lost her way too soon. she didnt even get to enjoy her grand-babies. sometimes we need to count ur blessings..thanks to ur mother in law u have your husband and thanks to him u have your children!!!

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