27 answers

More Potty Training Advice

I need some more potty training advice. My 21-month old son is finally showing signs that maybe he's ready to start potty training but I don't know what kind of potty seat to buy. I have seen all kinds but I want to know which ones work; I don't want to get one that may be too intimidating.

Also, maybe the moms who have boys can tell me the best way to get started with my son. Do I have him sit to pee or should he stand? At this age, aim will definitely be a problem. He is very excitable and seems to be fascinated with the toilet, especially the flush. I welcome any ideas to make the bathroom more comfortable for him so that he will go with ease and stop following me every time I have to go ;)

I do have another issue. My son has no interest in talking right now and I feel this will be a stumbling block with trying to potty train. Don't get me wrong, he is very vocal and babbles all day long but it is his own little language. He has yet to name everyday ordinary items and goes to speech therapy to work on that. He understands me and can follow commands but with potty training, I would hope he was already talking so that he will be able to tell me in some way when he has to go. I don't know if I am making this clear enough to understand but it would be a lot less frustrating if we had some way for him to communicate with me. I am trying to teach him sign language but it's not going so well. i welcome any ideas on this issue too. I don't want to rush things which is why I'm just now considering potty training and I already know that boys tend to be late in this department but I also don't want to prolong the situation if he is indeed ready to try. I'm also tempted to wait even longer because he's not talking but who knows when that will actually kick in; I can't wait forever because I do have a 3 month old daughter at home too. Help!

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Try teaching him sign language for potty. Use the sign (or a sign for potty) every time you have him go to the bathroom, then ask him using the sign.

1 mom found this helpful

My son is also 21 months old and is showing signs interest in potty training. We are starting out slow with letting him watch as we use the bathroom. He gets excited when we say we need to go potty and runs in the room with us. We let him flush for us and tell him he's doing a good job.

As far as communication goes, I highly suggest watching Signing Time! (www.signingtime.org) You can find it on PBS public television (here in utah on mondays and fridays) or rent the DVD's from the library. My son LOVES the show, it's his absolute favorite. I'd recommend teaching him the sign for potty (a closed fist, shaking back and forth). My son picked up on it pretty quick as it's pretty easy to do.

Good luck and let me know if you have any questions!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

We love the book "Toilet Training in a Day" by Azrin. I may be a bit off on the title and I don't remember the author's first name. Sorry. It's great. The best part is the child is "independent" so there wouldn't be a need for him to be able to tell you he needs to go potty. We used it with our first and loved it. At the very least, you'll get some good ideas. GL!

1 mom found this helpful

Don't get discouraged if he doesn't take to potty training. I think 3.5 yrs old is normal for boys to potty train. Still, it can be done earlier if he's ready.

My kids all refused to use potty seats. They wanted to be just like mom and dad - even when they could barely climb on themselves. I've heard it helps to have the kid sit on the toilet backwards (like facing the back of the toilet). I can't remember the reasoning behind it though.

good luck :)

1 mom found this helpful

you sound stressed out. your son is only 21 months, he is very young to potty train. Dont rush him into potty training, if he is interested show him how to pee like Daddy, or better yet let Daddy show him how to pee like a big boy. The only thinking I would suggest for a potty is that he can reach over it when he pees. If you toilet is low enough dont worry bout a potty for peeing
It sounds llike you are working on his speach development This might be enough for a little one right now. He will eventualy pee in a the potty but pressure and stress from you will make it difficult. The little man is so young, give him time and patients.

Mother of 3 kids, ages 6, 5, and 3

1 mom found this helpful

Hi -

I can tell you from experience that 21 months is probably too young to even think about potty training. He may be interested in the potty and that's great, I got my boys a very simple potty and had them just get used to sitting on it. No pressure. That's key. If you ask your pediatrician (I did) the nerves that allow him to control his pee and poop aren't mature until about 3 years old. Another thing we know is that boys take longer to mature than girls ;) I started trying to train my older son at 3 years old. He had zero interest. I tried bribes (candy, big boy underwear, stickers) and nothing worked. Finally I just gave up. He was about 3 months shy of his 4th birthday when he told me he had to go and he went in and did it. Like the light turned on and he thought, "I can do that". Took about another 4-5 months before he started pooping on the potty. That's what I know hope it helps.

As for the talking thing. My oldest son (same one) started talking really well when he was nearly 2 and a half. My youngest turned 2 in March and has been speaking in full sentences for months now. He has the example of his older brother and I think that's made a big impact. Hopefully he'll be potty trained sooner too.

Good luck and happy Mother's Day!

1 mom found this helpful

I start potty training with having them sit on their potty chair every morning and night with me in the bathroom. When they do finally go I make a big deal about it. My oldest would always go pee and sometimes poo in the potty chair. This is a way to get them used to the idea. They will catch on and do it on their own. The other idea is to ask every couple hours if they need to go potty.

1 mom found this helpful

I have three boys- ages 12, 7 and 21 months. 21 months is very young for a boy to be potty trained. I won't even start mine yet. However, if you really want to get him started, this is what worked best for me. Get a training seat that fits on top of the "big potty" and a stool to go next to it. This helps eliminate the fear of using the toilet in other places. Have him sit to start training- this gives a lot less headache for mom. He will pick up standing easily when he is older. To get him used to the potty, put him on it every 1-2 hours and if he goes, praise him. If he doesn't, don't stress. It takes a while for them to learn, especially at that age. My boys were almost three before they were finally trained, as were the boys of my friends and family.

As for communication, my boys were a lot slower in this department that my daughter was and they are very advanced now. Don't stress it too much. He will find a way to tell you what he needs, even if it doesn't sound like "real words" to you. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Mom,
As the mother of three boys, let me give some advice. COOL IT, boys have neither the muscle control or the sustained focus for potty training until they are close to three. Let him mature. The fact that he isn't communicating well yet is a big red flag for the fact that he isn't ready to interpret signals from his body as communication. He isn't ready. Give it another year, at least.
Trust me on this, I've done it three times already. You don't want to complicate this issue with emotional baggage and failure.

1 mom found this helpful

Start him sitting down or you'll have lots of messes to clean up. Teach him to hold it down though! All potty seats work, they just look different. You just buy based on preference. I like the kind that just fit onto the regular toilet because kids like to flush and there's less mess to clean and it takes up less space.
All three of my boys were potty trained between 18 and 22 months so not all boys are late with pottytraining. If he won't speak yet and sign language isn't working then start him out by taking him on a schedule. Depending on how often a day he has to go, take him to the bathroom at regular intervals. Some kids have to go every hour at this age and some, like my niece, only goes two-three times a day. Eventually, they'll get around to telling you when they have to go or they'll just start going on their own. Taking them on a schedule reduces accidents also. Put books in the bathroom and some sort of bribery for when they're successful like raisins, m&ms, or stickers. There are also watches you can buy for your kids that will beep at times you set to tell your child that it's time to go. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

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