Hi! I know you've gotten some feedback, but I wanted to put in my two cents by telling you that it literally took me 2 years to really embrace being a SAHM. Now, it definitely doesn't have to take that long, but with me, I wasn't expecting motherhood, it was a surprise, and then when my first child was 6 months old, I found out I was pregnant with my second. Before I became a mom, I was head bartender at a huge nightclub, and had quite the social life. I never wanted to be a stay at home mom, and I really struggled with dealing with the frustrations of having two babies, 15 months apart. It was hard also because I wasn't making any money for the home, so therefore I didn't feel comfortable with spending any. I had always been extremely independent, had my own apartment for years before I met my husband. Then, all of a sudden, I wasn't working, wasn't making my own money, and was completely reliant on another person. It made me feel very unimportant, on top of the fact that my husband was working 12 hour days and I was alone with 2 babies from the time they woke up until right before their bedtime when my husband got home. I had gone from having literally hundreds of people that came into the bar every night I worked to see me, and having my phone ring all the time with invites to parties, to having NO calls because my "friends" assumed that I was busy with the babies. First hard lesson for me was that all those "friends" were just bar buddies, even though we'd been hanging out for years. Second hard lesson was that I was completely isolated. It wasn't worth all the work and stress to just pack up and go places because my kids were so young and so close in age. Even just a trip to the grocery store was a massive amount of stress, since I had to push one cart and pull the other. My mom lived about 15 minutes away, but by the end of the day when she got home from work, I was usually so exhausted from taking care of the kids, that I didn't have the motivation to pack them up and go for a visit.
I ended up going into, looking back, a minor depression. I felt alone, stressed out, and kinda like a loser because I didn't work and I was so used to working. I'd been working since I turned 15, and at the time I was 26. The couple friends who did keep in touch with me, I found myself not answering the phone and also making up excuses why they couldn't stop by because honestly, I felt like "what the heck do I have to talk about? My life is all about babies" I felt like I was boring, and not myself anymore.
What helped me turn my life around was I joined a play group and met some other moms. It was weird at first, because I had always hung out with really fun, partying type girls, and all of a sudden, I was hanging out with moms who didn't really have anything going on besides motherhood, they didn't work or anything. But, after letting go of the stereotype of my friends that I had always been drawn to, and realizing that I really DID have a lot in common with those other mothers, I was able to really make some great friends. I know it sounds very snobbish, what I just explained, but seriously, I wasn't used to being surrounded by any friends other than my friends who liked to get all dressed up and go out for a good time. All of a sudden, my friends were ones who wore comfortable clothes, rarely wore makeup, and didn't go out except on special occassions or periodic girls' nights out, which ended by midnight. It was just a transition for me. Thank God for those ladies though, because they taught me without knowing it, that I was much more than a girl who was fun to get dressed up with and go out for some drinks. They taught me that I was still myself, just at a different stage of my life now. I started attending events, instead of making up excuses why I couldn't go. I went to story times at libraries with them, zoo days, and play dates. One of the girls would come over to my house with her kids a few times a week, even though for the first couple of weeks of meeting her, I was making excuses why it wasn't a good time to get together. At first, I thought it was too much of an effort to entertain people, too much trouble to get out of the house, but those girls really involved me and kept asking me to do things, and eventually, I actually ENJOYED being able to be at home and take my kids to special things with them. It was at that time that I realized that me being able to stay at home with the kids was about THEM, my children, not ME. It was about being able to raise them with the morals I wanted them to live by, and not having to rely on a babysitter to make sure they're being taught proper behavior. It was about me having the ability to keep the house clean, laundry done, dinner on the table every night, which in turn, I learned actually made my husband's life easier because he could go to work and not have to worry about any responsibilities waiting on him when he got home. All in all, it really made our family life more enjoyable and much more manageable with my being home to take care of the things around the house. Since I had made friends, the isolation was gone. I picked up the phone whenever they called, and actually enjoyed talking to them and getting together, instead of feeling lazy or not answering the phone. Now, my kids are 6 and 7, and I am STILL a SAHM. I love it!! I love that I can pick my kids up from school, that I can volunteer in their classroom and have lunch with them at school sometimes. I love that I can help my husband with his company. I love that I have the time to do not only the inside work at home, but all the outside work too, so that my husband can enjoy relaxing weekends instead of having to mow the yard. I love that I can leisurely make dinner, instead of getting home from work and having my kids immediately ask what's for dinner, and not being able to sit and relax until I've made dinner, helped with homework, and given baths. It's just a very happy life being a SAHM, and although it is a HUGE transition, if you give yourself time, and try to shift your mind from how you feel now, to how you CAN feel about it, you'll feel the same way too!!!