Mood Disorders in Pre-Teen Girls

My son, now 18, is also going through this experience. I know how you feel, because it's heartbreaking to see him suffer. He was on abilify, and it caused him to be more anxious, and have outbursts. They switched his medication, and now he is much more content. I hope the medication helps for her, but let the doc know right away if it makes it worse for her.
I've tried not to let people know, but it's difficult to to do. I'm thinking of moving. My son is very sensitive, and needs encouragement, nothing negative - even from well meaning people.

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Hi H.! I don't have any advice for you. I just wanted to say that you are doing a great job and you have made a safe place for your daughter.

It breaks my heart that kids at school have called her bi-polar. Even if she is, it's a cruel thing coming from peers. I would encourage you to tell your daughter to only share what she is going through to people who she can trust.

I am so sorry that your mom isn't supporting you. Please know that you are giving your daughter a great gift in helping her.
Blessings on you and your family!

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Huge kudos to your daughter for talking to you about this!! Mental issues are so "taboo" these days that many people try to hide it. I think it was incredibly mature of her to bring this up, and it is FANTASTIC that the two of you can openly communicate like this!

That being said, I have dealt with depression since I was 15. I've been on different medications as the years (and myself) have changed. Do it. It will make her life much smoother! I think the nightly talks will do more than just help keep track of her moods; it will be a wonderful bonding experience that she's going to cherish the rest of her life. (I didn't have that kind of relationship with my parents, and my teen years were very difficult).

As far as babysitting, I think you've made the right choice to put it on hold until things smooth out, not just for the kids she's watching, but for her too. Why add extra stress? I have a good friend who suffers bi-polar disorder and massive migraines. She's on medication (I'm not sure the brand though) and you could NEVER tell she has bi-polar if she didn't tell you. She's one of the most wonderful, honest, down-to-earth women I know. I hope your daughter finds a prescription that works for her soon! Good luck to the both of you, and keep those lines of communication open! It will benefit you both! :D

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You may get responses to your request that are criticizing, but I would like to say - Congratulations to you and your daughter for the open communication that you have! It's wonderful that she can talk with you openly and that she can ask for help.

My ex-husband, who I've known for 25 years has suffered his whole life with chronic depression and more recently is being treated for bi-polor disorder. He also has addiction problems; these commonly go hand-in-hand with depression/pi-polar. There are interesting articles being published now about how depression is "inherited". Not genetic, but learned from your family members.

I don't see treatment of these conditions to be only a drugs/no drugs debate (that some will turn this into). Help for your daughter could involve counseling for behavior modification and to learn techniques to help her manage her emotions, and a regular exercise program (read "Spark: the effects of exercise on the brain" for the amazing help that exercise can bring), along with the possibility of drug treatment. Medications can be helpful, when carefully monitored until the ones that work best for the individual are discovered.

I would not tell family, friends, or school anything that they do not need to know until you discover what works best for your daughter. There may not be any need to disclose anything, or only to select people.

Good luck to you both in working through this, and again, you are so far ahead in that you can talk openly about this.

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I don't have a child going through this, but I did want to say it's probably not a good idea to tell anyone outside the house about her treatment or her potential mental health issues. At this point, it sounds like you don't even know if she does indeed have a problem this way.

If she is finally diagnosed as having a condition, I'd leave the telling others about it up to her and when she is ready. People tend to be less than understanding about things like this, and I would be concerned that she'd get unnecessarily labled before she gets started in life.

Give the Dr. and your daughter time to work out the snags and see what's going to work for her. Has she even been diagnosed with a specific condition yet? If not, another reason to just wait and see what you find out and how treatment goes.

I think taking a break from a job after school and perhaps cutting back on activities temporarily might be beneficial too. Perhaps stress has been a factor in her behavior, and taking a break will give her and you time to re-evaluate what works for her.

I think right now the best thing to do is to give her support and have lots of patience. Most important stay flexible so that you can choose the best treatment for her so she can live a happier, more fulfilling life.

****One more point added later***

She is very young to begin drug treatments. I know there are many disorders that are better treated this way. But as one who is not big on drug treatments, and considering your family's history with chemical dependancy, keep your eye open for a more wholisitic and natural approach to her treatment if possible. Do lots of research and find and try all of the non-drug alternatives first! Perhaps you can find another doctor for a second opinion.

I think you should find a natural path (NOT homeopath) doctor and try a natural approach before putting her on medication. She is only 12! And definitely start her with chiropractic care if she isn't getting it already!

And I would not be telling anyone at this point. It will just turn into a big rumor and who knows what people will make up...... No need to put her through that. But I do agree that she should NOT be babysitting right now. It is unfair to the parents and the children she would sit with all that is going on.....