30 answers

Monotony of Being a SAHM

I just want to start out by saying I'm very blessed. I have a wonderful, loving husband who has a great job which allows me to stay home with our two children. I have two beautiful children ages 1 and 4 that I love DEARLY with all my heart. I don't take our situation for granted.
That being said, I need some advice. I've been a SAHM for almost 5 years now and the monotony is killin' me!! We have moved once during the 5 years and over that time I have been a part of many different kinds of moms groups, done different events, hosted playdates, ect. My oldest is in preschool twice a week now, making my tue/thurs free with just my little one, but it seems those days are now restricted to getting Wal-Mart shopping done while I can with one kid, or cleaning house, working around the mid day nap, then by the afternoon just having to start dinner and start the whole routine over again. Every time I turn around the house is dirty again, we're out of groceries (I’ve been trying to coupon lately, adding to the "boringness" for the kids). We go to parks, ride bikes, go to the zoo, blah blah, but have been doing the SAME things for so long I'm sick of it! I don't know how to stay positive - to stay in the grateful frame of mind year after year.
My husband recently applied to a job in Oregon and we are praying and waiting patiently that this is where God wants to move us. All of my husband’s family is up in that area; this would truly be a blessing for us to move there. So I have thought about returning to work, but between the cost of daycare, preschool, and what I can make in my industry in this economy it would not be logical. It’s almost cheaper for me to continue to be a SAHM. Part of what I’m struggling with is not having ANY family nearby, especially coming out of the holidays like we did, and January is such a lonesome month.
How do other SAHM moms do this year after year? How do you find the spring in your step when every morning is the SAME?? When every evening is the SAME?? When the funds run down so much you can’t even afford a date night in a year with your hubby that you so desperately need just to get a change in the monotony? Even the moms nights out, the bunco games, scrapbooking, ect. has grown tiring, old, it’s the same mindless chatter day after day and I just can’t get excited about much anymore. Where can I go from here? I’m crying as I write this because the last thing in the world I want to come off sounding like is ungrateful. I’m so thankful for everything, and I mean EVERYTHING in my life, but I feel there needs to be change and I’m not sure how that happens – how to change the monotony of being a stay at home mother. How do I keep the frame of mind of thankfulness and remember daily that I’m doing the biggest job on Earth – raising children?

2 moms found this helpful

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More Answers

I agree with the posters on doing something for yourself. I may be a working mom but I also struggle with the monotomy of the schedule.

Get 4 people out the door by 6 am. Work. Come home, play with kids. Make dinner, get kids into bed, try to have energy to get laundry done. And then go to bed and wake up and do it all over again. Ughh!

I love to cook so once a quarter I take a cooking class at a local grocery store. I know no one, but I really enjoy it and the me time. My husband also tries to get home early from work one day a week so I can go to a yoga class. Also just for me.

Hang in there. I hope you find something that you enjoy that is just yours. Having something that is just mine really helps me and gives me things to look forward too when it all gets to me.

4 moms found this helpful

Oh mama don't cry!! Everything gets VERY tough! Some days I cry when I have to go to work because my 4 year old just wants to cuddle a little longer. Even going to work is monotony...you need to find something for YOU that makes YOU happy - and things will turn around.

4 moms found this helpful

Help someone else. I know that volunteering outside the home might be impossible with kids your age, so try looking for online volunteer opportunities. Try this site and click on the "Search for Virtual Opportunities":


3 moms found this helpful

Might I recommend watching the movie: Groundhog Day? LOL
Yes--it CAN be like that. Just keep an eye on the bigger picture and the fact that this doesn't last forever.
Soon your little on will be in some sort of pre-K, etc. and your time will loosen up a bit and that will continue as they grow.
For now, find some things you love to do and CARVE OUT the time to do them!

3 moms found this helpful

I don't think it's purely the SAHM thing vs the ages of your kids. I remember feeling like that when my kids were younger and I've always worked outside the home. I'd go to the park with my kids it seemed like every evening for years... Same park. Ugh. I was fairly miserable. But then all of a sudden my kids were older and doing different things and I knew more people in our neighborhood and we haven't been to that park in ages. You've gotten lots of good suggestions for things to do. I just wanted to say that it's not just you - I think many moms go through this. My sister said she always had to have some project going on or she'd have gone insane. It is way easier when you have money to spend. I get that. So maybe brain storm on ways to make money that would also offer a change of pace. And if that doesn't work, then free stuff. I know that's obvious but maybe just hearing this happens to lots of women will help. I've always been away from family too since kids and it was so lonely. Now that my kids are older, 6&7, I don't miss my mother nearly as much. Hang in there. These can be tough years. Just know it'll get better. Try at least reading some good books. LIbrary is free. Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand is amazing and shows the resiliance of the human spirit. (first part is a big boring but then gets fantastic).

2 moms found this helpful

I've enjoyed project through the years... I turned the basement into a grow room once, made my own lights with things I could find in the hardware store, and it lasted about a year before I realized we were not getting enough vegetables to pay for the electricity. I sure had fun.

Another year and a half I did the fish and seahorses thing. Once again, it was expensive.

Other years I have gardened outside extensively. That was fun.

I've gone through book reading phases, raising various small animals, have my daycare etc...

But I'm getting the most fulfillment and learning the most from studying the word and watching various preachers online. I never thought I could say that. Studying the word used to be a chore. Now I live for it.

We all go through spells where something has to change. Just remember that it's not all about your kids. Your kids are a big part of your life and it seems like it's all about them when they are young. Eventually, you need to spend some time looking out for you.

2 moms found this helpful

Have you considered doing something just for you? Taking a class? Volunteering? Something unrelated to mommyhood?

I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I have to return to work eventually, and am kind of basking in the monotony.

2 moms found this helpful

It sounds to me like you should consider some part time work. What would you like to do? What hobbies do you enjoy? Do you enjoy working with people? Maybe a few times a week of working in a bookstore or something you find interesting may help you. Something I do to get rid of monotony is take a class every now and then. It could be a class at our local university, at the art center, or a fitness class. I went out on a limb this fall and did a weekend long women's fitness retreat. I had never done anything like that before and beforehand I was nervous. It was so much fun though. Or maybe you should pick a goal for yourself and start working towards it. A degree? A race? A certificate towards something?

2 moms found this helpful

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