Moms of Boys Out There to Provide Potty Training Advice/support?

This is super normal. My son's preschool started at age 2, and so I saw many boys and girls go through potty training. Many, many of the boys and girls wouldn't do #2 in the potty (including my son). They feel like they are losing a limb or something in the potty. It really scares them. W/ my son, we did not get upset w/ him (you want to avoid a power struggle at all costs). He usually would hold his poop until we put an overnight diaper on him and then he would poop (he had actually been dry at night for some time before he was daytime trained, oddly). We helped him take the diaper into the bathroom and had him roll the poop off the diaper and into the toilet and flush. Two things helped were the book "Once Upon a Potty," and a sticker chart. For the sticker chart, we had a kind of sticker he really liked that he could only get if he did #2. None of this worked immediately. It took about two months after he was pee trained for him to consistently use the toilet for poop. I think the most important things to remember are that he is probably scared to have his #2 drop from on high, you want to avoid a power struggle at all costs, and this is a very typical pattern. Also, is he using a potty or a toilet? If he is using a toilet, give him a step stool so that his legs aren't dangling. It's almost impossible to poop w/ your legs dangling. Do give him things like prune juice that will encourage him to go more often if you can.

2 moms found this helpful

Hello L.: You are off to agreat start so far. Please be aware that most children have a fear of having a bowel movement in the toilet. There are control issues, sounds and even the splash of the water may alarm them, some times its seeing the poop going down once it is flushed that bothers them. So keep at it but don't push.
I am the mother of 5, have raised several other children and now have several grandchildren - the common thread is that this part of potty training is the hardest even for little girls. So read to him while he tries, rewards , and a whole lot of praise. Believe me he won't start kindergarten with out doing it right but you may have to have a back up plan for pre-school until he is truly ready.
Have fun in this great adventure of parenthood -- there is nothing like it andyou will not see greater rewards. Nana G

1 mom found this helpful

L.,
My son will be three in a month, and we were recently in the same boat as you. We were working with him to try and get him to use the potty for #2, and he had totally mastered #1. We tried the reward system, but it only went so far. One day, on our way home from daycare he was telling me that he had a tummy ache, and so I knew that he had to go since he hadn't gone since the day before. When we got home, I moved his potty chair into the living room, gave him some juice and fruit snacks, and put on his favorite movie, so he had no real choice but to sit on his potty and watch his show. It worked! It helped him to relax enough that the poop just came to him. Then everytime after that it was a little easier for him to know. We had a couple of accidents since. It has now been 2 weeks, with no accidents, and he has realized that he doesn't like diapers/pull ups anymore.
Every kid is different, but my recommendation is try everything and be excited about everything. Get him to pick out his own underwear, get him his own toilet specialty toilet paper (my son uses kandoo because they are flushable wet wipes) and just be excited for the whole process. It is contagious and eventually he will come around! :-) good luck!

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I think you should put him back in diapers and let him take the lead on potty training. My son seemed like he would never go #2 on the toilet, but when he decided to do it he never went back! I'm not sure why he was afraid to go on the toilet, but a few months after he turned 3 he changed his mind and wanted to. It might have helped that he was around his 4 year old cousin for a weekend and saw how he wore underwear and went on the toilet. Good luck and don't worry too much!

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We have three boys, all trained sometime when they were 3 (from just 3 to almost 4). I remember with one, we put him in the tub just before, with the toilet right there in the room of course. He didn't want his poo with him in the tub and got out to go in the toilet--this was the first time for him. After this, he went in the toilet consistently. Good luck.

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Sounds like wants to be in control of that body function for now. I once babysat a little girl who would not go in her potty for her parents, and would not let her parents touch her food. She did both for me, on her own initiative, and was obviously able to use the toilet. She was just not allowing her parents to have the honor, for some reason, being very coy about it...I think some kids want to save something for themselves sometimes (because their parents control so much of their daily life) and controlling their own poop is all they can come up with! He knows how important it is to you, for him to do it "your way". The fact that he tells you after he has gone in his underwear, suggests to me that he doesn't really like the feel of it in his clothes, so he will probably end this game soon. Good luck, and congratulations on your great new job in a poor economy!

Hey L.,

We used sticker charts as an incentive. We made ours out of construction paper or there are pritable ones on the web. 1 sticker for pee, 2 for poo when he filled up the chart he would get a prize (hot wheels car, something small). He really responded well.
However, patience is the key. It is one of those things that will not help when pressured or talking to. They really have to decide to do it on their own.

Hope this helps,
S.

I started the potty training thing at about 3.5 years old and same thing, my son got the peepee in the potty quickly, but the other was an issue. I let him do his thing for about 6 weeks, the I just got tired of waiting and cleaning his underware. So, I kept a close eye on him and when he gave his signs that he was about to go, I put him on the potty. He scream, cried and pleaded so get off the potty, but I held him down until he went poop. Immediately afterwards, he got a big smile and he said "it wasn't bad" (I had been saying all along it wasn't bad). I had to do that (hold him down) two maybe three times, and that's all it took. The next time he had to go, he just said he had to go poop on the potty and went. That was the end of poop accidents. I would give your son a little time and the you take charge. You are the parent after all.

My son wasn't 100% potty trained until he was over 3 1/2.
The pee part wasn't too hard - he wasn't afraid of the toilet and never liked the little potty seat so the poop issue was control or trying to drive me nuts I guess. He still has random pee accidents when he gets involved in an activity and ignores his body - luckily he catches himself before much more than a spoonful leaks out and makes it to the bathroom.
I tried rewards - worked for 2 days then just stuck with pull-ups until we got him using the toilet for a week consistently then we got out the Spiderman underware Grandma gave him for his birthday with big fanfare and celebrated.
Honestly, I got fed up one day after cleaning up the 2nd poop mess of the day and told him I was really amd at him 'cuz I knew he WASN'T afraid of the toilet, I knew he was smart and KNEW how to go in the toilet and was choosing not to and making me clean up his nasty stinky poops and it wasn't fair." He thought for a while and told me he wanted me to be happy and used the toilet from then on. I lit a scented candle the 1st time he said he needed to poop for the smell - he asked to blow it out and BINGO! That was the big payoff for him! STickers and candy didn't work but a $1.50 votive was the ticket! He got to blow out the little candle whenever he did a poop.
WHo knew??!!
Oh, and BTW my mom TOLD me that boys don't potty train until the 3rd Summer after they're born - I thought "YOUR sons were idiots, MY son is a GENIUS - he'll potty train at 2 just like I did!!" BOy, was I wrong - Mom was right!! I just hate that !
Anyway - hang in there - nobody wears pull-ups to Prom!!