Mom Wondering If Anyone Else Felt Overly Anxious After the Birth of Their First

Hi A...

The good news is you are normal. I too went through depression after giving birth to my son. You feel this huge amount of responsibilty has been laid on your lap and whats worse (in my case) I felt I may not be up to the job. I felt out of place, and awkward like all the other new moms at the park had it together and I didnt. In my case it did pass. I quit worring so much about all the what-ifs and I let go of the past completly..that is the hard part. Just let go of all the things that you miss since having a baby. And move forward. Depression is not a sin! your whole life has changed and I think for the better. My son has taught me sooo much about Life and he is a KID. Stay busy, and exercise that will help you the most. When your body is strong and in shape you will feel in control of this out of control situation.
Good luck

Taking anti depressants in the short-term is not a big deal. What IS a big deal is having you emotions such as they are when help is available.

Talk to your OB.

My first baby I thought things were fine, but I heard that the sun starts shinning again and everything becomes clearer around 2 months. Sure enough exactly 2 months I felt like the lights came back on even though I didn't even realize they were off! My second one was not that way at all. I was tired, stressed, life did not look the same at all. Normally I am very positive and I just couldn't be positive. I lost patients with my 3 year old and would get so angry with him over nothing. I had urges to hit him that were so hard to control. I didn't feel that way towards the baby though, not sure why. I didn't want to go to the doctor and be put on medication either but knew my kids didn't deserve to suffer with me. I went and sure enough my Dr. put me on a anti depressant, a very small dose. What a difference it has made! So glad I didn't fight it!! It's not the end of the world and not necessarily permanent either. You should defiantly talk to your doctor. Most people don't like to talk about this for fear they will be viewed as a awful mother, not the case at all!!! I have found that 3 other friends are on the same medication as I am :) So don't fight it too much. Babies change us so much it's amazing, who knew a little tiny thing could do so much to change your body and emotions. Congratulations on the birth of your boy, motherhood is the best thing in the world!! You did a great thing about signing up on mamasource you will never be alone here!

Call your doctor. You might have PPD (post-partum depression).
Call your doctor, if you go undiagnosed it can get so much worse. This is a happy time, you should enjoy it.

I should know I went through it and it got bad.

Take care

Well, I had the same feelings after the birth of each of
my babie's, but after awhile, it passed..I think what it
is,is this: you get all sorts of attention before baby is
born, but after baby arrive, all the attention goes to the baby, and maybe it's a let down....add to that, your body's
going thru some differant change's now, so just try to let
it go, and before long, you'll over come this...and maybe
help if you could find something else to focus on besides
baby for awhile...good luck
Granny

Oh yes! I think the third and fourth week were especially bad for me. I think it may be a combination of little to no sleep and shear anxiety (and realization) of having a new baby! I worried about everything. Would I leave her somewhere by accident? What if I trip while I was holding her and she fell on the floor? What if she is not breathing when I go to check on her in her crib? What if, what if, what if! I cried everyday and a few times a day--then it just went away! I think I started feeling a bit more like myself around 7 weeks--which is when she started sleeping through the night. I am not sure, but I really think the lack of sleep had a lot to do with my depression and anxiety.

Do you have a doctor you can speak with? Or any chance you can get someone to watch your baby while you sleep?

Know you are not alone and this will really pass.

Take care,
Danielle

yes what you are feeling i felt with my first child(my little princess when she wants to be). they say that it can take up to nine months for you to start to feel better but it took me a little over a yr. to final get back to my old self( just to find out that i'm pregnant again). the only thing that helped me get though was taking a little time for me even if it was five minutes of watching my fav show, taking a long bath, giving my daughter to family to watch while i went to the store things like that. it is very hard to let other people watch my child even though they had more expierenc than me but if you do a least something you like once a week than hopefully you'll start to feel a little bit better. i hope this works for you and best of luck :-)

i went through this with my daughter. it does pass. it took me about 2 months to get over it.

don't worry. relax - baby sleeps alot - so you sleep too. it helps....if you have someone to help you with the baby - take advantage of it. but know that it will pass.

Oh do I know what you are going through. I had a c-section and the worst time at the hospital. Not the people or the surgery. Just a bad experience. Then I couldn't take care of my baby for about 2 weeks by myself when we got home. I had a hard time dealing with motherhood. Total change of life. Actually, your life is not your own anymore. It is a phase I think for some Moms that have a hard time going through. All the best for you and your new baby. It does get much better.

I feel your pain! I have a three month old and I am not necessarily feeling depressed and to the fact that I am just overwhelmed with all the little things that goes along with taking care of a baby and a family. I am suggesting something that has helped me out tremendously with feeling down and overly exhausted. Go out with girlfriends. Vent with them. I have a group of girls that I go for coffee with once a week and we just sit and talk about our kids and problems in our life that come up. It is nice to talk to girls or people that you can relate with. It is just a sense of comfort that your husband can't understand. THey would jsut say "yes honey I understand" when they really don't. So having coffee or going out for drinks with the girls is great. They all have kids and have problems just like me. So we talk and I get suggestions from them that sometimes seem to help. Good Luck.

Hi A.,

Yes, it's normal. There are ways to prevent it and you seem to want that. Whatever you do, avoid the anti-depressants. They have so many side effects and most CAUSE depression.

Make sure you have a good vitamin, not just a prescription. You need a pharmaceutical grade vitamin that has a proven and effective absorption rate. Most GOOD vitamins have a 50% or less absorption rate. There are some that are much higher.

The exercise is great. Make sure you're not just strolling. Strolling IS healthy but it doesn't help depression like a brisk walk that gets your heart rate up.

Detox your house and get the chemicals out so you and the baby can breathe better. There are side effects of cleaners and contraindications between household cleaners even when you are not using them. (Ever smell the chemical isle in Wal-Mart? Those aren't busted bottles. That is outgassing.) Chemicals can lower the immune system and people with low immune systems get depressed and stay depressed.

Remove any caffeine from your diet. There is nothing wrong with a caffeine in moderation EXCEPT it can exacerbate depression.

I hope this helps A.. If you want to talk or would like any additional information, please let me know.

Regards,

M.

Hi A.,

When I had my first born son, I had the same postpartum depression that lasted 2 years! I think that it would not have lasted so long if I had medication! The depression was much tougher for me because I did not have any family around to help me with the new baby. If the problem doesn't go away for you after 4 weeks, you should see a doctor and get on the medication. Start out with the lowest dosage possible. Get as much support as you can from family and friends and exercise regularly. Somehow the physical activity helps! The actress Brooke Shields had the same depression when she had her 1st born. She wrote a book about it. You can check it out at the bookstore. The name of the book is "Down Came the Rain". Take care and best of luck! V.

Hi A.,
Yes this seems to sound like a slight case of the baby blues...But I wouls still talk to your primary care dr. and see if he has any say so in it.
I had the baby blues with my daughter and it lasted about a month and a half. I ate less sugar and took vitamins as well as routinely excercised and it went away on it's own with meds.
I hope you do well in the journey of motherhood,
K.

Good for you for exercising and taking your vitamins and congratulations on that baby. From what I understand and experienced this is pretty normal. Your body has been through so much and so has your mind etc. with this baby. Talk to the doctor if you need to- there are other treatments besides anti depressants, too. Best of luck.

A.

Hi A.!

I am a mother of three and it wasn't until after the birth of my last child that I encountered the same feelings as you've described. My first piece of advice is to please discuss this with your doctor. I say this because I had originally thought it was the "Baby Blues," albeit I thought it was odd that I had never experienced this with the births of my other two children. However, it quickly spiraled down to a more serious depression, requiring medical advice.

I'm not telling you this as a means to scare you, but rather I hope to prevent the situation from escalating. Reflecting on this situation now, I would have certainly sought professional advice sooner than I did, preventing this from becoming a worse situation.

Hang in there and I wish you all the best in your efforts to overcome this obstacle, which you can do.

All the best,
Anne S.

Congrats on your new baby! How exciting!

I just wanted to let you know that I too, experienced similar feelings (intense fear, sadness, anxiety) such as you describe following the birth of my second child 4 years ago. My ob put me on some mild meds right away and I stayed on them for 6 months. I decided when to stop and felt much better after taking them. I also found that when I talked to other moms ... more of them (than not) experienced similar emotions. The best thing for me was joining a moms club and getting out there with other moms. I truly marvel at the friendships I made within our playgroup during that time. Our kids are off to various preschools, but we still stay in touch with each other and it's wonderful.

An aside to share - it gets easier each time - talking about depression - the more I talk about it and share with other moms too. There's a lot of us out there.

Hang in there! Let us know how you are doing and how your little one is advancing. We are a sisterhood, us moms, and you will find more and more of us that are willing to lend a ear and be supportive than not! I did. Take care! :)

A.,

I also felt that way: anxiety, depression, foggy. In fact, I didn't even realize I was in a "fog" until it cleared up, several months later. I wish I had spoken with my doctor about it. Even when I went in to have my staples removed I lied and told the doc and nurses that I was doing well. I think I was afraid of being medicated too. Part of me also felt like I just needed to sacrifice for my new baby or that it would get better once he was sleeping through the night. I realize now how dumb that was. My point is...I agree with the other moms here: you should talk to your doc. Just be sure to ask about all your options.

Good luck! Congrats on your little angel's healthy arrival!

T. Q

Week 3 was the hardest week for me. It all comes piling down on you around this time. I felt exausted, I felt out of control most of the time,and still very unsure of what I was doing. I too at this point wonder if it was post pardum or just the blues. Luckily for me it passed, but if you ever find the depression gets worse, or you feel like not being around your baby, or hurting him, seek help, there is no shame in it! Otherwise what helped me is getting out in the sun, and getting fresh air, eating fruits and veggies and trying to rest more (I know, easier said than done :P ) good luck and congrats on your new little man!!