23 answers

Mom to Be Needs Encouragement :-(

My husband and I got married last December, everything was great, we both had pretty good jobs, enough money in the bank etc... March 21st, I found out I was preganant, when I had my first OB apt. I was imidiately put on restrictions because I work with violent children. Of course my job claimed to have no other type of work for me, so my only option was FMLA (unpaid of course and only lasts 12 weeks). At the time I didn't apply for unemployment because with his job and our checking and savings accounts I knew we'd be ok for awhile. I also thought I could find another job in the mean time. Oh yeah, before we found out we were expecting we purchased a new SUV, and renewed the lease on our Townhouse which included a rent increase. Fast forward to May 30th...my husband returned to work from a week long business trip, and was told they were making cut backs and had to let him go.

So here we are both with no jobs, a rent increase, a new car and a baby on the way. I didn't realize how bad the job market in Michigan was until we found ourselves in this situation. After no luck with the job hunt and him only getting $1400 a month from unemployment (and me being denied because I was technically still employed) we decided to put our pride aside and apply for assistance.

We initially given health insurance, $278 for food assistance, and they also paid one of our utility bills. The next month we were told that our $1400 income exceded the limits and our food assistance was reduced to $10 a month. And we couldn't get rent assitance because there were no children living in the home under the age of 18. And to make matters worse, our health insurance was taken away also. Eventually I got mine back because I'm pregnant.

We've pretty much gone through most of the money we had saved up, my job officailly fired me because "I could no longer perform the job I was hired to do." And because of the way our union contract was written there was nothing I can do about it. Our parents really help us out, but things are getting really hard. My husband has began to seek work out of state, which is going to be hard if it comes to that with us being first time parents. I try to stay strong for him because he feels like he has failed me. But I of course don't feel that way...ok, I guess I've bored you all with our little story.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Ok...time for an update. Again thank you all for your prayers and words of encouragemnet. I have been doing alot of research on-line about jobs in Virginia. I have an older sister that relocated here with her husband and they love it. Also my husbands aunt told her son that he was looking for work and he's in VA also. After a few rounds of phone tag his cousin told him that he got him an interview (with the U.S. Government) we drove down there last week, and he has gotten the job. (I got in so much trouble with my OB for takinga road trip 35 weeks pregnant) So we will be relocating soon. My husband will be staying with his cousin until he saves up enough money to get a place for us. We're in the process of moving most of our things to our parents houses. I'll be staying with my parents until it's time for me to move down there. His mom loaned us the money to break our lease, and between our familes they've paid the car note for us. So things are really looking up for us. It's going to be really hard for us to move away from our familes but it has to be done. I our main concern now is that he'll be able to get back here in time for the birth of Jordan. If there is anyone that seeking change for the better because of the economy I highly suggest if you're willing to relocate that you look into VA. I was amazed at how the job market there is thriving, and how much better they pay. Again thank you all and keep us in your prayers adn we start our new life in VA.

Featured Answers

Hey L.!

I lived in Va. and LOVED it. Wish we would have never left! if you work with Children and want a family freindly agency to work for look into Texie Camp Mark Children's Center. They are an Early intervention and Head Start Agency. Best job I ever had!

Let me know if you do!

Good luck with the move and the baby!!!

Helpful? Yes | No Report This

Have you went to WICC for assistance? They have wonderful programs for women who are expecting and after having a child. I do not know about the income limits but I think with both of you unemployeed you may benefit.Just a thought.

Helpful? Yes | No Report This

More Answers

L.,

I would first like to praise you for staying as strong as you have through all that you have been going through. I am currently expecting a baby on Oct. 10. I have been going through some stressful finacial problems myself. I am going to be a single mother. I had to make a lot of decisions that I didn't want to make in order make things finacially comfortable for me and the baby. I am not telling you to do the things I have done, I'm just saying that you will do anything in order to make sure your baby is well taken care of and that is what I have had to do. I always tell myself that i can do without certain things, but my child can't.

In the last two months I have currently moved back in with family to save money for my maternity leave that I will not be getting paid for. I had so many debts to pay before the baby came that I couldn't do it anymore and I knew that I wouldn't be caught up before the baby came, it was stressing me out so bad and I couldn't stop thinking about how my stresses were effecting my unborn baby. I decided to file bankruptcy on everything except my car. So when I'm on leave I will still have to pay my car payment, car insurance, my storage unit, phone bill, gas and have extra money to buy things for my baby. So this is why I needed to save money for my FMLA. On top of all this I have been fighting with my ex-boyfriend trying to get him involved with my pregnancy and be a part of his babies life. It just seemed to be one thing after the next.

I have had a lot of support from my family, friends and co-workers. Things are finally starting to look up for me when I thought that it was just going to keep getting worse. I have been able to save money for my leave now that i live at home and my old debts have been wiped clean and I feel that I have fresh new plate to start on and I need that with all the expenses that a baby brings. I have had a huge weight lifed off my shoulders in these past two months.

You mentioned that you have applied for assistance. I live in Ohio and I'm not sure how things work in MI as far as qualifying for certain kind of assistance, but I have medicaid to pay for all of my medical bills for me and the baby. In order to qualify I couldn't gross more than $1900 a month. I don't know how it is in MI but you should be able to qualify if you are only making $1400 a month. I also get food coupons (not food stamps) and that gives me milk, eggs, cereal, juice, peanut butter and cheese every month for myself. When I have the baby, I will get coupons that pay for my formula. I applied for this support knowing that it will only be temporary until I get back on my feet because like others have said "you have to do what you have to do". I have had to swallow a lot of my pride and do things that I have tried to never have to do, but sometimes things happen that you aren't expecting and aren't prepared for.
Well, I think I've babbled on long enough. I just want you to know that things will get better, it may just be a matter of time. Until then try to get all the assistance you can qualify for until you get back on your feet. I have faith that things will work out for the best for you and your family. It did for me. Keep your head up and keep fighting for the sake of your baby.

K.

Helpful? Yes | No Report This

Hi L.,
Nothing in your request was boring!! My goodness, you are experiencing very stressful times in your life. Congratulations on your marriage and pregnancy! I read some of the other replies and it seems they've addressed my first line of advice: Contact WIC (Women and Infants with Children). I'm sure you will qualify for their beniefits. While they don't provide "groceries" or enough for the family to survive they do help a lot with things like: peanut butter, cereal, milk, eggs, cheese and fomula once the baby is born. They also make infant/child immunizations available. It's been 7 years since I utilized any of their benefits so don't quote me on the specifics. I want to commend you on your strength and efforts so far. You have a lot on your plate yet you are still going strong! Good luck with everything.
M. M.

Helpful? Yes | No Report This

First, take a deep breath....and relax. Don't stress. Althought it may be difficult because this is a very stressful situation, you have to try and remain calm so you don't deliver early. When I was preganant, I was in a horribly abusive relationship. I was working 60/hrs a week, and it still "wasn't enough" needless to say I delievered my daughter 6 1/2 weeks early (almost 11 weeks early). Just let your husband know that he hasn't failed you. It was out of his control. Try and stay focused on what is around you now. Although it may not seem like the lifestyle you are used to, it will get better! I will keep you in my prayers. I hope this helped. Just keep you chin up! :)

Helpful? Yes | No Report This

L.,
I know how you feel! I am from Michigan and we had to recently move to Illinois, because there just is not a lot of work there! We have one son who is 4 and we have no family here either! My husband now has a job and I am working part-time, so things are better, but we still a struggling to get caught up with all the credit card bills we made when we first got out here! Can you sell your SUV or trade it in for something lower in payment? Can you try to get out of your townhouse, try to get someone to sub-lease it? It is hard moving away, but it is doable, you have to do what you have to do, and if your husband can get a better job out of state, go for it! It is scary to be pregnate the first time and be in this situation, but things will work out, but you have to try to make the changes to make your life better! We live in a little two bedroom apt., we moved from an 1800 sq. ft. house in MI. We decided even if I do get pregnate this year, we will stay here and get some bills paid off before we buy another house. You do what you have to do! I hope all works out for you, I will pray for you and your family, mean while, keep your chin up, and always think of the good things in your life, there is always someone in a worse situation than you, even though sometimes it feels you are in the worst!
Take Care,
G.

Helpful? Yes | No Report This

Hi L.,

Im so happy you are happy congrats on the arrival of your new baby girl! I just wanted to tell you to continue trusting in the Lord and he takes care of everything, I am recently divorced with 3 small children and life was the worst for me but God works in mysterious ways sweetie, he knew i wanted to be home with my babies daycare was killing me working late too. But i was blessed to find a really good opportunity to work from home and have been more than successful with it. in a short time i was able to walk away from my job and work full time from home. The company is backed by the better business bureau and has an excellent reputation for almost 15 years, if you know someone that is looking for a financial way out PLEASE have them look into this wonderful job opportunity, its Ameriplan usa and the site is www.iboplus.com/40417843 it changed my life. Good luck with you and your husband and the baby may the Lord bless her to be healthy and happy.

-R. B.

Helpful? Yes | No Report This

As for the job situation, your husband should have a really good resume' and cover letter. It is worth the cost of paper and postage to sed this to as many companies as you can possibly afford. Many, many companies have jobs available that they are considering hiring for long before they actually decide to do it. An ideal candidate that drops in their lap during this interim is like manna from heaven - no advertising costs, interviewing 20 candidates, etc. But it's important that the cover letter makes your husband appear as someone another person would like to spend at least half an hour speaking with. People forget this. They think it's all busines, all cut and dried, but it's really people who make the decisions - I'm in H.R. so what I tell my friends - why would I want to commit half an hour of my time to someone who sounds completely stuffy and boring on paper? The key is confidence, professionalism, and and upbeat personality. You always want someone who really wants the job.

Best wishes to you!

Helpful? Yes | No Report This

Hi L.,

My name is L. Eggleston and I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. You mentioned Michigan in your story and I wondered what part you live in. My sister and her husband are youth pastors in Farmington Hills and are a young family.

I don't know if you are a praying person or not, but I will keep you and your husband in my prayers if that's ok with you. Take care.

Helpful? Yes | No Report This

Sue that company. They cannot fire you because of medical leave. I am serious, the same thing happened to my friend and she got all the money back from the time she got fired to the time she started working a new job. I am not kidding you will get some money out of that. But I am sorry to hear about your troubles. Keep in touch. And just to let you know, it always works out for the better.

Helpful? Yes | No Report This

Next question: Low Earning Slip

Explore Mamapedia

Michigan State University Special Needs business jobs care jobs dept of unemployment employment contract financial issues food jobs health jobs insurance jobs jobs minnesota management jobs michigan university new jobs oil and gas jobs state jobs unemployment unemployment figure university jobs usa jobs

Related Questions

Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Cancel Login
Forgot Password?
Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.
Cancel Login