Mom Suffering from Depression. Need Advice.

HELLO,
I'M SORRY TO HEAR YOUR GOING THROUGH SUCH A HARD TIME. ITS HARD ENOUGH HAVING LITTLE ONES LET ALONE BEING PREGNANT.

I DON'T LIVE CLOSE TO YOU BUT TRY THIS WEB SITE WWW.MEETUP.COM
IT IS A GROUP FOR STAY AT HOME MOMS. YOU JUST ENTER IN YOUR ZIP CODE AND IT WILL TELL YOU ABOUT GROUPS IN YOUR AREA IF THERE IS ANY. JUST ABOUT ALL THE ACTIVITIES ARE FOR YOU AND YOUR KIDS AND THEY HAVE MOMS NIGHTS OUT TO. I RECENTLY JOINED A GROUP HERE IN MY AREA AND I LOVE IT.

GOOD LUCK AND LOTS OF PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU.

HOPE

1 mom found this helpful

Honey, you NEED a mom's night out! I would have already lost it if I were you.

This is a tough situation...men can be so stubborn and cold hearted...did I mention uncompromising and unwilling to leave their 100% comfort zone...they don't want to be inconvenienced or pulled away from their very important couch time. So keeping this in mind...are you at all able to talk to your husband and help him to understand where you're coming from. Was it a mutual decision to have three children so close together? Is he at all able to comprehend that it's a very healthy, neccessary thing for you to get a break...it will make you a better wife and mother. If all else fails, you can use the "if you really love me..." line.

Good Luck!!

1 mom found this helpful

Wow! You are a busy woman. Congrats on your new baby. My heart really goes out to you b/c I used to have to raise my 2 girls without any help. I totally understand what you're going through. I hope you talk to your husband and really find out what is going on with him and your relationship. More stress is the last thing you need right now. I don't have any good advice, but what I can offer you is friendship. You can never have too many friends. Good Luck with your situation and contact me anytime.

1 mom found this helpful

If you have not talked to your husband about how you are feeling, you need to let him know. You cannot assume he is aware, because men are not as perceptive as women are about these things.

Tell him specifically how you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, tired, etc. Tell him you NEED his help, you NEED him to participate and work together as a team. They are his kids, too. That means he can learn how to change a diaper and take care of them since they are his responsibility, too.

Crying all the time is a major sign of depression. You need to talk to your doctor about this and perhaps get some medical intervention. At least tell your OB at your next visit.

Do you have any outside support from other family members? Is there someone you can trust to take the kids off your hands for a long afternoon once a week or so? You need some "ME" time where you can just take a nap or go to the library or something at least once a week.

What do you mean he only ALLOWS you to leave the house for 30 minutes? Don't LET him take advantage of you. I obviously don't know you or your husband and what kind of dynamic your relationship is like. However, he doesn't own you. You are your own woman, stand up for yourself and respect yourself. Don't let him control you for one more minute. That just pisses me off that he thinks he can call the shots and expect you to do everything around the house.

Sorry to be so long with this response. Please get some help for yourself even if your husband won't change. You deserve it for your own health and well being.

1 mom found this helpful

HI C.,

First of all start praying. The Lord will send the comforter to help you through what your going through. I am a woman who has suffered with depression for many years. It's hard and I understand just what your going through. But beleive me prayer helps. I find peace and joy in reading and listening to music. It soothes the soul. Start doing things that make you smile and laugh. You have to find yourself and know in your heart what makes you happy. You have two children that deoend on you and blessed with another on the way. Don't give up. Lift yourself up. If you ever want to talk just drop me a line and I will be there for you.

Blessings to you!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi C.! I am not sure that I can offer much feedback as I am only a mom of one but I can offer friendship. You can bounce things off of me and it could give you someone to talk to. My only advice to you is to try talking to your husband and see if there is some way you guys could work out once a week or every other week that you could get out an do something for yourself. It doesn't have to be extravagant, walk the mall, go to the bookstore. Just get out and have you time. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hello C., It sounds like you need to sit your husban down and tell him how you feel. You didn't say how old your husban was. After my husban and myself had are 3rd son my husban went thru a really wierd point in his life. It almost ended in the big D.We sat down and taked about each of are troubles and worked it out. Now we are the best of freinds and its all been good since. I think your husban need to get his car fixed you shouldn't be stuck at home with 2 baby and one on the way with now car. I wish you the best of luck with your two kids and the one on the way. you can email me any time. i am new to defiance ohio. ____@____.com luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I think you have already heard this but I am a SAHM of four and my husband works a swing shift with overtime so most of the time I am effectively a single mom but I know my husband is working hard for our family and so I can stay home with our kids and it is defintely hard I actually take medication for depression which helps alot but that may not be an option being pregnant. You have alot on your plate and it is easy to get discouraged but just try looking at all the positive atributes your husband has it is much easier to see the negative in the mean time try to take some time for yourself, get a babysitter even if it is just for you to go shopping by yourself. I too would love a girls night out but I think we live to far apart for that to be an option, try checking out the area for a mom's group that would be a great source of support for you. Hope any of this helped.

1 mom found this helpful

Hello. You are very busy and no wonder you are stressed out. I can completly understand what you are going through. My advice is to look at what your husband is going through. It seems that he is probably stressed about alot of the same things you are and not wanting to verbalize them. My husband behaves the same way alot of days, he is better with the children when they get older or are little babies; toddlers are not his thing. I think you should talk to your husband and tell him how it is so hard on you. When I get very upset with my husband I have to write him a letter so I can get it all out. You might want to look into a mom's group or night out in your area. Alot of churches do a mom's night out with babysitting available. I wish you lots of luck and you have my sincere sympathy.
Also, I have found it easier to talk to my husband after bouncing things off of one of my friend's that is male. He helps me phrase things that my husband can relate to. I noticed that there is a stay at home husband on this cite, I believe is name is Ron, he might be able to help u phrase things that your husband can relate to. I hope things get better.

1 mom found this helpful

C.,

Well, no wonder you are depressed! Your children are VERY close together and your body hasn't even had a chance to recover from baby #1 yet, and here you are growing #3. Feeling trapped at home only makes it worse.

I won't give you the standard advice of "try to find an hour to yourself every day" because that just never happens. Who are these great advice-givers who think it's a good idea to tell us things like that?

What I will tell you is that you have my utmost sympathy and understanding. I am sure you are doing a great job as a Mother! Try to find a quiet second or two each day and recount to yourself all the positive things you can think of--and write them down so you can read them later.

Where do you live, maybe we could get together--my boys are 5 and 3 (and play well with other kids), and I am NOT pregnant, so I have less stress.

Also, listen to happy music. It is OK to cry--it helps your body vent stress chemicals. And of course you are getting really big--that's OK; it is a temporary state.

Be well, and write again.

Best wishes,
K.

1 mom found this helpful

C.,
I know how you feel, I have been there too. Hang in there. It is soooo hard to do everything yourself and unbelievable when your husband is being so selfish. Have you sat him down and explained to him how you are feeling and what you are going through? You need time to yourself. You just have to put your foot down! Set aside a day once a week that allows you 5-6 hours of freedom, to do what ever you want. And he has to honor this for you. If he does not, take away a few of his priveledges as well. It has to be fair. Keep pounding it in his head.
If all else fails, just remember this - you have been given three amazing gifts from God, your children and you are doing an awesome job raising them. Take satisfaction and pride in that, despite your lack of help.
G.

1 mom found this helpful

Wow, bless your heart! If you don't put your foot down now, it will only get worse! It definitely should be his job to get the kids out of the car!
You also should have a vehicle because if one of those kids needs attention like right now, do you wait for him to get home? That's not that big of a deal I guess but I sure would feel trapped especially without someone over 4' to talk to once in a while.
Enjoy your little ones, you'll be looking back when they are teenagers longing for them to be little again:) Mom of 4 boys

1 mom found this helpful

hey i know what you mean about being a mom to 3 and not having any help!! you sound like me but the only difference is your kids are alot closer together in age, well thats a huge difference! its gotta be hard on you!! if you ever wanna chat drop me an email.. and maybe we could meet up and i could help you out a little i know how it is to need help, i just had a baby 5 weeks ago and was on bedrest for 4 months.. just let me know even if you just wanna chat :) ____@____.com

My husband started acting like that and he would leave the only vehicle we had on empty. Iwould go out and leave my phone at home, he's a big boy and he could take care of his child for once with out me. Of course, he would be mad when I got home but I just kept doing it until he asked why I keep leaving my phone at home. I told him that even though I was a mother I was still a woman and still needed some me time and time with my friends every once in a while. We would go get coffee, to the mall, or I would get my nails done or what ever.