Mom Seeking Marriage Advice?

my husband and i also got married young, and we have been through our share of problems. the thing that you must remember is to be open and honest with eachother. if only one of you wants to keep the relationship going it won't work. if you can you should go talk to a counsler, but make sure it is someone that you can both talk to freely and can trust. it may take him a long time to get over the fact that you cheated, but try to think about things from his side. when you do have fights think about how you would feel if it was him and not you that went outside your marriage. if he brings it up all the time you need to talk to him about the way it makes you feel and get him to talk about how he feels about it. it is never good to stay in an unhealthy relationship, but there is hope. if you both put yourselves into your relationship and try to fix things and are both willing to try to save it you can make it. remember to talk every day, be honest and open with eachother and try to remember why you fell in love in the first place. when my hubby and i got married our pastor told us that to make it work you need to wake up in the morning and think of one thing you can do that will let your spouce know that you care. do one thing every day and you will know that even if it doesn't work, at least you tried. another thing is to always look eachother in the eyes and hold hands when you argue, even if you want to say awful things to him and walk away, if you hold hands and look into his eyes it will make it harder to fight. don't worry too much about him joining the navy, sometimes a little time apart is all you need to remember how much you love eachother and miss one another. good luck, and if you ever need someone to chat with just message me.
-P.

I am sorry you and your husband are going through this right now. I can understand the pain and suffering of having an affair. It can take a long time for the person who was cheated on to feel safe and secure after being betrayed. I know that right now it feel hopeless. Maybe it would be helpful to seek out therapy. Sometimes just having someone listen to were you are both coming from opens you both up to healing. However there is a point when it is unfair to you to be beaten up about the affair. If he brings it up on a daily basis he needs help getting over it. Because it is only hurting you both to have to hash it up over and over again. It could take years more for him to let it go. But if the two of you got outside help he could very well heal sooner and both of you could get past all this and be married many happy years to come. I hope this was of some use to you. Please feel free to message me if you would like to talk more about this.
~L.

I think that you are at a point where if you want to make this work you need to get some outside help. You should try to see a marriage counselor that both of you feel comfortable with to talk through these issues and to teach the two of you how to better comunicate and effectively resolve problems.

My advice is don't argue with him anymore. I know that is hard to do, but you are the one who cheated on him-the father of your children. You should work to earn his trust back. Seek professional counseling.
Remember that you are setting the example for what relationships will be like for your children. If they see and hear arguing-they will think that is what relationships are like. Don't you want better for your children? I don't want to sound unsupportive but I just don't understand the whole cheating thing-especially when there are children involved.

End of the road? Hard to say. But you both need to work a LOT on your trust issues BEFORE he goes into the Navy. My hubby did 10 years and was gone for a total of 5 of them. I can GUARANTEE you (based on the fact that he's the type of guy to already throw your cheating in your face 2 years after the fact) that this will get worse as soon as he deploys. 6 months on a ship is hard enough for a guy whose wife NEVER cheated- because the guys really don't have a lot to do but sit and wonder if his wife is off messing around back home. You guys REALLY need to get counseling before he leaves, because it IS going to get worse once he's gone.