Mom Seeking Advise on Having 2 Boys Under 2 - - Mission Hills,CA

Hi,
I don't have 2 kids 'close' in age as yours, but I have 2 kids... thus, am used to the juggling act. LOL

Anyway, what works best, especially when you bring new baby home is... KEEP THE SAME ROUTINE FOR YOUR ELDEST SON, as is. Otherwise, it will be a 'transition' problem for him too. And a new baby is a 'new' thing in his life already... thus, keeping things as consistent for him as possible is best. Also, your eldest will need to know that he has his 'own' thing too... and he's not going to 'lose' anything or his 'specialness' just because of the baby.

Keep his naps as is... since it seems to work. Keep his nap times and pre-nap/pre-bedtime routines the same too. He already seems to be very good about his naps and bedtime.. so KEEP that. No sense in tampering with something that already works for your child.

The thing that for me works best, is keeping a routine daily, not doing things haphazard. When a child 'knows' the routines for themselves and of the family... then they are then 'cued' into the whole scheme of things... and thus, in time and later down the road... it will be 'easier' to get them organized. I'm not talking hard-core structure or 'scheduling.' Just a stable framework of things. Then that way, the child ALSO 'learns' the daily 'habits' of his Parents and the family. Thus, no 'culture shock' or abrupt changes for them to protest about etc. AND it provides the child with knowing what will come up and knowing what to expect and what to do. For me, this works. Children really benefit by having a 'routine' and knowing what is coming up. Even in schools they do this. And for you, it'll make the day more sane because you won't have to 'guess' at what to do next with all of them.

See what works for you... but by all means, really 'allow' your son to have his 'own' routine... and keep it the same as much as possible. Sometimes, once a new baby comes the eldest gets lost in the shuffle, because it is busier. You'll also need to make time JUST for your eldest son. One on one time.

It's great your Hubby has taken responsibility for his new role as well. That is great!

And with your new baby... as soon as he is developmentally old enough to be more regular about his naps/bedtime as well... then you can get him into a 'routine' too.

And, don't worry if some days are just bonkers! LOL It can't be helped. It's all a learning curve for all, once you have 2 kids or more! Once you get to know your new baby and what works or doesn't... then that will help as well.

All the best, and congratulations,
Susan

I know that I am late with this one, but I wanted to let you know that the first few months are the hardest =} I have three kids, one girl who is 9 and two boys who are 4 and 3 (14 months apart) I kept to the older boys schedule as much as possible and that baby just went with it ~ he did not know any other way then what we taught him LOL. Again the first few months are the hardest, the new baby needs alot of attention and big brother is still a baby and still needs alot of attention, and big brother is not old enough to 'understand' all the life changes. I want to mention that your husband is amazing to take on so much, but PLEASE dont forget to have husband bond with the new baby and for you to spend some quality time with big brother too! If you are the one who always baths big brother then you need to find a way to keep ONE of those things as a mommy thing, big brother will get more upset if mommy is no longer his major care giver and he will be jealous of the new baby that 'took' his mommy away! We know that this is all short lived, but at less then two years old he does not know that this will pass quickly! Alos have Daddy start doing alot of these things BEFORE the baby comes home so he does not relate the baby to the changes in his normal schedul.
In several months things get easier, and then they get WONDERFUL! There was another rough spot when the boys were around 1.5 and 2.5, this was the part of gettin them in and out of the car! LOL Before this the smalles was in an infant carrier/carseat and now they are BOTH in big seats and when you get one kid out he will run off while you are getting the other one out! =} I use to stand on one leg while using the other leg to hold onto the 2 year old while I was trying to get the 1 year old out of his seat =} Toddlers are full of energy, dont listen well and are impulsive ~ to say the least, and with two of them......
I can smile and laugh about it now, and watching the two of them as they grow and play and use their imaginations makes my heart fill with joy. It is just a matter of gettin thru each phase TWICE that is the hard part =} Good luck and God bless!
Sorry this was so long =} But it made me smile to think of the years that have passed and the 'phases' that we have made it thru!

My oldest (boy) turned 20 months on the day my twins (boy/girl) were born. With 3 under 2, we had to become extremely scheduled. We worked hard to not let things interfere with our scheduled meals/feedings and naptimes because when they did, we could quickly descend into chaos - lol! We did not alter the schedule of my oldest and for the first 12 weeks or so with the twins, we followed the never awake for more than 2 hours rule with them. This perhaps lasted a bit longer for them since they arrived a bit early. By around 3 months, I was able to get a bit of a break by scheduling one of their naps during my oldest's naptime. As far as meals and feedings, we again kept my oldest's schedule and as the twins aged, we gradually moved them to a similar schedule. As PP have said, you will figure out what works for you. It will be difficult at first, but it will all come together. My twins are now a few months over 2 and they are super close with my oldest, particularly the 2 boys are very close. It's a joy to see how close they are and makes those early weeks / months / first year totally worth it. You will find that it becomes measurably easier every week and every month. That's still true even in my case.

i have two boys 3 yrs and 17 mo. just know that you can make it and it is just a phase that will pass. soon they will be playing and enjoying each other. i am due with our third a few days ago and am wondering how i will be able to do this. good luck