Aw, sweetheart, so many of us have moms who are needy. They have never figured out that life changes and they would be happier if they could change with it. Your mom is trying desperately to create and control the one version of life that she thinks will keep her happiest and most comfortable.
That's not your fault, and you DO have a right to set your own course through life. It's so hard to remember that when we're getting anger, or tears, or guilt from our parent, who was under our skin and in our brains from such an early age we had no knowledge of it.
My mom's a lot like yours, but if tears don't work, she'll try anger. It used to work on me, over and over, until I just GOT it that I'm a grownup now, and I get to make my own decisions. My mom fought this for a few years, and it's been especially tricky because she lives next door. But she gradually stopped expecting to be included in those events that I wanted for myself, and things have settled into a new "normal."
One approach that has helped me tremendously in this process of change is called Non-Violent Communication (or NVC). You can google this for descriptions and examples, books and local classes if you're interested. Good stuff.
I'd just like to add, when my grandson was little, there were a couple of occasions that my daughter became upset about how I handled something that she wanted done differently. I'm a very sensitive person, and in spite of trying my best not to, I ended up crying. This upset my tender daughter – she later said that she didn't feel there was any way to offer me a critique that wouldn't upset me. I had to reassure her that I DID receive her critiques, and simply couldn't help the tears – I was genuinely sad that I had disappointed her. So keep in mind, sometime tears are just tears.