MOM, Can You Wipe My Butt?!

My 6.5 yr old does this as well. I usually help him, but only because I don't want him walking around smelling like poop and then ultimately he ends up with a sort of diaper rash!! We tried the flushable wipes but they clog up the toilets (I've had several plumbers say there is no such thing as a 'flushable' wipe that's ok for the household system!). My son doesn't necessarily get it on his hands but he just doesn't wipe well. My husband chastises me for doing it but I don't care. Like someone said, they all grow up!!

Hi S. 6 1/2 years and still wants you to wipe his butt sound like he wants attention. If he doesn't have any disabilities he can do it himself. Not getting personal but does he see his father much or are you the only person he's really around? I would suggest counseling if it continues. Because at this age he should be doing this himself without any problem.

Just further assurance you are not alone. my almost 7 year old still has difficulty with this. But it does get better. He's not asking for help anymore, but we still have the track in his undies. One of his chores is laundry (taking to the laundry room and sorting colors) so we have added checking pockets and looking for stains to pre-treat. he IMMEDIATELY noticed how gross his underwear was.
Improvement continues. ;-)

OMG I feel you. My niece is 8 AND A HALF and still calls for her mom/grandma to help her clean up after a poop. In their case it is partly cultural, as they teach kids to actually wash with water each time, and I guess that it can get kinda messy. I think it's beyond weird, but I'm not the one who has to clean it!
I taught my nephews "keep wiping til you don't see brown" and we also keep baby wipes in the bathroom if they need it. I think with boys sometimes they are just sloppy. I know my husband sometimes leaves "evidence" in his undies!

I'm also dealing with this issue with my 4 year old. I have her wipe herself first, and then I tell her I will also do it. She didn't like this arrangement at first, but I flat-out refused to go in there until she gave it the ole college try first :)

Flushable wipes are also very helpful at this age. like Kandoos.

Before you get "professional butt-wiper" business cards made up, know there is hope =)All kids do this, but by age 6 he is just being lazy. Instruct him the proper way to wipe. Maybe he needs to actually stand up and reach around and wipe. Do not do it for him, or will never learn to do it for himself properly. When at home, I would check after he has wiped to make sure there is no poop in the undies or on his hands. If he hasn't wiped properly gently instruct him to go back in the bathroom for a second try. He will realize that he needs to take the time and wipe correctly the first time if he doesn't want to go back. It should carry over to school once he gets to be a better wiper at home. Remind him to wipe good at school too. If he gets it on his hands, it shouldn't matter because he should be washing his hands well after each trip to the bathroom. If he isn't than now is the time to show him that he must wash hands after every trip to the bathroom with soap and water. Good hygeine can be a pain to teach, but is neccessary and you'll be glad you took the time now rather than clean skid marks out of your 10 year olds underwear because they never learned the proper way.

Yes, isn't that fun to do. My 7yr old did this for awhile, but it was because she had constipation issues, and needed some help. Maybe you could have him use a wet flushable wipe ( only 1) after wiping with toilet paper.

L.

My son is 7 and does the same thing! I had to read the respones!!!

Hi S.,
I'm in the same boat with my son is turned 6 in October! He'll always call me in there to do it! Now I've been telling him he is a big boy and he can do this on his own and when he is done I will check to see how well he did. So that's what we have been doing now. I will check him and most times he did a pretty good job.

I wonder sometimes if it's just a boy thing, because his twin sister has been doing it on her own for sometime now.

I'm going to eventually tell him that he does a great job and I don't need to be checking him any longer! This will be very soon.

Good Luck!

S., Your message made me smile. When my kids were 14, 8 and 6 I gathered them all in the kitchen. And said I have an announcement. They all looked at me and I said "I am no longer going to do the following.... Make dads coffee, make rachael's lunch (she was in highschool), tie andrew's shoes (he was 8) or wipe Joey's butt (he was 6) you would have thought I had said I was going to live with the martians. But it was a step they all needed to take. and amazingly they all managed to do those jobs on their own.
ps: I do make the hubbies coffee still lol.

Well you could show him how to wipe instead of doing it for him. Show him how to hold the tissue so it does not end up on his hands and how to make sure the area is clean before he pulls up his underwear. You may have to do this several times before he gets it but once he has it then your job is done. Tell him that he must make sure he is clean so that he doesn't smell. I am a teacher and I had an 8th grader that must not have learned this lesson because the odor was really aweful some days and he would get teased. You can save your son from embarrasment.

Been there done that! I read all the responses and I have a different suggestion. I have a wiping board. It is an instructional picture board that is laminated. I purchased mine from www.littlefriendsinc.com but you could make one. Basically it is a step by step instructions that include pulling down pants, sitting on the toilet, unrolling the toilet paper, wiping 4Xs(shows the kids wiping 4 separate times), pulling up pants, flushing the toilet and finally washing hands. I have two sons and they are both have high functioning autism so this was an issue for us and is was not just "laziness" Also since he is in school you want to geet on this asap because alot of teasing in school is done in the bathroom away from the teachers.(found out the hard way with my oldest)

We used the pre-moistened wipes that you can buy. Most stores had them in the toilet paper aisle. They seemed to make it a little easier and enable kids to do a better cleaning job than toilet paper alone. Good Luck!

First off, I don't think this means there is any 'problem' with your son or anything to do with role models etc- It takes a lot of kids a while to learn to wipe thoroughly!

I went through the same thing with my son when he was younger. One thing is to go over with him the right way to wipe- front to back- and have him wipe, but you watch him a few times to be sure he understands how to really get things clean.

Also, those Kazoo ( I think that's what they are called?) damp kid's wipes are really helpful and will get more than just regular toilet paper. Get him some of those.

It just takes time and practice like any other skill, lol. I don't think it is that he is 'lazy' or doesn't want to be clean or is unable to wipe- boys especially just seem to be pretty impatient when it comes to hygiene!!

I'll keep this short and to the point....

Stop wiping him and have kids wipes sitting on the toilet tank for him to use.

Have a nice weekend

I'm sorry, that's so funny. My 2 youngest yell, "come and wipe me" in a melodic tone. My older ones did it also, sorry no advice. It's gross. You're not alone. They all grow up.

Since you want him to be clean I think you might need to ease out of this role. Maybe you could come in and talk him through it while he does it on his own and then "check his work" when he has finished. Once he has been doing it good for a bit then maybe just supervise for a short while, then hopefully he will be able to do it completely on his own. I do think using a moist wipe at the very end helps ensure a clean behind. I suppose at some point he will develop a desire for privacy, but until then if you are willing he will ask.