Miscarriage Imminent. This Is the Worst!

BIG hugs to you, honey.

Please don't take their behavior to heart negatively. The PA and the Tech are NOT doctors, so they aren't allowed to say anything till the doctor looks at the results. I would guess they pull back because it does affect them.

Just wanted to say I am so sorry.
I hope you have family around. Even though you didn't tell anyone they would want to comfort you now.

I had a doctor in the practice be very cold about my miscarriage and I refused to be seen by him ever again. I realize medical professionals need to think of things differently, but sometimes it makes it harder. Maybe they didn't say anything because even sympathy would cross boundaries they can't. I'm so sorry. I know it is hard.

Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry. Big hug to you. Please don't sweat the tech & PA. My guess is that they aren't quite sure how to handle this sort of thing, don't want to give false hope and at the same time don't want to overstep their boundaries & tell you something that they can't be sure is accurate. I'm sure it's hard for them to know exactly what to do (though not as h*** o* you, for sure!).

Hug --

I am so sorry for all of this. Yes, sometimes the medical community sees things so often that they are pretty cold about it. I had a very early miscarriage once and went to the ER...the doctor there treated me like I was wasting her time eventhough I had just been to urgent care who tested me for pregnancy (positive) and were concerned that I might have an etopic pregnancy.

I followed up with a doctor a week or two later and I remember sitting in the waiting room watching all of the heavily pregnant women come and go. I was an emotional wreck and wondered why they couldn't have a separate area for folks in my situation....

Oh I am so sorry for what you are going through. It's so heartbreaking to experience this, and then to have to wait for something to happen just adds to the pain. There are no words.

I'm glad you like your doctor. As for the tech and the PA, they may just be so uncomfortable with the bad news, or they may be prohibited from saying anything until the doctor says "it's definite". I know many ultrasound techs (and mammogram techs, and xray techs) who just cannot say anything about what they see on the screen or the films, because they are not allowed to. "Only the doctor can diagnose" is the rule. So they avoid eye contact because they don't want you to see the knowing look in their eyes. It's possible they are cold, but it's more likely that they are prevented from saying anything.

Please surround yourself with supportive family and friends, and get whatever professional support you need to get you through this very painful time.

My thoughts are with you.

I was told my nine pound, three oz. baby boy was going to miscarry, was told he was possibly dead already and was told I estimated the time incorrectly. He was very big and they thought he could be twins. They did a test on me later and thought he was Downs Syndrome.
He is twenty two.
I can't read the future, but I do know it aint over til it's over. I wouldn't be so quick to decide this is it. I recall saying outloud to the ultrasound tech, why are you so cold? sometimes people need to really have a heart. My heart goes out to you right now, it is so hard...

I am so sorry.
I would say, however, that the techs weren't intentionally being cold, but it is a clinical mindset that they tend to have. My SIL is a nurse, and when it comes to injury or illness she is VERY clinical and not very sympathetic. I suspect it has to do with self-protection due to the nature of their jobs. Not that they don't have any sympathy.

Oh Girl!! I am soooo sorry!! But it isn't over yet!! DO NOT GIVE UP!!!

Please get a POSITIVE attitude - PLEASE!!! DO NOT GIVE UP!!!

I'm sorry about your doctor's office tech's how sad. I would complain and tell the doctor how you were treated. It might be that they HAVE to disconnect from people in the office - think of how many patients they see and if they got emotionally involved in all of them....they STILL can show compassion though...

HUGS to you!!

I apologize, but I am not seeing how far along you are.

The first time I went through this, I was 6 months pregnant. It was the day before my birthday and I thought I was going to find out the sex of the baby.
Instead, I had a shocked ultrasound tech who excused herself to go call my doctor. I sensed right away that something was wrong. She shut the machine off so I couldn't see anything. She came back and asked me to get dressed and go to the radiology office in the hospital and wait for my doctor to call. There were people in there waiting to have x-rays on broken legs or colonoscopies and here I was, very confused.

My baby was gone. I had to go back and have hormone levels tested just to be sure, but I carried that baby for four more days. I opted to just be knocked out get it over with. My daughter was very young and she doesn't even remember any of it. I'd been in the hospital so many times in her little life with reproductive issues, I guess it seemed normal to her.

Flash forward. My daughter was many years older and I was scheduled for a hysterectomy. I started feeling ill and couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I was pregnant. Surprise. I didn't tell my daughter or anyone other than my mom and husband. I was bleeding heavily which was very unusual for me. They couldn't find a heartbeat and said it wasn't a viable pregnancy.

They let me go home to then go through the hormone level tests again to make sure before ending it and just taking the baby. I was devastated.
However, my hormone levels didn't go down, over the several days, they tripled. My baby was a fighter. Then, I was struck with shingles and we both were touch and go.

Now, my son is 17, perfectly healthy, beautiful, the absolute joy of my life. He and I have such a close bond.

I just want to say that my heart breaks for you. I had two almost exactly same situations, but for me, the second one turned out to be a miracle.
I'd already lost one baby. Fetal demise was all they could say. My doctor was very sweet and kind, but what are people supposed to say when this happens? It was the day before my birthday. Right before Christmas. People were devasted for me and I don't think that some of them really knew what to say.

My heart is with you no matter what happens.
Like I said, the second time, for me, I held out no hope because I'd already been so hurt.

When it comes to these things, I really believe that God knows what he's doing. I'm not overly religious, but I am spiritual. I believe that no matter how painful, some things happen for a reason and as human beings, we can't always understand or fathom it.

You will be okay.

Best wishes.

I had that happen.
At 6 weeks.
And I miscarried.
And I had a DNC.
I was alone at the time, no one with with me.
Hugs to you.
It is a hard time.

The Tech and PA, is probably like that because, yes, they cannot get emotionally vested in each, patient. They would lose their jobs, just from burnout. They do care, but it is also a very emotional time... for the patient and for them. But, they have to be professional and they know the patient is at an emotional time... so they cannot create any friction or drama or emotional outbursts for their patient. They TRY... to contain things in the office. Hence, you may think they are "cold." They are not.

Again, that happened to me. I never took it personally. I know, they have to retain their medical, frame of mind. At a time when the patient is not necessarily logical because of the emotionality of the situation.

Again, I have never taken it personally.

Hugs.
When I miscarried, my Husband had a hard time dealing with it. Men don't necessarily know what to do either nor how to "help" their Wife. So bear that in mind. So you may have to.... "tell" your Husband, what you need or not, to process all of this.

Go to your appointment next week, with your Husband, if you can. Ask him.

The living moment is everything.Believe anything is possible.

Sorry you are going through this. My Dr.s office experience was similar. My regular Dr. was very sympathetic but when I had to see her partner while she was unavailable he was cold. The answer is yes, this is all very routine to them. 1 in 3 confirmed pregnancies ends in miscarriage. Try not to let the dr. get to you.
I have passed three natural miscarriages no D&C's. One happened while I was waiting for my scheduled D&C. try not to let it scare you too much. I actually think a natural miscarriage is a good way to grieve. The continutal bleeding and at times cramping is a reminder of your emotional pain. Its cathartic really. I feel it truly speeds the grief process. The physical act of miscarriage helped me embrace my grief and when the bleeding stopped weeks latter, I also felt it was time to move on emotionally.
D&C's are good if you are a working mom since a miscarriage can leave you at home for days on end. My Dr. told me that its very rare for the yolk sac to come out in tact. In my case it did so my body had to dilate. I won't say it didn't hurt but having been through it, I can honestly say that level of pain does not scare me. It was very doable.

Wish I could be there with you.

And sorry about your crappy drs office.

Please be good to yourself, ok?

:(

I'm sorry for what you're going through:( Praying for a miracle for you and sending hugs your way.

I'm so sorry. I have been there 4 times. I left a practice because I felt the staff not my doctor were awful during one of my miscarriages. There are better practices but I don't think you will ever get the love and tenderness you are searching for except from someone who has grieved the same loss. A natural miscarriage can give you time to mourn as it takes a while. Again, I'm so sorry.

I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug.

I think with the techs they just don't know how to react or what to say.
They may feel sorrow but don't know what to say to you.

You'll be in my prayers.

I am so sorry. I went through something similar with my first miscarriage, and I switched practices right after that.

Please take care of yourself. I'll keep my fingers crossed that your next ultrasound is more hopeful. In the meantime, if any of your friends and family offer to drop off meals or watch the kids, take them up on their offers.

I just wanted to say I am so sorry. I had a miscarriage years ago and it happened naturally at home. It was pretty aweful. If you do start the process at home, go to the er. I am sorry the staff was so cold to you. You are in my prayers. Big big hugs to you.

No one really knows the pain of how you are feeling except you. There are so many women out there that have felt as you have and no one will have the best words for you. Its so hard to be the one carrying the burden of the sorrow. I have been reading your questions and my heart is breaking for you. Want nothing more than everything to be ok for you.

Didnt read all the questions but in my opinion they have to detach sometimes or it would effect them so negatively. They see as much joy as they see sorrow. I had 2 miscarriages. My first of course was the hardest, because emotionally I was at the all time high in excitement. I had to have a doctor I didnt know at all (ER) give me a vaginal ultra sound to tell me no baby was there it was re-absorbed and only placenta which was producing enough hormone to keep me acting pregnant. That night it came out and it was the most heartbreaking ordeal I thought I could endure. Till the 2nd one that spontaneously aborted at 15 weeks. The doctors and nurses were fairly cold about that one as well. I didn't have as much of an emotional reaction to that one. Then I had my stillborn son at 5 months. In that case the doctors were extremely supportive. The nurses all kind and caring and helpful.
If anything with the 3 living children I had, every single delivery I had one or 2 nurses that needed attitude changes for sure. With my 3rd child I actually requested a totally different nurse I was so angry with that one.

I'm so sorry. I had a miscarriage many years ago, no matter what anyone says, it just hurts. I still think about that LO.

Have a talk or write a letter to your doctor about her unfeeling staff. She may not know and she should.

Hugs to you.

I am so sorry! I know this is hard! I have been there. I think many people just don't know how to act. At leas that is what I tell myself. I choose to give them the benefit of the doubt. My heart goes out to you and my prayers are with you.

I'm so sorry. I've been wondering about you with this.

If it were me, I think I would write the doctor a letter and hand it to her to read after this is over. Tell her how you feel about the way the staff acted towards you.

I think it will make you feel better and I also think it will help these women to know that how they act around mothers actually matters. If you say nothing, then nothing will change.

Sending you hugs and hopes that your husband might somehow get to stay instead of leaving... (don't know if that's possible...)

Dawn

Oh sweety, I'm SO SO sorry. :( *HUGS*

I guess we all "cope" with situations like this in different ways. Maybe the sonogram tech just doesn't deal well (so she's in the wrong line of work, if you ask me). I, for one, would be absolutely worthless in that tech's situation. I have no idea how to comfort people.

My thoughts & prayers are with you.