April 18, 2009,
R.L. asks from Valley Cottage, NY on July 25, 2008
Miscarriage at 15 Weeks
Hi, I just went to my doctor yesterday for my 15 week check-up. When she did the ultrasound, the baby wasn't moving and there was no heartbeat. I was at the hospital just 8 days prior for the genetic testing and I saw the baby and it was moving around and everything was fine. Some sometime between then and now something went wrong. We're pretty devastated, but trying to focus on nature taking it's course. That something didn't go right, so it just didn't work out with this little one. We go back to the doctor today for one more scan and to discuss our options. Has anyone been through this? I don't know what to expect or how to prepare myself. Any suggest or advice would be great. Oh, we are planning to do testing after to find out what went wrong with the baby. So, that is for sure. I'm more concerned with "what" actually happens, how your body heals, how long it takes, what I can do to help my body. That sort of thing. I also fear that when we try again, I'll never feel safe with my pregnancy again.
S.K. answers from New York on April 18, 2009
I am so sorry for your loss! It is just really, really devastating! I had multiple miscarriages...one at 20 wks and one at 17 weeks...also a couple of early miscarriages at around 6-8 wks. I had to take a blood thinner (injection) and/or baby aspirin with my pregnancies (I have 4 children). I believe the condition is called (please excuse my spelling) anticartilipin anti-bodies...in any case it has to do with a clotting factor. Good luck! I saw Dr. Reavis in Patchogue, NY (although he did not diagnose the condition, it was so long ago...I cannot recall who I saw. My oldest is 12 and I have a 9 year old and an almost 8 year old and my youngest is 2)...I do not think he is a specialist but was able to deliver 3 of my babies...the first was delivered by another doctor...with that pregnancy I only had to take baby aspirin.
M.P. answers from New York on July 25, 2008
so sorry for your loss,
i have had 2 miscarriages before finally giving birth to a beautiful son 3 months ago
this pregnancy was full of worries , i was so obsessed with listening to his heartbeat every day (i purchased a fetal monitor)
there is a great website that i go to every day: its called www.babyfit.com ,,,they have great message boards, wonderful supporting mommies who went through the same things and when you get pregnant again you will have a due date club, you can communicate with mommies all throughout your pregnancy, its just a great support/vent message board, it helped me a lot to ease my anxiety about my pregnancy,
i wish you all the best and good luck with your future pregnancy!
C.G. answers from Springfield on July 25, 2008
I too had a loss at 20 weeks. I know how devastating it can feel. Let yourself grieve and mourn your loss. Unfortunately time is the only thing that will help, as well as your toddlers sweet little face! In my experience, I had to deliver my baby vaginally and my body healed fine, the days following felt like a bad period, it was the emotional healing that was harder. I luckily got pregnant 3 months later and now have a beautiful, healthy 10 month old girl. I can't imagine my life without her and I know that I wouldn't have her if I didn't go through what I went through. You probably will not feel safe with future pregnancies... I know I did not, but you obviously can do it since you did it before! I hope you can find some peace.... don't give up hope. You WILL be OK.
D. answers from New York on July 25, 2008
I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks almost 2 yrs ago. It was very upsetting. One of the babies never formed. The other stopped growing at 5 weeks. I miscarried on my own I didn't need a D & C. When the pathology report came back it was determined to be a blighted ovum (under developed egg). So it was nothing I did and there was nothing I could do to have saved it. Knowing that helped some. But it was still hard. I got pregnant again with my daughter just 6 wks after the miscarriage. My pregnancy was very hard, not just mentally but physically. I had a bleeding problem, so everytime I started to bleed I was freaking out. Once we found out what it was it made things easier, but my whole pregnancy was plagued with worry. It would have been a difficult pregnancy even without the miscarriage. But that didn't help. The one thing you need to know, is that there was nothing you could do. There was something that happened in the developmental process that went wrong. Also, take the time to mourn the lose of this child. Let yourself cry and yell and hurt. There is nothing you can do about any subsequent pregnancies. They will be plagued with worry, and even when you've been reasured for the millionth time, you'll have doubt until you hold that healthy child in your arms. And that is o.k. we are mothers and we worry. I'm sad for you. But time will mend your heart. And that is what you need right now. Take that time before you decide to start this process all over again.
R.R. answers from New York on July 25, 2008
I am sorry, it does mean that something was not right. I was at the same stage when I lost my second child. We were devestated as well of course. After the ultra sound was done and they could not get a heartbeat the doctor told us our options. We were to wait and see if my body did what it needed to do on its own, which it did I went into labor at home I did not have to do a D&C ( which gave me nightmares, kept thinking what if they are wrong) Of course they weren't docs take great care but it still unreasonably crossed my mind. If you go into labor it will not be as painful as a full term, but still painful. If you are at home Be prepared to bring the little one to the doc office, I had to so they could find out what went wrong. That was very difficult to do. Conclusion they didn't find any clinical reason,the pregnancy was falty. You will mourn as with any loved one. You will still have post partum and the usual things after pregnancy. They may differ slightly, hopefully unnoticable. Same time frame heeling. Ask your doctor it may be changed at this time. You can start anew when the doc gives the ok, or wait till you are comfortable trying again. We tried again almost 1 1/2 years later. My next pregnacy I was a very worried person and my husband wouldn't let me do anything, very frustrating, had a healthy boy. I'm sorry to say You don't stop worrying. The doctor will monitor you more closely, meaning more visits possibly more tests than the usual. I have 5 children now.