C.S. asks from New River, AZ on October 29, 2008
Miscarriage - Westbury, NY
Hi everyone. I'm writing for support from other moms who have had miscarriages. I had the D & C on the October 17th. I was in my 10th week but the baby died around week seven. This was our first pregnancy and I know that it is very common. I guess what I'm looking for is: after your miscarriage, how did your doctor care for you during your next pregnancy, and what precautions or restrictions did he/she give you, if any? My doctor said that when I get pregnant again, he will do more sonograms. We didn't get in depth about it, but I would like to know your experiences the second time around. And they are testing our baby to see what caused the miscarriage. We don't get the results back for a few more weeks yet. Did anyone experience this kind of testing and what did the results show? Also, how quickly did you get pregnant the next time? We were fortunate to get pregnant the first month and we're hoping that it will happen just as quickly the second time. FYI: The only symptoms I experienced were sore breasts. I had no morning sickness and would often say, "I don't even feel pregnant." Maybe that was a warning sign. Thanks in advance.
D. answers from New York on October 29, 2008
I miscarried my 2nd pregnancy at 9 wks. The baby stopped developing at 5 weeks, and I started to bleed at 8 weeks. They pathology showed that a under-developed egg became fertilized (this shouldn't happen, but it does from time to time). The midwives recommended different things. One said that I should wait 3 mos and the other told me I could start as soon as I was ready, but to wait one cycle so that they would be more easily able to date the pregnancy. I did wait the one cycle and got pregnant just 6 weeks after the miscarriage. The doctors office didn't treat me any more differently then any other pregnancy, because miscarriage is so common. But I did request an ultrasound early on to see that the baby was developing as it should be. I did have a difficult pregnancy. I had bleeding problems (unrelated to the pregnancy) and it made it very stressful for me. But I made it through and delivered a healthy, happy baby girl just 10-11 mos after the miscarriage. You need to remember this. Miscarriage is very hard on women. Morn the lose of this child, cry, scream, yell, rant and rave. But give yourself time. Don't start until you are mentally ready to start again. With the miscarriage, I didn't even have sore breasts. I had nothing. With my son I got sore boobs and tired (I could have gone to be at 9 in the 1st trimester). But I never really felt pregnant with him. My pregnancy was cake. So don't go by what your feeling. It will happen, just give it time.
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C.R. answers from New York on October 29, 2008
Hi... I was 13 wks when I had my M/C. They did a sonogram and there was no heartbeat. I had the D&C 4 days later. They told me the baby died at 10 wks. I felt the same way.. I didn't feel poregnant anymore and everyone told me I was crazy for thinking that so when it happened, it validated what I was feeling. I did get pregnant within 6 months. We weren't really "trying" bc I was so distraught over the whole thing but then it happened. When we did decide to try again, it happened within 2-3 months. We got the results back from the lab that the baby was triploid. (69 xxy) That means it was tripled chromosomes. (you're only supposed to have 46) It would've been a boy, BC of the y chromosome in there.(69 xxx would be a girl.)but they told me the baby had no chance at living. It was a heart with a bunch of cells around it. No one in my family ever had a M/C so it was hard. My second pregnancy they did sonograms more, mainly bc I was paranoid and called for EVERY LITTLE THING! And that's okay to do. My dr's understood and were great. And 15 months after I had my daughter, I got pregnant again, with a boy, and I was better with that pregnancy, not as scared. You will get through it, I know how you feel and its so hard. There were no precautions, bc the m/c wasn't bc of anything I did. They'll tell you what to do. Hope things work out for you and take it easy. It's still new.
One thing I do have to say is I hated when people tried to justify the M/C by saying, "it usually happens with the 1st one." That just made me so angry bc thats not what was supposed to happen to me. (at least that's what I thought.) I blamed myself for a long time until I got the results. You may never know what happened but it will happen again for you.
Take care... I hope I helped in some way.
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D.S. answers from New York on October 29, 2008
I am so sorry for your loss I know what a terrible time this can be. I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy as well and had to have a DNC. This was 25 years ago so I am not sure if doctors advice has changed but this is what happened to me. I went for a sonogram at around 12 weeks because the doctor could not find a heartbeat in the office. I remember telling the doctor that my nausea had gone away, my breasts were no longer sore and I felt so much better. He looked worried and ordered a sonogram. The baby had died, I am not sure when so he ordered a DNC because the pregnancy was not going to abort on its own. It was probably the most difficult time in my life. Back then they didn't have separate wings for this type of situation so after the procedure they put me on the maternity floor in a room with a mom who had just given birth. Talk about cruel, I insisted on leaving right away because it was like putting a kid in a candy shop. Anyway the doctor did not know what had happened and no tests were performed. He suggested I wait for three months and I did. I became pregnant with no problem 3 months later and gave birth to a beautiful son who is now 24 with absolutely no complications. It was a perfectly normal pregnancy, I was not considered high risk, no restrictions or precautions. Believe me until they found a heartbeat with this pregnancy I was very nervous but everything worked out great. What you said about not feeling pregnant sounds just like what happened to me so I am sure that was a sign. I know your emotions are probably all over the place first sadness, and then anger (why me) but trust me you will be fine. Once you discuss this with other women you will be shocked at how many women this has happened to and will not feel so alone. About 4 years later I became pregnant with my daughter without any trouble the only complication I had was I had a tiny bit of bleeding in the beginning (which freaked me out) but they did a sonogram and she was fine and is now 19 years old. I know it is a difficult time but once you try again I am sure you will have no problems. Good luck to you and your husband with your future family!!
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A.M. answers from New York on October 30, 2008
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad to see that you're in good spirits and hope that you get pregnant again quickly! Good luck!
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