Miscarriage - River Falls,WI

I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. I was advised to wait 3-6 months before getting pregnant again. This seemed like an awful long time since we had waited so long to be parents, but looking back my husband and I needed that time to heal both physically and emotionally from the loss. We actually didn't get pregnant again until around 8 months after my miscarriage. You will know when the time is right. I was terrified I would have another miscarriage, but ended up having a normal, full term pregnancy with no complications. We now have a wonderful 21 month old daughter and I am pregnant with our second child. One thing I found helpful in the days and weeks immediately following the miscarriage was to journal all my thoughts, fears, pain, etc. It was great therapy.

I had 2 miscarriages, one before my first child and one before my second. I can't remember exactly how long I waited to try again, but I believe it was about 3 months.

I should add, I have 3 healthy children now.

This isn't something you probably want to hear right now, but, it was meant to be. I think, if I didn't have my 2 miscarriages, I wouldn't have my Sammy & Bella whom I couldn't imagine life without.

Hang in there - I know it's tough. Try to enjoy your one on one time with your beautiful 19 month old little girl. Once you do have that 2nd child, it will not be that easy : )

I am so suprised by the number of people that I know who have had a miscarriage. It's far more common then I ever would have guessed.

We had a miscarriage in July '01 and it was horrible. But it really solidified the fact that we did want children. We waited a month then started trying. I got pregnant right away. Our little guy was born July '02. I've gone on to have 2 more babies, all healthy.

I've heard that a woman's most furtile time is right after a miscarriage because her body is so ready for a baby. I don't know if that's true or not, but I've known lots of people who got pregnant right after a losing a baby.

Hang in there, it's tough but it really helps to talk about it.

Hi T.. I am so sorry for your loss. I have been where you are right now. I had a miscarriage in July 2005. I was really heartbroken. The thing that made it worse was that I had no children at all. I figured I would never have kids at all. I had a D&C procedure after my miscarriage because I wanted to try right away to have children again. In October 2005 I got pregnant with my son. He is now 13 months old. He is my little angel. I enjoy everyday with him. Miscarriage is actually more common than I thought when it happened to me. The more I talked to others the more I found out it happened to quite a few people I knew. I am not afraid to talk about miscarriage because it happens and is part of life. It is hard to deal with and is not anyone's fault. I felt bad after my miscarriage, I thought maybe I did something wrong. I spoke to a counsler and it made me feel better. My husband was a great supporter to me. He was grieving also after the miscarriage but in a different way. My doctor told me to wait 3 months before trying to get pregnant after my miscarriage. I was pregnant 3 months after the D&C surgery. My son is my miracle baby. Count your blessings you do have and enjoy your little girl. Good Luck.

T.,

So sorry to hear about your loss. After my miscarriage, the thing that surpized me the most is how often this happens. So many people I knew had miscarriages, but never brought it up until I had one. It was reassuring to know that this is a part of bringing children into the world and that I was not at fault in any way.

My husband and I waited two months to try again. Our doctor said wait three, but we REALLY wanted another baby. Sure enough, we got pregnant on the first try. That gave us baby #3. I just had baby #4 in May. I will say that my doctor thought both of these babies started life as twins, but by the 20 week ultrasound there was one healthy baby left. This is also incredibly common. 1 in 8 people walking the earth started in the womb as a twin but only 1 in 45 is born a twin. Some women do have repeatative miscarriages, but it is uncommon. Most of the women have one and go on to have healthy pregnancies after that.

The thing that helped me cope the most was pouring my love and time into my other children. We had the best summer going out, having fun and hoping that next summer we would stay home more with a new baby and that is just what happened.

Best of luck,
S.

T.--
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a baby in between my son (almost three) and my daughter (4 months). It was a really difficult time, and although it was fairly early in the pregnancy (7 weeks), it was devastating. I still think about who that baby would have been. My doctor, a very understanding and sympathetic person, said that since my husband and I were both healthy, and I didn't need to have any procedures in conjunction with the miscarriage, we just needed to wait one cycle, and then we could try again. We got pregnant the following month with my daughter, who is now a very healthy happy girl. For me, the only thing to ease my sorrow was to get pregnant and have another baby. I always only wanted two kids, but now, since I lost one, I sometimes feel a need to have a third. My only advice to you is this--when you do get pregnant, try not to be anxious. I was so incredibly anxious during my third pregnancy due to the miscarriage, I was miserable. Try as much as you can to let the past live in the past, and enjoy your pregnancy as much as it is possible to enjoy it!!! Take care, and good luck!

Hi, T.! I am so sorry for your loss, miscarriages can be very difficult, no matter how far along you were. I have had 5 miscarriages in all, 2 before my first son was born, 2 before my twins were born and one after they were born. Each one was difficult for different reasons, and none that anyone else can understand but myself, which is the same for you. As you can tell, I can have more children, sometimes miscarriages are your body's way of saying that this child had something wrong so that it wouldn't have a good quality of life, which might not make you feel better now, but hopefully it will help you deal with your loss in the future. We waited 2 months after the miscarriage before trying again, and I think (I'm not a doctor, so I would ask your OB/GYN to confirm) that it depends on how far along you were as to how long you should wait. When I miscarried at 6 weeks my doctor said that I could try right away the next month, but my last miscarriage before I got pregnant with the twins I was 12 weeks and they told me to wait 3 months. I don't know if that was helpful at all, but if you want to talk more pelase feel free to email me anytime!

I just want to pass along my sincere sadness for your loss. We have waited over a year since our loss and are now expecting again. We have a pretty hefty gap between but are thankful that god has given us a second chance.

T., I am so sorry for your loss. It is so sad when a baby doesn't make it into the world. I had a miscarriage in 1998, it was hard. I also lost 2 babies both born prematurely, in 1987 and 1998. I do have 3 living children, a 17 yr old, 6 yo and 4 yo. The last 2 were after all the losses, so I am proof it can be done. :-) After the first loss, we waited a year. After the second loss, we tried again right away, then had the miscarriage. After that, we waited almost 3 years. Our time for waiting was not just related to the losses, but trying to get our life to the "right" place for trying again. I do know people who tried again right away. You need to do what is right for you and your family. Losing a baby is a very difficult thing and it is scarey to be pregnant again. I wish you the best of luck, in whatever you decide.
S.

First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss. I have 3 children now (5 years and under), but suffered from infertility for 8 years. We underwent years of fertility treatments, and finally had our oldest 2. I got pregnant with twins the 2nd time around, but lost 1. While I was thankful I didn't lose both, I was still sad I had lost 1. People didn't understand my agony because I was still pregnant after all, and should have been happy after so many years of trying. But a loss is a loss. Even though we've been blessed with 3 beautiful children, we still have 1 less child and no one has the right to deny us that fact. We eventually conceived our 3rd child "naturally" (huge surprise to us), so I can assure you that anything is possible. It is completely normal to have concerns and doubts. My best advice to you is to let yourself experience all the feelings you do without guilt. And, I have known many women who have had miscarriages, some multiple times, only to be blessed with a beautiful baby after such tragedy. Hang in there.

Hi T.,

Am very sorry to hear about your lose. I had a miscarriage about 5 years ago now. It took me three years to get preganant again (but well worth the wait). I have a condition so getting pregnant for me is more difficult than usual. Most women take a few months of recovery and then try again. Take the time to heal emotionaly for yourself and for your family.

I miscarried back in May and we alos have a 19 month old. My husband is afraid to try and have another child, but me on the other hand have had baby fever for about a month now. Our miscarriage was a blessing in disquise (dont like to say it, but its true). You too, will get over the fears and anxiety. A lot of women miscarry and go on to have succesful prenancies later. Just remember and be thankful that you have a daughter aleady, if you only ever have one, maybe it was meant to be :).
Talk to your hubby and express your feelings to him, while it may not be as hard for him, its extrmeley hard for us mothers to go through these times. Mine thankfully was early on (about 8 weeks), so it was easier to get over than say, later in the pregnancy or delivering and than losing a child. Dont keep your feelings bottled up inside, it will only make it worse. If you want to talk further let me know, theres times I wonder if it was a girl or boy, or who this one would have looked like, etc. This one for us wasnt meant to be for some reason and God was with us.
Take care and feel free to contact me if you want to talk.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain first hand of the what if's you may be feeling. We had 2 children and announced our third pregnancy on father's day. A week later I started miscarrying. After I miscarried and had my rogam shot I was told to wait 3 months. Once my bleeding stopped from the miscarriage my husband and I tried and we did get pregnant right away. After a difficult first trimester with bleeding up to the 14th week we finally did have our third. I wouldn't trade our baby girl for the world but I think the pain never goes away and the thoughts of what might of been. But then you also think if what might of been than I would have this new beautiful life. You really appreciate and don't take for granted the kids you do have. Good luck and if you need anyone to talk to send me a line.

T., so sorry for your loss. I had two miscarriages. I got pregnant again right after the first one and had a beautiful little girl. After the second miscarriage, I never did get pregnant, but I am an older mom. Last summer we were blessed with a beautiful little girl through adoption.

I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks last June. Then I got pregnant again in July last year and now I have a beautiful 5 year old daughter. My Dr had told me to wait at least 3 months after the miscarriage to start trying but we were not careful and ended up pregnant again. I am so sorry for you loss. Just know that you are not alone out there. Also you can have other children even after a miscarriage.

T.-
I've had 3 miscarriages in between having 4 beautiful healthy children. My 4th - and last :) child was conceived 2 months after miscarrying twins.

Each situation and family is different. No matter how much time you decide remember to take care of yourself. It's important to let yourself grieve your loss : cry, talk to someone who won't give you trite and sometimes thoughtless answers - someone who can listen, journal, some people find in healing to do something to memorialize the lost child,...
Anyway, I am very sorry for your loss!

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. There is nothing I can say that will make it okay, but know that you're not alone. I had a miscarriage between my two sons. It was very early in the pregnancy, and I was pregnant again within a couple of months. When my husband and I discussed it, we agreed that we were ready again as soon as I knew I could handle it if it happened again. There is absolutely no reason to believe that one miscarriage increases the likelihood of another (with certain rare exceptions, like ectopic pregnancy). But I think once it's happened, you realize it's a real possibility each time. My pregnancy with my second son was harder than my first, since I was a lot more paranoid about losing the pregnancy. But I now have two wonderful, healthy sons and I'm 12 weeks pg with #3. If you need any support I can offer, please feel free to contact me. And there are support groups around too, if you think that would help you.

I'm so sorry for your loss and hope that you can heal soon and not worry too much about what this means for future pregnancies.

We had a healthy full-term baby, then a miscarriage, then another healthy full-term baby. We were much more "guarded" (I think my husband called it "cautiously excited") the third pregnancy because of the m/c, but I was grateful to have had a healthy baby before, since it gave me confidence I'd be able to do it again.

We waited almost exactly 1 year from the time of our miscarriage before getting pregnant again...that was more of our decision than the doctors. And, honestly, I'm thrilled with the age gap of our children now...not what we planned, but definitely great for our family.

Hang in there. It hurts less with time...

I'm so sorry for your loss (((((HUGS)))))
Please rest assured that it's probably not any indication of anything wrong. These things just happen sometimes and now that it has happened you'll be surprised at how common it is. There is a miscarriage message board on ivillage that was very helpful to me when I miscarried. It's all women who are pretty much right where you are and you can read and ask questions. It was very helpful because it helped me to see how common it was and that I wasn't alone.
If I were you I'd wait a few months and then try again. Get a check up at the Dr. to make sure there isn't any infection or anything. I think that's why I lost mine.
Best Wishes,
Mom to 4 wonderful kids!

T., I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage before my first child. We waited 2 months and got pregnant right away with my wonderful 5 year old. I also got pregnant the first time with my very healthy 3 year old.
After my miscarriage I wondered the same thing. Since my miscarriage, I have heard of so many people who have had similar experiences and have gone on to have beautiful healthy children afterwards. You will too.
Hang in there, I know this is a very tough time.

Hi. I just wanted to let you know that I had a miscarriage in June of 2003 and then got pregnant again in October of 2003 and gave birth to a little boy July 2004. Then i had another miscarriage in Sept 2006 and we are now expecting another baby for dec 07/jan 08. If you need someone to talk to please dont hesitate to ask

I had a miscarriage about 6 years ago. I got pregnant with my son 3 months later. Don't give up. I was devastated myself, but not trying we were able to have my son who is now 6.

I had multiple miscarriages trying to concieve my daughter and I kept trying immediately because your body is raring to go and will get pregnant easier usually. I was determined, I didn't wait even a mo., I would try immediately after and that's how I got my little girl. I was also miscarrying very early on which is probaly different then being a few months or longer along. I figure my miscarriages were suppose to happen like there was a genetic problem or something wasn't right. I went on to have a premature baby but now is my awesome healthy 6yr.old little girl, I want more children but if it doesn't happen that's fine I have my one blessing and am grateful to just be a mom.

Sorry to hear about your loss it's hard but it's common to have a miscarriage I'm sure you'll have more children.

I haven;t had a miscarriage myself, but my very best friend has had two. She had one miscarriage that was "natural causes", then she had to deliver her next baby at 22 wks and thebaby only lived two hours. the doctors said that was a "fluke" thing, too. you can imagine how horrible she felt. she felt like she would never be able to have kids. after the first miscarriage, she was pregnant again 3 months later. after giving birth and losing her second baby, she waited 4 months and is now pregnant for the third time. so far so good. she is at 22 wks and 3 days. i think that when you are ready to try again, you do it. as long as there isn't something doctor's have told about your body not being able to handle it. my friends ob toldher to wait-just to let her body recuperate-but she was just ready to try again-so she did. good luck to you. hang in there and know that good things happen to good people and your time will come.

I am so sorry to here of your loss. I completely understand what you are going through. I miscarried with my first pregnancy in Oct. of 2004. We then became pregnant with Tessa in March of 2005. It wasn't just a physical concern but also an emotional one. The guilt I had and worry that it was going to happen again was horrible.
You will know when you are ready emotionally and your Dr. can guide you as to when it will be safe again physically try.
It does get better but it does take time.
Take Care!
Huggs,

I am so sorry. I had a miscarriage in Jan. 2006, I didn't have any idea anything was wrong until we went in for the sono to see the heart beat. I had a D&C because I never started bleeding. Our doctor told us to wait 3 months and we did, then started trying again and got pregnant right away. We now have a 7 month old son, also a 3 yr old daughter. I wouldn't trade my son for the world, but I also can't stop thinking about the baby we lost either, still. The due date was Sept. 13. I don't think we will ever forget that baby, but we could not be happier with the kids we have now, and we appreciate them that much more.

I am sorry for the loss of your child. I miscarried on October 28, 2005. We started trying right away, but for the wrong reasons. i wanted the emotional pain to be gone cause nobody understood the fact that this was a child even though I hadn't held him or her. I got pregnant in December and gave birth to a healthy little boy in August of 06. I think it is okay to try again as long as it isn't too avoid the grieving process. You truely do need to grieve or it will come back to haunt you. It wasn't until I went to the web site miscarriagehelp.com that i realized i needed to grieve in order to mentally be able to move on. One what should have been my miscarried childs first birthday i went to the childrens section of the cemetary read a book, cried and released one balloon. I felt silly at first but i can't even explain the emotional release it had. I feel like i have finally come to terms. I will never forget but at least now i can function again in life. I have some good books at home on Misscarriages and reassurance if you are interested in borrowing them or just want the titles. You can email me at ____@____.com Good luck,