T.C. asks from River Falls, WI on August 21, 2007
Miscarriage - River Falls,WI
I just had a miscarriage this week and it has been a very difficult time. I keep thinking about what if I can't have anymore kids. Just looking for other people who have had a miscarriage and how long they waited until they tried to have another baby. Thanks!
C.J. answers from Minneapolis on August 22, 2007
I had a miscarriage about 6 years ago. I got pregnant with my son 3 months later. Don't give up. I was devastated myself, but not trying we were able to have my son who is now 6.
R.L. answers from Minneapolis on August 21, 2007
Hi. I just wanted to let you know that I had a miscarriage in June of 2003 and then got pregnant again in October of 2003 and gave birth to a little boy July 2004. Then i had another miscarriage in Sept 2006 and we are now expecting another baby for dec 07/jan 08. If you need someone to talk to please dont hesitate to ask
C.O. answers from Minneapolis on August 21, 2007
I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks last June. Then I got pregnant again in July last year and now I have a beautiful 5 year old daughter. My Dr had told me to wait at least 3 months after the miscarriage to start trying but we were not careful and ended up pregnant again. I am so sorry for you loss. Just know that you are not alone out there. Also you can have other children even after a miscarriage.
S.L. answers from Minneapolis on August 21, 2007
I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. I was advised to wait 3-6 months before getting pregnant again. This seemed like an awful long time since we had waited so long to be parents, but looking back my husband and I needed that time to heal both physically and emotionally from the loss. We actually didn't get pregnant again until around 8 months after my miscarriage. You will know when the time is right. I was terrified I would have another miscarriage, but ended up having a normal, full term pregnancy with no complications. We now have a wonderful 21 month old daughter and I am pregnant with our second child. One thing I found helpful in the days and weeks immediately following the miscarriage was to journal all my thoughts, fears, pain, etc. It was great therapy.
E. answers from Minneapolis on August 21, 2007
I had 2 miscarriages, one before my first child and one before my second. I can't remember exactly how long I waited to try again, but I believe it was about 3 months.
I should add, I have 3 healthy children now.
This isn't something you probably want to hear right now, but, it was meant to be. I think, if I didn't have my 2 miscarriages, I wouldn't have my Sammy & Bella whom I couldn't imagine life without.
Hang in there - I know it's tough. Try to enjoy your one on one time with your beautiful 19 month old little girl. Once you do have that 2nd child, it will not be that easy : )
C.A. answers from Minneapolis on August 21, 2007
I am so suprised by the number of people that I know who have had a miscarriage. It's far more common then I ever would have guessed.
We had a miscarriage in July '01 and it was horrible. But it really solidified the fact that we did want children. We waited a month then started trying. I got pregnant right away. Our little guy was born July '02. I've gone on to have 2 more babies, all healthy.
I've heard that a woman's most furtile time is right after a miscarriage because her body is so ready for a baby. I don't know if that's true or not, but I've known lots of people who got pregnant right after a losing a baby.
Hang in there, it's tough but it really helps to talk about it.
T.W. answers from Minneapolis on August 22, 2007
Hi T.. I am so sorry for your loss. I have been where you are right now. I had a miscarriage in July 2005. I was really heartbroken. The thing that made it worse was that I had no children at all. I figured I would never have kids at all. I had a D&C procedure after my miscarriage because I wanted to try right away to have children again. In October 2005 I got pregnant with my son. He is now 13 months old. He is my little angel. I enjoy everyday with him. Miscarriage is actually more common than I thought when it happened to me. The more I talked to others the more I found out it happened to quite a few people I knew. I am not afraid to talk about miscarriage because it happens and is part of life. It is hard to deal with and is not anyone's fault. I felt bad after my miscarriage, I thought maybe I did something wrong. I spoke to a counsler and it made me feel better. My husband was a great supporter to me. He was grieving also after the miscarriage but in a different way. My doctor told me to wait 3 months before trying to get pregnant after my miscarriage. I was pregnant 3 months after the D&C surgery. My son is my miracle baby. Count your blessings you do have and enjoy your little girl. Good Luck.
S.K. answers from Minneapolis on August 22, 2007
So sorry to hear about your loss. After my miscarriage, the thing that surpized me the most is how often this happens. So many people I knew had miscarriages, but never brought it up until I had one. It was reassuring to know that this is a part of bringing children into the world and that I was not at fault in any way.
My husband and I waited two months to try again. Our doctor said wait three, but we REALLY wanted another baby. Sure enough, we got pregnant on the first try. That gave us baby #3. I just had baby #4 in May. I will say that my doctor thought both of these babies started life as twins, but by the 20 week ultrasound there was one healthy baby left. This is also incredibly common. 1 in 8 people walking the earth started in the womb as a twin but only 1 in 45 is born a twin. Some women do have repeatative miscarriages, but it is uncommon. Most of the women have one and go on to have healthy pregnancies after that.
The thing that helped me cope the most was pouring my love and time into my other children. We had the best summer going out, having fun and hoping that next summer we would stay home more with a new baby and that is just what happened.
Best of luck,
C. answers from Minneapolis on August 22, 2007
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a baby in between my son (almost three) and my daughter (4 months). It was a really difficult time, and although it was fairly early in the pregnancy (7 weeks), it was devastating. I still think about who that baby would have been. My doctor, a very understanding and sympathetic person, said that since my husband and I were both healthy, and I didn't need to have any procedures in conjunction with the miscarriage, we just needed to wait one cycle, and then we could try again. We got pregnant the following month with my daughter, who is now a very healthy happy girl. For me, the only thing to ease my sorrow was to get pregnant and have another baby. I always only wanted two kids, but now, since I lost one, I sometimes feel a need to have a third. My only advice to you is this--when you do get pregnant, try not to be anxious. I was so incredibly anxious during my third pregnancy due to the miscarriage, I was miserable. Try as much as you can to let the past live in the past, and enjoy your pregnancy as much as it is possible to enjoy it!!! Take care, and good luck!
L.G. answers from Minneapolis on August 22, 2007
Hi, T.! I am so sorry for your loss, miscarriages can be very difficult, no matter how far along you were. I have had 5 miscarriages in all, 2 before my first son was born, 2 before my twins were born and one after they were born. Each one was difficult for different reasons, and none that anyone else can understand but myself, which is the same for you. As you can tell, I can have more children, sometimes miscarriages are your body's way of saying that this child had something wrong so that it wouldn't have a good quality of life, which might not make you feel better now, but hopefully it will help you deal with your loss in the future. We waited 2 months after the miscarriage before trying again, and I think (I'm not a doctor, so I would ask your OB/GYN to confirm) that it depends on how far along you were as to how long you should wait. When I miscarried at 6 weeks my doctor said that I could try right away the next month, but my last miscarriage before I got pregnant with the twins I was 12 weeks and they told me to wait 3 months. I don't know if that was helpful at all, but if you want to talk more pelase feel free to email me anytime!
B.L. answers from Minneapolis on August 21, 2007
I just want to pass along my sincere sadness for your loss. We have waited over a year since our loss and are now expecting again. We have a pretty hefty gap between but are thankful that god has given us a second chance.