Minor rant:Forgot the End-of-school-year Gift to the Teacher. What Do I Do Now?

Teachers usually have to work a few days after the students' last day. Drop off the card. She may not know how to use an online gift card.

Yes, teachers DO make a big deal about material gifts. They say in fake exasperation how many trips they have to take to the car to drop off the gifts. It is a silent contest and they whisper which teacher got only a few or no gifts--and why. Administrators also note how many gifts a teacher gets as a sign of likability. A note does not suffice.

The amount of the card is usually $20.

She's still at school. Probably putting stuff up and cleaning. Go by tomorrow and drop it off.

I've never given the teacher an end of the year gift. I can't afford it.

As a former teacher, I can tell you that the teacher isn't going to be all butt-hurt that you didn't give her an end of the year gift.

Everyone does not give a gift and all the teachers I know do not keep up with tit for tat on what child gave him/her what gift and how much $.

The handwritten card your child gave the teacher will be appreciated because it is heartfelt and not commercial.

As far as the amount on a gift card, use your discretion but if you go too high, you will put the teacher in an uncomfortable position. Some school districts have limits on monetary gifts to staff.

Do worry about the small stuff!!

If today was the last day, just put it together and drop it off at the school tomorrow. The teachers are required to be there for a day or two after the students are done, so she will be there. Just drop it off at the office, and they will make sure she gets it.

ETA - You asked what is typical to give or what we give. I have no idea what's typical. I have a special needs son (Aspergers), and I am so grateful for all of his teachers. So I really want to give them something. I do a $10 giftcard for each teacher. For my older son that's just a classroom teacher. For my younger son it's more, but I recognize how important they are in his life.

Thank you note note was perfect. She knows then that your child took time to write.

My guess is that she will be there tomorrow, cleaning out. Call the office to confirm.

Otherwise, let it go. Frankly, lots of parents cannot afford to do that, and teachers understand. And the greatest thing she got, I assure you, was a handwritten thank you note from the child!!

We always did a group collection - coordinated by the room parents, in fact - so the teacher didn't get overwhelmed with 25 small trinkets or buckets of cookies. As a former teacher, I can tell you that it's impossible to display, store, use or even re-gift that many well-meaning but endless dust collectors!

Don't beat yourself up about it!

Instead, learn from it. How many other parents might be in the same boat? They are frazzled, they are unemployed or working 2 jobs, they have several kids who have several teachers each plus a gymnastics teacher and a baseball coach, have been to 3 recitals and 2 assemblies, have volunteered for Field Day, have a disabled child or sick parent/spouse, and...well, you get the idea! What if, next year at Christmas and year-end, you (as the room parent) sent an email or notice to the parents saying you are suggesting a group collection of ANY AMOUNT? Say you are open to suggestions about what to get the teacher once the money is in. That way, people give what they can - some $25, some $5, some $1. The card says "from the class" - no names listed! It's okay - you never know who is going to the food pantry every week or not able to make their rent or buy prescriptions, so there can be no shame/guilt attached. (There are several ways for people to give you the money without everyone else, or even you, knowing who gave what. So it's truly anonymous and a free-will contribution.) Parents will LOVE getting a meaningful gift and having someone else do the shopping. Teachers will enjoy getting something big they couldn't afford on their own, whether it's a gift card or a really nice dinner out (vs. a $20 gift card they had to add their own money to so they can go out with their husband or a friend). You can ask for a volunteer or 2 to help you collect, and someone to help with shopping. Set a deadline, and if anyone gets to you after that, the money goes into the end-of-year gift. No harm, no foul.

I'm a teacher. Seriously, we don't notice things like that. Forget the gift. The teacher has not given it a single thought - I promise. Chill and enjoy your summer.

Is this really a big deal? I have my kids hand-make thank you notes for their teachers, but have never bought a gift. For one teacher who was really outstanding, I wrote a professional letter specifically saying how she helped my child. I wrote it in a way that she could put it in her teaching portfolio, for when she was either applying for a new job or for tenure in the future. But I have not purchased a gift for a teacher since my kids started elem.

Not every kid gives a gift - and that's ok.
Life gets busy sometimes.
Forgive yourself and move on.

I totally get how you could forget and I don't think you need to beat yourself up over it, BUT I would write a very very professional, note to the administration and say how thrilled you were with this teacher and how they exceeded your expectations this school year. something that would look very good in a resume. I would send one to the administration and at the beginning of next year you could send the teacher a copy.

you could also look her up and see if her address is public information and send a nice gift card to her house and explain that you missed the opportunity before school was out but wanted her to know how much you valued her love and kindness. some do not have a listing in the whitepages but I am always surprised how often people do.

As a teacher, there's nothing I love more than a handwritten note. All of the teachers I know feel the same. New Granny G., I don't know if you're a teacher or where you're getting your information from but I'm pretty confident the majority of teachers would completely disagree with you. A "silent contest"? Are you kidding me?? Freakin ridiculous.

If it were me, I'd let it go. I honestly don't think they give this as much thought as parents think. My mom was a kindergarten teacher for many years and by the time she made it home that last day, she probably couldn't have told you who gave what. I think the note was a lovely gesture that she will have appreciated.

I've never given an end of the year gift.

There are typically at least 2 post-planning days that the teachers are at school after the kids are dismissed for the summer. You have time if you want to drop something off. If you don't have the time, no stress.. your child wrote a thank you note to her (him?). Sometimes those are the best gifts. If you just want to, and have the time, gift cards are good. Just don't deliver a "best teacher ever" mug or candles or other trinkets that the teacher probably already has dozens of from years past. If that is the plan, then I'd reconsider and let your child's letter stand on its own.

As a teacher, I can say she probably isn't expecting anything. I'm a specialist teacher so I never expect anything. I got a three adorable thank you cards that some of my kindergarten students made for me and that was the absolute best!

As a parent, the last week of school we took in a fruit tray for the teachers' lounge. I did something for classroom teachers at Christmas and for teacher appreciation week. At the end of the year I wanted to also thank all of the teachers that worked with my kids. Between all the specialist teachers (art, music, PE, media, gifted and talented) and the other teachers that they see (even at 1st grade their teachers compartmentalize for science, health, and social studies) and the paras that work in their rooms, I was looking at 15-20 people. It just made sense to do something that the entire staff could enjoy. Don't stress about not giving her anything.

As far as gift card amount, in our state there is a law that says because teachers are public servants we cannot accept gifts that are valued at more than $25.

Our school really doesn't have a tradition of end-of-year gifts. I'm not saying that it isn't a nice gesture, but I don't think it's expected. We usually do the holiday gift and teacher appreciation day. If you've already done those, I don't think this is a requirement.

I never gave a gift, but I always wrote a letter about how good they were as educators -- with examples -- and sent a copy to them and to the principal. That way they had one in their personnel file. I figured that come review time, that might give them a few more pennies in their salary.

I have never given an end of the year gift to be honest. I think it is a nice idea, but not something that should ever be expected. I wouldn't worry about it, but the online gift card is a great idea if you will feel badly about not giving anything.

I can't believe you guys are just getting out! It is strange how different the school year is for different parts of the country, out last day was May 19th. I know that was not related to your question but I just thought it was crazy!

I totally understand. This end of the year was especially crazy (I wanted to drop off some extra things for teachers & didn't get to it. For those, I will do a welcome back to school basket beginning of next school year which is in a few months.). I would drive by the school with a small gift certificate & drop it off as most teachers work a few days after school. Just make sure she's there before you leave it.

End of year gifts are never mandatory. This is a stress you have chosen to put on yourself, probably because you're a thoughtful person. Remember to also be kind to yourself!

Take a deep breath, hold it for a moment while you picture this irritation, then blow it away from you as you exhale. I hope you have an enjoyable summer break. :-)

I give a $5 gift card for a coffee shop. I know our teachers have 3 admin days after the last day of school, so dropping it off tomorrow should be good, but it is also fine not to give at all.