I'm wondering if anyone knows the laws on who gets custody when the baby is first born if the parents aren't married? I'm worried my ex might try to take the baby and not give him back. I need to know the laws for Minnesota. And everything I look up comes out to the same thing. Telling my that I get custody unless he proves paternity. I had a friend who went through the same thing, her ex took her son and because there was no custody ruling the cops wouldn't help her get him back.
Then he would be kidnapping and you would call the police.
In PA, unmarried fathers have a right to a visitation schedule and the right to pay support. These two issues are not related.
Google "Minnesota Child Custody Laws" and you might find some state specific info there.
When you say ex, do you mean the husband to whom you are still legally married or the baby's father? The baby's father will have no claim to the child until paternity is adjudicated. Your estranged husband will legally be assumed as the child's father at birth and would have all of the rights of any other parent until you have him legally declared not the father. If I were you, I would get everything you need in advance of the birth to have the baby's biological father recognized as the father and your husband off the hook as far as this baby is concerned. Each state's process is different but I think that this can be done in most states. In my state, the parents of the children I carried as a surrogate were able to get a pre-birth court order declaring them the babies' parents from the moment of their birth so stranger things have happened.
If you're worried, talk to a lawyer. Many lawyers will give you a free hour of consultation for free.
My idiot brother and his equally dumb ex are pulling all sorts of stupid stuff with their baby, because they have no custody agreement and can get away with it. Like, he wouldnt bring the baby back when he said he would because she was sleeping in and didnt answer her phone. So she had the cops come over, and they wouldnt do anything because he wasnt hurting the baby, had a clean house and plenty of baby food and diapers. So what happened the next time he went to pick up the baby? She wasnt there. Dont be stupid. Get a custody agreement if you're worried he might take the baby. (there situation is in KS though, not Minnesota, so I'm not sure how the laws will differ)
I doubt that whether or not you're married has anything to do with custody. Custody is given to the parent with whom the child's best interests are met. In other words, whoever is best for the baby.
If the father claims paternity and the mother doesn't challenge it. i.e. she agrees he's the father then both have a right to have custody. The reason the police couldn't help your friend is that his father has equal rights to custody until there is a court order. Because he has equal rights this situation was not a kidnapping.
If you're concerned that his father will take and keep your baby I suggest that you file in domestic court for sole custody with visitation/parenting time for the father. He can respond with his own request for sole custody or shared custody. The judge orders a custody study conducted by a court social worker and then decides who will have custody and how the visitation will work.
It's usual that whoever has the baby at the time of filing to be awarded custody tho extenuating circumstances can change that. I suggest that may be why your friend's ex took their son. She should immediately file for custody before the father has had much time with the son.
If you think the father will contest your petition for custody, I suggest that you get an attorney who can help you present a case in favor of you.
You have extenuating circumstances. Your husband is the legal father in most if not all states.
I looked at your profile. Your case is more complicated. Even if you're not living together but are still married, your husband is automatically the legal father of your baby. You don't have to acknowledge that there is a different father.
I can't tell if you want to give your baby the birth father's last name or not. Legally, ou don't have to even list a father. I suggest that the birth father has no legal rights even if you put him on the birth certificate. He may be able to gain some rights by going to court. You really need to talk with a lawyer.
You can usually talk with an attorney for the first time without having to pay. It's called a get acquainted visit to see if the two of you can work together, if you have a case, if you can pay the fees, etc. Or you can go to Legal Aid. I urge you to get professional advice!
You must be feeling anxious and a call to an attorney will answer your questions and relieve your mind.
Has your ex threatened to take your baby when he's born? He can't just take the baby out of your arms and not return him. Courts typically don't look kindly on one parent preventing the other from seeing the child when there's no court order in place for such action and without just cause. If he took the baby such as you're describing it would be kidnapping.
You could do one of a couple of things depending on how you think he'll react. If he's amicable, you could set up child support and visitation now through lawyers. Get everything settled legally before the baby arrives so that the main residence is established and so is everything else.
Or you could wait to add him to the birth certificate. Ask for child support and arranging visitation once the baby is born but before the birth certificate has him listed as the father. Then his lawyer will have to petition the court for a paternity test, which will establish that he's legally the father in court and at that time custody/visitation and child support can be set up.
EDIT: I really need to consistently read past threads for history more often. If this is not your husband's baby, but another man's, the baby will be assumed to legally be your husband's baby especially if he's born before the divorce is final. In any case, I probably wouldn't put either man on the birth certificate. Get a lawyer, file for custody against BOTH men, and the court will order paternity testing. Once paternity is established in court, then you let the court figure out what happens in regard to custody and child support.
Then Google them.
There is endless information on this wonderful world wide web of ours!
A mother in Minnesota who was not married at the time of her child's birth has sole custody until a Court issues a custody order.
http://www.mncourts.gov/selfhelp/?page=343
However, this said, would it stand up in court? He could file for Emergency Custody before you have anything legally established so do not allow your child's father to take the child into his physical custody until and unless a custody judgement has been issued by a judge.
I have been in your shoes and situation, but made the mistake of allowing my son to go. Police and courts would or could do nothing. And I got him back 10 years and 9 months later.
not sure about MN laws, BUT...i was (am) an unwed mother. my ex was being stupid & unreasonable re: visitation schedule & not paying child support so i filed for custody. unless the other parent SUCKS royally most judges grant 50/50 nowadays, which is actually good for the kid, like i said only if the other doesn't completely suck (mine does, he only has visitation rights, no other rights). and you're right, the cops won't do anything w/o a court order or something bad happening and really they shouldn't y'know?
the first thing people should do when they break up or divorce if they have a kid is to get a custody arrangement set up, not just verbally agreed on, but through the courts. people act stupid when they break up. i had the EXACT same fears as you, sometimes still do, that my ex will take my sweet boy & i'll never see him again.
but anyway, file for custody as soon as you can & get this custody thing started & finished. took me forever but i have a stupid, sorry, crazy ex who wasn't agreeable to anything just to spite me. so good luck. hope that helps mama. :)
