MIL Constantly Commenting on DS Size

My daughter is 18 months old, and still not in a front facing carseat. At her last appointment, she was still only 19.35 lbs. My mother-in-law also loves to make snide comments about everything. Everytime I see her she tells me "you need to start working again so you can actually feed your children". (They're all very tall and very skinny).

I tried the polite route and finally said forget it. Either she isn't getting it, or she doesn't care. I told her flat out that what she's saying is hurtful and it needs to stop. It hasn't. So my husband told her, and she doesn't say things in front of him, only to me. He told her if she doesn't knock it off, we're not coming to visit anymore. I know it sounds horribly petty, but think about it. If I leave her house furious and in tears everytime we visit, that's not a healthy relationship. Also, my children hear what she says and it hurts them, too. You and your hubby (both) need to sit down and tell her to knock it off because it's hurting your family. I've learned that coming just from you won't work, she has to hear it from him, too.

my MIL does it too. my son is in the 70% for height and she keeps asking me if I think he will stay short. I am short of freaking out on her. He isn't short - he is normal just not taller than 100% of the kids. Why do they have to do this? I have no answer except I try what you do... tell her he isn't short, hopefully it gets through the thickness.
Good luck

I used to get that from my mil but it has subsided a little. My 2 1/2 year old is only 23lbs (soaking wet). He is very slow to gain weight and she just doesn't get it. He is incredibly healthy and the doctor has never been concerned about his height or weight (he's also only 32" tall) because he IS growing, just not fast. I would either tell her how much it bothers you or tell your dh to tell her how upsetting it is. Lucky for me my il's live 6 hours away so I don't have to deal with it regularly, otherwise I would have asked her to stop long ago.

My son IS small, (7% weight and 15% height). He is 18 months and wearing 12 month clothes. I guess I'd just tell her straight out that it bothers you. Sounds like your son is doing fine. My pediatrician has never commented on my son's size, I am always the one bringing it up and she assures me that he is fine (he weighs 22 lb's).

She obviously isn't getting it when you beat around the bush. Just tell her to stop because it bothers you.

J.

My 22 month old son is also small--23.5 pounds. He can still wear 12 month pants. I just tell people he is a little ball of energy and burns it all off. They usually quiet down once they see how much he eats at every meal.

You could respond with "Well, if that's the most we have to complain about we really shouldn't complain."

Hi Nicole! My little girl has always been on the low end of the size spectrum and people, including family, have made comments. She is luckily - incredible health and happy and one of the best three year old eaters I've seen! I contantly had to hear from my side of the family about "how big" the other grandchildren were and that my daughter was so small. I'd comment by saying that she was a great eater and and that she was long and lean. People, I think, equate a healthy baby with a baby being chubby. My daughter has always been a good eater and perfers protiens and vegatables to carbs of any kind. She eats much more the way we all should. If your MIL isn't taking your hints, I'd be blunt with her and ask her why she thinks he's small, who's she comparing him too? I'd make her be accountable for what she's saying and why. Ask her what she thinks his height and weight should be - that's the easiest way for you to counter her thoughts. Then, I'd tell her you appreciate her concern and you are more than happy to have her call his peditrician or partake in his next dr's appt to review his growth chart as he's perfectly fine and growing as scheduled. Good Luck - I know this can be very frusturating, but you and your son won't want to continue to hear these comments as he gets older and older!

My MIL constantly makes rude comments to me...usually very socially inappropriate and degrading. Just as an example, the other day she asked me (because I'm pregnant) if my "Dr. expressed his concern about how big I'm getting and that he should recommend delivering the baby early because I don't want a big fat ugly baby." I couldn't belive she said that...and I didn't even know how to respond after disagreeing with her on sooo many levels. I had a quick laughing conversation because what she was saying was sooo obserd that I couldn't possibly take her seriously and I blew off her comments as a comment from the "Crazy MIL" that she is. So, try your hardest to blwo it off if you can because she doesn't know S_ _ _ from Shinolah!

I think she's just being mean. I have so many friends who complain about having similar experiences with their MIL. I think they know they're being annoying, and they do it with gusto. My own MIL never picked on me about my kids' sizes (which is really surprising because all of their cousins are huge yet my kids are really skinny) but she'd always have something to say about their clothes, and what type of toys and "activities" I was or wasn't exposing them to. My kids were big time droolers when their teeth were coming in. Sometimes their shirts would be soaked through as though they spilled a cup of water on themselves, so I made them wear bibs all the time to keep their clothes dry. She'd always tear the bibs off and say that it was tacky to leave them in them all day.

Or she'd even say "Your kids are not being stimulated enough. Don't you ever buy them toys?" We had tons of stuff. But I'm a neat-nick, so unlike my SIL's, I kept all of my kids stuff in toy boxes, on shelves or in their closets. She knew we had tons of stuff. Heck she bought alot of it. But she'd still try to be nasty.

I'm certain if I left toys all over the house, and my kids were big bruisers she'd have something to say about that too!

I say, don't worry about her and her comments. It's probably just a power-trip on her part. She knows it bugs you, so she'll continue happily until it's not fun anymore, or she finds something else to get your goat. :(

I would just ignore her. If she can't get a reaction out of you it isn't any fun any more and it'll stop. You know your son is health so don't let it bother you, just change the subject everytime she brings it up.

I would feel inclined to say really, you can tell...we stopped feeding him because otherwise we cannot afford gas...

but then again I think consistent comments like that need some sort of shock reply factor...

I remember my sons head was in the 10th percentile and his body was in the 90th percentile...almost like beetlejuice....

there really isn't anything you can do to stop her, just go over there expecting to hear it, then when she does say it tell her it only took her 20 minutes to say it this time...

my mil consistently compares my boys to her two boys...I have two she had two, and wouldn't you know my boys do the exact same things hers did ... this is what I hear at least once a visit....