Mental and Physical Recovery Time?

Updated on July 02, 2009
C.B. asks from Oskaloosa, KS
9 answers

ok i'll try to make this short and sweet - my son (2 years 9 months) last week had hand, foot, and mouth disease. well his luck, it was ALL in his mouth. he had upwards of twenty open sores in his mouth and throat. he didn't eat or drink for three or four days, and then only liquids for another three or four - it was a full week before he ate anything. the dr. prescribed him an antibiotic to combat secondary infections, but the HF&M is a virus and cannot be helped by antibiotics, so all they could do to help him was give him painkillers. -extremely strong ones, hydrocodone (lortabs) in fact. then he had problems because his stomach was empty and we kept putting these incredibly powerful drugs into him and his stomach was in revolt - he was miserable and had fits of rage that lasted HOURS - literally...HOURS. it was a nightmare. anyway...my point is now he has been eating for three days, and is acting almost like his old self, except for a couple things. i know this was traumatic for him, and i know that his throat is probably still sore (it just got bearable to eat three days ago so i'm sure it's not 100% yet). but his behavior has become VERY bratty, very self-centered (i know this is a normal almost-three-year-old thing, but it is way over the line!) and worst of all his sleep routine is AWFUL. this is the kid that was always in bed by 8, never fought me about it, would smile sweetly and tell us he loved us and goodnight, roll over, and go to sleep, quietly, in his OWN bed...

well lately he has refused to fall asleep in his own bed...then he refused to sleep in my bed unless i was in it with him...leading to more hours of screaming which led to more pain in the throat, and more screaming...etc etc etc...it has been a horrible cycle. resulting in him (and me) not getting to sleep till after midnight, and up again at 5 or 6. this has started to become the "norm" for us.

tonight, i had a new plan, as soon as i picked him up from the sitter's (who he's been fine for, a little argumentive but taking normal naps) we went to get gas, then went to walmart, had a fun dinner at mcdonald's, and then walked the mall, getting a sucker at the candy store. YES i bribed him. i told him the entire time that as long a he was good he would get whatever next fun thing i had planned. then about halfway through i started ticking off all the things we had left to do. "okay, after we eat our mcdonald's we're going to the mall, then going home to take a shower, then going to bed, right?" i must have repeated the list a dozen times.

it seemed to work, because he followed my agenda without one complaint....

and he's sleeping!! in mine and my husband's bed, still...but he's sleeping. and it's only 8:00. we really had a great night. no, i'm not going to keep doing this every night (tomorrow i do plan on taking him swimming or to the park though...something to keep him active and busy!) but here's my question - how long can i expect before he is back to normal? i know i have a long road of re-teaching him his manners and that the world doesn't revolve around him (because it did for an entire week), and i know it will be work...can i look forward to his physical recovery bringing back some of his old sweetness? can i hope that when he truly starts to feel 100% again, he will revert back to what he knows is the right way to act? or am i really going to have to fight him tooth and nail to re-teach him that I'M in charge? i just need a little hope, a little light at the end of the tunnel! please tell me it won't be as hard, starting entirely from scratch, like it seems like it's going to be...hope this makes sense. thanks in advance!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

so a minor update - not sure how his "behavior" will be on a normal night when i'm not bribing him every second, BUT he slept all night last night! we "discussed" over and over how he was going to go to bed and sleep like a good boy and not fight mommy, well i had to put him in my bed to fall asleep, and he fussed a bit wanting me in the bed with him, but he knocked out around 8:00 and didn't make another peep! i put him in his bed awhile later and he slept the entire night quiet as can be...thank goodness!!! a good night's sleep has a way of making you feel you can tackle anything lol...
************
real update - so it's been a couple days and you know what i feel a lot more hopeful. i am having to ride him a bit harder about many things but he IS returning to his own sweet nature, so i don't feel as hopeless as i did. thank goodness that he's a naturally "nice" kid. he really just wants everyone to get along. i was just REALLY worried that it would be a constant struggle (with no end in sight) with a rebellious little stranger. this whole mess didn't change his personality permanently. i guess that was my fear. we're slowly returning to normal - he is still falling asleep in my bed but sleeps well and all night, in his own, after i put him there after he's asleep. thank goodness! also thank you for the baby gate idea, i might steal that one this weekend - we will be cracking down on the "sleeping in YOUR bed" thing. our last remaining hurdle...wish us luck! thanks again!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.H.

answers from St. Louis on

Boy, hand foot and mouth disease is no laughing matter, thats for sure! My son had it and had sores in his mouth and a few on his feet. Awful, just awful.
My son is 3 years and 4 1/2 months old and he seems to suddenly be a total ball of energy! And defiant.... woo-wee! I think he honestly has SO much energy he doesn't know what to do with it. So, I have been trying ot keep him busy in the afternoon. He likes to watch movies but I won't let him sit and watch a movie in the afternoon, I make sure he's doing some sort of activity out of doors or in the house. I also have an 11 month old so he's often napping for a long period of time in the afternoon or I'd be taking my 3 yr old out for walks, etc. just so he can use up some of his energy. He also seems to have a really hard time getting into bed when its still light outside at 8:00 p.m. I've started letting him take a toy to bed with him and he seems okay playing with it until he falls asleep, but the rule is that he has to stay in bed unless he has to use the restroom. As for naps, he has decided he doesn't to take them anymore, and I've given up battling him on it. There are still maybe 1 or 2 days a week he'll ask to take one, but those days seem far and few between and rarely result in an actual nap, mostly play time in his room while he thinks that I think he's sleeping, ha! Anyway, good luck! YOur son will get into a groove again and things will be peaceful again at bedtime. I believe this for you. :o)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.R.

answers from Kansas City on

Aw, I feel for all of you! I'm glad you found something that has started to work. My suggestion (as a momma who doesn't have a problem with bribing her also almost-3-year old son) would be to gradually lessen his prizes/bribes, so that he doesn't come to depend on them completely to get to bed. My son is at the point where I can bribe him with stickers (for the most part)...they're harmless and he loves them. Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi Carrie!

You are doing absolutely that right thing. The reinforcement of upcoming daily activities is perfect. That gives your little one something to focus on. As I know you are probably aware, though, do not change what you have said you have planned if at all possible. What I mean is, if you say after dinner, we are going to take a shower, don't sway from that--even if your little asks to. What he is doing is testing his limits, and you have to show him that you are sticking to the plans. That way, he can feel safe in knowing that he has stability.

As far as him sleeping with you while he was sick, I also agree. I have never been one to allow my children in my bed. My husband and I believe that our bed is our place, as is theirs'. BUT, when they are sick, especially being as little as he is, all that goes out the window. You do what makes him and you feel comfortable. He's still just a baby, and he probably needed that level of comfort. My girls are 6 and 7 and still want to be rocked when they don't feel well. Once he is completely over his illness, meaning all of the sores are gone, and he is 100% your little boy again, then have him go back to his bed. He may fuss the first night and even try to come into your bed. Stay strong, though, because again, he is testing his limits. If he was not allowed to sleep in your bed prior to the illness, he should not be allowed now. It's that whole stability thing again.

Regarding the crazy behavior, chances are it was the medication. Lortab is a narcotic, and as you found out, a very strong one. Different people have different reactions to narcs, and you only know what that reaction will be when you first try it. The kicker is, the next time, he may be perfectly fine, or he may actually be worse! My father was the nicest man in the world, but when took any type of narcotic, it was if he was possessed by Satan himself. He would even look mean! Being an RN, I have had the chance to work with kids in the Recovery Room, and I always knew when they received narcs because they ALWAYS woke up madder than a wet hen, fighting, crying, screaming, etc. Those that did not receive narcs would be so different. With that said, kids respond very well to both Tylenol and Motrin. Sometimes I think adults believe if they are hurting really really badly, they need a medication that makes them feel loopy in order to control their pain. Kids don't have that problem. They have never felt that way, so all they know is if the pain is gone, they are good to go. If you think your little guy is still hurting, I would ask his doc what a good dosage of either one of those meds would be based on his weight and try them before going to the Lortab. Be careful though, because Lortab has Tylenol in it. You don't want to give him Tylenol and then Lortab on top of it. If you want to try the non-narcotic, ask your doc about Motrin. Chances are, he will say that's fine.

Good luck to you and keep up the excellent work!

God bless!

J.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.H.

answers from Kansas City on

you just never know how an almost 3 year old will act or change. His changes could be coincidence that they happened during the time he was sick but being off his normal routine will also make them act different. 3 year olds do act a lot different than 2's. They are usually more mouthy and see how far they can push you. I don't know where the term terrible 2's came from because in my experience with working with 2 and 3 year olds, most of them aren't that wild at 2 but wow watch out for the 3's--even the calm kids will act out and you wonder where did that attitude come from. Constant reminders help them focus on what is important. They learn so much and take so much information in that sometimes they forget the simple rules that you have or get too involved in what they are doing in that moment and may not listen to anything else around them. Look him straight in the eyes and get down to his level to talk to him. He will listen better and probably do what is expected when he feels you are talking to him and not towering over him talking at him. I don't have a lot of suggestions on how to get him to sleep like he was before but you do need to set some rules and stick with them as consistency is what kids need. If you want him to sleep in his bed then you keep putting him there. Put up a baby gate at his door and leave the door open so you can see what he is doing. If he tends to climb, raise the gate up higher but enough where he can't crawl under it. He may not be requiring as much sleep as he was. As they get older their naps get shorter and may not sleep as long at night either. My boys both quit taking naps by age 2. Oldest was 18 mths and youngest was right after he turned 2. My daughter took naps until she was 4. The boys would sleep at least 12 hours at night and didn't require daytime naps. She would sleep 9-10 hours at night and needed a 2 hour nap during the day so every child is different.

1 mom found this helpful

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Carrie-

First of all, I am sorry you, your son and family had to go through this!! YAH on it being 'mostly' gone!! I have never had to deal with this with my daughter but it sounds very nasty!! I am sure the behavior had to do with his pain and confusion as under 3 is still very young and he probably couldn't comprehend what was going on and couldn't rightly explain it. Then he was probably hungry/thirsty but couldn't satiate that!!

As far as how long you can expect for him to be like this, I do not think that there is an answer. In addition to life-altering changes (which I think this may have been one such as a birth of a new child, a move to a new house, etc), he has had to completely change his lifestyle while dealing with the pain of the sores!!

I think what you are doing is perfect. You should give into him as he needs it and it seems to be working. Who cares if he has to sleep with you for a few weeks or months? It seems that he needs that extra care and nurturing right now because he wants to be close to you guys. I would continue to maybe try new/fun things with him to keep his mind off of what he had to deal with. Be patient and know that this too shall pass!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I like how you told him over and over what was going to happen next - I do that a lot with my girls and seems to make a big difference. Even with something as simple as leaving a place or store if I talk up what's next and what I expect from them it goes much smoother. It seems 3 yr olds are very dependent on structure and routine and when we get out of our routine due to vacation or illness it can take a good week to get back to normal. Just keep at it and when he gets a few full night's sleep in him his behavior will start to change.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.B.

answers from St. Joseph on

I would recommend MORE positive reinforcement and less bribery. The keeping him busy is a great thing...maybe it's time to sign him up for swimming lessons or gymnastics...the more you keep him active the more tired he will be at night.

Definitly you are going to have a curve here in reteaching him...and you will probably have it forever flare up...it's the nature of kids to keep testing us. Just keep setting the limits. I'm a firm believer in 1-2-3 Magic, Common Sense Parenting, and Love and Logic...if you haven't taken any courses in any of these, they are well worth the time spent. I don't adhere to one theory completely but instead combine them to compliment our family. Most places that offer these courses will offer free daycare while you're in class.

1-2-3 Magic is the premise that when they do something wrong you count them...All you say is "That's 1" wait 10 seconds if it continues then, "That's 2" if it stops great if not then "That's 3, take X minutes time out" (for your guy I'd say 2-3 minutes) Once the sentence is served the offense is over and done with...don't talk about it, don't belittle or go over it again...leave it alone... They learn that every action has an equal and opposite reaction quickly. With the love and logic I put decisions in my children's hands "you can continue your computer game until bedtime but there will be no snuggle and read time...or you can continue your computer game for 1/2 hour then have read and snuggle time before bed. You're choice." But once they make their decision they live with it (even if they decide that's not the one they meant...and you live with it too...the next night, chance's are they will choose differently).

You all have gone through a pretty traumatic period. I think there will be an adjustment time where he is going to be pushing all your buttons and you just need to keep riding him...eventually it'll get better. Just let him know that you sure miss that sweet boy and hope he comes back...;) Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from Topeka on

I am so relieved for you that it looks like the worst of this illness is behind you...and now you can start the steps towards getting things back to "normal". As soon as you are sure that he is 100% physically...you can start being a bit tougher on him about getting back to "normal" emotionally and discipline-wise.
2 yrs 9 months is a bit early to be able to really "reason" with him...but you can show him, through your actions and reactions to things...what is acceptable and what is not. You are simply going to have to "train" him all over again. Be patient, be consistent, be loving and it will all fall back into place again. It may take a couple of sleepless nights, or unpleasant days but you will have your little boy back again soon!!!
R. Ann

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.S.

answers from St. Louis on

My son had his tonsils out, while he was 5 it was pretty much the same situation. If you look at the warnings/side effects on the pain meds, it says (at least mine did) stop use and talk to your doctor if changes in behavior occur. Well my son started acting like a crazy man, yelling and throwing things, hitting and kicking. It turned out it was the medicine and once he was off it for awhile everything went back to normal...hope this gives you hope.
The only lasting downside, he was upset he couldn't growl as loud..due to lack of tonsils..lol.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches