Meltdown Before School...

Updated on September 10, 2011
T.M. asks from Tampa, FL
13 answers

My son just started kindergarten 3 weeks ago. Needless to say, this is a big adjustment for him. He has to work harder and he doesn't get any nap to speak of... He has been coming home exhausted. I have tried to move up bedtimes to give him a bit more rest. He got dressed this morning and put his shoes on the wrong feet. When I pointed it out and asked him to switch it around, he completely melted down. He started saying that he didn't want to go to school...he wanted to stay home with me and his sister. This is compounded by the fact that my daughter's babysitter is on vacation this week, so my DH and I have split up the week staying home with her. It took me a while to get him calmed down. I explained that it was the law that he had to go to school and that school WAS his job....just like Mommy and Daddy both had jobs. I think that he is just really tired with it being the end of the week. Has anyone else had morning meltdowns before school? When I dropped him off this morning, he was fine and looking forward to school....

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So What Happened?

Thanks folks. I don't think that it is the timing. I get him up at least 45 minutes before we actually have to leave the house. He has plenty of time to dress and eat breakfast and even watch TV for a little while before we leave. I really think that he is just worn out by the end of the week. Plus, this is a unique week. Normally he would go to school, his sister to daycare, and Mom/Dad would be at work....

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A.G.

answers from Mayaguez on

Kindergarden and no nap? Ugh! I wouldn't like to go either!
Yes mommy, he's probably tired by the end of the week. He'll soon adjust and be happy about going. After all, he gets to meet all those new friends. He'll even like the teacher! ;-)

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S.!.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have you tried waking him up 5 to 10 mins earlier? I know that may sound silly especially if he is tired. But sometimes giving that extra 5/10 mins to just lounge around and slowly wake up helps with the morning rush. Our neighbor kid is this way. If she wakes up at the time she is supposed to she is a total nightmare (per her mom) but if she gets up 10 mins earlier and can just lay on the couch for those 10 mins things go as smooth as a baby's behind :)

Good luck!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Oh.....yeah.
Mine is in 3rd now but he still has the occasional freak out in the a.m.
I think the tiredness is cumulative from all week....
Think of it as a little pressure valve--he's all re-set now!

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I have 2 schoolagers and my oldest (now in 1st grade) did this last year. It took about a month until he adjusted and didn't have these meltdowns. Once he figured out what was going on and made more friends he was good! He loves school now!
My 2nd is in Kindergarten and he's the total opposite, he can't wait to leave me! :)

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D.J.

answers from Boca Raton on

I just got the "why do I have to go to school" question this week and I chose to answer it a little differently.... I said that my grandson was lucky to be able to go to school to learn all that he needed and wanted to learn before he became an adult. I explained that there are many, many children in the rest of the world not so lucky as they could not go to school and would love to be able to go.

If he is tired, make sure he gets a healthy nutritious snack after school and then a "rest hour"; if he can not sleep, that is okay, just read books (No TV and no Ipod or Itouch, just books). For awhile, he may need to go to bed earlier to get the amount of sleep he needs.

We are going through the same "adjustment" period. I am sure it will all settle down after a couple of weeks. New experiences are always tough for everyone.

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L.K.

answers from Louisville on

Awesome! I am not the only mom going thru this this morning! Sorry for your distress, but I have cried all morning (after dropping my son off at prek) I came to work and found my mom and just cried on her shoulder! LOL! What a mess! My 3 and 1/2 year old informed me this morning that he does not like school because it is not his choice, it was mine! Heart breaking! Also he has almost made himself throw up the last 2 days of school! Honestly today I have no advice, just letting you know that your not alone, because that is all I have right now! :)

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C.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

My twins are in 5th grade and they are still adjusting to getting up. It usually takes about a month for their bodies to adjust and I'm sure the fact that you and hubby have been home isn't making it any better.

The only thing I would say is I found early on with mine (the boy) that even 45 mins. isn't enough time, we have to be up an hour before going to the bus or it could be a rough start. I don't know what it is, but that extra 15 min makes a difference for us. Do your normal next week once you are all back on the normal schedule and then if there's still problems try getting him up an hour before and see what happens.

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P.S.

answers from Houston on

Sounds like he is still tired. He just needs more time in the morning to ease into his day.

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

Sensory Diet! He needs a series of activites that give him input to his central nervous system to be organized to be able to modulate his emotions to the changing environment. Every 1.5 hours is recommended to keep at an optimal level of functioning. You will see huge changes!

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M.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Is he a "young" Kindergartener? Like is his birthday between April - August? I work at a school and I can say that the kids who are having a harder time are those that are younger (or late babies). I was a late baby and had a hard time in school (I turned 5 right when school started). I notice the younger ones are a little bit more immature than the "older" kids. I don't know if it's b/c the older ones had more time at home or what. We had a student with the same problems and Mom and Dad ended up holding him back (he was a "young" one) a year. We all agreed he was just a little too young to start and needed that extra year to adjust...Good luck - It sounds like you're doing good...Just keep him calm and remind him what a good boy he is and it is his "job"...

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J.F.

answers from Tallahassee on

My daughter started kindergarten 3 weeks ago too. We have had many meltdowns since she started. So far, her morning meltdowns have revolved around putting socks on. She HATES socks and just the mention of wearing them sends her into a fit. She has sensory issues with socks. I’ve tried every kind of sock I could find, even special seamless ones, but none “feel right.” The first two weeks she didn’t wear socks but she kept coming home with blisters and skin rubbed off of parts of her feet so now I’m making her wear them. I’ve figured out that the trick is to put socks on her while she is asleep. If she wakes up with them already on her feet then she is fine. If we have to put them on after she wakes up – not so good. It takes 20 minutes to get socks on her and then I have to put her in the car screaming and crying.

Most of her meltdowns are in the evening though. They do get a 30-minute rest time in the afternoon when they have to lie down on a mat, but she never sleeps. We usually do really good on Mondays and Tuesdays. Wednesdays are kind of iffy and Thursdays and Fridays are the hardest because she's so tired and worn out. I've tried moving her bedtime up too and it just doesn't work. It doesn't matter how tired she actually is, if she doesn't WANT to go to sleep then she will fight it and keep herself awake. Sometimes she's still awake 1 - 1 1/2 hours after I put her to bed and then she has a really hard time getting up in the morning.

She brought home a homework folder with a homework calendar this week too. There are at least one or two homework assignments to complete every day (Mon. - Thurs.). She has to turn the folder in on Friday and we get it back on Monday. I think we're going to have to try to get the bulk of the homework done on Mondays and Tuesdays because she doesn't have enough patience by Wednesday and Thursday evenings. Most of the stuff is pretty easy, but it's still hard to get her to sit down and concentrate on it at the end of the day when she's tired. It's already hard to get her out of bed in the morning and get her fed and ready for school so doing the homework in the morning is out of the question too.

My daughter also keeps telling me that she doesn't want to go to school and she'd rather stay with me. I've tried explaining that I have to go to work and that going to school is her job but she just tells me that she'd rather go to work with me. Yesterday was really hard because she was literally clinging to me when I dropped her off. I basically had to peel her off of me. This morning she was a little hesitant to let me go, but she was better than yesterday.

Another thing that's hard for her is lunchtime. They only have 25 minutes for lunch and sometimes she hardly eats anything. She's a slow eater and there's a lot of commotion and I think she gets distracted. Yesterday she hardly ate anything because she had to go to the bathroom and just didn't have much time left over to eat. One day when I went to pick her up she had a meltdown before we even got to the car. When we got home, I opened her lunchbox to see that all she ate for lunch was a slice of cheese. We tried doing school lunches the first week and a majority of the time she told me that she didn't eat anything at lunch because she didn't like the food.

I'm sure it has been extra h*** o* your son this week knowing that you or daddy are home with his little sister.

Hopefully our kids will adjust and get used to their new routines quickly. :)

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C.S.

answers from Miami on

My son is having a super hard time also. We also began K 3 weeks ago and it is the problem of not having a nap. He always napped in preschool / daycare. He even naps an hour or so on the weekends (his choice). Now he is up at 6am, leaves the house around 6:50am in school until 2, then aftercare until 5, home by 5:40pm....with dinner, homework, and a bath, it is 8pm before he makes it to his bed.

The silver lining is that he is ready to go to bed! Hang in there - C.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

The no napping is really tough when they still need it.
Where my son went to kindergarten they had nap time and my son fell asleep every time.
First grade was tough with no naps, but he still napped on weekends and holidays.
He was in 2nd grade before he really didn't need naps anymore.
Now he's in middle school and sometimes naps for an hour when he gets home due to a growth spurt (It's like he's getting taller every day).
I think you are right about him just being tired.

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