Mean Teacher.... - Tulsa,OK

she does need to pay attention and not disrupt the class, even if she is adhd, ect, it is not fair for the education of the others to suffer if she is disrupting class. and yes, a 5 year old can pay attention. That said, the name calling and calling out her behavior in front of the class is not OK, and I would have a serious talk with the teacher.

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S., PLEASE don't blow this stuff off. Go to the principal and TELL her/him what the teacher said. Demand a different teacher, one who won't ridicule special needs kids. I would actually get a lawyer to write a letter to make them see that you mean business.

Your daughter will hate school from now on if you don't be a fierce advocator for her. What this jerk of a teacher is doing is very, very wrong. Believe me, most kindergarten teachers are NOT like this. They teach kindergartners because they love working with them!

Sending you strength!
D.

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Hi--

Regardless of her Adhd etc. No child should be called names, or ridiculed in front of the class or at any time by a teacher!!! I would pull the teacher aside and have a one on one with her to see what is going on and how you can help. Talk with the principal and tell them exactly what you told us and what you observed. M

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Start by talking with the teacher. Tell her what you saw and heard. Ask her about what your daughter says she has said. Approach her with an open mind and perhaps express some understanding of how difficult children can be. Once she's responded in an open manner go on to talk about your wishes for your daughter. Talk about her behavior, acknowledging the difficulties of having a student with apd and dd. (I don't know what those letters stand for, by the way tho I understand adhd.)

If you and the teacher cannot come to an understanding then talk with the principal. Always start with the source of your concern.

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The teacher is a bully. I recognized the type of teacher within first week of my daughter's school. Within few long weeks, the teacher was let go. Please do something, save your daughter and the rest of the class (s) from this bully.

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Well, I don't know what dd or apd is, and it might help if you would explain. But a teacher should NEVER demean a child in front of peers. I would be speaking with the principal and or superintendent.

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THe biggest mistake I made in my son's educaton was NOT switching his kindergarten teacher.
YOu are her voice.
The mamas have great advice.

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Always start with the teacher. Never go over her head without trying to work with her first.. It will always be the first question you will be asked if you gio higher. Let her know what you heard and witnessed. Remind her about your daughters needs and ask he what needs to done so that they are both not so frustrated.. I agree, does your child have an IEP? If not request one.

At our daughters elementary school, they placed a special sound system in one of the kindergarten classes, so that a student in that class could hear more clearly. Remember, the classrooms can become very loud with only 5 voices, imagine with a full classroom.

TRY to stay as calm and professional as possible, so you do not come off as "one of those parents" that cannot communicate with out accusing and assuming. You do need to be your child's advocate, but the more together you are, the more thy will be able to help you.

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That is not acceptable. You know what to do.

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Like others, I don't know what "apd and dd" mean but is DD "developmentally disabled"? Sorry, I hate to guess. We cant' really tell from the post what her issues are. So...IF she has some form of disability:

--Do you have an IEP (individual education plan) as others mentioned? If not she needs one right away. She should have started the school year with one. If she has medicaly diagnosed issues, the school is obliged to do this with you. The teacher should be PART of any IEP planning. And the school has to sign off on the IEP and so do you. It should be a formal process with a document at the end of it that lays out her issues and exactly how the school and teacher will accommodate her issues in the classroom. Does she have one?

--Is she in a classroom with any other kids who have disabilities or is she the only one? My daughter's K class included five kids with varying levels of disabilities (one had severe cerebral palsy, the other four had varying forms of autism). All got pulled out of class regularly for specialized work with a teacher who dealt only with kids with these issues, and were in the "regular" classroom for most other things. Is there any accommodation like this in her school? Does she need it? If she needs it, is she getting it?

--Is this teacher inexperienced? How long has he been teaching and has he ever had a kid who was "ahd and dd" in any of his classes previously? Has he received any training at all in handling a class with mixed abilities or was your daughter put into his class and he was not told about or trained to work with her issues? Can that be changed -- can he be trained at this point?

These are a few things to consider. She may indeed be a typical kindergartener -- they often think adults are being mean when the adults are just maintaining order and telling them to do things the kids don't really want to do! But if you think there is a larger issue and your child has diagnosed conditions that need accommodation, go to the school and get all the help to which she is entitled (if it's a public school).

As for the one person's idea, posted below, to tape the teacher in school -- that won't go far. You can't just sit outside a classroom with a tape recorder. You would be asked to leave the school immediately as it would be a violation of the children's privacy, probably, plus most schools do not want anyone in the building who is not there for a specific purpose like helping the teachers etc. That's a basic safety policy these days. Don't endanger your goodwill with the school by trying to sneak in and tape the teacher!

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Is the teacher aware of your daughters current diagnosises (is that a word?). I don't agree with the teacher calling her a "baby" in any circumstance, she should be more professional than to resort to name calling a 5yo. I'd ask to have a meeting with the teacher asap. I'd write down all the things your daughter is telling you so you can approach her teacher with a well thought out discussion. The teacher may not understand your childs diagnosises and you may need to giver her pointers on how your child learns and if she has quirks that can be ignored or dealt with in a manner she understands. If the meeting goes well and the teacher is educated about your daughter then hopefully she'll change how she approaches your daughters behaviors. BUT, if on the flip side, things don't get better and your daughter still comes home saying her teacher is mean, then I'd set up a meeting with the principal to see if she can be moved to another class with a teacher that is better suitable for your daughters learning differences. GL!

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I would ask for a meeting with the teacher and if your daughter continues to report these behaviors, then ask to meet with the principal about moving her to another room. I would also talk about getting her an IEP and/or getting it enforced.

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I would explain to her teacher that you want it to stop now. If not, you'll go over her head. What else can you do?

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Have you talked to the teacher? If not then you really need to have a face to face discussion with her about your concerns without being accusatory. If you're not satisfied with the outcome then the next step would be to talk with the principal and have a three-way meeting. I wouldn't automatically pull your daughter without trying to find a resolution first. The situation might very well be different than how your daughter is presenting it. That doesn't mean she's lying... it could simply be a misunderstanding. But you have to figure it out first.

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Time to get her out of that class....then have a sit down with that teacher and the principal/director and explain that the teacher needs to get better educated on APD & ADHD ESPECIALLY IN GIRLS!!!!! I am saying this as my daughter has Dyslexia (Auditory/Visual Delay) and ADHD and I am STILL going around and around with the school and she is in 9th Grade!!! She had a teacher in K who flat out said - I don't believe in ADHD and I listened to others (not my own gut) and left her in that class - BIG MISTAKE and I admit it.

I would also state to both of them that name calling is a form of VERBAL BULLYING and is uncalled for. I am fuming b/c I was in your shoes and I did like you, suck it up/deal with it/etc.... always spoke nice about the teacher/etc... Now I wish I had the chance to change it and stick up for my daughter. You have the chance - be her hero and set her on the path to success!!! You are a Great mom for questioning this and is time for Momma Bear to put her foot down

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Go to the school and sit outside the classroom door with a recording device and record what is going on in the room. If you hear anything that sound like insults to any of the children to to the principal's office and play the tape. Hopefully once he(she) hears what is going on he will take care of it. If the principal won't do anything go to the school board; if they refuse go to the media.

The other kids will pick up on which kids are okay to pick on and bully. By not taking care of this right away you are setting your child up to be the kid most picked on for the next 12 years.

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Knowing what I know now, my child would be out of that environment by the end of this week. I would either homeschool, or find a much more personalized educational environment for her.

There are some who say we should battle it out, and insist that schools abide by law and provide an appropriate education. But is it really going to happen? And what will be the short and long-term costs to your daughter?

I wouldn't wait around for them to do the right thing. I take the ultimate responsibility for my children, not the schools.

JMO.

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Time to stomp in there and have some serious talks with a few people. Start with the teacher, and if it does not stop immediately, go straight to the principal. Good luck.

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I know adhd, but what do you mean when you say she's dd and has apd?
If she has diagnosed learning disabilities I assume there is an IEP (individualized education plan) in place, and you have already met with her teacher to go over the plans/goals for the year?
Also, maybe the teacher just told her not to ACT like a baby?
Meet with the teacher again BEFORE getting too worked up about what your daughter says, and bring your daughter in if necessary, just so you are all clear with expectations and on the same page :)

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Ohhh teachers can be mean. Because of my experience with teachers and my parents never backing me up I decided to be my children's advocate. I do make sure my kids are telling the truth but then I go speak to the teachers. I really only had a couple teachers that were problems but they made no attempt to hide they were the problem.

One thing I would not allow if I were you is the, "lets get everyone together and meet." There is no way your child will stand up for themselves at the meeting, they are too young, and the teacher will use the silence to show whoever is above her at the meeting that the problem lies with the student.

Meet with the teacher, make her explain her discipline techniques. How they should work, what she hopes to accomplish. My kids were lucky, I have ADD I know when the teacher is blowing sunshine up my butt and when what they say has no chance of working with my child.

Yeah, this is a sore subject for me, sorry about the rambling.

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I would switch classes.

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I have no idea what "she has apd and is dd" means, but I would not tolerate name-calling of my child by a teacher. Speak to the principal.

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It's problematic behavior to be certain, and it could be setting up your daughter for a future of hating school with these negative interactions. I can't help but feel as though your daughter might benefit from a more supportive educational environment considering her disabilities. Is there a class that is more targeted to her special needs? While I am a huge proponent of mainstreaming, this is Kindergarten and she would probably do better in a smaller classroom or even a montessori environment that support a child's individual ways of learning as a transition into school. Look into all the options since this doesn't seem to be working very well, at 5 she shouldn't have to be dealing with these issues at all. Even if you think you can't afford private school, call and talk to the directors--sometimes scholarships are available.

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