47 answers

Mean Dentist?

Last year, we took our 4 year old to the dentist for a check up. I think it has been her 2nd time going. She was very nervous about going. The time before she had also been nervous and scared and cried. Alot of kids are scared, right? The first timw we took her, they pretty much counted her teeth only. They ended up giving her a little goody bag with a sticker and floss and a princess toothbrush. Let me also add that we have gone to this dentist forever - since I was a kid - my whole family has. I am 33 now. On her 2nd trip, she was once again VERY nervous and didn't want the nurse cleaning her teeth let alone even couting them. I think they eventually managed to get them counted. Well, after my husband and other daughter were finished getting their teeth cleaned, we were getting ready to leave and I asked where the new toothbrush was for my 4 year old. The nurse said she didn't get one because she didn't get her her teeth cleaned. I was like WTH! She got one last time. I wasn't going to put up a fight - I left.
I went home and called my mom to tell her what happened. She was furious. We had gone to this denitst for many years. She actually had an appt with him the following Monday and said she would get my daughter her toothbrush. Well, my mom went to her appt and asked the dentist for the toothbrush. He said she doesn't get one. My mom said "why not?" He said because she had "bad behavior." What???? Bad behavior??? A 4 year old is afraid at the dentist and cries and you call that bad behavior? My mom let him have it. He ended up walking away from her. In the end, my mom walked out with a toothbrush.
But, what I want to know, do you think we are wrong for this? I know you shouldn't give children things when they are being bad, but my child was afraid. Not being bad. My mom doesn't want to see this dentist again. I need to go because I need a check up.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Wow...I figured I would get some negative response about the toothbrush...the whole point was the dentist saying she had "bad behavior". She didn't go in there yelling and demanding for a toothbrush. She asked nicely but when he said the bad behavior thing, that is when she got mad. I don't think as a dentist he should have acted that way. He should be trying to provide a more pleasant environment for a scared child. But, I think I will go along with the other moms who suggested a pediatric dentist. Maybe this one just is getting old and doesn't like kids anymore. The only reason we have stuck with him is because we have gone there since we were kids. Oh well...

Featured Answers

It sounds like you got upset over a 99 cent toothbrush. If you aren't happy with the care the find a ped dentist.

5 moms found this helpful

Find a good pediatric dentist. You need one who specializes in children and knows how to treat them. This dentist doesn't have a clue!

4 moms found this helpful

Honestly I would go to a new dentist, which is what a lot of other mom's have said in here. My reason is that when I was little I had an older dentist who seemed to like to drill into teeth. Everytime we went to the dentist he told my mother that I had 2-3 cavities, and then made a second appointment and started drilling which was always extremely painful for me. Come to find out later that most of the pain was because I was allergic to his gloves, and he never noticed (or seemed to care). Eventually my mom decided enough was enough and switched dentists, and I didn't have another cavity until I was in my mid 20's. Find one that understands that kids are kids! Things scare them. It may not scare them the next time, but it may take some time for them to be comfortable.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I hate to sound harsh, really I do... but if I were your mom I would not want to see the dentist again either... I would be too embarrassed!

What is the big deal over the toothbrush? I don't think I would have even ASKED about it. But if I HAD, I would have dropped it when they said she didn't get her teeth cleaned. Maybe they gave her one the first time to make the experience more fun for her... but I am pretty sure that most dentists don't just give toothbrushes away without a cleaning. Maybe... but SO WHAT either way?

If your mom wanted to get your daughter a toothbrush, she could've gone to Walmart, not started in on your family dentist. Good grief. Aren't there bigger things to worry about?

Now that both you and your mom are so riled up over this whole thing, I wouldn't expect your daughter to have ANY interest in going to ANY dentist. She is getting seriously bad vibes from you about the dentist, whether or not you realize it, and she will associate those vibes with the DENTIST.. not with any behavior on anybody's part. It will all be part of the "dentist experience" for her. Sorry to hear that.
My kids both LOVE the dentist. They get excited about it.. and it isn't b/c of a toothbrush. He's just a goofy guy who likes to razz them and they love every minute of it.

13 moms found this helpful

Let me get this right.

Your mom got all mama grizzly on the dentist because your 4 year old didn't get a toothbrush? That's a little over the top.

Who was more upset over not getting the toothbrush? You, your mom, or your daughter? If it was you or your mom, then you really need to get over it. If it was your daughter then this is a great opportunity to let your daughter know that in order to get her new toothbrush she needs to do what is needed to get a new toothbrush: let them count her teeth and clean them. I'm not saying she wasn't behaving. But, when you go to the dentist, you get a cleaning and then when you're done you get the toothbrush and that's not what she did so she shouldn't be "rewarded" for a behavior she wasn't able to do.

11 moms found this helpful

It sure seems like a big deal is being made over a silly toothbrush. It doesn't sound like they were particularly mean, but perhaps just really not equipped or appropriate for small children.

I certainly get your point, you daughter was scared. Have you considered a pediatric dentist office? Trust me when I say there is a WORLD of difference between a pediatric dental office and a family dentist.

7 moms found this helpful

Find a pediatric dentist - this is rediculous behavior from a professional. He should have been taught how to deal with children if this is a family practice, and to expect young children to be afraid and uncooperative. My two year old cries at the dentist too, and you know what? They give her a balloon, a duck for the bath, a toothbrush, floss, stickers, and a coin to use in their toy machine... EVERY TIME. you know why? So that she will want to come back! and she will be anticipating all these wonderful things every time we go so that it gets less and less scary, and more and more fun! I would cancel my own check up and find a new dentist ASAP. Two trips to the dentist doesn't make your daughter a pro, she's probably going to be nervous about it for years - I know grown ups who won't go because they're still scared at 50 years old of the dentist! Our pediatric dentist also has a waiting room with video games, rocking horses, Disney channel on the TV, a bead maze, a toddler area, and kids magazines. When you get back behind the doors every chair has a TV on the ceiling with the child's choice of movie with earphones to block out the noises of the cleaning machines, they get sunglasses so the light doesn't blind them, they call their X-ray machine a "space ship", and there are balloons lined up just waiting for the child to get finished. My son, who is very shy and nervous by nature (to the point of crying for a month being dropped off at Kindergarten), LOVES going to the dentist and has no problem opening wide for a total stranger! Yes, this dentist was mean, and NO you shouldn't give him any more business, and make sure to tell him why and that you'll be sure to tell all your friends about his uncalled for behavior.

6 moms found this helpful

Sounds like you and mom way overreacted. Honestly why should she have been rewarded for not cooperating? I know the dentist can be a bit scary, but its not as traumatizing as you make it out to be. My 4 year old was nervous, but we were able to overcome that by not feeding into the drama, which it sounds like you did. I can't believe you and mom actually went off on the dentist over a toothbrush! Sorry, but your behavior was bad too, I think you owe that man and his nurse an apology.

6 moms found this helpful

I'd have to side with the dentist on this one - although he should not have referred to her behavior as "bad". The first time, this behavior can be expected from a little one and he/she may still get the "goody bag" treatment as a way of showing them how it's done and give them something to maybe look forward to for the next appt. However, (IMO) if the next time, they still do not allow an actual appt to take place, then they should not get the rewards. Although she was "scared" and not "bad", the behavior should not be rewarded in anyway. It's like saying that it's ok to be scared of the dentist - and it's not ok........
And I think that no matter who was right or wrong, it's never a good idea to verbally "let someone have it" just to get what you want.
So, I would either figure out a way to make her comfortable at this dentist, or find a new one. Why is she so afraid?

5 moms found this helpful

It sounds like you got upset over a 99 cent toothbrush. If you aren't happy with the care the find a ped dentist.

5 moms found this helpful

Find a good pediatric dentist. You need one who specializes in children and knows how to treat them. This dentist doesn't have a clue!

4 moms found this helpful

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