Maternity Leave???

Hi Brittany--

I would suggest talking to your doctor and asking him/her for a doctor's note saying that you need bedrest a certain number of hours a day. Swelling can be a sign of toxemia and no job is that important to risk your baby's (or your!) health. If the people you're working for can't understand that, then I'd suggest finding a new job (after you have the baby).

I'm always "on the go" and I had to work limited hours and be on bedrest 5 hours a day a few weeks before I gave birth and it was hard, but I alleviated my guilt by thinking that I was doing this for my baby's well-being and that's the most important thing to me.

BTW--I had a scheduled c-section with my second baby and it was great! No worries about when you're going into labor, it's easy to plan, it's over in about an hour with no (or very little) pain. I would definitely do it again if I had another one!

Take care!!! :-)

REST!!!!!! You have to listen to your body. My husband and I were trying to get our house ready to be put on the market this past July/August. I worked myself to the bone (even when hubby told me to rest). I was extremely tired, cranky and stressed. Then at one of regular prenatal visits, my doctor told me I was 4cm dilated and 90% thinned (effaced). I KNOW that was a result of pushing myself too far. Only at 32 weeks I was halfway through labor so I was sent to the hospital for mandatory bed rest. It truly scary to know that your baby might be born premature. Do us all a favor and stop working... think of your baby. You might need the money, but at the cost of your child?

I'm not sure about taking leave early unless medically necessary, but (hopefully) this mom is compassionate enough to let you ease up on their household chores - I mean, she does have a child! If not, maybe you can just tell them that your doctor said you need to be resting more, and doing less physical work - for your health and the baby's. I have heard many doctors tell people that, regardless of the kind of job they have. It's not really an unreasonable request!
GOod luck!

Brittany,

First, congratulations on your baby!

Next, you absolutely do not want to be exhausted before your baby arrives. The people you work for have got it made! You need to get some extra sleep before you have to feed your wee one every three hours, change 47 diapers a day (OK, it only *feels* like that), keep up with laundering baby clothes, and all the other many things that go into caring for a wee one, much less work on healing yourself. As far as the swelling, that is not good, what does your doctor have to say? Sit down and rest?

I wish you all the best, and know that women have done heroic things throughout time, but you need to assess what is best for you. Is your income so essential you cannot do without it? Is your employer going to have to find a substitute when you deliver anyway? Are you going to sit around the house, bored, eating everything in sight and not having anything to do? Can you get your employer to switch to part-time work until your last day?

Please do not feel the pressure to be a super-woman! We so often force ourselves to do things because we seek to be perfect and end up just driving ourselves crazy and becoming resentful. Truly, as a woman, it is your job to be good to yourself, love your family, and do the best job you can raising your baby.

Best wishes,
K.

That sounds like quite a bit of work for a nanny. Is your title nanny/housekeeper? I hope you're being compensated fairly.

Have you spoken to the family to see if they would allow you to NOT do some of those things through the end of your pregnancy? At 34 weeks, I think it's unfair to even expect you would continue to do those chores.

Regarding maternity leave- I know of many women who take their leave before their scheduled due date. I have not opted to do this because I don't know when my baby will be born and I don't want to use all my time off just sitting around waiting for her to be born & then lose time with her after she's born. However, if you are OK with taking some off beforehand, it's certainly not unheard of.

I would talk to them to see if they can lighten up on some of your duties. Besides, what will they do when you're at home with your own baby?

Here is what I would do. Talk to the family. Tell them you have two options for them. 1--you leave in two weeks and start your maternity leave then or 2--you quit doing the housework and taking care of the dog for the rest of your pg and keep taking care of the baby. It's kind of crazy that these people expect you to play face to face with the baby all day. If you were only responsible for taking care of the baby, then you would be able to rest while he/she is napping.

Good luck!

First off let me say, I wish my nanny moped floors and vacumed, etc. But some people do take materity leave early, not usualy this early though. I suggest you talk to the family you are with. Let them know you are phisicaly having problems and don't realy want to leave them yet, but maybe you could cut back on hours, if that works, or cut out the cleaning and JUST take care of the 1 year old. I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to lay down while he naps and get some down time. That would help you a lot I think. Just have an honest conversation with them and see where it leads. Good luck.

I took 2 weeks off before, a girlfriend of mine took a month, cuz her dr threatened to put her on bedrest if she didn't show down...

What do you want to do?? You may need to sit down and think more about that. Are you hoping that we give you vindication to take off work or a pep talk to keep you motivated?? I mean that sincerely and not disrespectfully.
My point is you need to figure our what is right for you and your family. If it's too much, then it's too much. Maybe you need to sit down and communicate to your employer your dilemma, they're human and may understand if not at least you communicated and you guys can come to some sort of agreement.
at any rate, if you work through this it doesn't mean you are an awesome person who can do anything no matter what. And if you decide you need to stop that it's too much, that doesn't say you are an awful person, worker, caregive etc. My point there is no matter what your decision it has no reflection on you as a person.
take care,

Congratulations on the new baby!
Get some rest!
You've gotten some really good advice here so I don't want to go on and repeat what has already been said. The fact is, if you don't take care of yourself your body will eventually make you do it and you don't need a meltdown three or four weeks into caring for a new baby. If you don't feel comfortable enough to address this with your employers on the simple grounds that you are just worn out and need to take care of yourself, maybe you could ask your doctor to back you up medically. Swelling in the legs and ankles is a pretty good sign you need to be off your feet.
One thing's for sure, at 4 am when you've had 20 mins of sleep since the last time the baby woke up (for the third or fourth time), the very last thing you are going to be thinking about is how many more paychecks you could have made or how Mr. and Mrs. Employer are managing without you.
Enjoy this wonderful time in your life. Your only pregnant for the first time-- well, once right? :)